I agree, what we in the US call soccer should really be “football.” What we call football should be called “hacky sack,” as in hack-down and sack the opposing team. And hacky sack should be called “soccer,” as in “sock that bean bag over here.”
I grew up as a Bears fan, with our family going to all the home games. But, over the years I became an NFL heretic because I found watching games on TV had too many distractions and wasn't the same as sitting in freezing weather to watch football the way it was meant to be seen. Now, Sunday afternoons are for the LA Times crossword puzzle and doing laundry.
At the risk of sounding un-American, I do not understand, watch or like football. But I loved this whole essay! You made this old woman laugh for 10 minutes - and that is a rare gift. I loved the Autum Wind video, and the standout line for me was ".... He had been promised booty and blood, but he settled for a piece of string cheese and a belly rub." That just cracked me up. Thanks Michael, for excellence, as always. You never fail.
A suggestion for changing the name of American football would be Fall-ball, as it primarily is played in the fall and the result of practically every play is that all the players fall down.
There's something to this suggestion, Gary! Although one of these days I think an upstart league will make spring football happen. But I like Fall Ball.
I confess I've fallen off little in last 2 years w HK (tho yr great post prob means I'll watch some tonite) but imho if you look at their Falcons Hard Knocks season thru at least their Texans Hard Knocks (w deep dives back into archives for Bengals & Cowboys seasons) their cinematography & use of sound is as inventive as best eps of Breaking Bad & like a masterclass in documentary storytelling (I'm only raving like a lunatic rn bcuz you're the only person I've ever heard even mention the show & so got excited!)
Michael, I have been thinking about this since this morning, amidst packing up books for Zac and Dylan. While $400 seems like a lot to pay, it's better than season tickets, tickets to away games, travel and lodging. I can see Christina asking for as much of that as she thinks she can get away with.
2. This will make me sound impossibly dull, but Sunday goes to my doomed language and fitness efforts, and whatever game has my eye. Essentially RPG XP grinding, broken up by RPG XP grinding.
3. The new boss seems way more expensive than the old boss.
4. On first dates, my appreciation of sports generally mutates to match whoever's on the other side of the table. It's probably a huge character flaw.
5. Does "American Gladiators" still have the rights on the name locked? If so, Goodell should open up his wallet.
6. I enjoy doomed Ahab quests, so I'll miss his recalcitrance.
Not sure about the rights to American Gladiators. On the one hand it’s a brilliant idea because it’s visceral and true. On the other hand, litigation. Also, the American in American Gladiators kinda gives up the ghost in the NFL’s quixotic quest to make American style football a global sport. International Gladiators Who Knowingly Assumed the Risk just doesn’t have the same ring to it.
Let's give "International Gladiators Who Knowingly Assumed the Risk" a shot. If my manga habit has taught me anything, there's an audience waiting for bloated and seemingly niche titles.
Being from New England I am geocontracturally obligated to say something about Tom Brady, aka the talking chin dimple. But like my traitorous colonial predecessors, I will resist. Though I can say that the grandest Super Bowl Sunday I ever spent was one of the last times the Patriots played and I skipped the seven-layer-dip & casual sports sexism to attend a one-woman feminist show of songs/stories kind of thing. Good luck in your high holy season!
I really admire your Super Bowl Sunday entertainment choice. Bean dip and sexism are a hard pass, but hell yes to a one-woman feminist show! Also, the talking dimple does not love New England. New England loves the talking dimple, but your New England credibility does not require a defense of the talking dimple. It requires only a defense of Dunkin’, thick accents, goofy blue laws, cheap lobster, and grinders.
Phew! Thanks Michael! I'm so happy to have a cross country ally. My partner is not a sports ball person either and it can be tough around here: What's a Nomar? Gretsky, who? Larry Bird--THAT, good sir, is a completely made up name! "C'mon!" -Gob Bluth. On the latter NE items, add in a Wahlburger and I am more than happy to die on those hills (which can only be accessed via toll road, which is also always under construction).
There’s a special joy I feel when I hear someone with a Boston accent say “Nomar.” Was he perfect player? No. But he did have a perfect name for a New England sports ball hero. Also, I gotta try Whalburger one of these days.
