If you don’t have business cards that say “Michael Estrin: better an a priest” you’re doing it wrong. Although to be fair, Alice only said you’re better than her priest. She could just have a really bad one.
1: Triscuits are only good as a dip delivery vehicle. The crackers have a good size and since there’s a lot of texture to them, your dip of choice won’t side off. If you’re just eating plain triscuits, you’re probably a serial killer.
2: I gave up Catholicism years ago, despite my parents best efforts to make it stick.
3: I think the people who say audiobooks are cheating think that reading a book is a more active activity. You’re sitting there, you have to pay attention, you’re turning pages. If you’ve got an audiobook you can just press play and listen as much or as little as you like. It can be a passive activity. I don’t buy this, people should enjoy books in whatever format they like.
Hi Michael! Another stellar issue. I'm beginning to think you have tremendous luck stumbling into these ready-made stories. Or have a rare skill in turning routine, benign encounters into wonderful, hilarious tales. (Mad respect for the latter, I know how hard it is to do that. I tear my hair out every time I write a newsletter issue.)
1. haven't had one in decades, but my memory was how salty they were, and that's why I liked them.
2. I'm at an age where I have already given up so much I will be damned if I will give up one more thing.
3, Besides the fact that recently I made more on my sales of audiobooks than either print or ebooks, I have also started doing almost all my own recreational reading that way. I used to say I would save them for when I was old and blind, but turns out, old and to busy writing to take time just sitting and reading a book is a thing. Audiobooks while cleaning, making meals, and walking, gets me nearly 2 hours of recreational reading time a day and I love it!
4 and 5, completely out of my wheelhouse but fun to read about.
"You got a way of reframing things. I like that. My friend wanted me to give up audiobooks for Lent. Because of all the sex scenes. I like it spicy. But I also like learning about history. Is that wrong?”
“No. It’s great. If people didn’t have sex, history would be a very short story"
(1) Triscuits are only good if you're very, very stoned. And even then, they're not that good.
(2) Nothing. Nada. The only time I gave up anything was my last year at university when - for some reason long lost to history - I gave up chocolate. And then proceeded to stay at a friend's house in Annapolis on the way to a wedding in Long Island (that's a completely different story) who's mother had made the most gorgeous cake. Well, being a guest and all, I ate a piece (I think my Lenten deprivation asted three days). It was OK, though, because she died a few weeks later - and I consoled myself by thinking: well, at least she knew I liked her cake.
(3) They're dicks, obviously.
(4) Acid flashbacks are not cheating. They're just peaks amongst the troughs that compose our long, strange trip. Why on earth would any hallucination be considered cheating? That's just ... mad.
(5) Mix those Velveeta 'cheese' cops with a bottle of salsa, pop that bad boy into a microwave, melt and mix. And then scoop the bloody looking mixture up with some cheap-ass tortilla chips while downing bottles of Dos Equis - but between each scoop and drink, ask your heart: 'Are you feeling lucky?'
As for giving up acid for Lent, well that begs a few questions. But I would strongly suggest ending that period of deprivation by taking acid on Easter and proceeding to attend a graveyard sunrise service. Puts it ALL into perspective.
That made my day! I hope you find out if the loans are forgiven.
If you don’t have business cards that say “Michael Estrin: better an a priest” you’re doing it wrong. Although to be fair, Alice only said you’re better than her priest. She could just have a really bad one.
1: Triscuits are only good as a dip delivery vehicle. The crackers have a good size and since there’s a lot of texture to them, your dip of choice won’t side off. If you’re just eating plain triscuits, you’re probably a serial killer.
2: I gave up Catholicism years ago, despite my parents best efforts to make it stick.
3: I think the people who say audiobooks are cheating think that reading a book is a more active activity. You’re sitting there, you have to pay attention, you’re turning pages. If you’ve got an audiobook you can just press play and listen as much or as little as you like. It can be a passive activity. I don’t buy this, people should enjoy books in whatever format they like.
