Thanks for the wave, Michael! You are such a pal! This Telemarketer Theatre is a work of true art! Be careful--you might have that telemarketer calling you on the regular for the entertainment factor. Wait--did you just reboot the Jerky Boys? Take my Kickstarter money. President Harrison's Mom was all "Henry! Put on a hat! Here, this one that MeeMaw knitted for you. Take it! It has duckies on it! Put it on! HENRY! Don't you give me that look! Where are your mittens? HENRY!" This version of history is supported by 90% of historians under the age of 8.
If I had my way we'd have at least one 8-year-old in every congressional department. They aren't afraid to say, "Steve, your plan is DOODIE! WHO WANTS ICE CREAM FOR LUNCH?" This is what Whitney meant when she said to let the children lead the way...
As a professional historian, I should have one, but simply can't choose. But my favorite way to deal with telemarketers who start out asking if I am Mrs. (husband's name) is to say. "No, but I'm (husband's name)'s wife. (I was one of those feminists who kept her own name, way back in 1972). This always got confused silence. Then if I was feeling particularly snarky, and after my mothe-in-law's death, I would say, "No, she's dead." Now that I am older and kinder, I just say. "No." Thanks again for the morning laugh.
The story I always tell is going into work, a small clinic, and telling people I was getting married in a few months (we were already living together) and the first thing they asked was my new name and to see the ring (I said our decision was either we both get rings, or neither---so decision was neither) the immediate, spontaneous reaction was, "then why are you getting married!" I had to zip my lip not to exclaim, "Not to get a new name and a ring!" Since that was 55 years ago, and I am still married to the man who had no objection to me keeping my name and not wanting a ring to declare I was his property, you might say I made a very good decision. (smile)
It sounds like you made a very good decision indeed.
Christina and I got married in 2011. I was kinda surprised that so many people thought she should take my name. I mean, it was 2011 and we were still having this debate?? Of course, it’s 2024 and people still think like this. It’s bonkers. But we always have a laugh when Christina makes hotel reservations and they call me by her last name.
1. John Quincy Adams. His actual presidential term wasn't much, but then he went into Congress and was absolutely brilliant. Argued the Amistad case, supported the Smithsonian, presented civizen petitions arguing for abolition of slavery in the District of Columbia and when the House imposed a gag rule so he'd stop doing that, he fought that like hell until they repealed the rule. #JQAFTW.
2. Look, you know how it is, you're rushing to get ready for your presidential inauguration and you just forget, okay? What's the worst that can happen? It's not like you're going to catch a cold and die a month later, right?
3. Once in my wild college days I donated something to one of those scam-PACs after they called and kept bugging me. Never doing that again. Yeesh.
4. William Henry Harrison, in his last official act.
5. Not much, but absolutely yes. All weekends should be three-day. Mondays are the worst.
I’m fascinated with Chester A. Arthur. He was on the ticket to represent the grifty patronage faction of the Republican party with James Garfield leading the ticket as a reformer. When Garfield was killed, the expectation was that Arthur would turn America into a crony-ocracy, but he turned on his old bosses and passed significant anti-corruption reforms.
HILARIOUS! My husband and dog are wondering why I am sitting here laughing out loud at 6:30 a.m. It is tremendous fun to mess with telemarketers. I once, for no particular reason, started singing “Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow…” to a telemarketer. He kept on with his script without missing a beat. Kudos to Bob from Boise for outlasting me.
I never bought anything from a telemarketer, but I did have one who called back to swear at me because I listened to his long spiel because I couldn't figure out what he was selling, then told him I wasn't interested and hung up on him.
I always thought President's Day was the appliance sale day, not the Mattress Sale holiday, But, if it was, the Mattress King must be Larry Miller of Sit N Sleep's "You're Killing Me, Larry" fame. And he seemed to have a new sale every few weeks,
All weekends should def be 3 days. There’s a whole Reddit thread dedicated to messing with phone scammers - I love it. I can’t imagine being a telemarketer though.