Agreed. It is still very satisfying to walk down a street keening, “Nooommaaahhhhhhhhhhhh.” It’s one of our many mating calls. I haven’t been able to get me some quarter pounder wahlburger as the closest one to us is.....in the airport! Maybe that’s just the night out we need. “Meet me in Terminal 22F baby...” 🥸
I’ve heard of people flying to LA for In N Out Burger, so by comparison a trip to the airport just to eat in the terminal without flying anywhere strikes me as perfectly normal.
The Raiders team song is EPIC! I had no idea an NFL team song could be so cool, especially after growing up with the Dolphins song as our rally cry. 🤣 LMAO
A memory is having the radio and headphones on for Raider pregame heading out of the Coliseum BART station to head to a playoff game. The Autumn Wind comes on and literal chills as John Facenda read the poem over the horns.
As a Red-Blooded Former-Red-Meat-Eating REAL AMERICAN, I feel it is my patriotic duty ... nay, obligation! ... to allow myself to be financially exploited by multinational corporations. USA! USA! USA! and all that. [I’ll be back for the rest of my response after I rise and remove my hat for the National Anthem ... 🎼🎵🎶🎶 🇺🇸 and my wallet so I can see all the games ...]
As I was saying ... ewwww ... be careful what we wish for, I guess. It seems like we’re losing those awful monopolistic cable companies for something much, much grosser and confusing and (USA! USA! USA! 🇺🇸) wicked expensive. Fortunately, I live in the media market of my chosen home team ... except for those rare occasions when FOX or CBS occasionally thinks someone in northern New Hampshire (watching via Burlington Vermont) is in the New York media market ... so typically it’s easy enough to root-root-root for the home team. Unless the game is on YouTube+ or Prime or some other streaming service that we may or may not have and ... but I love my country, corporate America, the shield, and Roger Goodell in equal measure, so by Jiminy, I’ll figure it out ... mostly ... and pay for some it ... and probably slowly lose interest in the whole mess over the next decade.
I’m pretty up front about my sports contradictions ... so I don’t need to sports-lie. Yes, I hate the New York Yankees with every fiber of my being, but I do own a Thurman Munson jersey, respect Mariano Rivera, like Bernie Williams, and think Aaron Judge seems like a fine young fellow (but wishes an 0-fer on him whenever we play).
But ... the Raiders ...
As you’ve probably already discerned ... I’m a New England guy through and through ... (Go Sawx! Whoo hoo Tawmmy!) ... and I hope I have remained reasonably levelheaded throughout almost half a century (owwwwww ... that hurt to type) of fandom. But ... the Raiders ...
My first memory of really caring about a game was the AFC Divisional Playoff in 1976 ... Patriots-Raiders ... the Ben Dreith game. Even Kenny Stabler later said it didn’t seem like roughing the passer to him. The Tuck Rule? Well ... first, it was the correct interpretation of a really, really, really dumb rule ... but most Pats fans of a certain age saw it as a cosmic balancing of the karmic scales twenty five years after the fact. So, I got off to a bad start with Oakland. And then two years later ... Jack Tatum and Daryl Stingley ... I wouldn’t wish any stupid-fan-cosmic-balancing on anyone after that one ... but no ... there’s no love lost between me and the Oakland Raiders. (Super Bowl XXXVII ... teeheeheehee and all that.). Yet ... only a couple of years later, Jim Plunkett lead the Raiders to the promised land ... and ... here came one of those contradictions ... how was I to root for Jim yet root against Oakland. I rooted for Plunkett, who happened to be wearing the silver and gold. It was a confusing time. Then, five years later, New England took it to the Los Angeles (still seems odd to say/think/type) Raiders on the road with an upset victory (and eventual AFC title ... but I don’t seem to recall what happened after that) ... where Patriots fans were treated to not just a win over the hated Raiders, but the bonus of Raider Matt Millen slugging Patriots GM Patrick Sullivan, who was behaving like a petulant child on the sidelines, after the game (it is a miracle football in New England survived 30 years of Sullivan family ownership). So ... yeah ... the Raiders ... there’s a lot to unpack.
