Apropos of whatever thoughts are going through his head as we drive the streets of North Hollywood, the Lyft driver points to a restaurant called Lotus Vegan Thai. “You ever eat there?” the Lyft driver asks. I’ve eaten a lot of Thai food in my day, but I can’t recall if I’ve ever eaten at Lotus Vegan Thai.
My main reaction was that the very fact that the guy put such a high priority on a restaurant - and is getting so much apparent pleasure out of such a sad spiteful action, says it all in terms of why the marriage failed. I think the ex wife, the ex friend, definitely got the better end of the deal.
You make a great point! But maybe they’re all terrible people and it’s best that their union dissolved before another generation could be brought into their particular mess.
1. I stared at this question for some time. People are amazing at dual-booting their minds. I know sunshine factories with blood feuds from high school, and despair vortexes without an enemy in the world. Vegan thai sounds fascinating, so I’ll cross my fingers and say happy. I’m going to try braising tofu tomorrow.
2. I’ll double my alimony to keep Japan Village. That building (it’s a few spots sharing space in a hip mall) soothes my Weeaboo Heart. To be safe, I may only date people that hate gyudon. Though that might cause the divorce.
3. Fairness and court aren’t related.
4. The vegan’s revealed Giuliani-level principles.
5. My love of red curry and beef have rendered me boring. I feel the judgment around me. I see the waiter mourn another lost soul. I watch the love leave my date’s eyes. I press on.
1. I'm not sure retelling his painful story of love loss to a total stranger is a sign that he's happy. Seems to me, he's still working through some stuff.
2. I'm not attached to many food establishments that don't have a close enough second to keep me happy (you know, as happy as one can be when their spouse of nineteen years vanishes), but I would stake out my share of the best local bug squashers, landscapers, plumbers, and people willing to clean up kid vomit without complaining. I've become accustomed to not having to deal with gross shit.
5. If there's any kind of duck on the menu, I'm ordering it. Red or yellow curries all the way. Crispy pad thai. And smother everything in peanut sauce. Can't NOT get a Thai iced tea either.
I was posturing a bit. I'm usually worried the restaurant red curries will be too spicy, so I almost always go yellow. But I make red curry at home. Where I can control my spice level with confidence. 😂
The Lyft driver HAS TO love the restaurant, otherwise he has nothing. If you hadn't eaten the food yourself, his recommendation would be unreliable and worthless. He'll continue to eat there even if the food becomes horrible. The circumstances make his objectivity impossible.
Aug 20, 2023·edited Aug 20, 2023Liked by Michael Estrin
You can’t trust a vegan about anything food related, especially BBQ. Although there did used to be this Vietnamese vegan restaurant in Oregon that had great BBQ “meat”. Ah, but the Covid closed her down. Sweet Lemon Vegan Bistro.
There’s a vegan Vietnamese place near me that also has great “meat.” I think they made a deal with the devil, and I’m pretty sure I’m a party to that deal since I’m a regular.
Michael, in this tale of the Lyft driver's 3-ex story about eating food that he seems to be orgasmic about, you've managed to have not so subtle references to both your books.
Did he want them to never be able to eat the food or just never have to run into him when he was eating there? I'd have thought the lawyers would have suggested joint custody of the restaurant. Perhaps odd and even days. And did the final settlement also prohibit the ex's ordering delivery.
It’s a good question I didn’t ask. If I had to guess, I think it was just as important for the Lyft driver to deny his exes the food as it was for him to have it. For a lot of people spite feels like victory.
look here mr.: you know you done good when i resisted pulling at least 4 quotes from this piece and throwing them back up at you but sure enough like the noodles you just ate you don't need to taste them on the way back up and just as surely you are already prowling over the next platter (of imagination? relevant humor?)
part of the reason i like this so much is the Lyft driver (in whom as a recurring character you have invested wisely as a portal to de-coding perhaps once and for all the utter universality of our delightfully absurd existence...i'll leave purpose or meaning of existence to Dobrenko ok?) he reminds me of the times when i flew in an airplane and my seat-mate if game in any way became the receptacle of such rants and flights of fantasy inter-mixed with over-sharing to the point of federal air-marshall type intervention or at the very least a stewardess whispering in my ear "i think she's asleep, you want another vodka?"
i would have LOVED to read your hallmark card addressed to those unfortunates who have caught loved ones screwing the hell out of their best friends in flagrante.....and please do not reply to this with "wow" lmfao
It’s funny that you mention chatting with a seat mate on a plane. It still happens, I think, but there was a time when those conversations felt like the rule, not the exception. I enjoy chatting with strangers, obviously. That’s why I take Lyft. Most drivers do Uber and Lyft, but I’ve heard again and again that the customers are different. If a driver picks up an Uber fare, they usually expect the passenger to ignore them, maybe be on their phone the whole time. But the same driver with a Lyft fare often expects that their passenger is going to want to chat.
