I will take F train five stops to get my favorite donuts from 7th Ave. Donut in Park Slope.
I will take the MetroNorth all the way to Poughkeepsie to see *Rebecca* or my *Little Sister.*
I will pay good money to avoid anything having to do with YOGA.
I am reading Anthony Trollope's CAN YOU FORGIVE her which is 848 pages and weighs 1.29 pounds and is exactly the same book as the other 126 novels he wrote and is SAVING MY LIFE right now because its just the right amount of fun and smart and dumb.
I think you need to write about 7th Ave. Donut because it must be special if you're willing to pass so many other donut shops (and carts) along the way.
I haven't read Trollope, but 848 pages isn't just a reading commitment, it's also a strength training commitment. You're excused from yoga.
Speaking of yoga, the good news for you is that avoiding yoga is free and it might even save you money!
Michael, my catalytic converter on my 2009 prius was stolen two nights ago. for the 3rd time in LA. I am beside myself w grief as I wait for insurance to tell me if they can replace it or if the car is totalled.
What the fuck man. I'm gonna get a diff car I have to.
Oh no! This is terrible news, Alex. I’m sorry this happened. But maybe we need to team up and go undercover to expose these criminals. There’s a small chance we get our stuff back, but a decent chance that we can turn this into a buddy cop movie.
A powerful long song from Peter Himmelman, a Jewish singer-songwriter, about his taxi ride with a white supremacist driver: https://youtu.be/ocm-PnuhQhA
I have a big yard, and thus two riding lawnmowers. Yesterday they both failed within thirty minutes. First one transmission stopped tran-ing, second one throttle linkage unlinked. When I got the two beasts back to the garage I found my garden hose burst and spraying like a fountain. Triple whammy, and I try so hard to be a good boy. Speaking of...
“Low Spark of High-Heeled Boys” is an excellent way to spend twelve minutes.
By and large, I dislike whammies. In particular, double whammies. I suppose there are instances where they lead to something good, but at the moment I can’t think of any example. I am glad you survived all your whammies! How did a busted fire hydrant cause a minor power outage? I hope you have a whammy free week!
I never got an answer about the power outage. Maybe there was another whammy. The intersection where the accident happened was about two miles from our home, so our power remained on.
I absolutely believe in shit and fans - I work in IT, so how could I not? In an attempt at honesty, I will admit to having caused a few instances myself. I don't do yoga, so can't comment, and I live in Brisbane, so the freeway question doesn't really work either - although 90% of what we do is within 15km of home, and we both have worked from home for 3 years now. I enjoyed what I read and will subscribe today - ok, just done that !
I’ve been collecting (mostly) baseball cards since my kid-dom in the mid-late ‘70s, back when all it took was a stop at the (not quite at the) corner store on the walk to or from (or, on great days, to *and* from) school. Alas, those quaint days are gone (as is Marty’s Friendly Market which was replaced by the parking lot of a CVS). I used to travel 10 ... and then 30 minutes to my favorite local card shop ... which 20-ish years and one significant move later ... the local part is now more like local* card shop. Same place, but, now it’s a 2.5 hour drive away. I’ll go a few times a year ... then, it’s an event. It’s similar to the 90 minute to three hour (depending on the year and where I lived at the moment) pilgrimages to Tower Records back in the day.
Thanks for sharing this, Tim! I really like the way your comment captures your passion for collecting cards and the march of time.
I collected baseball cards in the 80s and into the early 9Os. It was fun to pick up the packs with bubble gum wherever cards were sold (usually our local drugstore, my little league concession stand, and local card shops). But at some point in the 90s it became about buying complete sets (less fun than collecting them on your own) and bizarre valuations. Now I just watch baseball and sometimes, when I spot an old player who’s now a manager, I turn to my wife and say, “I traded so-and-so and so-and-so and so-and-so for his card.”
This shit never disappoints thanks man..... AND has added benefit of being shorter than Bolano's 2666 so easier to consume after the day's pilgrimming.
Gonna give you (and me) a break here and tackle only #5:
The Byrds Live version of "8 Miles High" is pretty damn good music to uhhhhh zone out to......but that said theres gotta be at least a few Dark Stars which fit the bill....and the indica....
