Thanks for the wave, Michael! You are such a pal! This Telemarketer Theatre is a work of true art! Be careful--you might have that telemarketer calling you on the regular for the entertainment factor. Wait--did you just reboot the Jerky Boys? Take my Kickstarter money. President Harrison's Mom was all "Henry! Put on a hat! Here, this one that MeeMaw knitted for you. Take it! It has duckies on it! Put it on! HENRY! Don't you give me that look! Where are your mittens? HENRY!" This version of history is supported by 90% of historians under the age of 8.
As a professional historian, I should have one, but simply can't choose. But my favorite way to deal with telemarketers who start out asking if I am Mrs. (husband's name) is to say. "No, but I'm (husband's name)'s wife. (I was one of those feminists who kept her own name, way back in 1972). This always got confused silence. Then if I was feeling particularly snarky, and after my mothe-in-law's death, I would say, "No, she's dead." Now that I am older and kinder, I just say. "No." Thanks again for the morning laugh.
1. John Quincy Adams. His actual presidential term wasn't much, but then he went into Congress and was absolutely brilliant. Argued the Amistad case, supported the Smithsonian, presented civizen petitions arguing for abolition of slavery in the District of Columbia and when the House imposed a gag rule so he'd stop doing that, he fought that like hell until they repealed the rule. #JQAFTW.
2. Look, you know how it is, you're rushing to get ready for your presidential inauguration and you just forget, okay? What's the worst that can happen? It's not like you're going to catch a cold and die a month later, right?
3. Once in my wild college days I donated something to one of those scam-PACs after they called and kept bugging me. Never doing that again. Yeesh.
4. William Henry Harrison, in his last official act.
5. Not much, but absolutely yes. All weekends should be three-day. Mondays are the worst.
I’m fascinated with Chester A. Arthur. He was on the ticket to represent the grifty patronage faction of the Republican party with James Garfield leading the ticket as a reformer. When Garfield was killed, the expectation was that Arthur would turn America into a crony-ocracy, but he turned on his old bosses and passed significant anti-corruption reforms.
HILARIOUS! My husband and dog are wondering why I am sitting here laughing out loud at 6:30 a.m. It is tremendous fun to mess with telemarketers. I once, for no particular reason, started singing “Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow…” to a telemarketer. He kept on with his script without missing a beat. Kudos to Bob from Boise for outlasting me.
I never bought anything from a telemarketer, but I did have one who called back to swear at me because I listened to his long spiel because I couldn't figure out what he was selling, then told him I wasn't interested and hung up on him.
I always thought President's Day was the appliance sale day, not the Mattress Sale holiday, But, if it was, the Mattress King must be Larry Miller of Sit N Sleep's "You're Killing Me, Larry" fame. And he seemed to have a new sale every few weeks,
All weekends should def be 3 days. There’s a whole Reddit thread dedicated to messing with phone scammers - I love it. I can’t imagine being a telemarketer though.
I'm intelligent and mature and although I live in the UK I've visited the USA many times. BUT, I'd never heard of Presidents Day until this year. Can you believe it? For how many years has this holiday been celebrated, Michael?
1. Grant made life difficult for slavers and partied. What else can I ask for?
2. His name had natural gravity, even without the office and hilarious death. Why give that to a tailor for free? He was holding out for the highest bidder.
3. I haven’t met my match yet. Not that I’m some kind of genius, I’m just tired of every phone call seven seconds in.
4. A miracle worker. I go through one mattress every two decades, so it’s impressive to see them thrive.
5. My work schedule is detached from consensus reality.
My favorite president is anyone not named Trump...