As for rooting for the Pats (and Tawmmy ... and the Sawx) over most of the last two decades ... it certainly was a lot different compared to the first couple of decades ... and I put in a fair amount of effort to try and get my kids to at least kinda-sorta see it without succumbing to [cue Grandpa Simpson voice] “back in my day ...” stuff. Early in the run ... probably just after New England had won number three, and the Sawx had reversed the curse ... Bob Ryan wrote in the Boston Globe ... “these *are* the good ol’ days.” I really embraced that idea ... and reminded the kids ... it’s not going to always be like this. (And over the past few post-Brady, post-Mookie seasons I’ve said to them, “Remember what I said about the good ol’ days?” and they nod knowingly.
Naturally, we rooted for Tawmmy and Gronk in Tampa ... and we’re rooting for Mookie in LA ... so, no, I wasn’t happy to see Brady ride into the sunset ... but looking at NFL history, I suspected it wouldn’t end pretty in New England. With the exception of John Elway (and maybe-kinda Manning in Denver, too) it usually didn’t for the greats. Was it becoming odd with Brady near the end with the Favre-ian retirement-unretirement stuff ... but he brought New England fans so much happiness (and yeah, some in the fan base became insufferable) that I really did wish he either would have retired after the win in Tampa (but, why? He still had it), or that he’d have his one more shot to ride off into the sunset ala John Elway in Super Bowl XXXIII ... alas ... it was not to be.
*Whew*
If anyone has made it this far ... thanks for indulging me and my utterly long winded reply. Go team, whoever yours happens to be (and yeah, I’m conflicted with McDaniels coaching in Las Vegas. Go Josh?!!) 🏈
Tim, I want to frame this comment! It’s perfect. Also, as someone who went to college in Connecticut, where the broadcast signals from New York and Boston go to die, I feel the pain of your remark about the Empire State media juggernaut inexplicably intruding on the good people of New England.
Yes, the streamers have the upper hand at the moment. I was trying to feed my wife’s need for her Ole Miss whatever they are at the moment and found that some weeks they are on ESPN and some weeks they are on some other network with a qualifier on ESPN which might or might not be available on the same streaming service. Can I get the necessary ESPN version in the cheaper Fubo or do I have to pay for the premium gold plated Fubo? Ah, I’ll just conspire to plan grandkid outings on Saturdays until December.
Not into any organized religion, so American Football isn’t in my heart.
Previously we only had one company trying to drain our wallet. Now we have a bunch of tech bros to keep in coffee and Burning Man trips. None of them have a Customer Loyalty Department that you can call up to threaten to cut their wire so they drop your monthly tithe for 12 months.
I tell a lie every time someone starts extolling the wonderful team they spend hours watching each week. Oh, I really care about Your American Football. Maybe the idea to start calling it Hacky Sack will give me enough joy to engage with them.
I love Raider Hacky Sack! It’s the only religion worth worshipping!
Raider Hacky Sack for the win! I think the fancy Fubo is your only reliable option for your Ole Miss problem, but at that price you basically become a Fubo loyalist for the season, which is fine, unless you want to watch something else.
Yes, the fancy Fubo was what I used last year. During the Super Bowl I cancelled Fubo. Maybe this year I’ll take her to a bar for the Super Bowl. She loves yelling at the TV during Hacky Sack games for some reason that escapes me.
Maybe I had such horrible experiences and was so bad at playing Hacky Sack during 6th through 10th grade is why I don’t care for American Football. Or maybe I was so bad at it because I didn’t enjoy it. Who knows, I don’t care now.
Just to touch on the streaming question you posed: one thing that has helped us a ton (we don't watch sports, so this won't work for all circumstances) is to rotate through the streamers. So we'll have Disney plus for a few months, watch everything, then drop it, and watch everything on Apple, etc.
Our total bill is a lot cheaper than cable, and we watch what we want, when we want it (except new releases, which I really don't care about anyway).
Not sure if this hack is extremely obvious; if so, please disregard, but it is working well for us.
Thanks Andrew! Churn and return is always an option for the streamers themselves. But sports packages are seasonal, so you either buy the season or you don’t. It’s a racket.
It’s not mine. I stole it from the streamers who have begun using that turn in their quarterly reports to apologize to the gods of Wall Street for their failures.
1. I mean, isn't that the definition of capitalism?
2. I'm a former Dolphins turned Steelers zealot who's now a heretic. I would spend my lovely fall Sundays in nature, but my wife found religion late in life via the Chiefs.
