My neighbor, who is 81 years old and has nothing to lose, said he is taking up political assassination as a hobby. He already has his first two victims selected, he says, but is having trouble figuring out how to use his assault rifle ( purchased on Craigslist ) and his walker at the same time. No really, I am talking about a neighbor.... really.
This is America. If you can’t find a walker with an attachment for an automatic rifle, you are Constitutionally obligated to start a business making such a product.
One of the advantages of life in California is that right on red is legal, unless otherwise posted. So in California you’d have no trouble with the law on that account. That said, I’ve been busted for jaywalking while snarky a few times.
I’d say most intersections in NYS allow right on red too, except where posted. It’s fully banned in NYC, which makes good sense. But there are some suburban intersections or barely-intersections where it is posted and patently absurd since there’s no visual obstruction and not much pedestrian traffic.
Basically, I might’ve gotten off with a warning, but I argued. Turns out it’s illegal to enter the crosswalk during the countdown, even if it’s like 18 seconds and you can clear the intersection 10.
I’ve heard that cybercrime has become quite popular- perhaps you could consider that avenue. There’s always petty larceny, but nobody really knows what that is.
Yes, I have had chicken butt. Actually it was extremely good. It was a very tasty morsel. And usually it was cooked at the table, so very freshly cooked. I wasn’t aware it was available anywhere in the US.
Don't let a lack of money stop you from money laundering. Start a cash business and socialize with all the wrong people. Eventually, your customers will find you.
1. I’ve reconsidered and I’m ready for social media fraud. This week I got an influx of DMs from people trying to scam bakers (????) so I nominate those yahoos as Crimes Club’s first targets. (But I will still cheer mail fraud on from the sides.)
It’s true that kleptocrats raise property values. But my understanding is that their favorite neighborhood in London is pretty much a ghost town, since they buy the houses as a way of moving wealth out of their home countries, but many choose not to live in those houses.
I‘m a us, swiss and venezuelan national, best ager, and I still haven‘t figured out a crime. So, I think it’s best I don’t even try, I‘d always be a million steps behind. (And no, please don’t contact me to try to convince me)
My neighbor, who is 81 years old and has nothing to lose, said he is taking up political assassination as a hobby. He already has his first two victims selected, he says, but is having trouble figuring out how to use his assault rifle ( purchased on Craigslist ) and his walker at the same time. No really, I am talking about a neighbor.... really.
This is America. If you can’t find a walker with an attachment for an automatic rifle, you are Constitutionally obligated to start a business making such a product.
Man! You have BIG ideas over there on Slacker Way. Thanks!
That's dedication.
Hah! Yes.
Situation Normal x Lady B's Bake Shoppe = the Sunday mashup I didn't know I needed.
Perfect morning, right? 😏
Stringer Bell was very wise and entertained us for some time; however, please ignore his rule and keep us updated on your life of crime.
The crimes I am comfortable committing on the reg:
- jaywalking
-turning right on red (at certain intersections where that rule is utterly ridiculous)
-not returning to a chain store to point out that I wasn’t charged for something
Next Door is mostly concerned with perceived crimes. It is a social media study in racism and classism.
Happy Goat Yoga Day!! Can’t wait for that report.
One of the advantages of life in California is that right on red is legal, unless otherwise posted. So in California you’d have no trouble with the law on that account. That said, I’ve been busted for jaywalking while snarky a few times.
I’d say most intersections in NYS allow right on red too, except where posted. It’s fully banned in NYC, which makes good sense. But there are some suburban intersections or barely-intersections where it is posted and patently absurd since there’s no visual obstruction and not much pedestrian traffic.
Jaywalking while snarky? Say more!
Basically, I might’ve gotten off with a warning, but I argued. Turns out it’s illegal to enter the crosswalk during the countdown, even if it’s like 18 seconds and you can clear the intersection 10.
That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. I commend you for arguing!
I thought it was pretty dumb too. But after I got the ticket I looked it up, and well, there are so pretty stupid laws out there.
Ok, so you’re already criming, it seems. Maybe snarky jaywalking is your gateway crime?
I’ve heard that cybercrime has become quite popular- perhaps you could consider that avenue. There’s always petty larceny, but nobody really knows what that is.
The thing with cybercrime is that I'm not exactly tech savvy, so I worry that I might not make the cut.
I’d go along along with Otto’s punk buddies in Repo man when they realize their life of crime isn’t working out - ‘lets get Sushi and not pay’
So wise! You are a criminal mastermind.
Yes, I have had chicken butt. Actually it was extremely good. It was a very tasty morsel. And usually it was cooked at the table, so very freshly cooked. I wasn’t aware it was available anywhere in the US.
Chicken butt is available in North Hollywood. Will try it next time.
1. I would love to launder money. My only issue is that I need money to launder.
That crime chart is crazy.
Don't let a lack of money stop you from money laundering. Start a cash business and socialize with all the wrong people. Eventually, your customers will find you.
I absolutely stand behind everything I said. Everyone who's around me when I hit 100, be warned.
I'd definitely commit fraud against the USDA by giving free lunch to all the kids.
That's some real Robin Hood shit right there, Amber. You are one classy criminal.
1. I’ve reconsidered and I’m ready for social media fraud. This week I got an influx of DMs from people trying to scam bakers (????) so I nominate those yahoos as Crimes Club’s first targets. (But I will still cheer mail fraud on from the sides.)
2. Nope. Maybe next time.
3. I fell asleep reading that question. 😉
4. Cookies fix everything.
5. More crimes.
If I could fraud the insurance fraudsters, that would be my ideal white collar crime.
1.
2.
3.
4. Those cookies look incredible. Almost too cool looking to eat.
5.
Almost, yes. My trick is i take a picture then eat it.
1. I live in a state in which it is illegal to sing off-key. Criming is easy in NC.
2. No. Guess what?
3. It is? I thought it was Superman’s dog. Oh, wait, that’s Krypto.
4. Tempting.
5. Kleptocrats raise property values.
It’s true that kleptocrats raise property values. But my understanding is that their favorite neighborhood in London is pretty much a ghost town, since they buy the houses as a way of moving wealth out of their home countries, but many choose not to live in those houses.
I‘m a us, swiss and venezuelan national, best ager, and I still haven‘t figured out a crime. So, I think it’s best I don’t even try, I‘d always be a million steps behind. (And no, please don’t contact me to try to convince me)
Crypto is complicated and overhyped, so I can why it was a nonstarter for the table.