50 Comments
Apr 23, 2023Liked by Michael Estrin

EXCELLENT interview. Not only about the industry (I’m originally from North Carolina, so can appreciate what it must be like to have a shop like this in her particular environment), but the connections to sex ed, the Dobbs ruling, etc. Really appreciate this! Thanks

Expand full comment
author

Thanks Bryan! Glad you enjoyed this one. It's interesting, but maybe not surprising, that between the time I spoke with Tami and publishing this interview, we saw another story on this topic with the mifepristone ruling and subsequent legal limbo for a drug that's been widely prescribed for more than two decades.

Expand full comment

This was so incredible. That connection between Dobbs and people’s sex lives is such an interesting one. But this whole thing had me riveted!

Expand full comment
author

Thank you, Nicci!

Expand full comment

Dobbs will have a *very* long entry in the history of the empire’s spiral. I admire her perseverence in the center of the blast zone.

The stretch about margins is some of the most practical advice I’ve seen online since Eternal Summer started. It’s the kind of personal finance advice high schools should start teaching, once we’ve finished eradicating sex.

Expand full comment
author

I admire her perseverance too! That’s a quality I see a lot in the adult industry.

Expand full comment

It makes sense. We put a lot of psychic walls up against easy survival in that space. The snarling backlash to OnlyFans alone could keep Morton Salt in business for centuries.

Expand full comment

"Personally, I think it’s worth asking the people pushing this agenda, what’s happened in your life that you’re afraid to feel pleasure and so quick to deny it to others?" YES, Tami! And YES, Michael for this interview. Loved it. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜 Thank you both for doing what you do. 🔥🔥🔥

Expand full comment
author

Thank you, Meg!

Expand full comment
Apr 25, 2023Liked by Michael Estrin

The best part is where Tami repurposes ball bearings as ben wah balls.

Expand full comment
author

Legend status, right?

Expand full comment
Apr 25, 2023Liked by Michael Estrin

Tami Rose is a keeper on several levels. I’d like to see a Dolly Parton movie based on this essay

Expand full comment

Great interview. I guess Tami doesn’t know about the contraception app. Natural Cycles works.

Expand full comment

We don't use those in Mississippi because we don't want our cycles to be public information or hackable. If you miss a period and someone subpoenaed your phone, you could face serious charges in some states...

Expand full comment

Hacking a woman’s cycle sounds like SNL sketch but then again so many issues today would be funny if they weren’t true.

Expand full comment

True. My daughter is on Tik Tok too. There’s no hope of privacy anymore.

Expand full comment
Apr 24, 2023Liked by Michael Estrin

I grew up in Mississippi so I can attest to the lack of sex stores. We didn’t even have (legal) liquor stores until the 60s. In the 70s, I just ordered toys and condoms from mail order. Talk about difficulty ordering by mail and then never knowing when the post person would deliver it.

I really dislike the current two party system, The Liberals and The Trumpers. I have almost always self identified as Libertarian but that’s never been an option in voting. At the moment, you are either Correct in thinking like the Democrats or an f’ing loon. Since there’s not a nickels worthof difference between politicians of the Democratic or Republican Party, I guess I’ll continue to not worry either way. Anyway, the TV stations, printers, newspapers, and now Google, are the ones that get rich from politics. Ok, cranky old man mode off.

Expand full comment
author

I really appreciate this comment! Hard to believe that Mississippi didn’t have legal liquor stores until the 60s. I mean, I believe it, of course. But that speaks volumes. Your political take is also interesting. One thing that always struck me in my trade reporter days was how many libertarian pornographers I met. To those pornographers the Right was the moral majority (a threat), while the Left shunned them (a different kind of threat). Plus, many of the older pornographers, and some of the younger ones, had some first hand experience with federal law enforcement, which I think led to a kind of low-key libertarian POV.

Expand full comment

“ In 1966, Mississippi became the last state to repeal its statewide Prohibition law and pass the current law allowing counties to decide for themselves whether they wanted to legalize liquor sales. The distribution of alcohol in Mississippi is now state-controlled. The Mississippi Department of Alcohol Beverage Control imports, stores and sells 2,850,000 cases of spirits and wines annually.” - AP 2021

I’m happy to report I sold way over 10,000 cases a year for close to 5 years while in college. And even in the counties that didn’t legalize liquor, there were multiple bootleggers. I know because it’s quite possible that some of the liquor I sold was to some of those bootleggers.