3. Yes, this is something I started to pick up on around 2017. Once you had to bundle a bunch of streaming services together that was the same as....cable. There's no hope here, other than just abandoning TV altogether. But then what would you do? Read a book? Ludicrous.
4. I was planning to call you on Eric Dickerson. Everyone loves Eric Dickerson.
5. The game where nobody understands the rules and yells about them anyway.
6. Yes! I went to Michigan at the same time as TB12 and, in theory, I should be a fan. But he's just so exhausting. For half my life he fancy-dogged his way to championships for America's least grateful fan base.
Pro tip: search "NFL coverage map" in your internet browser and you'll get a link to 506 sports. There you can look at the broadcast map for your city and know which games will be available. Normally the map is updated on Wednesdays.
TV is hopeless in every sense of the word. The really sad thing is I could’ve written a similar post about watching the Dodgers, only my problem there is that I’m an in-market cord-cutter. Because I’m local, black rules render an MLB TV subscription useless, unless I use a VPN.
I've been a Jets fan since RIGHT AFTER they won their only Super Bowl in 1969. That's over fifty years of lost dreams. So i was both devastated and unsurprised when Aaron went down immediately with an injury. When you're cursed for so long, you become used to disaster.
But yes it was a glorious victory last week.
As for the Raiders, I've always thought they were the bad boys of the NFL. So, it seemed inevitable that they'd wind up in Vegas, just as it was inevitable that Stephen King would use Vegas as the setting for the evil tribe in his novel The Stand.
And yes of course I agree that how you root for your team affects the outcome. My son, then nine, still takes responsibility for being overconfident at halftime when the Jets were leading the Broncos in the 1999 AFC Championships 3-0.
Tell your son the lord of the pigskin saw his failure against the Broncos in 1999, took retribution in the form of Aaron Rodger’s ACL, and now forgives him. Also, you’re not alone in your feelings about Raider Nation. We are football fans in search of a RICO indictment.
You have the sickness... the curse... the damnation to be a Raider Fan. Personally, I don't know what kind of voodoo drink I consumed during the 1984 Super Bowl, but the moment that Marcus Allen reversed his field in the backfield and sprinted through the Washington R******* defense, I accepted my fate and have never looked back. Growing up three hours from the LA Coliseum, the first game I attended was Bo Jackson powering through the Washington R******* defense on a 90-yard touchdown run. As I moved to the Bay Area, I endured Jeff Hostetler and Jeff George. I was there (and quite drunk) for the loss to the Ravens in the AFC Championship Game, then wore black during the loss to Chucky's Buccaneers. Then there were the decades in malaise. Aaron Brooks and JaMarcus Russell. Gradkowski and Pryor. Then Carr took them to the playoffs, only to break his leg. A trade, a move and for the past four seasons, I've watched them from afar, like the first love you stalk on Facebook. This season, my 17-year-old daughter has shown an interest in football, and I can't let her become a Niners fan. So, I let her watch Joe Burrow, and watch the Raiders again with me. But the pain endures. The Autumn Wind is a Pirate, plundering your soul but in a way that makes you buy into the mystique. I wish I could just push them away, but they're always there and always be part of me. After all, you can't denounce your nation and I'm forever part of the Raider Nation, so help me!
I once wore my Raiders hat into the Thousand Oaks El Torito. The host there was a 49ers fan and he would not shut up about my hat. It was annoying. (That restaurant closed down soon after.) But you’re right. It was better being a football fan in L.A. when there was no football team. The Rams broke my spirit when I was ten and I vowed never to root for them again. I have kept that vow.
I agree, what we in the US call soccer should really be “football.” What we call football should be called “hacky sack,” as in hack-down and sack the opposing team. And hacky sack should be called “soccer,” as in “sock that bean bag over here.”
Your answer is a real feat! It somehow manages to solve everything AND make everything more confusing. Well done!
I grew up as a Bears fan, with our family going to all the home games. But, over the years I became an NFL heretic because I found watching games on TV had too many distractions and wasn't the same as sitting in freezing weather to watch football the way it was meant to be seen. Now, Sunday afternoons are for the LA Times crossword puzzle and doing laundry.
You’re making good choices. But after our recent hurricane maybe you’ll get lucky and catch a blizzard at SoFi.
