47 Comments
Feb 8, 2023Liked by Michael Estrin

I am of the "spaghetti squash is trash" mindset. Also trash? Hearts of palm pasta and zoodles. Also, endless soup, salad, and breadsticks at Olive Garden is the tits.

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Thank you for defending Olive Garden. Someone has to! Also, thank you for warning me about hearts of palm pasta. That stuff calls to me like the Sirens called to Odysseus, but I haven't bought them yet because deep down, I know it's a trap.

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Feb 8, 2023Liked by Michael Estrin

I try all the crappy pasta alternatives, so YOU don't have to!

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That's it! That's the TikTok account you need run, Gina.

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Feb 8, 2023Liked by Michael Estrin

Okay, I just want to talk about Olive Garden. I didn't go for decades, but then I went recently with my little brother. And I was very excited, because I was expecting a "so bad it's good" sort of experience. But it was just plain bad. Also, it was sort of expensive. What is this country coming to?

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We went to Olive Garden a few months back. It was packed! The food was meh. The prices were a lot higher than I thought they'd be. I have no idea what this country is coming to, but it's not looking good. Unlimited bread sticks and endless pasta bowls won't save us.

As for your Olive Garden disappoint, one possibility is that they were once a great restaurant brand that's currently on a downhill run. Another possibility is that Olive Garden was always bad, but your standards were lower back in the day. Like maybe Olive Garden was your go-to "fancy meal" when you were a student, so it beat cafeteria food and seemed awesome, but in reality it was meh, it just seemed good because the cafeteria at your school was terrible. When I was in college, a night out couldn't get any better than Ruby Tuesdays, but looking back on it, that's only because our dining hall served figurative trash.

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Another great post - thanks, Michael!

2. Have you tried spaghetti squash? Is it a lie, or are pasta-like veggies the truth?

Yes, and it's fine - just don't tell yourself that it's supposed to be anything like spaghetti! I've been a carb-dodger for years, and my favourite thing to serve as pasta with yummy sauce IS veg, although I'm not all that bothered about spaghetti squash. Instead, I love shredded cabbage and leeks cooked in chicken stock and seasoned well with salt and pepper. Instead of spag bol I have 'spag mash' - which is bolognese sauce served on a bed of cheesy cauliflower mash. On a freezing winter's evening after a long, hard day at work and I need something hot and delicious to eat from a bowl with a spoon, THAT'S what I go for.

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I love these recipe suggestions, Rebecca! Thank you! I've gotten a lot more mileage out of cauliflower substitutes (rice is basically fine, and mashed is 🔥) than spaghetti squash. But in defense of spaghetti squash I did find a packaged product with dried spaghetti squash bundles that you boil to rehydrate. The taste is the same, but it's WAY easier than working with the whole squash. Not sure if convenience makes it taste better, but we seem to reach for those spaghetti squash bundles more than when it was just the whole squash, so that's progress, I think. Gonna try your suggestions, though!

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Wow, I didn't know they sell it DRIED! I'm going to look it up! Thanks for the tip!

Speaking of convenience, although I enjoy fresh cauliflower as a vegetable side dish, I buy 750g bags of frozen cauliflower florets to mash or to make into 'rice'.

For 'rice' for two, I cook 500g of frozen florets in the microwave for 8 minutes, then drain it and whizz it in the food processor with salt, pepper and chopped coriander leaves and stalks (I think coriander is called cilantro over there). I've tried ready-made cauliflower rice, both fresh and frozen, and I just don't like it. Homemade from frozen florets is yummy, though!

For 'mash' for two, I cook 750g of frozen florets in the microwave for 25 minutes (way less if you take it out of the freezer hours in advance like I always forget to!), drain it, and add butter, salt and pepper and a tonne of grated cheese. I then puree it with a stick blender, and it's out of this world! I could eat it on its own...

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I get the dried spaghetti squash at Trader Joes, but I've seen it on Amazon at Ralphs, which is our biggest supermarket chain. For cauliflower rice, I'm a big fan of TJ's frozen kits. They have one with cauliflower rice and other veggies that's sort meant to mimic a fried rice. I just saute it, then add protein (tofu or chicken). Easiest weeknight meal ever. There's also one with a Mexican flavor, and sometimes I use that as the base for a taco bowl. I'm also a fan of a brand called Tattooed Chef. Their cauliflower mac & cheese is 🔥🔥🔥.

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I got an unhealthy number of endorphins out "even though they're family." I'm going to be up for another hour. I suspect this is divine punishment for my experiment with zucchini noodles.

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Don't fuck with the pasta gods!

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Ramen.

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Feb 8, 2023Liked by Michael Estrin

Have you tried Pasta Sisters? That’s our LA Italian restaurant of choice.

I’d name my NFL team the Super Dolphins, so we’re guaranteed to be better than the Dolphins.

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I like that your team name goes right at the Dolphins. Like, how could anyone be a Dolphins fan when you could root for the Super Dolphins? I have been to Pasta Sisters! It's delicious, but a little far.

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Feb 8, 2023Liked by Michael Estrin

1. I won't spill the beans, but what if a police officer or a judge were to read this. After all, they are literate and enjoy reading as much as the next person. I'm sure a good number of them enjoy pasta too.

2. Spaghetti squash is good. I like it tossed in a salad.

3. I will watch a football game where they use their feet to move the ball, the British Premier League.

4. I have no idea. Perhaps the single lottery ticket I won last week will give me enough dough to consider this question seriously.

5, No.

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Congrats on the lottery win! If you win enough money, you can buy an American football team and order them to move the ball with their feet. Can't say it'll go well, but it will be hilarious.

