Sometimes three acts just aren’t enough to contain the stories life throws at you. Shakespeare knew that, and while I’m no Shakespeare, I’d put my five-act garage door story up against anything The Bard wrote in the home improvement genre.
I AM IN TEARS! This should not be funny at all. It really shouldn't. But it's hilarious. And I'm looking at my own garage door, with the dents and wobbles and am thinking, there's no way I'm telling my landlord about it. Ever.
And this line just made my day. "Killed by a garage door hinge is a shitty way to die in real life, but it’s a fantastic way to kill someone in a book!"
Apr 19, 2022·edited Apr 19, 2022Liked by Michael Estrin
I really enjoyed this. Thank you. So many of us can relate to the subcontracting insanity that Home Depot employs. And I'm glad to know it's not just my family that encounters this absurdity in the face of such commonality. Water heaters are apparently just as complex and impossible to replace for experienced plumbers... or at least this one guy in town.
The big box stores are infamous for this type of experience. You get the service rep or sales person who does the initial deal and promises you everything is A-OK. Then they sub-contract the "job" (whatever it is) to perform the actual instillation and that's when the trouble starts. First, they are being paid by "the job" without really knowing what the job is other than its an install. They show up and right away discover something is not quite right that the service rep/sales person didn't catch because they really don't know how to install anything -- they are just the seller. Next thing you know your simple job that was supposed to take just XX days to complete, will take two or three times longer and the install guys are pissed because they may have to eat $$ because of the added time or expense it will take to complete the job. And you, the lucky homeowner, is caught in the middle, often with little or no recourse. And the finished job more often than not, ends up not done nearly as professionally as you thought.
Incredible stuff. We had to a replace a bathroom window with atypical dimensions. Contractor made first measurement sometime in early July 2021. Window was just installed on June 15, 2022.
I found you from the Substack Writer Office Hours. Goldmine! Thanks for 'springing' into action with your garage door story. Hoping not to hear about it again over the ten year warranty....for your sake!
It's oddly comforting to know that I'm not the only person this type of thing happens to!
The initial conversation with the installers sounds like something out of a movie. I seriously pictured George Clooney in Oh Brother Where Art Thou looking at the two guys when you said "Your dad was killed by a garage door?"
Enjoyed the story, newly subscribed and looking up your book!
Thanks for the laugh out loud and the encouragement to write this kind of story- these every day bits are juicy. Love when he says that’s how you know how shitty this company is
I appreciate that but I prefer not reflect on them.
I left and that’s all that matters to me.
I can tell you one thing is when I was hired, I was told, “we bleed orange” meaning their lives evolve around the store. Their management is so overworked. You can’t blame em for eventually frying and doing the bare minimum.
I AM IN TEARS! This should not be funny at all. It really shouldn't. But it's hilarious. And I'm looking at my own garage door, with the dents and wobbles and am thinking, there's no way I'm telling my landlord about it. Ever.
And this line just made my day. "Killed by a garage door hinge is a shitty way to die in real life, but it’s a fantastic way to kill someone in a book!"
Thanks Jackie! Really appreciate the comment!
Hard agree this whole thing had me howling with laughter and feeling like a terrible person for it 😂🙈 I hope that garage door lasts you many years 🤣
Thanks Emily! And no need to feel terrible about laughing because I'd feel terrible if you didn't laugh :)
🙌🤣
Exactly 🔥🔥🔥
❤️
This article made my day... unfortunately at the author's expense! I really needed a good laugh and you delivered...thank you!
you're welcome! i hope you stick around for more funny stories!
I definitely will!
Ditto 🔥
I really enjoyed this. Thank you. So many of us can relate to the subcontracting insanity that Home Depot employs. And I'm glad to know it's not just my family that encounters this absurdity in the face of such commonality. Water heaters are apparently just as complex and impossible to replace for experienced plumbers... or at least this one guy in town.
Thank you! I’m glad to hear you enjoyed the story and sorry that you and your water heater can relate.
Hey thanks. If you're interested in some speculative fiction, I'm releasing this soon. Cheers.
https://novainteritus.substack.com/
Oh yeah, big time 🙌🙌🔥
The big box stores are infamous for this type of experience. You get the service rep or sales person who does the initial deal and promises you everything is A-OK. Then they sub-contract the "job" (whatever it is) to perform the actual instillation and that's when the trouble starts. First, they are being paid by "the job" without really knowing what the job is other than its an install. They show up and right away discover something is not quite right that the service rep/sales person didn't catch because they really don't know how to install anything -- they are just the seller. Next thing you know your simple job that was supposed to take just XX days to complete, will take two or three times longer and the install guys are pissed because they may have to eat $$ because of the added time or expense it will take to complete the job. And you, the lucky homeowner, is caught in the middle, often with little or no recourse. And the finished job more often than not, ends up not done nearly as professionally as you thought.
you sound like you've been down this road before. I'm assuming you no longer buy these kinds of services from big box stores?
Yep 🙌🙌❤️❤️🔥
Garage door industrial complex - capitalism has reached its final and most powerful form
Haha! Yes, I'm living proof.
Incredible stuff. We had to a replace a bathroom window with atypical dimensions. Contractor made first measurement sometime in early July 2021. Window was just installed on June 15, 2022.
An 11-month window odyssey. Wow! Congrats on seeing that one through!
🔥🔥❤️
I found you from the Substack Writer Office Hours. Goldmine! Thanks for 'springing' into action with your garage door story. Hoping not to hear about it again over the ten year warranty....for your sake!
Thanks Heather & welcome to the party! I also hope this is the last garage door story I write, for the sake of my sanity and my bank account :)
🔥🔥🔥🔥
Well done sir. Nice use of dialogue to tell the story. https://sites.google.com/view/danger-men-thinking
It's oddly comforting to know that I'm not the only person this type of thing happens to!
The initial conversation with the installers sounds like something out of a movie. I seriously pictured George Clooney in Oh Brother Where Art Thou looking at the two guys when you said "Your dad was killed by a garage door?"
Enjoyed the story, newly subscribed and looking up your book!
awesome! thank you!
You’re not alone!!! 🫰🫰
Oh man - I'm current 27 days into a "basic" refrigerator repair and this is giving me anxiety! Great post though, haha
Thanks Jason! Really appreciate your kind words. Sending out good vibes that your "basic" fridge repair happens soon
🤣🤣🔥❤️
Thanks for the laugh out loud and the encouragement to write this kind of story- these every day bits are juicy. Love when he says that’s how you know how shitty this company is
Thanks Mary, hope you'll share this with your friends!
Oh this is sooooooooo delightful.
Thanks! I hope you'll stick around for more stories like this one!
This mirrors an experience I had with Home Depot's "7 day" carpet installation - that took a whole summer. Never again...
You have the patience of a saint but a fool to go with Home Depot.
The used to be a good company but I worked there briefly and man, I can tell ya stories.
It’s typical for a large business to go to shit once the original founders depart.
Tell your Home Depot stories, Thea! I'll listen!
I appreciate that but I prefer not reflect on them.
I left and that’s all that matters to me.
I can tell you one thing is when I was hired, I was told, “we bleed orange” meaning their lives evolve around the store. Their management is so overworked. You can’t blame em for eventually frying and doing the bare minimum.
just bought your book.
Wow! Thank you!
My initial comment is not appropriate to post here. I enjoyed the 5 acts of your garage door replacement.
Thanks Shawn!