At the risk of sounding un-American, I do not understand, watch or like football. But I loved this whole essay! You made this old woman laugh for 10 minutes - and that is a rare gift. I loved the Autum Wind video, and the standout line for me was ".... He had been promised booty and blood, but he settled for a piece of string cheese and a belly rub." That just cracked me up. Thanks Michael, for excellence, as always. You never fail.
Thank you, Sharron! I was worried that this one would turn off people who aren’t football fans, so your comment is much appreciated!
A suggestion for changing the name of American football would be Fall-ball, as it primarily is played in the fall and the result of practically every play is that all the players fall down.
There's something to this suggestion, Gary! Although one of these days I think an upstart league will make spring football happen. But I like Fall Ball.
Hard Knocks is art
Indeed! I’m always impressed by their commitment to quality on a deadline. It could easily become content marketing, but Hard Knocks always elevates.
I confess I've fallen off little in last 2 years w HK (tho yr great post prob means I'll watch some tonite) but imho if you look at their Falcons Hard Knocks season thru at least their Texans Hard Knocks (w deep dives back into archives for Bengals & Cowboys seasons) their cinematography & use of sound is as inventive as best eps of Breaking Bad & like a masterclass in documentary storytelling (I'm only raving like a lunatic rn bcuz you're the only person I've ever heard even mention the show & so got excited!)
Michael, I have been thinking about this since this morning, amidst packing up books for Zac and Dylan. While $400 seems like a lot to pay, it's better than season tickets, tickets to away games, travel and lodging. I can see Christina asking for as much of that as she thinks she can get away with.
Good point! It’s not about the cost, it’s about the savings!
1. I like lightsabers. And pain, evidently.
2. This will make me sound impossibly dull, but Sunday goes to my doomed language and fitness efforts, and whatever game has my eye. Essentially RPG XP grinding, broken up by RPG XP grinding.
3. The new boss seems way more expensive than the old boss.
4. On first dates, my appreciation of sports generally mutates to match whoever's on the other side of the table. It's probably a huge character flaw.
5. Does "American Gladiators" still have the rights on the name locked? If so, Goodell should open up his wallet.
6. I enjoy doomed Ahab quests, so I'll miss his recalcitrance.
Not sure about the rights to American Gladiators. On the one hand it’s a brilliant idea because it’s visceral and true. On the other hand, litigation. Also, the American in American Gladiators kinda gives up the ghost in the NFL’s quixotic quest to make American style football a global sport. International Gladiators Who Knowingly Assumed the Risk just doesn’t have the same ring to it.
Let's give "International Gladiators Who Knowingly Assumed the Risk" a shot. If my manga habit has taught me anything, there's an audience waiting for bloated and seemingly niche titles.
I’ll set a meeting with Goodell’s office. We’ll need a great deck and some Don Draper magic, but I think we can sell them on a rebrand.
Being from New England I am geocontracturally obligated to say something about Tom Brady, aka the talking chin dimple. But like my traitorous colonial predecessors, I will resist. Though I can say that the grandest Super Bowl Sunday I ever spent was one of the last times the Patriots played and I skipped the seven-layer-dip & casual sports sexism to attend a one-woman feminist show of songs/stories kind of thing. Good luck in your high holy season!
I really admire your Super Bowl Sunday entertainment choice. Bean dip and sexism are a hard pass, but hell yes to a one-woman feminist show! Also, the talking dimple does not love New England. New England loves the talking dimple, but your New England credibility does not require a defense of the talking dimple. It requires only a defense of Dunkin’, thick accents, goofy blue laws, cheap lobster, and grinders.
Phew! Thanks Michael! I'm so happy to have a cross country ally. My partner is not a sports ball person either and it can be tough around here: What's a Nomar? Gretsky, who? Larry Bird--THAT, good sir, is a completely made up name! "C'mon!" -Gob Bluth. On the latter NE items, add in a Wahlburger and I am more than happy to die on those hills (which can only be accessed via toll road, which is also always under construction).
There’s a special joy I feel when I hear someone with a Boston accent say “Nomar.” Was he perfect player? No. But he did have a perfect name for a New England sports ball hero. Also, I gotta try Whalburger one of these days.