I'm intelligent and mature and although I live in the UK I've visited the USA many times. BUT, I'd never heard of Presidents Day until this year. Can you believe it? For how many years has this holiday been celebrated, Michael?
According to Wikipedia it's been a federal holiday since 1879. It started as Washington's birthday, then we added Lincoln, and now it's sorta for all of them, but really nobody cares. It's just an excuse for a three-day weekend and sales.
1. Grant made life difficult for slavers and partied. What else can I ask for?
2. His name had natural gravity, even without the office and hilarious death. Why give that to a tailor for free? He was holding out for the highest bidder.
3. I haven’t met my match yet. Not that I’m some kind of genius, I’m just tired of every phone call seven seconds in.
4. A miracle worker. I go through one mattress every two decades, so it’s impressive to see them thrive.
5. My work schedule is detached from consensus reality.
Grant gets something of a raw deal, thanks to the lost cause propaganda. He was a damn good general, not a butcher. And he was a better president than people realize. Why did we let the losers write history on this one?
My favorite president is anyone not named Trump...
Amen.
F(*&&^! brilliant! I'm still laughing. And, obviously, Martin van Buren is by far our best president. https://christinastravels.substack.com/p/martin-van-who
This is so cool, Christina! I’d love to do something like this one day.
Thanks for the wave, Michael! You are such a pal! This Telemarketer Theatre is a work of true art! Be careful--you might have that telemarketer calling you on the regular for the entertainment factor. Wait--did you just reboot the Jerky Boys? Take my Kickstarter money. President Harrison's Mom was all "Henry! Put on a hat! Here, this one that MeeMaw knitted for you. Take it! It has duckies on it! Put it on! HENRY! Don't you give me that look! Where are your mittens? HENRY!" This version of history is supported by 90% of historians under the age of 8.
Your version of history tracks. The kids know the truth.
If I had my way we'd have at least one 8-year-old in every congressional department. They aren't afraid to say, "Steve, your plan is DOODIE! WHO WANTS ICE CREAM FOR LUNCH?" This is what Whitney meant when she said to let the children lead the way...
Hahaha this was really good! I love the ending. Perfect punchline, Alex! You did not throw away your shot
1. Robert Redford in Watchmen.
2. Real men choose death over suitable attire.
3. Seemingly, otherwise you'd think they'd give up.
4. Reagan. Always blame Reagan.
5. Bookstores and libraries. And, definitely.
This comment reminds me that Redford has range. He can play a president, but he can also play a guy who took down a president.
As a professional historian, I should have one, but simply can't choose. But my favorite way to deal with telemarketers who start out asking if I am Mrs. (husband's name) is to say. "No, but I'm (husband's name)'s wife. (I was one of those feminists who kept her own name, way back in 1972). This always got confused silence. Then if I was feeling particularly snarky, and after my mothe-in-law's death, I would say, "No, she's dead." Now that I am older and kinder, I just say. "No." Thanks again for the morning laugh.
As man married to a woman who kept her name, I love this comment.
The story I always tell is going into work, a small clinic, and telling people I was getting married in a few months (we were already living together) and the first thing they asked was my new name and to see the ring (I said our decision was either we both get rings, or neither---so decision was neither) the immediate, spontaneous reaction was, "then why are you getting married!" I had to zip my lip not to exclaim, "Not to get a new name and a ring!" Since that was 55 years ago, and I am still married to the man who had no objection to me keeping my name and not wanting a ring to declare I was his property, you might say I made a very good decision. (smile)
It sounds like you made a very good decision indeed.
Christina and I got married in 2011. I was kinda surprised that so many people thought she should take my name. I mean, it was 2011 and we were still having this debate?? Of course, it’s 2024 and people still think like this. It’s bonkers. But we always have a laugh when Christina makes hotel reservations and they call me by her last name.