F(*&&^! brilliant! I'm still laughing. And, obviously, Martin van Buren is by far our best president. https://christinastravels.substack.com/p/martin-van-who
Thanks for the wave, Michael! You are such a pal! This Telemarketer Theatre is a work of true art! Be careful--you might have that telemarketer calling you on the regular for the entertainment factor. Wait--did you just reboot the Jerky Boys? Take my Kickstarter money. President Harrison's Mom was all "Henry! Put on a hat! Here, this one that MeeMaw knitted for you. Take it! It has duckies on it! Put it on! HENRY! Don't you give me that look! Where are your mittens? HENRY!" This version of history is supported by 90% of historians under the age of 8.
Hahaha this was really good! I love the ending. Perfect punchline, Alex! You did not throw away your shot
1. Robert Redford in Watchmen.
2. Real men choose death over suitable attire.
3. Seemingly, otherwise you'd think they'd give up.
4. Reagan. Always blame Reagan.
5. Bookstores and libraries. And, definitely.
As a professional historian, I should have one, but simply can't choose. But my favorite way to deal with telemarketers who start out asking if I am Mrs. (husband's name) is to say. "No, but I'm (husband's name)'s wife. (I was one of those feminists who kept her own name, way back in 1972). This always got confused silence. Then if I was feeling particularly snarky, and after my mothe-in-law's death, I would say, "No, she's dead." Now that I am older and kinder, I just say. "No." Thanks again for the morning laugh.
1. John Quincy Adams. His actual presidential term wasn't much, but then he went into Congress and was absolutely brilliant. Argued the Amistad case, supported the Smithsonian, presented civizen petitions arguing for abolition of slavery in the District of Columbia and when the House imposed a gag rule so he'd stop doing that, he fought that like hell until they repealed the rule. #JQAFTW.
2. Look, you know how it is, you're rushing to get ready for your presidential inauguration and you just forget, okay? What's the worst that can happen? It's not like you're going to catch a cold and die a month later, right?
3. Once in my wild college days I donated something to one of those scam-PACs after they called and kept bugging me. Never doing that again. Yeesh.
4. William Henry Harrison, in his last official act.
5. Not much, but absolutely yes. All weekends should be three-day. Mondays are the worst.
I’m fascinated with Chester A. Arthur. He was on the ticket to represent the grifty patronage faction of the Republican party with James Garfield leading the ticket as a reformer. When Garfield was killed, the expectation was that Arthur would turn America into a crony-ocracy, but he turned on his old bosses and passed significant anti-corruption reforms.
HILARIOUS! My husband and dog are wondering why I am sitting here laughing out loud at 6:30 a.m. It is tremendous fun to mess with telemarketers. I once, for no particular reason, started singing “Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow…” to a telemarketer. He kept on with his script without missing a beat. Kudos to Bob from Boise for outlasting me.
I never bought anything from a telemarketer, but I did have one who called back to swear at me because I listened to his long spiel because I couldn't figure out what he was selling, then told him I wasn't interested and hung up on him.
I always thought President's Day was the appliance sale day, not the Mattress Sale holiday, But, if it was, the Mattress King must be Larry Miller of Sit N Sleep's "You're Killing Me, Larry" fame. And he seemed to have a new sale every few weeks,
All weekends should def be 3 days. There’s a whole Reddit thread dedicated to messing with phone scammers - I love it. I can’t imagine being a telemarketer though.
☺️
I feel like the 31% discount could also be a “thankful for modern medicine and not dying from common colds” celebration …
I'm intelligent and mature and although I live in the UK I've visited the USA many times. BUT, I'd never heard of Presidents Day until this year. Can you believe it? For how many years has this holiday been celebrated, Michael?
🤣😂 i bet you were the funnest call they had that day!
1. Grant made life difficult for slavers and partied. What else can I ask for?
2. His name had natural gravity, even without the office and hilarious death. Why give that to a tailor for free? He was holding out for the highest bidder.
3. I haven’t met my match yet. Not that I’m some kind of genius, I’m just tired of every phone call seven seconds in.
4. A miracle worker. I go through one mattress every two decades, so it’s impressive to see them thrive.
5. My work schedule is detached from consensus reality.