I love the "party mode" quote by the salesman, as if that is the most valuable aspect about the car. I currently drive a semi-automatic white Fiat that I both love and hate. I love cause its a tiny thing and an excuse not to drive people around in, since it's so small. Hate it because when it has about half a tank of gas, the car shakes just a little and takes a few beats to speed up which means there have been several times I've nearly gotten into accidents because my car slowed down and then slowly sped up.
My worst Car purchase was buying a 2001 PT Cruiser at a mob owned dealership in NJ. I got roped into an "offer I couldn't refuse" with a payment plan that cost me $36K on a car only worth $20K. It had 5 recalls on it and by the time I got rid of it in 2017, I figured I spent $50K in repairs on it. I long for the day when the Chrysler Board of Directors spend eternity roasting in hell while trapped in a PT Cruiser.
As for relationships, all I can offer is that you should get rid of any car where you spend more time yelling at each other over how to get the GPS and Radio to work instead of joyfully listening to music.
When I totaled my beloved VW Rabbit in the late 80's, I needed a car fast and wound up with a used, baby blanket-blue Mercury Lynx, then a cousin of the Fort Escort. It was a two-door hatchback with doors that weighed a thousand pounds apiece. I hated that car, not because of anything particular it did to me, but because I really wanted my VW Rabbit back.
I gave it zero respect: I gunned through and over snow banks, I drove it through a black and white toll booth barrier on the Garden State Parkway (twice), I slammed those damn doors as hard as I could in retaliation for how hard they made it to put anything (like my son, food for the week) into the back seat. I even impaled it on a concrete barrier after pulling forward out of a parking space instead of reversing. The car kept going. And going. And going. When I could finally afford a new car, I got a Mazda 323 hatchback with FOUR doors the Lynx found a new life with a man who paid me $800 and then told me he was going to use it to commute with six other men from Manhattan to the restaurant they worked in down the road. Last I knew, it was still going.
The poor Mazada though: I'd only owned it a few months when I backed it into the concrete base of a streetlight in front of my new boss at the time.
“Is there anything we can do to put you in a new car?” a salesman asked. “Yeah, you can sell me a Toyota.” BEST LINE EVER, Michael! Totally cracked me up. My son always buys a car with a manual transmission - says it is the best theft prevention you can get, as hardly anyone knows how to drive one these days. MY dream car would have two things: an ATM on the dashboard that draws on someone else's bank account and a JIF-EE toilet. Just saying. Sharron at 🍁LEAVES.
My worst car was a Ford Pinto. Its main feature was a $99 a month car payment. Nicked a hole in the oil pan. They had to lift the engine to fix it. The catalytic converter, back before they were steal-able, clogged up and the mechanic suggested ramming a rod through it to open it up.
Never liked a car enough to know its name.
My dream car now would be a tiny cheap comfortable electric car that could move my RV home from place to place. Instead of that, I drive a huge RAM 3500 that drink diesel like a college freshman drinks cheap beer.
My idea is to live someplace within walking distance of a decent restaurant, a friendly bar, and a large grocery store.
The most fascinating part of this is that you had never had a pre-meeting up until that point. Then I realized as a married man as well that unless your spouse mentions having a pre-meeting, it may never occur to you. I've also just realized that not only are you providing humor, but marriage counseling advice. As such, your Substack is easily a $300/month service and can charge insurance. Congratulations on the raise!
My worst car was red 84 Firebird I drove in 94. The rear-wheel drive was not so great in the Buffalo snow. It overheated every 20 miles. Finally one day on the highway the whole engine just melted into a single block of metal and that was it. I was so happy.
I sold my last car, an 88Grand Am when I lived in Queens in 96. I put a classified ad in the daily news and two guys who didn’t speak English showed up at my door and gave me $500 and drove it away. I was so happy.
I hate owning a car. I will never again live in a place that requires driving. NYC rocks.
Fun story. Seems like one bad car is a small price to pay to connect you and your wife. Best car ever is easy. Won $5000 off price and bought the first year Honda Pilot in 2003. All three of my boys drove it through college, always safe and reliable and then became the safe vehicle for protecting my first grandson. Eventually donated to charity. Simply would not die. Probably over 250K and transmission was just fine :) -- my dream car is when autonomy and driverless become a reality so I will just be able to sit in the back and chat and go anywhere..
The prompts: 1. My first car, a 1991 Pontiac Grand Prix. Starting at 15, I worked for a whole year to save up for it and it became a perennial money sink. Have hated cars ever since. 2. Never named a car, but my daughter named our Subaru Outback "Avery." 3. A bike. 4. As mentioned before, we have one car but ride bikes almost exclusively nowadays. Despite the winters, Chicago is an amazing biking city. We splurged for a front-loading cargo bike in 2021 and that's how we shuttle our kids around town. Best purchase ever. 5. Neither you, nor your partner, will change as much as you might hope. Make sure you actually like the person you're signing up with (happily married eight years here).
Glad you two got on the same page about big decisions. The Ford Fiesta sounds like complete garbage!
Dark Helmet is a wonderful name for a car. We named our current car Wally, after Wallace Shawn. It’s a Honda Fit and I love it. It’s compact car with the ability to haul lots of stuff when needed due to drop down back seats.
Dream car? I currently drive a 2012 Mazda5, best car I've ever owned, and they stopped making 'em, so now I am adrift. I had a 1979 Malibu Classic that I called "Pavement" because of its worn grey paint and a 1999 Chevy Venture minivan that I called "Blue Box" and tried to pass off as a truck, even as my friends laughed at me. I used words like "ladder-frame" and "rack and pinion" but to no avail.
