Find a u-pick salvage yard. They have tons of cars and you walk around and pull parts out of cars and pay for the parts. Some have a flat rate for whatever you want and some charge by the part. Find a Prius of the same year model that has been wrecked and pull a catalytic converter out of it. I actually did this about 20 years ago with my 89 Volvo, when it needed a catalytic converter.
1. Strong. Only thing I would've done differently would've been to suggest they both take boyfriends with them instead of their husbands. 2. Yes, and it typically ends badly. 3. PB board is the first in the board series where I'm like, Hell damn yeah. I'd drop the bacon and add chocolate chips, Oreos, and globs of Nutella. Nonetheless, won't be serving. 4. Nutella board. You heard it here first. 5. Done.
Great post! I hope those two ladies get to Hawaii (without their husbands....)
My response to your third question: No! If I want peanut butter, I'll eat it from the jar with a spoon. If I want to SHARE peanut butter (or butter, or hummus, or Nutella, or cream cheese, or whatever the snackboard de la semaine IS this week) with a horde of other people as part of a social occasion I will buy several jars of the stuff and put it onto a table with individual PLATES, spoons and the requisite assortment of edible bling. I will absolutely NOT be spreading it on a board and risking a load of waste, mess and - horror of all horrors - double dipping!
I feel share your sharing pain. Christina teases me that I don't like tapas, but I love the food at tapas, I just don't like sharing it with everyone else.
I thought you gave the cashier the perfect advice; if Dipshits #1 and #2 are going to opt out of a vacation to Hawaii, that's on them. And frankly, who wants to go on vacation with two pouting man-children who are going to make a point of not talking to each other? We're not supposed to bring invasive species like man-children to delicate island ecosystems.
I think the trend we’re going to see is charcuterie boards for cats. Treat your special furry friend to a (surprisingly expensive!) plate of little tuna and chicken pieces. Your cat deserves luxury!
Geoffrey, you're sitting on gold mine! I think you need to work up a prototype, sell a few at some local farmer's markets, then go on Shark Tank. You'll be rich, and we can say we knew you when.
Coming late to the party; but speaking of parties, charcuterie, cats, and ->the reality of Satan and hellfire:
My niece has a fancy ($$$) cat that is *possessed* by Satan. Satan does all the typical bad cat things- but particularly aggressively jumps on laps, tables, and counters to quickly steal food. During their last family get together they decided on charcuterie, well technically they just opened a couple of pizza boxes, but it’s the theme today. A second niece was sitting at the counter when Satan jumps up, tears the pizza from her hands, twists to retreat, and runs smack into a lit candle which flips over and, as my brother in law described it “that cat burst into flames like those Christmas trees demonstrations the firefighters do every year!”
So now flaming Satan is running through the kitchen with at least 2 women, 3 men, and one little girl screaming and chasing it and trying to beat the flames out with oven mitts, hand towels, and a glass of root beer. One of the women succeeds in grabbing Satan tight enough to secure her with a larger towel… Satan still clinging and biting onto the pizza, kicking and growling as she’s stuffed into the cat carrier for a trip to the vet.
Take what you will from this true saga, there’s something in there for everyone. As for me, no cat charcuterie is a starter.
Holy cow! I mean holy flaming cat! Wow. I don't even know what to say about this story, except to say, thank you for sharing it, Penni! Welcome to the party, really glad you're here!
Okay, first, if those ladies could not figure out on their own that the obvious solution is to ditch their total dipshit husbands and go to Hawaii on their own, they are also total dipshits. Sorry!
Peanut butter board: Yes! Unfortunately because of the lettering applied over the image, I can't tell what is being used to scoop up the dip. I think it SHOULD a pretzel though?
Finally, so glad to hear that the LYFT OPTION wins! That means I WIN!!!
