The Straight Pipe Scofflaw Rides Again | Football for a Buck | Clumsy Promo
michaelestrin.substack.com
Hello, situation normies! Before we begin, I want to thank most of you for behaving like solid internet citizens. Twice a week, Situation Normal reaches more than 2,000 people, which is wild, but also terrifying, because the law of large numbers tells us that when a crowd gets big enough, assholes emerge to ruin the fun for everyone. Thankfully, most of you, including my mom, have been cool, or cool enough, which is why I continue to enjoy writing this newsletter. Thank you, situation normies!
I got an unhealthy number of endorphins out "even though they're family." I'm going to be up for another hour. I suspect this is divine punishment for my experiment with zucchini noodles.
Okay, I just want to talk about Olive Garden. I didn't go for decades, but then I went recently with my little brother. And I was very excited, because I was expecting a "so bad it's good" sort of experience. But it was just plain bad. Also, it was sort of expensive. What is this country coming to?
Spaghetti squash is disgusting imo. Watery and tasteless. Maybe it was the way it was served to me as a kid, but that was enough to never, ever want to try it again.
1. I won't spill the beans, but what if a police officer or a judge were to read this. After all, they are literate and enjoy reading as much as the next person. I'm sure a good number of them enjoy pasta too.
2. Spaghetti squash is good. I like it tossed in a salad.
3. I will watch a football game where they use their feet to move the ball, the British Premier League.
4. I have no idea. Perhaps the single lottery ticket I won last week will give me enough dough to consider this question seriously.
2. Have you tried spaghetti squash? Is it a lie, or are pasta-like veggies the truth?
Yes, and it's fine - just don't tell yourself that it's supposed to be anything like spaghetti! I've been a carb-dodger for years, and my favourite thing to serve as pasta with yummy sauce IS veg, although I'm not all that bothered about spaghetti squash. Instead, I love shredded cabbage and leeks cooked in chicken stock and seasoned well with salt and pepper. Instead of spag bol I have 'spag mash' - which is bolognese sauce served on a bed of cheesy cauliflower mash. On a freezing winter's evening after a long, hard day at work and I need something hot and delicious to eat from a bowl with a spoon, THAT'S what I go for.
I am of the "spaghetti squash is trash" mindset. Also trash? Hearts of palm pasta and zoodles. Also, endless soup, salad, and breadsticks at Olive Garden is the tits.
Personally I’ve liked spaghetti squash with a red sauce, but it is NOT pasta. It needs salt and butter which kinda negates some of the health benefits. We ate it when the daughter figured out she was allergic to something in wheat. Maybe allergic isn’t the right word since she had a test recently, but wheat and milk make her very uncomfortable.
I do like soup, salad, and breadsticks at Olive Garden. Nothing else at OG is all that appealing to me. There’s a small hole in the wall pasta joint outside of Portland Oregon that has a bolognese sauce that I love. But they don’t have spaghetti squash.
I promise not to rat you out to LA cops, although I’d love to see the looks on the local force if I informed them. One of them would probably love a trip to LA to bust you.
If it takes 8 months to get a catalytic converter replacement, the right question is the: “Do we really need these things?” Because if it were REALLY VITAL then it would be there when you need it. Yea?
All of this is making me extremely hungry and for some reason i keep thinking about Red Lobster as if it had somehow demonically taken possession in brain of the idea: Olive Garden. Im gonna subscribe to this regardless but am beginning to see clearly that all of it is extremely addictive and like adding tunes to Apple Music Library pretty soon i may have like 82% of the songs EVER RECORDED so whats the point right? if it will take 3 days while on a job just to get to songs beginning with "C" and that includes Arabic pop and Somalian disco...But this is good....
I would name my football team the Raleigh Ruby Tuesdays. ..j.ust sayin'. The cheerleaders would all wear aprons (and nothing else) with logos which read "We DO take American Express asshole!".
I dont live anywhere near Raleigh and thanks for reminding me: gonna pop Ventura Highway by America into Apple Music Library....fucking GREAT song!
I have a Prius, and I don’t want to park in San Francisco because of the thefts. Cops broke up a theft ring, yet in my own town today, a 5 am thief just a block away from me cut away a catalytic converter.
I had no idea about straight pipes--you taught me something new! I hope you enjoy having your wheels back.
