I’m a vertical burrito eater for life guy too, I think. Doing it ‘zontal seems too kinky for me. I like to be able to control my Tapatio distribution with precision, bite by bite, and I don’t know how I’d accomplish that other than vertically.
I was always under the impression that the burrito was invented in San Francisco’s Mission District. But on a recent trip to El Paso, I was told by a Puerto Rican Über driver that the burrito was really born in El Paso. Now I don’t know what to believe. Maybe AI knows the truth.
I’ve heard the SF mission district origin story too. That said I’ve always wondered if it wasn’t just content marketing for mission tortillas. The truth is out there. I’m calling for every burrito to be investigated, with tapatio, post haste.
There are some disturbed individuals that delve into the very contentious debate about the line between taco and burrito. That gets messy fast just like that 'zontal kink sesh.
An old boyfriend of mine would take a burrito and basically disembowel it. he would cut it open and eat it kind of like a taco salad. This allowed him to add the salsa, pico de gallo, jalapeños, and whatever else he wanted on top. to be honest, it seems like heresy, but it’s actually a great way to eat a burrito if you’re sitting down and can do so.
As far as what goes in the burrito? I’ll eat just about anything.
Technically, if cut in half and eaten vertically you did eat from the middle out (as long as you started from the cut middle)
I lived in Southern Ca for 16 years and LOVED machaca egg breakfast burritos but now living in South Fl I can’t find anything close. And now I really want one!
And on another subject I wonder why it is “southern” Ca and “south” Fl, hmmm
I love how much time and energy has gone into this burrito-social-revolution. I've only ever eaten one (badly) but it's this stuff that really matters. Also, reading this is so much nicer than opening the news to "guess who has nukes THIS week!" -- thank you for posting!
The AI answer is half wrong. If you eat a burrito the normal way, you bite through all the layers since the ingredients are piled lengthwise. When you bite from the middle, you still get all the layers. It's half right In both methods of eating ,if you have a small mouth or take only very small bites in which case, you will y get partial fillings in each bite .
Closest I've come or probably ever will, to the horizontal method is Chicken Tikka Masala the Indian Street Burrito at Bombay Frankie's. They cut it in half like at Sharky's.
Any interest in making this a series and doing pizza next? I have this memory of watching some cartoon as a kid (I think it was Clifford the Big Red Dog) and one of the characters was eating a slice of pizza from the side - holding onto one diagonal side and biting into the other - and it’s haunted me since.
I like fried fish in my burritos. Eating a burrito from the middle sounds kind of savage. Like a Walking Dead Zombie chewing through a leg- calf first.
There is no denying the burrito. Not even Schrodinger's Burrito. It's in the box, duh. Anyway I have macked down many a burrito in my day and I too am #verticalforlife. This way a burrito can be managed perchance while driving and or at home during a Netflix and chill session. It reduces the need for a stack of napkins too, vertical position save trees, man!
With the way things are headed in DC, I think there is a very high chance of getting you appointed to the newly created F.I.B.: Food Integrity Bureau. It will replace the current F.B.I because fuck them and the Smoking Man and will be run by The Hamburglar and Frankenberry. Use those credentials wisely, son!
1. After the carnitas, I let fate take the wheel. Each burrito cart has their own vision of justice and sanity, I’m along for the ride.
2. I can’t walk away from a chance to spread disdain and horror among the unprepared. I’m ready to meet my Server One.
3. For the foreseeable future, A.I. is for fixing code and killing rivers. Mostly rivers.
4. Let’s kick this all the way up the chain. Can Zaslav survive a burrito from the middle? Or is he just inept enough for this to be his final chapter? I’m eager for answers.
5. Burritos fuel an enlightened world. The clerics of barbarism can’t reach souls shieleded by beef sleeping bags. Thus, they turn on the enemy.
I’m a vertical burrito eater for life guy too, I think. Doing it ‘zontal seems too kinky for me. I like to be able to control my Tapatio distribution with precision, bite by bite, and I don’t know how I’d accomplish that other than vertically.
I was always under the impression that the burrito was invented in San Francisco’s Mission District. But on a recent trip to El Paso, I was told by a Puerto Rican Über driver that the burrito was really born in El Paso. Now I don’t know what to believe. Maybe AI knows the truth.
I’ve heard the SF mission district origin story too. That said I’ve always wondered if it wasn’t just content marketing for mission tortillas. The truth is out there. I’m calling for every burrito to be investigated, with tapatio, post haste.
Excellent point re Tapatio management
I would actually believe burritos as we know them would be an invention of northern Mexico since flour tortillas are more common there.
There are some disturbed individuals that delve into the very contentious debate about the line between taco and burrito. That gets messy fast just like that 'zontal kink sesh.