Dec 9, 2022·edited Dec 10, 2022Liked by Michael Estrin
Fun post! Your questions: (1) If a random cashier who you don't know actually presented the whole story, your advice seems good (2) I try not to. (3) For the same reason a person would be disappointed if they went to a party and someone sprayed or melted a base of one kind of cheese under everything, this seems dumb. When you have an appetizer tray, presumably you offer an array of stuff and just dont assume, yeah, everybody likes peanut butter -- similiar to thinking you can give consistent good advice to strangers :) (4) reversible boards with covers so double the food -- the American way (5) I rarely attend anymore
Sorry again about your catalytic converter debacle. I see it as an opportunity. Remembering your first catalytic post, you don't seem to know your neighbors that well. Seems all you have to do is identify a nearby neighbor who manages to organize and use their two car garage effectively. Instead of reasons why you can't, introduce yourself and ask for their guidance on organizing your garage so you can park both vehicles inside. As a thank you, don;t provide your neighbor with smeared peanut butter on a wooden paddle.
Thanks Mark! You're right, I don't know my neighbors that well, but if you knew some of my neighbors, you'd keep your distance too. You're just gonna have to trust me on that one.
I had a neighbor when we first moved into my neighborhood almost 30 years ago (we've since sold to a happy Californian who probably sold a shed and bought our home for cash :) -- Anyhow, this neighbor had lotsa toys, boat, jet skis, etcetera. We got to know each other. He was a curmudgeon. The neighborhood who rarely interacted with him called him "The Stubborn Swede". His garage was crazy organized and he shared some DIY stuff he had done. We had a largish, DISORGANIZED garage and hard to get cars in consistently. I got inspiration from his garage and in later years could get three cars in it when weather was bad, etcetera. You never know what you might get from a weird interaction. There are some cool, low-cost pulley lifts that let you put the crap you rarely use up high in garage and clear a bunch of space. They are pretty slick and make it EZ to use the floor space & remain easy to get in and out of cars The best ones let you store stuff ABOVE the garage door when it is open. Light stuff like Christmas stuff can be put up there and out of the way. It was always nice to be able to get cars in garage when we needed to.
Peanut butter boards are a big hell no. I was already drawing the line at butter boards because, while it looks beautiful, it's a massive faff to deal with and suddenly your guest is getting their oily buttery fingers on everything. Peanut butter is even worse. Have you tried to clean peanut butter off a surface before? It SMEARS first. Tik Tok, to me, is the social media version of the Florida Man: absolute chaos and wild advice being given over there. *rant over*
Haha! Natalie, this was a great rant! I never thought of Tik Tok as the Florida Man of social media, but I love that line! And you're right, peanut butter seems like a horror show when it's time to clean up.
omfg that peanut butter board looks so good. also, i have had my catalytic converter stolen twice in LA as well and have mANY thoughts but I somehow did not read the piece about the car so lemme read that first before wading in here
The advice you gave the cashier was good. As the old song says, Pack up all my cares and woes
Here I go, singing low Bye, bye, blackbird She should be reminded that fights are never about nothing. The something they may be about may be stupid, but it does exist.
Tis the season for cookie boards.
Congrats again on reaching your magic number. But, what is it that makes certain numbers magic? 10 for fingers or toes, 7 for days of a week. Multiples of 10 because we count in base 10? Why not shoot for a number to match your birthday or anniversary ?
Was just reading about Indonesia's new banning of sex outside marriage law, even for tourists, and I know you guys just got back from Bali and WHAT DID YOU DO?
OK, I didn't cover this in Situation Bali, but while we were in Indonesia, we served in the Parliament. Christina advanced a very progressive agenda that included the right to love anyone, bodily autonomy, democracy, the rule of law, and all kinds of other goodies. I served in the minority, and since we didn't have the votes, I helped do a coup, and we pretty much flushed all that democracy & rule of law stuff down the toilet. After the coup, Christina and other progressives fled the country, rather than face prison. Meanwhile, I used my newfound power to loot the treasury, because let's face it, this political thing was always a massive grift, which is why I flew business class home.
Sorry to hear about the Catalytic converter. I agree moving isn't an option either. Here in Vancouver and Portland and elsewhere those thefts are also just as high.
Honestly these butter boards and peanut butter boards are lowbrow party appetizers made by lazy hosts to whom I'd say "Go out and buy some decent cheeses and salami for this charcuterie board and save the Jif for your kid's lunch pal, ya cheap ass!"