Agreed. It is still very satisfying to walk down a street keening, “Nooommaaahhhhhhhhhhhh.” It’s one of our many mating calls. I haven’t been able to get me some quarter pounder wahlburger as the closest one to us is.....in the airport! Maybe that’s just the night out we need. “Meet me in Terminal 22F baby...” 🥸
I’ve heard of people flying to LA for In N Out Burger, so by comparison a trip to the airport just to eat in the terminal without flying anywhere strikes me as perfectly normal.
I am sooooooo LA! (Did I do that right? When can I expect my residual check?)
The Raiders team song is EPIC! I had no idea an NFL team song could be so cool, especially after growing up with the Dolphins song as our rally cry. 🤣 LMAO
It is an epic song, isn’t it? The media made in support of the NFL, especially the stuff by NFL Films, really is good stuff.
A memory is having the radio and headphones on for Raider pregame heading out of the Coliseum BART station to head to a playoff game. The Autumn Wind comes on and literal chills as John Facenda read the poem over the horns.
As a Red-Blooded Former-Red-Meat-Eating REAL AMERICAN, I feel it is my patriotic duty ... nay, obligation! ... to allow myself to be financially exploited by multinational corporations. USA! USA! USA! and all that. [I’ll be back for the rest of my response after I rise and remove my hat for the National Anthem ... 🎼🎵🎶🎶 🇺🇸 and my wallet so I can see all the games ...]
As I was saying ... ewwww ... be careful what we wish for, I guess. It seems like we’re losing those awful monopolistic cable companies for something much, much grosser and confusing and (USA! USA! USA! 🇺🇸) wicked expensive. Fortunately, I live in the media market of my chosen home team ... except for those rare occasions when FOX or CBS occasionally thinks someone in northern New Hampshire (watching via Burlington Vermont) is in the New York media market ... so typically it’s easy enough to root-root-root for the home team. Unless the game is on YouTube+ or Prime or some other streaming service that we may or may not have and ... but I love my country, corporate America, the shield, and Roger Goodell in equal measure, so by Jiminy, I’ll figure it out ... mostly ... and pay for some it ... and probably slowly lose interest in the whole mess over the next decade.
I’m pretty up front about my sports contradictions ... so I don’t need to sports-lie. Yes, I hate the New York Yankees with every fiber of my being, but I do own a Thurman Munson jersey, respect Mariano Rivera, like Bernie Williams, and think Aaron Judge seems like a fine young fellow (but wishes an 0-fer on him whenever we play).
But ... the Raiders ...
As you’ve probably already discerned ... I’m a New England guy through and through ... (Go Sawx! Whoo hoo Tawmmy!) ... and I hope I have remained reasonably levelheaded throughout almost half a century (owwwwww ... that hurt to type) of fandom. But ... the Raiders ...
My first memory of really caring about a game was the AFC Divisional Playoff in 1976 ... Patriots-Raiders ... the Ben Dreith game. Even Kenny Stabler later said it didn’t seem like roughing the passer to him. The Tuck Rule? Well ... first, it was the correct interpretation of a really, really, really dumb rule ... but most Pats fans of a certain age saw it as a cosmic balancing of the karmic scales twenty five years after the fact. So, I got off to a bad start with Oakland. And then two years later ... Jack Tatum and Daryl Stingley ... I wouldn’t wish any stupid-fan-cosmic-balancing on anyone after that one ... but no ... there’s no love lost between me and the Oakland Raiders. (Super Bowl XXXVII ... teeheeheehee and all that.). Yet ... only a couple of years later, Jim Plunkett lead the Raiders to the promised land ... and ... here came one of those contradictions ... how was I to root for Jim yet root against Oakland. I rooted for Plunkett, who happened to be wearing the silver and gold. It was a confusing time. Then, five years later, New England took it to the Los Angeles (still seems odd to say/think/type) Raiders on the road with an upset victory (and eventual AFC title ... but I don’t seem to recall what happened after that) ... where Patriots fans were treated to not just a win over the hated Raiders, but the bonus of Raider Matt Millen slugging Patriots GM Patrick Sullivan, who was behaving like a petulant child on the sidelines, after the game (it is a miracle football in New England survived 30 years of Sullivan family ownership). So ... yeah ... the Raiders ... there’s a lot to unpack.