Expand full comment

The Store that Romantic Adventures is located in was a Bootlegger spot back in the day. We still find little brown bottles along the creek and when we do a plumbing repair or dig something up.

Expand full comment

There are shotloads of these stores in Mississippi. You probably haven't been here in 30 years.

Expand full comment

To the extent you can investigate the connection between Dobbs and the SCOTUS and the “War on Sex” in future Smutty pieces, I think you’d be doing a great public service. In particular for the more repressed among us. Great interview.

Expand full comment
author

Thank you, Amran! And thank you for the suggestion! I’ll call some lawyers I know, there’s lots to say here.

Expand full comment
Apr 24, 2023·edited Apr 24, 2023Liked by Michael Estrin

This world needs more Tami's! She's so wise and considered and expansive in her thinking. Of course people are exploring more anal sex. I hadn't thought about that - but of course they are!

And normal retail can be incomprehensively challenging. I worked at a supermarket for 8 years while studying, so I was young. And STILL bizarre shit happened (like someone throwing a yogurt at my head, for example). I imagine it's even more intense when you're dealing with sex and people's feelings/hang ups around it too.

In summary, I love Tami. The end.

Expand full comment
author

Thank you Medha! And thank you for sharing a bizarre retail story. Throwing yogurt at you?! WTF? And also, yeah, retail horror stories, this world is full of them. A supermarket must be interesting though because you get almost every member of the general public, as opposed to some specialty stores.

Expand full comment

Most people are awesome. But some aren't. And there are a lot of mental health issues out there too. Those people aren't not awesome. But they do need help, which is not always readily available. Which sucks.

Expand full comment

Thanks, Medha! I'm sure you are a peach as well.

Expand full comment

Haha - I didn't realise you would read it. I'm so glad you did!

Expand full comment

Tami is so wise in connecting Dobbs to concepts beyond pregnancy. People tend to follow their “team” as she wisely asserts and never get to discuss the real impact of topics. Now, Ana sex became trendy and men are realizing their wives/girlfriends may not be as willing to seek pleasure as they should. What America needs is learn how to find pleasure, because as she - again - said: sex is part of life.

Expand full comment
Apr 23, 2023Liked by Michael Estrin

She's my hero

Expand full comment
Apr 23, 2023Liked by Michael Estrin

Tami is a legend! This was such a fun, interesting read. I'm really glad there was some conversation about abortion laws/politics and their connection to individual sex lives. It reminded me of when Trump was elected, so many women were triggered by a sex offender leading our country that they stopped having sex with their male partners. The political is personal! Awesome interview.

Expand full comment
author

Thank you, Erin! I’m really glad this interview spoke to you!

Expand full comment

Fascinating read! I always suspected the conservative didn’t realize how much Dobbs probably changed their lives. Assuming they have sex. I have my doubts ;)

Expand full comment
author

Thanks Kris! Glad you enjoyed this one!

Expand full comment

They do. They just don't want you to know about it.

Expand full comment

Lol so true… as a lesbian I’ve seen my fair share of “shhh nobody can know”. That you are sexual?…gasp Business is hard enough Tami, it’s a shame you also have to contend with product seizures. Keep up the good fight! Orgasms are good for us!

Expand full comment
Apr 23, 2023Liked by Michael Estrin

Great article and Tami sounds like a fantastic person! It is truly sad that sex education is lacking.

I am Canadian. We learned how to roll condoms on bananas and all the things that can get you pregnant, but nothing really about pleasure.

Our bodies were given these abilities to reach amazing heights... why would we be designed this way, if not to enjoy ourselves?

My husband and I are very open about our desires; it took us a while.

I have also told my sons they can ask me anything and although there have been some moments that made me squeamish, I am glad I established that open door policy on relationships and sex. Not literally an open door! Ewww. Lol.

Expand full comment
author

Thank Patricia! I went to a private school in Los Angeles that had a similar approach to sex ed. Lots of talking about safety and we learned to roll condoms onto bananas too. That was, as far as I can tell, about as good as sex ed got in the 1990s. But we didn't talk about pleasure at all, and we didn't talk about consent. Two major omissions. Appreciate your sharing your experiences here!

Expand full comment

A very engaging interview... and Tami is a wise woman.

Expand full comment
author

Thank you! And I agree, Tami is very wise!

Expand full comment