As for your manly advice, I agree. The wives should leave the dopes at home and go enjoy Hawaii.
Sad to hear that Vancouver and Portland are also suffering from a catalytic crime wave. What a world. And you might be right, these boards are kind of lazy, but I'll bet that the person who makes the board tells their spouse it's their job to clean it, which is actually the hard part, if we're talking butter or peanut butter. If Christina pulls that stuff on me, I'm going to Hawaii alone.
Yes, Cashier, tell your husband you are going to Hawaii, and it’s his choice to go or stay home, especially if the trip is already paid for. Then go and have a great time!
Michael, moving to Amsterdam sounds like a brilliant idea (I just visited that fair city a few months ago) but would not be a good fit for you if you are not a world-class bike rider. EVERYONE there gets around by bike. And they all ride like they are approaching the finish line in the Tour de France. As a pedestrian, it isn’t cars that are the danger, it’s the bike lanes!
Yes, I know Amsterdam well. It's actually my favorite city on Earth. I managed to get around on foot and with public transport just fine, but you're right those bikes will take you out if you're not careful.
Find a u-pick salvage yard. They have tons of cars and you walk around and pull parts out of cars and pay for the parts. Some have a flat rate for whatever you want and some charge by the part. Find a Prius of the same year model that has been wrecked and pull a catalytic converter out of it. I actually did this about 20 years ago with my 89 Volvo, when it needed a catalytic converter.
And Kristen, just think of the stories Micheal could write about his adventures at the u-pick salvage yard!!!
Great minds, Steve, great minds!
Kristen!!! Thank you so much for suggesting this! I have no idea if it'll work, but it's worth a shot, and it will likely make for a good story!
1. Strong. Only thing I would've done differently would've been to suggest they both take boyfriends with them instead of their husbands. 2. Yes, and it typically ends badly. 3. PB board is the first in the board series where I'm like, Hell damn yeah. I'd drop the bacon and add chocolate chips, Oreos, and globs of Nutella. Nonetheless, won't be serving. 4. Nutella board. You heard it here first. 5. Done.
I think we've discovered that you're a sweet, as opposed to savory, board man.
Great post! I hope those two ladies get to Hawaii (without their husbands....)
My response to your third question: No! If I want peanut butter, I'll eat it from the jar with a spoon. If I want to SHARE peanut butter (or butter, or hummus, or Nutella, or cream cheese, or whatever the snackboard de la semaine IS this week) with a horde of other people as part of a social occasion I will buy several jars of the stuff and put it onto a table with individual PLATES, spoons and the requisite assortment of edible bling. I will absolutely NOT be spreading it on a board and risking a load of waste, mess and - horror of all horrors - double dipping!
Rebecca, you are wise. And if you ever do throw a peanut butter party, the peanut butter will be safe from contamination, which is a real plus!
I sold it as a hygiene issue, but maybe I just don’t like to share....! 😉
I feel share your sharing pain. Christina teases me that I don't like tapas, but I love the food at tapas, I just don't like sharing it with everyone else.
🤣
I thought you gave the cashier the perfect advice; if Dipshits #1 and #2 are going to opt out of a vacation to Hawaii, that's on them. And frankly, who wants to go on vacation with two pouting man-children who are going to make a point of not talking to each other? We're not supposed to bring invasive species like man-children to delicate island ecosystems.
Right on, Bill!
I think the trend we’re going to see is charcuterie boards for cats. Treat your special furry friend to a (surprisingly expensive!) plate of little tuna and chicken pieces. Your cat deserves luxury!
Geoffrey, you're sitting on gold mine! I think you need to work up a prototype, sell a few at some local farmer's markets, then go on Shark Tank. You'll be rich, and we can say we knew you when.
What I want is for someone else to buy the idea off me and give me credit later. Who’s in the market for wacky ideas?
Shark Tank! You can sell 100% of your wacky idea to the sharks and walk away.
I gotta dive into that tank!