1. John Quincy Adams. His actual presidential term wasn't much, but then he went into Congress and was absolutely brilliant. Argued the Amistad case, supported the Smithsonian, presented civizen petitions arguing for abolition of slavery in the District of Columbia and when the House imposed a gag rule so he'd stop doing that, he fought that like hell until they repealed the rule. #JQAFTW.
2. Look, you know how it is, you're rushing to get ready for your presidential inauguration and you just forget, okay? What's the worst that can happen? It's not like you're going to catch a cold and die a month later, right?
3. Once in my wild college days I donated something to one of those scam-PACs after they called and kept bugging me. Never doing that again. Yeesh.
4. William Henry Harrison, in his last official act.
5. Not much, but absolutely yes. All weekends should be three-day. Mondays are the worst.
I need to learn more about John Quincy Adams. Thanks for the info! Any good books you can recommend?
Well, David McCullough's book John Adams includes some material about JQA, which if I remember right, but really the main book I read was by Harlow Giles Unger. https://www.amazon.com/Quincy-Adams-Harlow-Giles-Unger/dp/0306822652
That should be a good one to start with. (The chapter on the presidency was maybe a half hour on audiobook at best, which says a lot.)
Thanks for the rec!
I’m fascinated with Chester A. Arthur. He was on the ticket to represent the grifty patronage faction of the Republican party with James Garfield leading the ticket as a reformer. When Garfield was killed, the expectation was that Arthur would turn America into a crony-ocracy, but he turned on his old bosses and passed significant anti-corruption reforms.
Well, now I need to find a book about Chester A Arthur.
HILARIOUS! My husband and dog are wondering why I am sitting here laughing out loud at 6:30 a.m. It is tremendous fun to mess with telemarketers. I once, for no particular reason, started singing “Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow…” to a telemarketer. He kept on with his script without missing a beat. Kudos to Bob from Boise for outlasting me.
I LOVE the singing response! Bravo!
I never bought anything from a telemarketer, but I did have one who called back to swear at me because I listened to his long spiel because I couldn't figure out what he was selling, then told him I wasn't interested and hung up on him.
I always thought President's Day was the appliance sale day, not the Mattress Sale holiday, But, if it was, the Mattress King must be Larry Miller of Sit N Sleep's "You're Killing Me, Larry" fame. And he seemed to have a new sale every few weeks,
Mattress Kings, President's Day Mattress sales, I think we're on to something: the mattress is a symbol of leadership.
All weekends should def be 3 days. There’s a whole Reddit thread dedicated to messing with phone scammers - I love it. I can’t imagine being a telemarketer though.
I can't imagine being a telemarketer either. But there was a show on Comedy Central called Workaholics about three telemarketers that was awesome.
☺️
I feel like the 31% discount could also be a “thankful for modern medicine and not dying from common colds” celebration …
Thank goodness for that!
I'm intelligent and mature and although I live in the UK I've visited the USA many times. BUT, I'd never heard of Presidents Day until this year. Can you believe it? For how many years has this holiday been celebrated, Michael?
According to Wikipedia it's been a federal holiday since 1879. It started as Washington's birthday, then we added Lincoln, and now it's sorta for all of them, but really nobody cares. It's just an excuse for a three-day weekend and sales.
That's the sort of info I love. Thanks, Michael.
🤣😂 i bet you were the funnest call they had that day!
I sure hope so.
1. Grant made life difficult for slavers and partied. What else can I ask for?
2. His name had natural gravity, even without the office and hilarious death. Why give that to a tailor for free? He was holding out for the highest bidder.
3. I haven’t met my match yet. Not that I’m some kind of genius, I’m just tired of every phone call seven seconds in.
4. A miracle worker. I go through one mattress every two decades, so it’s impressive to see them thrive.
5. My work schedule is detached from consensus reality.
Grant gets something of a raw deal, thanks to the lost cause propaganda. He was a damn good general, not a butcher. And he was a better president than people realize. Why did we let the losers write history on this one?
It's odd. I didn't think textbooks had consolation prizes.
Sometimes I wonder if the Lost Cause narrative was the first participation trophy.