I got an unhealthy number of endorphins out "even though they're family." I'm going to be up for another hour. I suspect this is divine punishment for my experiment with zucchini noodles.
Great Noodly Appendage who selected the topics for your collaboration? Oh wait...
Okay, I just want to talk about Olive Garden. I didn't go for decades, but then I went recently with my little brother. And I was very excited, because I was expecting a "so bad it's good" sort of experience. But it was just plain bad. Also, it was sort of expensive. What is this country coming to?
Spaghetti squash is disgusting imo. Watery and tasteless. Maybe it was the way it was served to me as a kid, but that was enough to never, ever want to try it again.
1. I won't spill the beans, but what if a police officer or a judge were to read this. After all, they are literate and enjoy reading as much as the next person. I'm sure a good number of them enjoy pasta too.
2. Spaghetti squash is good. I like it tossed in a salad.
3. I will watch a football game where they use their feet to move the ball, the British Premier League.
4. I have no idea. Perhaps the single lottery ticket I won last week will give me enough dough to consider this question seriously.
5, No.
Have you tried Pasta Sisters? That’s our LA Italian restaurant of choice.
I’d name my NFL team the Super Dolphins, so we’re guaranteed to be better than the Dolphins.
Another great post - thanks, Michael!
2. Have you tried spaghetti squash? Is it a lie, or are pasta-like veggies the truth?
Yes, and it's fine - just don't tell yourself that it's supposed to be anything like spaghetti! I've been a carb-dodger for years, and my favourite thing to serve as pasta with yummy sauce IS veg, although I'm not all that bothered about spaghetti squash. Instead, I love shredded cabbage and leeks cooked in chicken stock and seasoned well with salt and pepper. Instead of spag bol I have 'spag mash' - which is bolognese sauce served on a bed of cheesy cauliflower mash. On a freezing winter's evening after a long, hard day at work and I need something hot and delicious to eat from a bowl with a spoon, THAT'S what I go for.
I am of the "spaghetti squash is trash" mindset. Also trash? Hearts of palm pasta and zoodles. Also, endless soup, salad, and breadsticks at Olive Garden is the tits.
Personally I’ve liked spaghetti squash with a red sauce, but it is NOT pasta. It needs salt and butter which kinda negates some of the health benefits. We ate it when the daughter figured out she was allergic to something in wheat. Maybe allergic isn’t the right word since she had a test recently, but wheat and milk make her very uncomfortable.
I do like soup, salad, and breadsticks at Olive Garden. Nothing else at OG is all that appealing to me. There’s a small hole in the wall pasta joint outside of Portland Oregon that has a bolognese sauce that I love. But they don’t have spaghetti squash.
I promise not to rat you out to LA cops, although I’d love to see the looks on the local force if I informed them. One of them would probably love a trip to LA to bust you.
If it takes 8 months to get a catalytic converter replacement, the right question is the: “Do we really need these things?” Because if it were REALLY VITAL then it would be there when you need it. Yea?
Didn’t realize there was a book about the USFL. I’ll have to check it out! I think I was in 7th grade when that started.
1. Yes; 2. Yes, a grievous lie; Banza is pretty good but rinse it well 3. Ads; 4. Jazz;
All of this is making me extremely hungry and for some reason i keep thinking about Red Lobster as if it had somehow demonically taken possession in brain of the idea: Olive Garden. Im gonna subscribe to this regardless but am beginning to see clearly that all of it is extremely addictive and like adding tunes to Apple Music Library pretty soon i may have like 82% of the songs EVER RECORDED so whats the point right? if it will take 3 days while on a job just to get to songs beginning with "C" and that includes Arabic pop and Somalian disco...But this is good....
I would name my football team the Raleigh Ruby Tuesdays. ..j.ust sayin'. The cheerleaders would all wear aprons (and nothing else) with logos which read "We DO take American Express asshole!".
I dont live anywhere near Raleigh and thanks for reminding me: gonna pop Ventura Highway by America into Apple Music Library....fucking GREAT song!
I'm so sorry to hear about your catalytic converter being stolen again. Good luck finding another part!
I have a Prius, and I don’t want to park in San Francisco because of the thefts. Cops broke up a theft ring, yet in my own town today, a 5 am thief just a block away from me cut away a catalytic converter.