I love the "party mode" quote by the salesman, as if that is the most valuable aspect about the car. I currently drive a semi-automatic white Fiat that I both love and hate. I love cause its a tiny thing and an excuse not to drive people around in, since it's so small. Hate it because when it has about half a tank of gas, the car shakes just a little and takes a few beats to speed up which means there have been several times I've nearly gotten into accidents because my car slowed down and then slowly sped up.
My worst Car purchase was buying a 2001 PT Cruiser at a mob owned dealership in NJ. I got roped into an "offer I couldn't refuse" with a payment plan that cost me $36K on a car only worth $20K. It had 5 recalls on it and by the time I got rid of it in 2017, I figured I spent $50K in repairs on it. I long for the day when the Chrysler Board of Directors spend eternity roasting in hell while trapped in a PT Cruiser.
As for relationships, all I can offer is that you should get rid of any car where you spend more time yelling at each other over how to get the GPS and Radio to work instead of joyfully listening to music.
When I totaled my beloved VW Rabbit in the late 80's, I needed a car fast and wound up with a used, baby blanket-blue Mercury Lynx, then a cousin of the Fort Escort. It was a two-door hatchback with doors that weighed a thousand pounds apiece. I hated that car, not because of anything particular it did to me, but because I really wanted my VW Rabbit back.
I gave it zero respect: I gunned through and over snow banks, I drove it through a black and white toll booth barrier on the Garden State Parkway (twice), I slammed those damn doors as hard as I could in retaliation for how hard they made it to put anything (like my son, food for the week) into the back seat. I even impaled it on a concrete barrier after pulling forward out of a parking space instead of reversing. The car kept going. And going. And going. When I could finally afford a new car, I got a Mazda 323 hatchback with FOUR doors the Lynx found a new life with a man who paid me $800 and then told me he was going to use it to commute with six other men from Manhattan to the restaurant they worked in down the road. Last I knew, it was still going.
The poor Mazada though: I'd only owned it a few months when I backed it into the concrete base of a streetlight in front of my new boss at the time.
Perhaps the problem was me?
I don't have a car, nor do I have a licence (though I could if I wanted to) and get around by either walking, or getting rides from people.
“Is there anything we can do to put you in a new car?” a salesman asked. “Yeah, you can sell me a Toyota.” BEST LINE EVER, Michael! Totally cracked me up. My son always buys a car with a manual transmission - says it is the best theft prevention you can get, as hardly anyone knows how to drive one these days. MY dream car would have two things: an ATM on the dashboard that draws on someone else's bank account and a JIF-EE toilet. Just saying. Sharron at 🍁LEAVES.
My worst car was a Ford Pinto. Its main feature was a $99 a month car payment. Nicked a hole in the oil pan. They had to lift the engine to fix it. The catalytic converter, back before they were steal-able, clogged up and the mechanic suggested ramming a rod through it to open it up.
Never liked a car enough to know its name.
My dream car now would be a tiny cheap comfortable electric car that could move my RV home from place to place. Instead of that, I drive a huge RAM 3500 that drink diesel like a college freshman drinks cheap beer.
My idea is to live someplace within walking distance of a decent restaurant, a friendly bar, and a large grocery store.
The most fascinating part of this is that you had never had a pre-meeting up until that point. Then I realized as a married man as well that unless your spouse mentions having a pre-meeting, it may never occur to you. I've also just realized that not only are you providing humor, but marriage counseling advice. As such, your Substack is easily a $300/month service and can charge insurance. Congratulations on the raise!
My worst car was red 84 Firebird I drove in 94. The rear-wheel drive was not so great in the Buffalo snow. It overheated every 20 miles. Finally one day on the highway the whole engine just melted into a single block of metal and that was it. I was so happy.
I sold my last car, an 88Grand Am when I lived in Queens in 96. I put a classified ad in the daily news and two guys who didn’t speak English showed up at my door and gave me $500 and drove it away. I was so happy.
I hate owning a car. I will never again live in a place that requires driving. NYC rocks.
Fun story. Seems like one bad car is a small price to pay to connect you and your wife. Best car ever is easy. Won $5000 off price and bought the first year Honda Pilot in 2003. All three of my boys drove it through college, always safe and reliable and then became the safe vehicle for protecting my first grandson. Eventually donated to charity. Simply would not die. Probably over 250K and transmission was just fine :) -- my dream car is when autonomy and driverless become a reality so I will just be able to sit in the back and chat and go anywhere..
The prompts: 1. My first car, a 1991 Pontiac Grand Prix. Starting at 15, I worked for a whole year to save up for it and it became a perennial money sink. Have hated cars ever since. 2. Never named a car, but my daughter named our Subaru Outback "Avery." 3. A bike. 4. As mentioned before, we have one car but ride bikes almost exclusively nowadays. Despite the winters, Chicago is an amazing biking city. We splurged for a front-loading cargo bike in 2021 and that's how we shuttle our kids around town. Best purchase ever. 5. Neither you, nor your partner, will change as much as you might hope. Make sure you actually like the person you're signing up with (happily married eight years here).
Glad you two got on the same page about big decisions. The Ford Fiesta sounds like complete garbage!
Dark Helmet is a wonderful name for a car. We named our current car Wally, after Wallace Shawn. It’s a Honda Fit and I love it. It’s compact car with the ability to haul lots of stuff when needed due to drop down back seats.
Dream car? I currently drive a 2012 Mazda5, best car I've ever owned, and they stopped making 'em, so now I am adrift. I had a 1979 Malibu Classic that I called "Pavement" because of its worn grey paint and a 1999 Chevy Venture minivan that I called "Blue Box" and tried to pass off as a truck, even as my friends laughed at me. I used words like "ladder-frame" and "rack and pinion" but to no avail.