This was great. I picture you guys turning it into a series, a la Severance but spookier because real life is always spookier.
I wish Amazon wasn’t my favorite monopoly. I hate myself just for thinking it. But convenience got even more important in direct proportion to how disabled I became 🤷🏼♀️
Agree with Amran: Ticketmaster needs to die a fiery death.
Amazon is a tough one to avoid, especially with the free shipping that isn’t free. Also, they own so much other stuff. I’m a big audiobook fan, and while you can avoid Audible, they lock up just enough titles to exclusive deals to keep you hooked. I’m reading the new Michael Lewis book, but the audio version is exclusive to Audible. Regulators, mount up?
Of course I played Monopoly as a kid, I was the third kid, so the older brothers traded the banker’s job and beat the little kid. I played once with the wife and she refused to ever play me again. I was too Monopolistic.
Before, Big Medicine was my least favorite Monopoly, now it’s Big Medicare.
2. Fun fact: In Germany, many aspects of your everyday rely on monopolies: train travel, internet connection, credit score, etc. Unsurprisingly, the companies running these things are breathtakingly inefficient and hell on earth to engage with. I hate them all equally.
3. Pret-a-Manger’s monopoly on the fast-casual airport dining scene I fully endorse.
And while you didn’t ask, I want you to know I loved this line: “His handwriting is nigh-illegible, marred by collectivism.” Also, “thirsty work” really made me lol for some reason.
Thanks for this comment, Christian! Really appreciate hearing about the monopoly situation in Germany. I'm assuming the ones you mentioned are state-sanctioned monopolies, as opposed to the massive U.S. conglomerates that are so large the state needs their permission to exist.
1. A few times! My brother fudged the numbers, teaching me more than he'll ever know.
2. Technically Disney, they bought out my teenage bookshelf. All that's left is cutting the Douglas Adams estate a check.
3. Is it a crime if it happens to a Nestle executive?
4. I admire any campaign willing to challenge Tom Streyer's use of "Back That Azz Up." It hasn't been long at all, and people still don't believe you if you bring it up.
5. It looks like putting manchildren outside the industry in charge is a start. The "Forced Incompetence Act" is going to have some trouble in the House, but it's worth the results.
This comment was everything I was hoping for and more. Thank you! Also, something needs to change at the Douglas Adams estate because I need more Dirk Gently audiobooks.
Dreamworld Coke was pretty good tho? But STARLIGHT COKE (Space Flavored) is something that had I but known how fleeting its presence, I'd have savored and hoarded more than I did. IT WAS LITERALLY THE FLAVOR OF THE VASTNESS OF SPACE. Sidenote I fully get that these special Cokes are decidedly not the primary subject or takeaway from this pitch sesh. ;)
Naturally I played Monopoly as a kid. I hated it. The games went on forever and then you were financially ruined. And hated family and friends. Good times! I’ve played as an adult ... I’m not a better player, but I have better perspective. I start knowing I’ll lose and will give it my best shot. Typical game takes about 30-45 to set its tone, and the three or four more hours to reach the conclusion that was inevitable after the first forty five minutes. But I laugh more.
Favorite monopoly? Amazon. Stupid convenience. At least it helps me avoid all the other monopolies I loathed and chewed up more of my time. Least favorite? Ticketmaster makes it so easy to hate them. There’s probably a better choice of one that inflicts real damage on our world and our psyches, but TM is just so good at being so foul that I forget who the other horrible players are.
Ticketmaster has real top hot and monocle monopoly energy. Bunch of assholes. I like how you describe the game, Tim. I think that’s why I stopped playing.
Ticketmaster is pretty vile. I’ve never understood why an ambitious state AG looking to make a run for governor or the senate didn’t take them on. I mean, I get it, it’s expensive to litigate and there are easier targets that won’t fund your opponent’s campaign. But damn it, I think everyone intuitively understands that they’re getting ripped off in concert tickets.
Hard agree. Of all the malicious corporate actors out there, Ticketmaster is a pretty easy target. Has anyone in history even been like, "Oh, there's a hidden twenty percent surcharge on my purchase. Rad."
Yeah, there was a moment when Biden talked about resort fees for hotels / motels that weren't even really resorts, and felt totally seen. Like, OK, the fate of the Republic doesn't depend on resort fees, but man alive, that's some low-hanging fruit that everyone hates and no voter would ever defend.
This was great. I picture you guys turning it into a series, a la Severance but spookier because real life is always spookier.
I wish Amazon wasn’t my favorite monopoly. I hate myself just for thinking it. But convenience got even more important in direct proportion to how disabled I became 🤷🏼♀️
Agree with Amran: Ticketmaster needs to die a fiery death.
Amazon is a tough one to avoid, especially with the free shipping that isn’t free. Also, they own so much other stuff. I’m a big audiobook fan, and while you can avoid Audible, they lock up just enough titles to exclusive deals to keep you hooked. I’m reading the new Michael Lewis book, but the audio version is exclusive to Audible. Regulators, mount up?
