I once wrote about a NYC laundry pick up and delivery service. The founders admitted to me that it was all an elaborate plot to collect delivery data on each customer--how long the elevator ride took, etc. Bizarre!
My favorite line in this issue: “Then why is the coffee $5?”
1. I thought the coffee shop scones were decorative, like stock paintings of gambling dogs. Eating one seems like gambling.
2. My inner completionist says to complete the set. And my outer completionist. They complete each other.
3. They’re banking on getting lunch out of the conversation altogether.
4. Definitely a spendthrift, I have one of the most well-documented lives in history. I’m guessing a government outfit, nothing burns like taxpayer money.
5. If I make it Lovecraftiant enough, someone else might leave it alone. Why make it easy? If you want my shopping habits, you’re wading through 4 Terabytes of Sumerian erotic poetry.
Micheal, once again another gem. Any one of us that uses the internet regularly has a certain amount of fear factor as to where and how our data is being used. I even have thought, is this data collecting taking control of my mind, too. Isn't data largely are thoughts searching for more thoughts?
I am such a fan that I am reading Not Safe for Work and enjoying it, so funny. I am about half way through the book and anxious to know the ending. Be well.
Judith, thank you so much for letting me know that you're enjoying Not Safe for Work! I hope you enjoy the rest of the book. And if you're so inclined, please leave a quick review on Amazon. It really helps.
As Heinlein would have said if he were alive today, TANSTAAASL "There Ain't No Such Thing As An Ad Supported Lunch" No company would want to se;ll information about me based on the cheap places where I go for lunch and they wouldn't find a company that would find my information worth enough to pay the cost of the more expensive places I sometimes eat at.
I know, I know: others have called this out already in the comments, but I know what I'm going to be thinking about while I eat my decidedly non-bulgogi-taco meal in a while.
Do you have a Trader Joe’s nearby? They have premade bulgogi that’s decent, kimchi that’s decent, and several good tortilla options. Or, if you have good Korean bbq nearby and can get some tortillas, you’ll be living the dream.
I think the Paul Hollywood Butter Mafia is behind the quality scone embargo in the U.S. and.....elsewhere. I’ve said too much (smashes burner laptop) 👀
Sheila, I enjoy your comments, but you went against the Paul Hollywood mafia, so I fear this might be the end for you. My advice: run! Get a new name. Forgot you ever heard of Paul Hollywood. Forget butter. Forget baked goods. Go gluten free.
This is 100% accurate and you may want to go easy on the creamer. Your LDL was looking a bit off that morning.
That barista needs a medal for patience.
As always, your post has made me smile, Michael. Thanks for the time you spend talking to people and sharing with us.
Shared to LinkedIn. Now, do you have to kill me?
Nope. No danger in sharing this. In fact, I owe you a thank you! So, thank you, Deborah!
I once wrote about a NYC laundry pick up and delivery service. The founders admitted to me that it was all an elaborate plot to collect delivery data on each customer--how long the elevator ride took, etc. Bizarre!
My favorite line in this issue: “Then why is the coffee $5?”
When people say things like "data is the new oil," these kinds of plots (I mean business models) become commonplace.
You are a great story teller. Excellent read 💯
You win substack today.
Thank you, Neil!
Welcome mate
Inordinately funny. You outdo yourself, sir!
Thank you, sir!
I love your writing. Thank you
Thank you, Alexandra! Really appreciate you saying that!
With all that intrigue -- and who doesn’t enjoy a big data conspiracy theory -- did you actually get your coffee?
I did get my coffee. It was OK.
You know, this would make for some damn fine fiction. Each donut and coffee going for 1 terabyte of data.
Please, please, tell me that this happened, because that's the type of coffee shop I'd visit. The waitress is drop dead sexy.
I was laughing the whole time I read it. It's getting shared and restacked, sir.
Thanks for the Restack, Joseph!
1. I thought the coffee shop scones were decorative, like stock paintings of gambling dogs. Eating one seems like gambling.
2. My inner completionist says to complete the set. And my outer completionist. They complete each other.
3. They’re banking on getting lunch out of the conversation altogether.
4. Definitely a spendthrift, I have one of the most well-documented lives in history. I’m guessing a government outfit, nothing burns like taxpayer money.
5. If I make it Lovecraftiant enough, someone else might leave it alone. Why make it easy? If you want my shopping habits, you’re wading through 4 Terabytes of Sumerian erotic poetry.
I've gambled on coffee shop scones and lost. It's a problem. I need help.
A pastry warrior. Coffee shops are the only place a macaron has betrayed me, so my heart is sour.
Micheal, once again another gem. Any one of us that uses the internet regularly has a certain amount of fear factor as to where and how our data is being used. I even have thought, is this data collecting taking control of my mind, too. Isn't data largely are thoughts searching for more thoughts?
I am such a fan that I am reading Not Safe for Work and enjoying it, so funny. I am about half way through the book and anxious to know the ending. Be well.
Judith, thank you so much for letting me know that you're enjoying Not Safe for Work! I hope you enjoy the rest of the book. And if you're so inclined, please leave a quick review on Amazon. It really helps.
As Heinlein would have said if he were alive today, TANSTAAASL "There Ain't No Such Thing As An Ad Supported Lunch" No company would want to se;ll information about me based on the cheap places where I go for lunch and they wouldn't find a company that would find my information worth enough to pay the cost of the more expensive places I sometimes eat at.
I’ll show you my data if you show me yours ;)
That’s what I told Google.
Bulgogi tacos.
I know, I know: others have called this out already in the comments, but I know what I'm going to be thinking about while I eat my decidedly non-bulgogi-taco meal in a while.
Do you have a Trader Joe’s nearby? They have premade bulgogi that’s decent, kimchi that’s decent, and several good tortilla options. Or, if you have good Korean bbq nearby and can get some tortillas, you’ll be living the dream.
I wanna find some fresh tortillas from a street vendor! I'm spoiled.
But yeah, may cook something similar at home. There's a bulgogi sauce pack that's not bad at one of our local grocery stores.
We do have Trader Joe's, too.
I think the Paul Hollywood Butter Mafia is behind the quality scone embargo in the U.S. and.....elsewhere. I’ve said too much (smashes burner laptop) 👀
Sheila, I enjoy your comments, but you went against the Paul Hollywood mafia, so I fear this might be the end for you. My advice: run! Get a new name. Forgot you ever heard of Paul Hollywood. Forget butter. Forget baked goods. Go gluten free.
Who dis? Mary Berry send you?! YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE OR GLUTEN FREE!!!!!!
Safety first. Keep your bread knife handy.
If you ever get tired of having your data harvested, let's talk organs. I'll make you an offer you can't refuse....
Sorry, Michael, I don’t have the heart for that conversation.
Yet you have the stomach for that joke. Are you kidneying me?
I knew the joke was risky, but I figured I’d dip my toe in those waters.
Eye gotta walk away before eye say something eye I regret.
Better to save face.