WARNING Will Robinson !!!!!!!!!!! Deadheads dead ahead~~~~~~~~~>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I like 8 Miles High! Good cal! I was thinking about all the long Dead songs and was waiting for someone to mention them. Not there longest by a long shot, but Althea and Morning Dew really speak to me.
oh yeah Althea....just listening to Mayer covering Jimis Bold As Love and while tempted to fire up strat recall how that melodic song Althea was what got John deeply hooked on Jerry and thank christ too.....saw Dead n Co. few summers ago fenway park that june night with Eyes ummmm alot of it wasnt meant for Morning Dew but that sad apocalyptic ecstatic peon has its moments god bless jerry garcia jesus
in passing re music/songs somewhere along in this balmy early spring southern night read your buddy Alex's riotous send up of "If You Love Pina Coladas" lyrics....a heavy lift of
wit funny real
i recommend ALL in here search it out on his site and fuck now if im gonna scroll up and print it with fingies in dark and lose this Urgent message
Love your stories. I just launched my Stack. How long did it take you to get 2k subscribers? Were your newsletters rocky at first and then you found your groove? Or were you hilarious from the get-go? BTW, I shared your stack with my sister; she just signed up. She lives in LA and has that extra California appreciation.
Thank you for the kind words & for sharing Situation Normal with your sister! I really appreciate it.
To answer your question, I started my Substack at the end of 2020, so it took a little more than 2 years to reach 2,000 subscribers. But I’ve been writing stories like what you see in Situation Normal for about nine years, and I’ve been a professional writer for about 20 years. There have been plenty of rocky moments over that time, but the newsletter has been pretty smooth.
That feels right to me. I wasn’t into yoga when I lived in NYC, but if I had been into yoga, the idea of getting on the subway would’ve been a non-starter.
I do believe in whammies, also Wham-Os. Sorry to hear about all your whams. I spent a good chunk of the summer of 2021 commuting from the Valley (170-134-2-210), it's a miracle my converter didn't get stolen. Weird stuff does happen out there, it's true. Nice post!
I’m going off script from your questions. Apparently, you and I both freak out when we’re woken up. It’s to the point now where my wife Allison is terrified to wake me up. She’ll try to be oh so gentle, but I’ll jump up like she’s trying to murder me or something. I don’t understand why I do it either. I wonder if it’s somehow tied to whatever I’m dreaming about but I can never really remember my dreams.
I’m glad you went off script here, Lyle! This was the first time I woke up screaming, but waking me up is a thing that Christina fears. I don’t remember what I was dreaming about that night, but I was in a pretty deep sleep because I hadn’t slept well all week and was running on fumes.
2. The city I live in (Medicine Hat, AB) is a bit of a prairie island. Once you're out of town, there "ain't nothing for miles" to quote Julian Casablancas. I'll drive 45-50 minutes for a walk in the woods. Oh, and in the first city across the provincial border (Swift Current, SK) there's a killer restaurant called the Night Jar. On the rare occasion, my wife and I will drive a full 2.5 hours just to eat there.
3. I feel like there's a fart joke in there somewhere.
4. I'm reading Salman Rushdie's "The Satanic Verses" right now, partially in support of him, since he was stabbed a few months ago for writing it, and partially because it's a fucking fun read. Wouldn't call it scary, even with its devilish character.
5. I'd have to go with War on Drugs' "Thinking of a Place." Clocks in at 11:12. Not quite Frampton-length, but it's an awesome song.
Your drive to get dinner at the Night Jar makes me feel better about my yoga commute. The Satanic Versus has been on my TBR for years, need to get started on that one.
After the catalytic converter got stolen from my car, and I waited months for a replacement, I couldn’t get rid of that car fast enough! The car is too vulnerable to this crime.
I hear you, Jennifer! I’ll probably have to wait until May for a new catalytic converter, but as soon as it’s in I’m selling the car. It’s just too big of a target.
I will take F train five stops to get my favorite donuts from 7th Ave. Donut in Park Slope.
I will take the MetroNorth all the way to Poughkeepsie to see *Rebecca* or my *Little Sister.*
I will pay good money to avoid anything having to do with YOGA.
I am reading Anthony Trollope's CAN YOU FORGIVE her which is 848 pages and weighs 1.29 pounds and is exactly the same book as the other 126 novels he wrote and is SAVING MY LIFE right now because its just the right amount of fun and smart and dumb.