chatting with strangers and enjoying it is indeed a gift especially if one is partial to the orientation of other human beings in general in regards to one's own perspective...many shy from it on a variety of levels: innate snobbishness (the judgemental) insecure (fear of self-reveal and need to feel superior) introverted (self-explanatory) or just tactful and sane and aware that 85% of over-sharing can be painfully boring to the point of hanging oneself with one's own belt (i once eyed that as an option during the second act of a play which doesn't really count but there it is...i get bored easily and thus usually sense when i myself am being boring but nonetheless keep going anyways as chip on shoulder obstinacy is another trait lol maybe you can get me Dobrenko's therapist's phone ?? heh)
In therapy sessions (and in life) any time I'm at a loss for words, I tend to go with 'that sounds really hard'..... you'd be surprised how often it gets used, sometimes on repeat. It's multi-purpose, fills the space, shows compassion and leaves the other feeling validated all at the same time. I recommend tucking it in your back pocket 😊
That's great advice, Vicki! That sentence carries so much empathy, but it's also so versatile. You just have to make sure you apply the right tone. If said with snark, it can really backfire.
Wait, what?! No Thai food for you, Alex? I wanna say I'm outraged, but this means more Thai food for me, right? Also, thank you! I'm so glad you enjoy these!
I used to live in North Hollywood and adore Lotus Vegan Thai. A long time ago in San Francisco, an ex boyfriend and I found it helpful to divide which nightclubs we would frequent. Since my recent divorce, I am avoiding the entirety of Reno, Nevada. Charming criminals such as she mean that even a lyft ride could end poorly for me. When a biker threatens deadly force while I am filling annullment papers, I am en guarde in the future.
Hi Andrea! First, always nice to meet someone familiar with the confusing streets of NoHo. Second, I think you're making a good choice to avoid Reno. Stay safe!
The line you were looking for was: the common denominator in all your failed relationships, is you.
Ain’t that the truth!
Oh, snap!
Just as you don’t take a vegan’s advice about food, you don’t take marriage advice from a divorced man.
An excellent point!
My main reaction was that the very fact that the guy put such a high priority on a restaurant - and is getting so much apparent pleasure out of such a sad spiteful action, says it all in terms of why the marriage failed. I think the ex wife, the ex friend, definitely got the better end of the deal.
You make a great point! But maybe they’re all terrible people and it’s best that their union dissolved before another generation could be brought into their particular mess.
1. I stared at this question for some time. People are amazing at dual-booting their minds. I know sunshine factories with blood feuds from high school, and despair vortexes without an enemy in the world. Vegan thai sounds fascinating, so I’ll cross my fingers and say happy. I’m going to try braising tofu tomorrow.
2. I’ll double my alimony to keep Japan Village. That building (it’s a few spots sharing space in a hip mall) soothes my Weeaboo Heart. To be safe, I may only date people that hate gyudon. Though that might cause the divorce.
3. Fairness and court aren’t related.
4. The vegan’s revealed Giuliani-level principles.
5. My love of red curry and beef have rendered me boring. I feel the judgment around me. I see the waiter mourn another lost soul. I watch the love leave my date’s eyes. I press on.
Good luck with the tofu braising. If it goes sideways, fry it. Defeats any health benefits, but fried is the answer to cooking experiments gone wrong.
It lives! The culinary gods have smiled on me. Or at least punished me less.
lol you actually followed the rules here
Impulse control isn't my specialty.
who knew??!#?🤣🤪
1. I'm not sure retelling his painful story of love loss to a total stranger is a sign that he's happy. Seems to me, he's still working through some stuff.
2. I'm not attached to many food establishments that don't have a close enough second to keep me happy (you know, as happy as one can be when their spouse of nineteen years vanishes), but I would stake out my share of the best local bug squashers, landscapers, plumbers, and people willing to clean up kid vomit without complaining. I've become accustomed to not having to deal with gross shit.
5. If there's any kind of duck on the menu, I'm ordering it. Red or yellow curries all the way. Crispy pad thai. And smother everything in peanut sauce. Can't NOT get a Thai iced tea either.
That Thai iced tea is dangerous for me. Seriously, I don’t know when to say when with that stuff.
Red or yellow curries are my go to order. Yellow if it has sweet potatoes in it.
I was posturing a bit. I'm usually worried the restaurant red curries will be too spicy, so I almost always go yellow. But I make red curry at home. Where I can control my spice level with confidence. 😂
Q: how can you tell if someone is a vegan?
A: you don’t have to. They’ll tell you immediately.
This is very true.
The Lyft driver HAS TO love the restaurant, otherwise he has nothing. If you hadn't eaten the food yourself, his recommendation would be unreliable and worthless. He'll continue to eat there even if the food becomes horrible. The circumstances make his objectivity impossible.
Great story and great questions.
robertsdavidn.substack.com/about
For his sake I just hope the restaurant never closes. It’s all he has n
You can’t trust a vegan about anything food related, especially BBQ. Although there did used to be this Vietnamese vegan restaurant in Oregon that had great BBQ “meat”. Ah, but the Covid closed her down. Sweet Lemon Vegan Bistro.
