Haha, thank you! And that’s LA County, not city, so the benefits covers quite a lot of territory. Also, unlike your insurance plan, I’m not going to nickel and dime founders on what counts as a medical procedure. You wanna see a chiropractor or get acupuncture, fine by me. You say you need a ride to a medical thing, I say where and when, and we go.
“What’s the deal with people who blast the audio on their phones at full volume in public? Are they unaware that headphones exist? Are they harbingers of society’s demise? Or, are they just assholes?”
The answer is D: They are unaware other people exist.
My doctor is a professor at UCSF, one of the top 10 hospitals in USA. She said to choose between colonoscopy every decade or sending in a sample annually, which, she said, is equally effective. I chose the less invasive and then she decided they're not equally effective, and that's not because her husband is a colorectal surgeon. I asked how old you have to be before you can stop and she said 80. I pointed out that if I delay my colonoscopy until I'm 51 I can get them at 61 and 71, but not 81, and save myself one. She said I was the first to ever point that out.
I had a colonoscopy last year and what EVERYONE says about it is true: the procedure is a breeze (it was a little nap!) but the crap you drink tastes like satan’s pee and is the roughest thing I’ve ever had to consume. Ask your doctors why they haven’t figured out a better way to empty your butt by now. It’s 2023 dammit!
First, thanks for sharing this! I have zero fear of naps, so this helps. But yeah, you're right, if we haven't figured out a better way to empty butts in 2023, what are we even doing as a civilization, and what hell makes us think we have the stuff to colonize Mars?
72yo male-I suggest forgoing the anethesia and driving yourself home. That's what I did on my 3rd and last colonoscopy as I didn't wish to inconvenience anyone and felt that it would fit in with my ongoing quest for stoicism. Was fine, no pain a little discomfort at the splenic flexure but very tolerable. Hate the prep, I suggest a clear liquid diet for 3-4 days prior to the exam and prep, that leaves little to flush out.
thanks for sharing! not sure where you live, but if you live in LA County, you can always sign up for a founding membership to Situation Normal, and I'll happily drive you so you don't have to skip the drugs.
The missing actor is Julian Sands, and I’ve been a fan of his for a long time. The whole thing is very sad and although there is no ending, I can’t help but feel that it will be tragic since he’s been gone so long. But if you’re famous and meet a tragic end, I suppose it could be worse than getting lost in the mountains. I mean, just look at Anne Heche.
It is very sad. I hope they find him, but I think he's been missing for more than a week at this point, and in that area this time of year that's really bad news.
1. Fun, light-hearted and almost a PSA. Bad form to leave links. I wrote about this and titled it D-Day way back when. Sort of writes itself and the child in me could not avoid the butt references either. This procedure overrated and nothing compared to a concussion, broken bone or surgery of almost any kind. Buck up people!
2. Darwin will address this matter for those who listen to loud music whether just blasting or in ear-canal amplifiers...time to learn to lip read...karma
3.Wrong demographic -- at best a high school play :)
I've done surgery for a broken bone. That was awful. The colonoscopy doesn't frighten me, but it was still good to take a friend and see that he was totally fine.
Good karma should make its way back to you...I've accumulated a few experiences also and it is silly to worry about the scope by comparison. Especially true if someone is kind enough to drive you! I'll share my old one separately. Might give you a laugh as it's hard to avoid the butt jokes :)
The only thing I said to the doctor during my first colonoscopy was, " Great drug, doc ... I haven't felt this happy since 1969." I returned for follow ups as as often as they would allow over the past forty years. Get your colonoscopy! It may save your life and it is pretty entertaining ...
As upset as I am with the Presidential mustache results I felt seen with your breakdown of who should have won. I reluctantly voted for W. I don't know why he looks good with a mustache. I do think Obama was ripped off with the mustache he was given though. You set him up for failure, Michael! The system is rigged!
