42 Comments
May 3, 2023Liked by Michael Estrin

LAPD patrol shifts should watch Adam-12, in which Malloy, Reed, Wells etc pursue & catch a thief without getting rammed. Meanwhile, a least one of the cop cars was totaled so that puts another catalytic converter available if it can be Gerry-rigged to fit a Prius.

Expand full comment

Hey Michael. First of all, I'm in love with Situation Normal! It's so funny and easy to read! Now to the answers:

1) He's looking for Miguel to steal catalytic converters together, since his buddy crashed into a pole and got arrested.

2) At least 2 remain at large: Raul and Miguel.

3) Here's an idea: pole vaulting police officers!

4) A Million Little Things, The Good Doctor and New Girl. Up until now, I haven't seen any llamas or evil rock stars in any of these TV shows. Yet.

5) Anxiously Ever After, by Clint Edwards.

Expand full comment

Raul has an idea for a new Tortilla recipe which he thinks will wipe out Pizza as the default convenience snack: tortilla made with a special sauce which gives 3 basic tastes , which, can give an astonishing after taste: the recipe uses coca leaves.....

LA cops should use more poles to stop these schmucks..

I’m reading Ben Aaronovitch ,”Amongst our Weapons”, part of his Peter Grant supernatural detective thrillers.

Watching “ The Big Door” withChris O’Dowd. Killing it.

Expand full comment

ohh fuck thanks for reminder about the book...its on List!

A drinking buddy back in day ended up in Hollywood producing and writing comedic horror films like Sharknado 2 (and believe me he is self-aware and evolved enough to admit that "work is fuckin work") The mis-heard lyric thing is a gift that keeps on giving: just ask any of us former 13 year olds who had "Let It Bleed" as the background to our very stoned lives. More shit happened in that song than the Stones had ANY awareness of lol catalytic converters aside....

Expand full comment

When I saw “Raul Macaroni | Police Blotter,” I immediately thought of “Paul Blart: Mall Cop.” Intentional?

We recently saw a screening of an 80s horror movie called The Funhouse that was pretty rad! The first act is a bunch of kids goofing around a vintage carnival and the old school setting was very compelling.

Expand full comment

Hey thanks for the music nod! That piece was SO FUN and even moreso reading other peoples' misheard (or highly improved?) tune choices. If you ever do a follow-up, I'd recommend throwing down the Come on Eileen gauntlet. (Mine: "Poor old Johnny Ray/Setting up the radio to the billion hearts he doesn't know." and "you wear that dress/and it falls off your breast and you're dirty." I stand by these). Besides, did Kevin Rowland ever sing the real lyrics? The answer is in Al Capone's vault, so that shit died with Geraldo. Clearly. Related #1: Marconi plays the mamba. You just no habla-ed your way out of a world tour my friend. Question #3: That sounds like a joke set up only Archie Bunker could get away with. But related: Who is behind this? Ed Begley Jr.? Situation Normal Nation eagerly awaits this crime solve!

Expand full comment

huge fan of the 'i'm blankin blank here'

Expand full comment

You are a great writer. You are an artist. You are a connoisseur of fine literature, trash literature, good and bad movies.

But you always be known as that catalytic converter guy to me...

Expand full comment
May 3, 2023·edited May 3, 2023Liked by Michael Estrin

1. Raul Macaroni was after an alias consultant. The current name’s holding him back.

2. It’s been this one guy the whole time. Tireless. Adaptable. Mobile. This is VE Day for LA drivers.

3. Poles haven’t touched Rodney King yet. Let’s give them a chance.

4. Beef, and it’s been rewarding. It makes me think about my Beatrix Kiddo mentality, and I’m allergic to reflection.

5. I’m actually, literally, non-panderingly reading Not Safe For Work.

Expand full comment

if it was peter yeah very smart funny dude busted move to maui

Expand full comment
May 3, 2023Liked by Michael Estrin

“There’s something wrong with that fucking llama!”

Expand full comment
May 3, 2023Liked by Michael Estrin

I googled “Raul macaroni” out of curiosity but all I got was the latest issue of Situation Normal!

Expand full comment
May 3, 2023Liked by Michael Estrin

I think Senor Macaroni was trying to sell Miguel a slightly used catalytic converter.

If the guy who was caught wasn't released on bail, probably about 999 converter thieves in LA.

I don't know if there are enough Poles in LA to fight crime. Back in Chicago, there were a lot of Poles and many of them on the police force.

I've been watching the last season of Mrs. Maisel. And it's annoying that they are releasing it weekly instead of the Amazon tradition of making it bingeable.

I already read your book. Latest reading has been a series of spy novels by Chris Pavone.

Expand full comment

There was an old movie from the 80s titled Eating Raoul. Perhaps a sequel of Raoul Eating Macaroni is in the works -- Always funny Michael

Hitting a pole...when I was young, hitting a pole was a bad deal and brought an end to hijinks. I think in cities not hopelessly behind on infrastructure, most of the poles are now breakaway aluminum. It seems if you strategically stole the "right" car (like an F-450) you could just merrily mow the poles down and continue fleeing turning it in an OJ-like adventure.

Expand full comment

Love this. I’m going out on a limb here but my guess is Raul Maccaroni wrote Llamageddon which bombed at the box office because people took it seriously. Raul’s cousin was the dude who hit the pole. He called Raul from jail asking him to take over the CC Biz. Raul said No, and slammed down the phone. But then his unemployment ran out so he began his own business fencing catalytic converters. He got your number from his cousin who was the perp who stole your cc the first time and called you because he thought you might want to join him in a life of crime. You explained that you have a very successful Substack. Raul asked, What’s Substack? You said, It saved me from the space alien Llama. I don’t know how the police fit into this story. Help me out.

Expand full comment

I'm rewatching Seinfeld for the trillionth time, so appreciated the call out to "The Human Fund."

Also, this is the second newsletter I've read today that used the term "hat tip." Is this a trend? Are wide brimmed hats making a comeback? Along with the ability to tip them as a gesture of gratitude? [Insert gif of Brad Pitt from Legends of the Fall here.]

Expand full comment