As for rooting for the Pats (and Tawmmy ... and the Sawx) over most of the last two decades ... it certainly was a lot different compared to the first couple of decades ... and I put in a fair amount of effort to try and get my kids to at least kinda-sorta see it without succumbing to [cue Grandpa Simpson voice] “back in my day ...” stuff. Early in the run ... probably just after New England had won number three, and the Sawx had reversed the curse ... Bob Ryan wrote in the Boston Globe ... “these *are* the good ol’ days.” I really embraced that idea ... and reminded the kids ... it’s not going to always be like this. (And over the past few post-Brady, post-Mookie seasons I’ve said to them, “Remember what I said about the good ol’ days?” and they nod knowingly.
Naturally, we rooted for Tawmmy and Gronk in Tampa ... and we’re rooting for Mookie in LA ... so, no, I wasn’t happy to see Brady ride into the sunset ... but looking at NFL history, I suspected it wouldn’t end pretty in New England. With the exception of John Elway (and maybe-kinda Manning in Denver, too) it usually didn’t for the greats. Was it becoming odd with Brady near the end with the Favre-ian retirement-unretirement stuff ... but he brought New England fans so much happiness (and yeah, some in the fan base became insufferable) that I really did wish he either would have retired after the win in Tampa (but, why? He still had it), or that he’d have his one more shot to ride off into the sunset ala John Elway in Super Bowl XXXIII ... alas ... it was not to be.
*Whew*
If anyone has made it this far ... thanks for indulging me and my utterly long winded reply. Go team, whoever yours happens to be (and yeah, I’m conflicted with McDaniels coaching in Las Vegas. Go Josh?!!) 🏈
Tim, I want to frame this comment! It’s perfect. Also, as someone who went to college in Connecticut, where the broadcast signals from New York and Boston go to die, I feel the pain of your remark about the Empire State media juggernaut inexplicably intruding on the good people of New England.
Yes, the streamers have the upper hand at the moment. I was trying to feed my wife’s need for her Ole Miss whatever they are at the moment and found that some weeks they are on ESPN and some weeks they are on some other network with a qualifier on ESPN which might or might not be available on the same streaming service. Can I get the necessary ESPN version in the cheaper Fubo or do I have to pay for the premium gold plated Fubo? Ah, I’ll just conspire to plan grandkid outings on Saturdays until December.
Not into any organized religion, so American Football isn’t in my heart.
Previously we only had one company trying to drain our wallet. Now we have a bunch of tech bros to keep in coffee and Burning Man trips. None of them have a Customer Loyalty Department that you can call up to threaten to cut their wire so they drop your monthly tithe for 12 months.
I tell a lie every time someone starts extolling the wonderful team they spend hours watching each week. Oh, I really care about Your American Football. Maybe the idea to start calling it Hacky Sack will give me enough joy to engage with them.
I love Raider Hacky Sack! It’s the only religion worth worshipping!
Raider Hacky Sack for the win! I think the fancy Fubo is your only reliable option for your Ole Miss problem, but at that price you basically become a Fubo loyalist for the season, which is fine, unless you want to watch something else.
Yes, the fancy Fubo was what I used last year. During the Super Bowl I cancelled Fubo. Maybe this year I’ll take her to a bar for the Super Bowl. She loves yelling at the TV during Hacky Sack games for some reason that escapes me.
Maybe I had such horrible experiences and was so bad at playing Hacky Sack during 6th through 10th grade is why I don’t care for American Football. Or maybe I was so bad at it because I didn’t enjoy it. Who knows, I don’t care now.
Just to touch on the streaming question you posed: one thing that has helped us a ton (we don't watch sports, so this won't work for all circumstances) is to rotate through the streamers. So we'll have Disney plus for a few months, watch everything, then drop it, and watch everything on Apple, etc.
Our total bill is a lot cheaper than cable, and we watch what we want, when we want it (except new releases, which I really don't care about anyway).
Not sure if this hack is extremely obvious; if so, please disregard, but it is working well for us.
Thanks Andrew! Churn and return is always an option for the streamers themselves. But sports packages are seasonal, so you either buy the season or you don’t. It’s a racket.
I haven't heard "churn and return" yet, and I am stealing it. Yoink!
It’s not mine. I stole it from the streamers who have begun using that turn in their quarterly reports to apologize to the gods of Wall Street for their failures.
Some really great terminology arises from apologies to investors.
Very true! Some of the most talented creative writers work in corporate comms.
