haha, thanks! i wrote this about Super Bowl Sunday, obviously, but reading the line you highlighted here reminds me that this is actually more of a Valentine's Day story.
Thank you, Ruth Ann! It was indeed your name that was fudged this time around. One day I hope to have enough paid subscribers to hire an assistant so I can put a stop to all these fudge-ups.
How about a horror movie where an AI is built to use genetic engineering to create humans, but the AI's humans come out with weird hands and surfboards through their hearts?
Whew. I thought I was the only one to whom AI sent bizarre images. Thanks, Michael! And, while I think Zeus and the Olympians popularity has waned, perhaps commercials featuring Brahma, Vishnu, and Shiva might draw a crowd, or at least increase the popularity of cricket.
Zeus has been in a bunch of movies and that hasn’t brought back polytheism. But, maybe a Superbowl Ad might do it.
Other possibility… Could the Mormons run an ad and be able to gain converts without having to send their kids out on missions? The cost of an ad would probably be cheaper than sending people all over the world.
Your 1-10 list had me cracking up, as well as your description of an NFL-minute. So very true, ha! My wife despises two-minute warning time because it takes forever to make it to 0:00. Throw in some timeouts, calls under review, and you’re looking at a solid ten or fifteen minutes! 🤣
Thank you, Justin! I’m really glad the NFL-minute resonated with you. Hopefully, your wife can read a good book or maybe even write one during the next two-minute warning.
Jesus is suspiciously rich to be able to afford Super Bowl ad time. Has anyone checked to make sure he's not just three tiny capitalists in a trench coat?
The more important question, however, is whom among your new paid subscribers is the best.
I vote for Ruth, “who wisely splurged on the founder subscription, which includes free rides to doctors appointments in Los Angeles County,” not because she splurged but bc your account of driving her to her doctors appt will be SO GREAT.
Yes, it’s always time for popcorn! And you’re right, as always, any decision that sets a paid subscriber up with rides to the doctors office, is always the best because these are the kinds of subscriber benefits that yield future stories.
I'll go as far to say our mock ads CURE brain damage. Or maybe that's just wishful thinking on my part.
Also, I think about that Hans Gruber line -- earning twenty percent -- all the time. Recently I've concluded it must've been more realistic during the high inflation era of the eighties.
No, no, no. We have for sure cured brain damage and every other disease on Earth. Why? Because laughter is the best medicine. Duh.
As for the 20%, that may have been high even by the inflationary standards of the 1980s. But then again, Hans was the kind of guy who took the bull by the horns, so maybe those bond yield were legit?? There’s gotta be a newsletter out there that’s answered this question.
There's so much commentable stuff in here, Michael. I'm going to handle it stream of consciousness style: Your clerks love epiphany squeezed my heart. Your list of questions are the only questions there are. I dream of being the AI you outsource Situation Normal to, and OMG do I miss Alan Rickman. For me it's Sense and Sensibility Alan, but still. Your AI surfer was a reassuring hellscape. Thank you. And back to the top. Your not a robot. You're a human. You're going to fudge up and we already forgive you. And never stop with the 90s references. They keep me young. 💜
Thank you for a great stream of consciousness style comment, Meg! I’m really glad the Clerks reference spoke to you. It’s one of my favorite films. It’s also the reason my grades dipped second semester of my senior year in high school. I cut class whenever I could to go see Clerks. And you know what? It was totally worth it.
im gonna take flyer question #6 as my technological ignorance has just begun to figure out what QR codes are and what they may or may not portend to the future which i have always assumed was adequately foretold in a century old short story by E.M. Forrester called "The Machine Stops".
The Super Bowl Circus or even the partaking of any amount of gummys while drifting into dreamland with Apple Music library on eternal shuffle is always a legitimate alternative to scanning the QR code of our current cultural mor-"ass" which where i live seems to be sprouting spanking new Dollar Generals like mushrooms after each tumultous rain storm and not the potent ones which i assume the government is still eliminating by injecting chemicals into the cow feed......If Rihanna and utterly unfair game result did for a moment distract us from possibility there is an Alien cover-up going on i'm all all for it, i bet UFO's never seen anything like her either and will in time even appreciate the convenient if soul-crushing homogenity of Dollar Generals as well.......Even if the butter tastes faintly like dry-ice and moth balls....
"As it turned out, Christina was using the standard NFL-minute. So for the next five minutes, I stood there barefoot, surrounded by broken glass, trying keep Mortimer from walking around by indulging his bullshit story about how some Chihuahua named Groucho Barks had robbed him of the 2012 Puppy Bowl MVP award."
“Hey honey,” I called out. “We need a rescue.” -- there's something deeply and weirdly romantic and loving about you saying this
haha, thanks! i wrote this about Super Bowl Sunday, obviously, but reading the line you highlighted here reminds me that this is actually more of a Valentine's Day story.
dawwwwww
You are forgiven for fudging the name of your new supporter Ruth Ann, if I am the “Ruth” to whom you refer.
Anyone who provides such high-quality content on deadline gets a big pass.
Thank you, Ruth Ann! It was indeed your name that was fudged this time around. One day I hope to have enough paid subscribers to hire an assistant so I can put a stop to all these fudge-ups.
How about a horror movie where an AI is built to use genetic engineering to create humans, but the AI's humans come out with weird hands and surfboards through their hearts?
I like where this is going! It sounds like Ex Machina meets Point Break.
With a dash of Short Circuit.