Coming late to the party; but speaking of parties, charcuterie, cats, and ->the reality of Satan and hellfire:
My niece has a fancy ($$$) cat that is *possessed* by Satan. Satan does all the typical bad cat things- but particularly aggressively jumps on laps, tables, and counters to quickly steal food. During their last family get together they decided on charcuterie, well technically they just opened a couple of pizza boxes, but it’s the theme today. A second niece was sitting at the counter when Satan jumps up, tears the pizza from her hands, twists to retreat, and runs smack into a lit candle which flips over and, as my brother in law described it “that cat burst into flames like those Christmas trees demonstrations the firefighters do every year!”
So now flaming Satan is running through the kitchen with at least 2 women, 3 men, and one little girl screaming and chasing it and trying to beat the flames out with oven mitts, hand towels, and a glass of root beer. One of the women succeeds in grabbing Satan tight enough to secure her with a larger towel… Satan still clinging and biting onto the pizza, kicking and growling as she’s stuffed into the cat carrier for a trip to the vet.
Take what you will from this true saga, there’s something in there for everyone. As for me, no cat charcuterie is a starter.
Holy cow! I mean holy flaming cat! Wow. I don't even know what to say about this story, except to say, thank you for sharing it, Penni! Welcome to the party, really glad you're here!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🐈⬛
Okay, first, if those ladies could not figure out on their own that the obvious solution is to ditch their total dipshit husbands and go to Hawaii on their own, they are also total dipshits. Sorry!
Peanut butter board: Yes! Unfortunately because of the lettering applied over the image, I can't tell what is being used to scoop up the dip. I think it SHOULD a pretzel though?
Finally, so glad to hear that the LYFT OPTION wins! That means I WIN!!!
Don't be sorry, Anne! It's possible those women were dipshits.
As for the peanut butter scoop, it's actually a waffle, which is cool, but I think pretzels make a lot more sense.
As for the Lyft option, you were already a winner :)
All of this.
Fun post! Your questions: (1) If a random cashier who you don't know actually presented the whole story, your advice seems good (2) I try not to. (3) For the same reason a person would be disappointed if they went to a party and someone sprayed or melted a base of one kind of cheese under everything, this seems dumb. When you have an appetizer tray, presumably you offer an array of stuff and just dont assume, yeah, everybody likes peanut butter -- similiar to thinking you can give consistent good advice to strangers :) (4) reversible boards with covers so double the food -- the American way (5) I rarely attend anymore
Sorry again about your catalytic converter debacle. I see it as an opportunity. Remembering your first catalytic post, you don't seem to know your neighbors that well. Seems all you have to do is identify a nearby neighbor who manages to organize and use their two car garage effectively. Instead of reasons why you can't, introduce yourself and ask for their guidance on organizing your garage so you can park both vehicles inside. As a thank you, don;t provide your neighbor with smeared peanut butter on a wooden paddle.
Thanks Mark! You're right, I don't know my neighbors that well, but if you knew some of my neighbors, you'd keep your distance too. You're just gonna have to trust me on that one.
I had a neighbor when we first moved into my neighborhood almost 30 years ago (we've since sold to a happy Californian who probably sold a shed and bought our home for cash :) -- Anyhow, this neighbor had lotsa toys, boat, jet skis, etcetera. We got to know each other. He was a curmudgeon. The neighborhood who rarely interacted with him called him "The Stubborn Swede". His garage was crazy organized and he shared some DIY stuff he had done. We had a largish, DISORGANIZED garage and hard to get cars in consistently. I got inspiration from his garage and in later years could get three cars in it when weather was bad, etcetera. You never know what you might get from a weird interaction. There are some cool, low-cost pulley lifts that let you put the crap you rarely use up high in garage and clear a bunch of space. They are pretty slick and make it EZ to use the floor space & remain easy to get in and out of cars The best ones let you store stuff ABOVE the garage door when it is open. Light stuff like Christmas stuff can be put up there and out of the way. It was always nice to be able to get cars in garage when we needed to.