The free shipping that isn’t free - well said 🙄😆
We need to just switch our minds back into freak mode 🔥
Oh, and I would vote for any candidate of any party who had Regulate as their campaign song.
A sound life strategy.
Ticketmaster’s ability to incinerate joy is aspirational.
😈
I like potty-mouthed Michael. He can visit anytime. 🤬💜
Shit yes! Thank you, Meg!
Woot!
Fuck yeah.
🖕🏻💜
Of course I played Monopoly as a kid, I was the third kid, so the older brothers traded the banker’s job and beat the little kid. I played once with the wife and she refused to ever play me again. I was too Monopolistic.
Before, Big Medicine was my least favorite Monopoly, now it’s Big Medicare.
Funny how the banker always comes out on top in monopoly.
2. Fun fact: In Germany, many aspects of your everyday rely on monopolies: train travel, internet connection, credit score, etc. Unsurprisingly, the companies running these things are breathtakingly inefficient and hell on earth to engage with. I hate them all equally.
3. Pret-a-Manger’s monopoly on the fast-casual airport dining scene I fully endorse.
And while you didn’t ask, I want you to know I loved this line: “His handwriting is nigh-illegible, marred by collectivism.” Also, “thirsty work” really made me lol for some reason.
Thanks for this comment, Christian! Really appreciate hearing about the monopoly situation in Germany. I'm assuming the ones you mentioned are state-sanctioned monopolies, as opposed to the massive U.S. conglomerates that are so large the state needs their permission to exist.
You're right, they're all state-sanctioned, with de facto permission to exist, and each offering substandard service in their own unique ways.
1. A few times! My brother fudged the numbers, teaching me more than he'll ever know.
2. Technically Disney, they bought out my teenage bookshelf. All that's left is cutting the Douglas Adams estate a check.
3. Is it a crime if it happens to a Nestle executive?
4. I admire any campaign willing to challenge Tom Streyer's use of "Back That Azz Up." It hasn't been long at all, and people still don't believe you if you bring it up.
5. It looks like putting manchildren outside the industry in charge is a start. The "Forced Incompetence Act" is going to have some trouble in the House, but it's worth the results.
This comment was everything I was hoping for and more. Thank you! Also, something needs to change at the Douglas Adams estate because I need more Dirk Gently audiobooks.
Dreamworld Coke was pretty good tho? But STARLIGHT COKE (Space Flavored) is something that had I but known how fleeting its presence, I'd have savored and hoarded more than I did. IT WAS LITERALLY THE FLAVOR OF THE VASTNESS OF SPACE. Sidenote I fully get that these special Cokes are decidedly not the primary subject or takeaway from this pitch sesh. ;)
I’m really into the Strawberries and Cream Dr. Pepper Zero these days. It gives me joy.
Naturally I played Monopoly as a kid. I hated it. The games went on forever and then you were financially ruined. And hated family and friends. Good times! I’ve played as an adult ... I’m not a better player, but I have better perspective. I start knowing I’ll lose and will give it my best shot. Typical game takes about 30-45 to set its tone, and the three or four more hours to reach the conclusion that was inevitable after the first forty five minutes. But I laugh more.
Favorite monopoly? Amazon. Stupid convenience. At least it helps me avoid all the other monopolies I loathed and chewed up more of my time. Least favorite? Ticketmaster makes it so easy to hate them. There’s probably a better choice of one that inflicts real damage on our world and our psyches, but TM is just so good at being so foul that I forget who the other horrible players are.
Ticketmaster has real top hot and monocle monopoly energy. Bunch of assholes. I like how you describe the game, Tim. I think that’s why I stopped playing.
Great minds, Tim.
1. I did, and I'd say the game played a significant role in my estrangement to all my family members.
2. Micosoft Excel. Its ubiquity ensures I continue to own hardware and software I don't want.
3. I mean, all of them, though Ticketmaster owns a special place in Hell.
4. It would've been dope. But also, a surefire losing strategy. Sounds like Uncle Joe needs to get Virtuosity on the case in 2024.
5. Make the Trusts use only their own products and see how they like it.
Ticketmaster is pretty vile. I’ve never understood why an ambitious state AG looking to make a run for governor or the senate didn’t take them on. I mean, I get it, it’s expensive to litigate and there are easier targets that won’t fund your opponent’s campaign. But damn it, I think everyone intuitively understands that they’re getting ripped off in concert tickets.
Hard agree. Of all the malicious corporate actors out there, Ticketmaster is a pretty easy target. Has anyone in history even been like, "Oh, there's a hidden twenty percent surcharge on my purchase. Rad."
Yeah, there was a moment when Biden talked about resort fees for hotels / motels that weren't even really resorts, and felt totally seen. Like, OK, the fate of the Republic doesn't depend on resort fees, but man alive, that's some low-hanging fruit that everyone hates and no voter would ever defend.
Big yes to number 5. Great solution.
This was fun & I didn't think abt the apocalypse once while I was reading it.
My favorite monopoly is Amran & Dennard & Michael's monopoly on monopoly humor on Substack.
Yes I used to play Monopoly I loved it & have spent my whole life looking for Get Out of Jail Free card irl.