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Spaghetti squash is disgusting imo. Watery and tasteless. Maybe it was the way it was served to me as a kid, but that was enough to never, ever want to try it again.

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You've been burned by spaghetti squash I see. But I appreciate your honesty, if only because I lie to myself every time I make spaghetti squash.

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Yes, I'm sorry... I did have a pretty strong over reaction! I have recently given up pasta too and I think the realization that I might have to resort to spaghetti squash triggered my fight or flight.

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Haha! No need to apologize. Pasta substitutes are rightfully triggering! Side note: I’ve found that cauliflower does a better job of replacing rice than veggies do replacing pasta.

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Great Noodly Appendage who selected the topics for your collaboration? Oh wait...

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I had no idea about straight pipes--you taught me something new! I hope you enjoy having your wheels back.

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Straight pipes are a temporary fix. The car drives normally again (no horrible backfiring sounds, and it doesn't struggle to get up to speed, say, 30mph). But I won't be able to pass my smog test with a straight pipe. Smog tests coincide with registration, so if I don't have a new catalytic converter by then, I'm screwed. Thankfully, the ETA on the catalytic converter should be the same month that my registration expires, so I should be OK on that front. As soon as I get a new catalytic converter, though, I'm selling the car and buying something electric.

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Yep, totally got it! I'm just fascinated by the concept. I hope the timing works out!

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I hope the timing works too. The California DMV is many things, but sympathetic isn’t one of them.

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Feb 8, 2023Liked by Michael Estrin

One would think a police report & letter from your mechanic would solve the smog test issue. But I know it wouldn’t.

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Too sensible.

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I have a Prius, and I don’t want to park in San Francisco because of the thefts. Cops broke up a theft ring, yet in my own town today, a 5 am thief just a block away from me cut away a catalytic converter.

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Feb 12, 2023Liked by Michael Estrin

I'm so sorry to hear about your catalytic converter being stolen again. Good luck finding another part!

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Thanks Stacy!

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All of this is making me extremely hungry and for some reason i keep thinking about Red Lobster as if it had somehow demonically taken possession in brain of the idea: Olive Garden. Im gonna subscribe to this regardless but am beginning to see clearly that all of it is extremely addictive and like adding tunes to Apple Music Library pretty soon i may have like 82% of the songs EVER RECORDED so whats the point right? if it will take 3 days while on a job just to get to songs beginning with "C" and that includes Arabic pop and Somalian disco...But this is good....

I would name my football team the Raleigh Ruby Tuesdays. ..j.ust sayin'. The cheerleaders would all wear aprons (and nothing else) with logos which read "We DO take American Express asshole!".

I dont live anywhere near Raleigh and thanks for reminding me: gonna pop Ventura Highway by America into Apple Music Library....fucking GREAT song!

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Hi there & welcome to Situation Normal! I hope you find this newsletter to be pleasant addiction. And hopefully, you were able to get to Red Lobster to address those cravings.

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1. Yes; 2. Yes, a grievous lie; Banza is pretty good but rinse it well 3. Ads; 4. Jazz;

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I tried Banza once, didn't love it. But I'm going to try it again and rinse the heck out of it

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and cook it about 2-3 minutes less than called for...rinse the hell out of it and throw it into a big pan/wok with a dense sauce, maybe extra tomato paste or sundried tomatoes...the sauce coats it and it doesn't get mushy if cooked per the directions...i mostly eat plant based and this is the best way I've found to scratch the itch for pasta without the crazy high carbs of regular pasta...anchovies in any sauce fix a lot of the problems in the world

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Didn’t realize there was a book about the USFL. I’ll have to check it out! I think I was in 7th grade when that started.

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I think there are a few USFL books, but they're mostly about business / legal issues the league faced. As far as I know, Football for a Buck is the only one that captures the stories the players who made the league what it was. It's a fun read!

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that’s what I’m looking for!

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i think you'll enjoy it! Pearlman has a book about Bo Jackson that I wanted to check out next.

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oh damn, I’ll have to put that on my reading list too!

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Feb 8, 2023Liked by Michael Estrin

Personally I’ve liked spaghetti squash with a red sauce, but it is NOT pasta. It needs salt and butter which kinda negates some of the health benefits. We ate it when the daughter figured out she was allergic to something in wheat. Maybe allergic isn’t the right word since she had a test recently, but wheat and milk make her very uncomfortable.

I do like soup, salad, and breadsticks at Olive Garden. Nothing else at OG is all that appealing to me. There’s a small hole in the wall pasta joint outside of Portland Oregon that has a bolognese sauce that I love. But they don’t have spaghetti squash.

I promise not to rat you out to LA cops, although I’d love to see the looks on the local force if I informed them. One of them would probably love a trip to LA to bust you.

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Thanks for keeping me one step ahead of the law. As for the Olive Garden, I think you’re right about the soup, salad, and breadsticks. Last time we went, those were the items I enjoyed. But I make a better salad than OG and at this point in my life unlimited breadsticks sounds more like a threat than a treat.

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Have you tried spaghetti squash? Is it a lie, or are pasta-like veggies the truth?

Ask an Italian.

If you owned a pro football team, what would you name it?

Soccer. I don’t know if this would make it more or less confusing for everyone outside of America and Canada.

Can you recommend a good Italian restaurant that serves tasty pasta with a side of satisfying answers to life’s deeper questions?

I forget the restaurant’s name. But go to Catania and look for A Sicilian cuttlefish pistachio polpette. The answers will find you.

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