🔥🔥❤️
Peanut butter boards are a big hell no. I was already drawing the line at butter boards because, while it looks beautiful, it's a massive faff to deal with and suddenly your guest is getting their oily buttery fingers on everything. Peanut butter is even worse. Have you tried to clean peanut butter off a surface before? It SMEARS first. Tik Tok, to me, is the social media version of the Florida Man: absolute chaos and wild advice being given over there. *rant over*
Haha! Natalie, this was a great rant! I never thought of Tik Tok as the Florida Man of social media, but I love that line! And you're right, peanut butter seems like a horror show when it's time to clean up.
🤣🤣🔥❤️
Congrats on the milestone! Great TJ advice. I want to go to HI! Peanut butter or no, I'm still gonna sit the whole butter board thing out. 🤷🏽♀️
I want to go to Hawaii too! Maybe I should’ve talked the TJ’s cashier into selling me her tickets and hotel.
omfg that peanut butter board looks so good. also, i have had my catalytic converter stolen twice in LA as well and have mANY thoughts but I somehow did not read the piece about the car so lemme read that first before wading in here
The advice you gave the cashier was good. As the old song says, Pack up all my cares and woes
Here I go, singing low Bye, bye, blackbird She should be reminded that fights are never about nothing. The something they may be about may be stupid, but it does exist.
Tis the season for cookie boards.
Congrats again on reaching your magic number. But, what is it that makes certain numbers magic? 10 for fingers or toes, 7 for days of a week. Multiples of 10 because we count in base 10? Why not shoot for a number to match your birthday or anniversary ?
Well, my new magic number was going to be 2000, but I take you're point, so I'm shooting for the much more cinematic magic number of 2001!
New reader here, courtesy of the Substack shout-out. Great stuff, Michael. Congrats on the milestone, and I look forward to reading more!
Hi Doug! Welcome aboard and thanks for telling me how you found Situation Normal!
❤️
Was just reading about Indonesia's new banning of sex outside marriage law, even for tourists, and I know you guys just got back from Bali and WHAT DID YOU DO?
OK, I didn't cover this in Situation Bali, but while we were in Indonesia, we served in the Parliament. Christina advanced a very progressive agenda that included the right to love anyone, bodily autonomy, democracy, the rule of law, and all kinds of other goodies. I served in the minority, and since we didn't have the votes, I helped do a coup, and we pretty much flushed all that democracy & rule of law stuff down the toilet. After the coup, Christina and other progressives fled the country, rather than face prison. Meanwhile, I used my newfound power to loot the treasury, because let's face it, this political thing was always a massive grift, which is why I flew business class home.
I KNEW it!
Yup, total coup guy here. You got me, but like all American coup guys, I’ll never be brought to justice.
Sorry to hear about the Catalytic converter. I agree moving isn't an option either. Here in Vancouver and Portland and elsewhere those thefts are also just as high.
Honestly these butter boards and peanut butter boards are lowbrow party appetizers made by lazy hosts to whom I'd say "Go out and buy some decent cheeses and salami for this charcuterie board and save the Jif for your kid's lunch pal, ya cheap ass!"
As for your manly advice, I agree. The wives should leave the dopes at home and go enjoy Hawaii.
Sad to hear that Vancouver and Portland are also suffering from a catalytic crime wave. What a world. And you might be right, these boards are kind of lazy, but I'll bet that the person who makes the board tells their spouse it's their job to clean it, which is actually the hard part, if we're talking butter or peanut butter. If Christina pulls that stuff on me, I'm going to Hawaii alone.
🫰🫰🔥
Yes, Cashier, tell your husband you are going to Hawaii, and it’s his choice to go or stay home, especially if the trip is already paid for. Then go and have a great time!
Michael, moving to Amsterdam sounds like a brilliant idea (I just visited that fair city a few months ago) but would not be a good fit for you if you are not a world-class bike rider. EVERYONE there gets around by bike. And they all ride like they are approaching the finish line in the Tour de France. As a pedestrian, it isn’t cars that are the danger, it’s the bike lanes!
Yes, I know Amsterdam well. It's actually my favorite city on Earth. I managed to get around on foot and with public transport just fine, but you're right those bikes will take you out if you're not careful.
I'm all for the move to Cleveland area idea...!!