There’s a vegan Vietnamese place near me that also has great “meat.” I think they made a deal with the devil, and I’m pretty sure I’m a party to that deal since I’m a regular.
Add me to that deal. It has to actually be meat, right?
I was heart broken returning to Portland to find they had shutdown.
I think the deal terms are that we don’t ask what’s in the meat.
#1 The Lyft driver is not happy, but willing to take a conciliation prize.
#2 The burger joint with the best french fries, he wouldn't deserve to eat good fries again.
#3 Sorry, Michael, you will be destroyed.
#4 Carnivores know food like no other human, trust them and their recommendations. Real vegans are sickos and ruin the best pleasure in life...eating.
#5 My preference is Pho, especially on a cold winter day.
Nothing better on a cold winter day than some Pho!
Michael, in this tale of the Lyft driver's 3-ex story about eating food that he seems to be orgasmic about, you've managed to have not so subtle references to both your books.
Did he want them to never be able to eat the food or just never have to run into him when he was eating there? I'd have thought the lawyers would have suggested joint custody of the restaurant. Perhaps odd and even days. And did the final settlement also prohibit the ex's ordering delivery.
It’s a good question I didn’t ask. If I had to guess, I think it was just as important for the Lyft driver to deny his exes the food as it was for him to have it. For a lot of people spite feels like victory.
look here mr.: you know you done good when i resisted pulling at least 4 quotes from this piece and throwing them back up at you but sure enough like the noodles you just ate you don't need to taste them on the way back up and just as surely you are already prowling over the next platter (of imagination? relevant humor?)
part of the reason i like this so much is the Lyft driver (in whom as a recurring character you have invested wisely as a portal to de-coding perhaps once and for all the utter universality of our delightfully absurd existence...i'll leave purpose or meaning of existence to Dobrenko ok?) he reminds me of the times when i flew in an airplane and my seat-mate if game in any way became the receptacle of such rants and flights of fantasy inter-mixed with over-sharing to the point of federal air-marshall type intervention or at the very least a stewardess whispering in my ear "i think she's asleep, you want another vodka?"
i would have LOVED to read your hallmark card addressed to those unfortunates who have caught loved ones screwing the hell out of their best friends in flagrante.....and please do not reply to this with "wow" lmfao
It’s funny that you mention chatting with a seat mate on a plane. It still happens, I think, but there was a time when those conversations felt like the rule, not the exception. I enjoy chatting with strangers, obviously. That’s why I take Lyft. Most drivers do Uber and Lyft, but I’ve heard again and again that the customers are different. If a driver picks up an Uber fare, they usually expect the passenger to ignore them, maybe be on their phone the whole time. But the same driver with a Lyft fare often expects that their passenger is going to want to chat.
chatting with strangers and enjoying it is indeed a gift especially if one is partial to the orientation of other human beings in general in regards to one's own perspective...many shy from it on a variety of levels: innate snobbishness (the judgemental) insecure (fear of self-reveal and need to feel superior) introverted (self-explanatory) or just tactful and sane and aware that 85% of over-sharing can be painfully boring to the point of hanging oneself with one's own belt (i once eyed that as an option during the second act of a play which doesn't really count but there it is...i get bored easily and thus usually sense when i myself am being boring but nonetheless keep going anyways as chip on shoulder obstinacy is another trait lol maybe you can get me Dobrenko's therapist's phone ?? heh)
In therapy sessions (and in life) any time I'm at a loss for words, I tend to go with 'that sounds really hard'..... you'd be surprised how often it gets used, sometimes on repeat. It's multi-purpose, fills the space, shows compassion and leaves the other feeling validated all at the same time. I recommend tucking it in your back pocket 😊
That's great advice, Vicki! That sentence carries so much empathy, but it's also so versatile. You just have to make sure you apply the right tone. If said with snark, it can really backfire.
Haha so true 😆
I don't like Thai food 🤣
But dude, I'm always impressed by your posts. How ever do you remember those conversations so accurately? You must have an amazing memory!
Anyway, fun story, as always 😉
Wait, what?! No Thai food for you, Alex? I wanna say I'm outraged, but this means more Thai food for me, right? Also, thank you! I'm so glad you enjoy these!
Yep. All for you LOL. I'm not big on Asian food in general (it has more to do with how they cook, it's a bit too raw for my taste).
I used to live in North Hollywood and adore Lotus Vegan Thai. A long time ago in San Francisco, an ex boyfriend and I found it helpful to divide which nightclubs we would frequent. Since my recent divorce, I am avoiding the entirety of Reno, Nevada. Charming criminals such as she mean that even a lyft ride could end poorly for me. When a biker threatens deadly force while I am filling annullment papers, I am en guarde in the future.
Hi Andrea! First, always nice to meet someone familiar with the confusing streets of NoHo. Second, I think you're making a good choice to avoid Reno. Stay safe!
The wine store in our neighborhood is mine. However the coffee shop two doors down, which is owned by the same person would be my husband's.
You're making good choices, Kim!
Custody of restaurants? No. But. When I got divorced it was years before I could watch The X-Files again.