You're right, the system is rigged. But here's the bonkers part. I didn't have any input into the art. A wonderful reader sent it, and I ran the Presidential mustache picture as is -- no notes, no changes. What I'm saying is the conspiracy to rig this thing is bigger than you and me. Heck, it probably goes all the way to the very top of society.
The prep for a colonoscopy is set by someone with a bad sense of humor. On the wife’s first one, it took 3 days of drinking 2 gallons of strange concoctions and laying about feeling bad for herself. On my most recent one, I stopped eating nuts and seeds a week before. Finally, the morning before I drank the nasty stuff and that was all. Maybe science and technology is catching up.
What if my procedure is in LA county but I’m in Oregon?
I'll pick you up at any airport in LA County and drive you to any medical appointment in LA County. If I need to fly to Oregon to pull this off, we'll explore a Gofundme and find out just how generous the Situation Normal community really is.
It doesn’t help that assholery was legitimised at the Presidential level for four years. Hard to tell someone it’s wrong to be an asshole when all the asshole has to do is to point to the asshole in charge and just shrug and say, ‘Meh.’
You're right about that, Bryan! I also worry that Dennis Leary's 1990s song "I'm an asshole" may have primmed a lot of assholes into making some very bad decisions in the 21st century.
Okay, so my husband currently has colon cancer (caught early and treatable thanks to a routine colonoscopy - go get one right now!) and I've been BEGGING HIM to let me refer to it as butt cancer on my Substack. So far he resists, but I *will* get my way. 💪
Hi Jen! Thanks for sharing this. I'm glad they caught your husband's cancer early. Thank goodness! And now both you get to enjoy the fun of arguing about what you call it on the internet. Good luck with your butt cancer crusade!
A free ride to any medical procedure in Los Angeles is officially the best Substack subscription benefit.
Haha, thank you! And that’s LA County, not city, so the benefits covers quite a lot of territory. Also, unlike your insurance plan, I’m not going to nickel and dime founders on what counts as a medical procedure. You wanna see a chiropractor or get acupuncture, fine by me. You say you need a ride to a medical thing, I say where and when, and we go.
I can’t wait for Situation Normal to transition into a health care plan.
Based on my enthusiasm for putting on scrubs, despite any medical training or credentials, I think SN will go the HMO route.
“What’s the deal with people who blast the audio on their phones at full volume in public? Are they unaware that headphones exist? Are they harbingers of society’s demise? Or, are they just assholes?”
The answer is D: They are unaware other people exist.
What a charmed life (for them) and how unfortunate for the rest of us.
My doctor is a professor at UCSF, one of the top 10 hospitals in USA. She said to choose between colonoscopy every decade or sending in a sample annually, which, she said, is equally effective. I chose the less invasive and then she decided they're not equally effective, and that's not because her husband is a colorectal surgeon. I asked how old you have to be before you can stop and she said 80. I pointed out that if I delay my colonoscopy until I'm 51 I can get them at 61 and 71, but not 81, and save myself one. She said I was the first to ever point that out.
I like your style! Your doctor probably isn't happy about it, but by suggesting a delay to 51, you've found a major loophole!
I had a colonoscopy last year and what EVERYONE says about it is true: the procedure is a breeze (it was a little nap!) but the crap you drink tastes like satan’s pee and is the roughest thing I’ve ever had to consume. Ask your doctors why they haven’t figured out a better way to empty your butt by now. It’s 2023 dammit!
First, thanks for sharing this! I have zero fear of naps, so this helps. But yeah, you're right, if we haven't figured out a better way to empty butts in 2023, what are we even doing as a civilization, and what hell makes us think we have the stuff to colonize Mars?
72yo male-I suggest forgoing the anethesia and driving yourself home. That's what I did on my 3rd and last colonoscopy as I didn't wish to inconvenience anyone and felt that it would fit in with my ongoing quest for stoicism. Was fine, no pain a little discomfort at the splenic flexure but very tolerable. Hate the prep, I suggest a clear liquid diet for 3-4 days prior to the exam and prep, that leaves little to flush out.
thanks for sharing! not sure where you live, but if you live in LA County, you can always sign up for a founding membership to Situation Normal, and I'll happily drive you so you don't have to skip the drugs.