Yes! Now all we need is a screenwriter AI to write us a hit script.
😂😂😂
Whew. I thought I was the only one to whom AI sent bizarre images. Thanks, Michael! And, while I think Zeus and the Olympians popularity has waned, perhaps commercials featuring Brahma, Vishnu, and Shiva might draw a crowd, or at least increase the popularity of cricket.
Good point! Next Super Bowl I want to see every religion put out an ad.
Zeus has been in a bunch of movies and that hasn’t brought back polytheism. But, maybe a Superbowl Ad might do it.
Other possibility… Could the Mormons run an ad and be able to gain converts without having to send their kids out on missions? The cost of an ad would probably be cheaper than sending people all over the world.
You’re right about Zeus. There’s something amiss at the Mount Olympus strategy sessions.
Your 1-10 list had me cracking up, as well as your description of an NFL-minute. So very true, ha! My wife despises two-minute warning time because it takes forever to make it to 0:00. Throw in some timeouts, calls under review, and you’re looking at a solid ten or fifteen minutes! 🤣
Thank you, Justin! I’m really glad the NFL-minute resonated with you. Hopefully, your wife can read a good book or maybe even write one during the next two-minute warning.
🤣🤣
Jesus is suspiciously rich to be able to afford Super Bowl ad time. Has anyone checked to make sure he's not just three tiny capitalists in a trench coat?
Haha! Great question! As far as I know, nobody has checked for three tiny capitalists a trench coat.
It is ALWAYS time to break out the popcorn.
The more important question, however, is whom among your new paid subscribers is the best.
I vote for Ruth, “who wisely splurged on the founder subscription, which includes free rides to doctors appointments in Los Angeles County,” not because she splurged but bc your account of driving her to her doctors appt will be SO GREAT.
Yes, it’s always time for popcorn! And you’re right, as always, any decision that sets a paid subscriber up with rides to the doctors office, is always the best because these are the kinds of subscriber benefits that yield future stories.
That surfer tho. AI scores another question mark...
Right?! I’m fascinated by the AI stuff, but the AI fails are often more interesting than the wins.
This is the best recap of the Super Bowl I’ve read! Laughed out loud at your list of questions 😂
Thank you, Jillian! I was a little worried that any mention of the Super Bowl would feel stale on Wednesday, so I really appreciate this comment.
I'll go as far to say our mock ads CURE brain damage. Or maybe that's just wishful thinking on my part.
Also, I think about that Hans Gruber line -- earning twenty percent -- all the time. Recently I've concluded it must've been more realistic during the high inflation era of the eighties.
No, no, no. We have for sure cured brain damage and every other disease on Earth. Why? Because laughter is the best medicine. Duh.
As for the 20%, that may have been high even by the inflationary standards of the 1980s. But then again, Hans was the kind of guy who took the bull by the horns, so maybe those bond yield were legit?? There’s gotta be a newsletter out there that’s answered this question.
There's so much commentable stuff in here, Michael. I'm going to handle it stream of consciousness style: Your clerks love epiphany squeezed my heart. Your list of questions are the only questions there are. I dream of being the AI you outsource Situation Normal to, and OMG do I miss Alan Rickman. For me it's Sense and Sensibility Alan, but still. Your AI surfer was a reassuring hellscape. Thank you. And back to the top. Your not a robot. You're a human. You're going to fudge up and we already forgive you. And never stop with the 90s references. They keep me young. 💜
Thank you for a great stream of consciousness style comment, Meg! I’m really glad the Clerks reference spoke to you. It’s one of my favorite films. It’s also the reason my grades dipped second semester of my senior year in high school. I cut class whenever I could to go see Clerks. And you know what? It was totally worth it.
I fudged up a your/you're in there. See? We're all fudging up all the time.
Thanks for the laugh. Worth every penny. Miss you guys.
Thank you! We miss you guys too!
im gonna take flyer question #6 as my technological ignorance has just begun to figure out what QR codes are and what they may or may not portend to the future which i have always assumed was adequately foretold in a century old short story by E.M. Forrester called "The Machine Stops".
The Super Bowl Circus or even the partaking of any amount of gummys while drifting into dreamland with Apple Music library on eternal shuffle is always a legitimate alternative to scanning the QR code of our current cultural mor-"ass" which where i live seems to be sprouting spanking new Dollar Generals like mushrooms after each tumultous rain storm and not the potent ones which i assume the government is still eliminating by injecting chemicals into the cow feed......If Rihanna and utterly unfair game result did for a moment distract us from possibility there is an Alien cover-up going on i'm all all for it, i bet UFO's never seen anything like her either and will in time even appreciate the convenient if soul-crushing homogenity of Dollar Generals as well.......Even if the butter tastes faintly like dry-ice and moth balls....
This comment isn’t a flier, it’s pure gold! Keep them coming!
dont tempt fate my friend or one's patience lol xox
Lol the surfer's hand! That nightmare hand!
It's so weird and disturbing, right? And all I wanted was a dude eating a taco. Guess I better go to the beach and just take the photo myself.
"As it turned out, Christina was using the standard NFL-minute. So for the next five minutes, I stood there barefoot, surrounded by broken glass, trying keep Mortimer from walking around by indulging his bullshit story about how some Chihuahua named Groucho Barks had robbed him of the 2012 Puppy Bowl MVP award."
Best. Graph. I've. Read. All. Day.
Michael Mohr
"Sincere American Writing"
https://michaelmohr.substack.com/
Thank you, Michael! I really appreciate that!