Not to get into it, but doesn’t a breakfast taco seem more like a burrito? Forget I said that.
The breakfast taco is totally new to my brain. I'm not grokking. Shows my bias
I only had 4 breakfast tacos in my life. I ate them one after the other. They were crazy good.
Were they crunchy? Hard shell? What was in 'em?
Pretty simple. Flour tortilla, eggs and sausage, I think. Maybe some peppers.
An old boyfriend of mine would take a burrito and basically disembowel it. he would cut it open and eat it kind of like a taco salad. This allowed him to add the salsa, pico de gallo, jalapeños, and whatever else he wanted on top. to be honest, it seems like heresy, but it’s actually a great way to eat a burrito if you’re sitting down and can do so.
As far as what goes in the burrito? I’ll eat just about anything.
At first I thought that this comment was going to end with ... "and that's why we broke up."
I have seen this, I have done this, commitment to utensils is needed
Technically, if cut in half and eaten vertically you did eat from the middle out (as long as you started from the cut middle)
I lived in Southern Ca for 16 years and LOVED machaca egg breakfast burritos but now living in South Fl I can’t find anything close. And now I really want one!
And on another subject I wonder why it is “southern” Ca and “south” Fl, hmmm
I’m sorry about this situation, Missy. I’ve known the pain of craving something that can’t be found in my state. Stay strong.
I’m hungry. And it’s only 4 AM.
It’s almost 6am. Now I want a breakfast burrito from the 24 hour place nearby.
Run! Don’t walk. Get that breakfast burrito
Thankfully, nothing can save CNN.
Not even a war it seems.
I love how much time and energy has gone into this burrito-social-revolution. I've only ever eaten one (badly) but it's this stuff that really matters. Also, reading this is so much nicer than opening the news to "guess who has nukes THIS week!" -- thank you for posting!
I'm so glad you enjoyed this, Wendy!
The AI answer is half wrong. If you eat a burrito the normal way, you bite through all the layers since the ingredients are piled lengthwise. When you bite from the middle, you still get all the layers. It's half right In both methods of eating ,if you have a small mouth or take only very small bites in which case, you will y get partial fillings in each bite .
Closest I've come or probably ever will, to the horizontal method is Chicken Tikka Masala the Indian Street Burrito at Bombay Frankie's. They cut it in half like at Sharky's.
Now I want Bombay Frankie’s.
Any interest in making this a series and doing pizza next? I have this memory of watching some cartoon as a kid (I think it was Clifford the Big Red Dog) and one of the characters was eating a slice of pizza from the side - holding onto one diagonal side and biting into the other - and it’s haunted me since.
I like this idea! Let me see what I can do.
I like fried fish in my burritos. Eating a burrito from the middle sounds kind of savage. Like a Walking Dead Zombie chewing through a leg- calf first.
Total zombie move.
There is no denying the burrito. Not even Schrodinger's Burrito. It's in the box, duh. Anyway I have macked down many a burrito in my day and I too am #verticalforlife. This way a burrito can be managed perchance while driving and or at home during a Netflix and chill session. It reduces the need for a stack of napkins too, vertical position save trees, man!
Vertical is the eco friendly choice.
Also the last few bites are soupy with burrito goodness and soaked tortilla FOR THE WIN!!
Give this man a Pulitzer for Beanzo Journalism.
I accept
With the way things are headed in DC, I think there is a very high chance of getting you appointed to the newly created F.I.B.: Food Integrity Bureau. It will replace the current F.B.I because fuck them and the Smoking Man and will be run by The Hamburglar and Frankenberry. Use those credentials wisely, son!
I am looking forward to serving for at least one Scaramucci.
You would get A LOT done in your Scaramucci. You’re the guy.
#frankenberry2028
Already has my vote!
1. After the carnitas, I let fate take the wheel. Each burrito cart has their own vision of justice and sanity, I’m along for the ride.
2. I can’t walk away from a chance to spread disdain and horror among the unprepared. I’m ready to meet my Server One.
3. For the foreseeable future, A.I. is for fixing code and killing rivers. Mostly rivers.
4. Let’s kick this all the way up the chain. Can Zaslav survive a burrito from the middle? Or is he just inept enough for this to be his final chapter? I’m eager for answers.
5. Burritos fuel an enlightened world. The clerics of barbarism can’t reach souls shieleded by beef sleeping bags. Thus, they turn on the enemy.
Zaslav has never met a burrito he didn’t want to cancel.
Haha loved the level of detail in this! Genius 🤩👌🏻
Thank you.
I taught an AI robot about baseball at the Sphere in Las Vegas, so it stands to reason that AI has formed opinions about burrito eating.
Our desire for control is why we eat vertical 🥱