The missing actor is Julian Sands, and I’ve been a fan of his for a long time. The whole thing is very sad and although there is no ending, I can’t help but feel that it will be tragic since he’s been gone so long. But if you’re famous and meet a tragic end, I suppose it could be worse than getting lost in the mountains. I mean, just look at Anne Heche.
It is very sad. I hope they find him, but I think he's been missing for more than a week at this point, and in that area this time of year that's really bad news.
Yes, exactly. I assume right now it's a recovery mission not a rescue one.
1. Fun, light-hearted and almost a PSA. Bad form to leave links. I wrote about this and titled it D-Day way back when. Sort of writes itself and the child in me could not avoid the butt references either. This procedure overrated and nothing compared to a concussion, broken bone or surgery of almost any kind. Buck up people!
2. Darwin will address this matter for those who listen to loud music whether just blasting or in ear-canal amplifiers...time to learn to lip read...karma
3.Wrong demographic -- at best a high school play :)
I've done surgery for a broken bone. That was awful. The colonoscopy doesn't frighten me, but it was still good to take a friend and see that he was totally fine.
Good karma should make its way back to you...I've accumulated a few experiences also and it is silly to worry about the scope by comparison. Especially true if someone is kind enough to drive you! I'll share my old one separately. Might give you a laugh as it's hard to avoid the butt jokes :)
Share it here, if you like! I'd love to read it!
https://markdolan.substack.com/d-day -- hope you enjoy
The only thing I said to the doctor during my first colonoscopy was, " Great drug, doc ... I haven't felt this happy since 1969." I returned for follow ups as as often as they would allow over the past forty years. Get your colonoscopy! It may save your life and it is pretty entertaining ...
I'll get mine this year. Just waiting for them to schedule me. When they do, I'll make sure to get the best drugs.
As upset as I am with the Presidential mustache results I felt seen with your breakdown of who should have won. I reluctantly voted for W. I don't know why he looks good with a mustache. I do think Obama was ripped off with the mustache he was given though. You set him up for failure, Michael! The system is rigged!
You're right, the system is rigged. But here's the bonkers part. I didn't have any input into the art. A wonderful reader sent it, and I ran the Presidential mustache picture as is -- no notes, no changes. What I'm saying is the conspiracy to rig this thing is bigger than you and me. Heck, it probably goes all the way to the very top of society.
The prep for a colonoscopy is set by someone with a bad sense of humor. On the wife’s first one, it took 3 days of drinking 2 gallons of strange concoctions and laying about feeling bad for herself. On my most recent one, I stopped eating nuts and seeds a week before. Finally, the morning before I drank the nasty stuff and that was all. Maybe science and technology is catching up.
What if my procedure is in LA county but I’m in Oregon?
I'll pick you up at any airport in LA County and drive you to any medical appointment in LA County. If I need to fly to Oregon to pull this off, we'll explore a Gofundme and find out just how generous the Situation Normal community really is.
Re the people on their phones without headphones: assholes. Unquestionably assholes.
I fear that the assholes are winning. They’re everywhere.
It doesn’t help that assholery was legitimised at the Presidential level for four years. Hard to tell someone it’s wrong to be an asshole when all the asshole has to do is to point to the asshole in charge and just shrug and say, ‘Meh.’
You're right about that, Bryan! I also worry that Dennis Leary's 1990s song "I'm an asshole" may have primmed a lot of assholes into making some very bad decisions in the 21st century.
Okay, so my husband currently has colon cancer (caught early and treatable thanks to a routine colonoscopy - go get one right now!) and I've been BEGGING HIM to let me refer to it as butt cancer on my Substack. So far he resists, but I *will* get my way. 💪
Hi Jen! Thanks for sharing this. I'm glad they caught your husband's cancer early. Thank goodness! And now both you get to enjoy the fun of arguing about what you call it on the internet. Good luck with your butt cancer crusade!