Hi Michael! Another stellar issue. I'm beginning to think you have tremendous luck stumbling into these ready-made stories. Or have a rare skill in turning routine, benign encounters into wonderful, hilarious tales. (Mad respect for the latter, I know how hard it is to do that. I tear my hair out every time I write a newsletter issue.)
Either way, please keep them coming!
I love this. I love that something that was 90% dialogue managed to keep me from beginning to end. I hope Alice’s debts were wiped.
1. Triscuits, like matzo, are cardboard. I like them both because of the texture.
2. Congrats, Miracle Max, on potentially erasing another person's debt. You're a good man.
3. Audiobooks are books. That's why the libraries offer them.
4. Does it hurt when you get a haircut? Some people hate the sensation.
1. haven't had one in decades, but my memory was how salty they were, and that's why I liked them.
2. I'm at an age where I have already given up so much I will be damned if I will give up one more thing.
3, Besides the fact that recently I made more on my sales of audiobooks than either print or ebooks, I have also started doing almost all my own recreational reading that way. I used to say I would save them for when I was old and blind, but turns out, old and to busy writing to take time just sitting and reading a book is a thing. Audiobooks while cleaning, making meals, and walking, gets me nearly 2 hours of recreational reading time a day and I love it!
4 and 5, completely out of my wheelhouse but fun to read about.
I really hope it works out for her!
I like Triscuits (especially with cheddar) but I'm also one of those weirdos who likes Grape Nuts (since I was a kid!) so you can't go by me.
Great conversation! I hope you save her $30K, that’d be wonderful. I was imagining Alice as Natasha Lyonne.
I gave up cold turkey for Lent. . .I kinda’ miss it.
Forgot… poor Mortimer!!!
Thank you! Love it!
Cardboard with a ton of preservatives.
I gave up religion.
I love my books in paper but audio is better than nothing.
Blue cheese….
Enjoyed this writing so much!
PS-I have saved this very clever snippet:
"You got a way of reframing things. I like that. My friend wanted me to give up audiobooks for Lent. Because of all the sex scenes. I like it spicy. But I also like learning about history. Is that wrong?”
“No. It’s great. If people didn’t have sex, history would be a very short story"
Dern! I SO SURE you had a free haircut coming!
And I’m sorry but Triscuits are delicious. One of the very top crackers. And I really like crackers!
My wife gave up boba tea for lent. I gave up asking her to buy me some.
I personally prefer reading books, I find that I can't focus on the book if I'm listening and physically doing something else at the same time.
I don't get the audiobooks hatred though, people can read books while doing handstands for all I care, you do you boo.
So, in response to the questions:
(1) Triscuits are only good if you're very, very stoned. And even then, they're not that good.
(2) Nothing. Nada. The only time I gave up anything was my last year at university when - for some reason long lost to history - I gave up chocolate. And then proceeded to stay at a friend's house in Annapolis on the way to a wedding in Long Island (that's a completely different story) who's mother had made the most gorgeous cake. Well, being a guest and all, I ate a piece (I think my Lenten deprivation asted three days). It was OK, though, because she died a few weeks later - and I consoled myself by thinking: well, at least she knew I liked her cake.
(3) They're dicks, obviously.
(4) Acid flashbacks are not cheating. They're just peaks amongst the troughs that compose our long, strange trip. Why on earth would any hallucination be considered cheating? That's just ... mad.
(5) Mix those Velveeta 'cheese' cops with a bottle of salsa, pop that bad boy into a microwave, melt and mix. And then scoop the bloody looking mixture up with some cheap-ass tortilla chips while downing bottles of Dos Equis - but between each scoop and drink, ask your heart: 'Are you feeling lucky?'
As for giving up acid for Lent, well that begs a few questions. But I would strongly suggest ending that period of deprivation by taking acid on Easter and proceeding to attend a graveyard sunrise service. Puts it ALL into perspective.
Great story, Michael. Miracles come in different forms...
I've no idea what Triscuits are. Sounds like they should be approached with a good deal of scepticism.