If you could harness that type of energy, you could probably cure cancer.. or at least marginally increase shareholder value, I guess.
1. I mean, isn't that the definition of capitalism?
2. I'm a former Dolphins turned Steelers zealot who's now a heretic. I would spend my lovely fall Sundays in nature, but my wife found religion late in life via the Chiefs.
3. Yes, this is something I started to pick up on around 2017. Once you had to bundle a bunch of streaming services together that was the same as....cable. There's no hope here, other than just abandoning TV altogether. But then what would you do? Read a book? Ludicrous.
4. I was planning to call you on Eric Dickerson. Everyone loves Eric Dickerson.
5. The game where nobody understands the rules and yells about them anyway.
6. Yes! I went to Michigan at the same time as TB12 and, in theory, I should be a fan. But he's just so exhausting. For half my life he fancy-dogged his way to championships for America's least grateful fan base.
Pro tip: search "NFL coverage map" in your internet browser and you'll get a link to 506 sports. There you can look at the broadcast map for your city and know which games will be available. Normally the map is updated on Wednesdays.
https://506sports.com/nfl/
TV is hopeless in every sense of the word. The really sad thing is I could’ve written a similar post about watching the Dodgers, only my problem there is that I’m an in-market cord-cutter. Because I’m local, black rules render an MLB TV subscription useless, unless I use a VPN.
Indeed. I was going to mention a VPN, but figured you were ahead of the curve on that front.
Local blackout rules defy comprehension. Sports leagues thrive in spite of themselves.
I’m wary of the VPN. Too many of those companies actually sell customer data.
I've never used one. Always seemed too good to be true.
I think they’re basically fine if you want to skirt geo-restrictions, but the privacy controls are a joke.
I've been a Jets fan since RIGHT AFTER they won their only Super Bowl in 1969. That's over fifty years of lost dreams. So i was both devastated and unsurprised when Aaron went down immediately with an injury. When you're cursed for so long, you become used to disaster.
But yes it was a glorious victory last week.
As for the Raiders, I've always thought they were the bad boys of the NFL. So, it seemed inevitable that they'd wind up in Vegas, just as it was inevitable that Stephen King would use Vegas as the setting for the evil tribe in his novel The Stand.
And yes of course I agree that how you root for your team affects the outcome. My son, then nine, still takes responsibility for being overconfident at halftime when the Jets were leading the Broncos in the 1999 AFC Championships 3-0.
robertsdavidn.substack.com/about
Tell your son the lord of the pigskin saw his failure against the Broncos in 1999, took retribution in the form of Aaron Rodger’s ACL, and now forgives him. Also, you’re not alone in your feelings about Raider Nation. We are football fans in search of a RICO indictment.
You have the sickness... the curse... the damnation to be a Raider Fan. Personally, I don't know what kind of voodoo drink I consumed during the 1984 Super Bowl, but the moment that Marcus Allen reversed his field in the backfield and sprinted through the Washington R******* defense, I accepted my fate and have never looked back. Growing up three hours from the LA Coliseum, the first game I attended was Bo Jackson powering through the Washington R******* defense on a 90-yard touchdown run. As I moved to the Bay Area, I endured Jeff Hostetler and Jeff George. I was there (and quite drunk) for the loss to the Ravens in the AFC Championship Game, then wore black during the loss to Chucky's Buccaneers. Then there were the decades in malaise. Aaron Brooks and JaMarcus Russell. Gradkowski and Pryor. Then Carr took them to the playoffs, only to break his leg. A trade, a move and for the past four seasons, I've watched them from afar, like the first love you stalk on Facebook. This season, my 17-year-old daughter has shown an interest in football, and I can't let her become a Niners fan. So, I let her watch Joe Burrow, and watch the Raiders again with me. But the pain endures. The Autumn Wind is a Pirate, plundering your soul but in a way that makes you buy into the mystique. I wish I could just push them away, but they're always there and always be part of me. After all, you can't denounce your nation and I'm forever part of the Raider Nation, so help me!
I once wore my Raiders hat into the Thousand Oaks El Torito. The host there was a 49ers fan and he would not shut up about my hat. It was annoying. (That restaurant closed down soon after.) But you’re right. It was better being a football fan in L.A. when there was no football team. The Rams broke my spirit when I was ten and I vowed never to root for them again. I have kept that vow.