I think you need to write about 7th Ave. Donut because it must be special if you're willing to pass so many other donut shops (and carts) along the way.
I haven't read Trollope, but 848 pages isn't just a reading commitment, it's also a strength training commitment. You're excused from yoga.
Speaking of yoga, the good news for you is that avoiding yoga is free and it might even save you money!
Michael, my catalytic converter on my 2009 prius was stolen two nights ago. for the 3rd time in LA. I am beside myself w grief as I wait for insurance to tell me if they can replace it or if the car is totalled.
What the fuck man. I'm gonna get a diff car I have to.
also: thanks for all the Both Are True love!!
Oh no! This is terrible news, Alex. I’m sorry this happened. But maybe we need to team up and go undercover to expose these criminals. There’s a small chance we get our stuff back, but a decent chance that we can turn this into a buddy cop movie.
A powerful long song from Peter Himmelman, a Jewish singer-songwriter, about his taxi ride with a white supremacist driver: https://youtu.be/ocm-PnuhQhA
Thank you for this suggestion, Sherman! I'm really intrigued. Going to set aside some time to listen to this song.
Peter is a friend. I hadn't listened to the song for quite a few years. And it shook me again like it did when I first heard it.
Just got a chance to listen to it. Really powerful song. Peter is one heck of a storyteller.
Yes, he is. And he does have a Substack. https://peterhimmelman.substack.com/
I have a big yard, and thus two riding lawnmowers. Yesterday they both failed within thirty minutes. First one transmission stopped tran-ing, second one throttle linkage unlinked. When I got the two beasts back to the garage I found my garden hose burst and spraying like a fountain. Triple whammy, and I try so hard to be a good boy. Speaking of...
“Low Spark of High-Heeled Boys” is an excellent way to spend twelve minutes.
Watch out for those whammies, Bo! And if I didn’t know better I’d say someone is out to get your yard. Two mowers and a hose sounds like a grudge.
By and large, I dislike whammies. In particular, double whammies. I suppose there are instances where they lead to something good, but at the moment I can’t think of any example. I am glad you survived all your whammies! How did a busted fire hydrant cause a minor power outage? I hope you have a whammy free week!
I never got an answer about the power outage. Maybe there was another whammy. The intersection where the accident happened was about two miles from our home, so our power remained on.
I absolutely believe in shit and fans - I work in IT, so how could I not? In an attempt at honesty, I will admit to having caused a few instances myself. I don't do yoga, so can't comment, and I live in Brisbane, so the freeway question doesn't really work either - although 90% of what we do is within 15km of home, and we both have worked from home for 3 years now. I enjoyed what I read and will subscribe today - ok, just done that !
Thanks Pete! Glad your on board & welcome!
I’ve been collecting (mostly) baseball cards since my kid-dom in the mid-late ‘70s, back when all it took was a stop at the (not quite at the) corner store on the walk to or from (or, on great days, to *and* from) school. Alas, those quaint days are gone (as is Marty’s Friendly Market which was replaced by the parking lot of a CVS). I used to travel 10 ... and then 30 minutes to my favorite local card shop ... which 20-ish years and one significant move later ... the local part is now more like local* card shop. Same place, but, now it’s a 2.5 hour drive away. I’ll go a few times a year ... then, it’s an event. It’s similar to the 90 minute to three hour (depending on the year and where I lived at the moment) pilgrimages to Tower Records back in the day.
Thanks for sharing this, Tim! I really like the way your comment captures your passion for collecting cards and the march of time.
I collected baseball cards in the 80s and into the early 9Os. It was fun to pick up the packs with bubble gum wherever cards were sold (usually our local drugstore, my little league concession stand, and local card shops). But at some point in the 90s it became about buying complete sets (less fun than collecting them on your own) and bizarre valuations. Now I just watch baseball and sometimes, when I spot an old player who’s now a manager, I turn to my wife and say, “I traded so-and-so and so-and-so and so-and-so for his card.”
At least you didn’t run into the kind of whammy that leaves you with $0!
https://media.tenor.com/SWd6lW6qmGsAAAAM/whammy-press-your-luck.gif
This shit never disappoints thanks man..... AND has added benefit of being shorter than Bolano's 2666 so easier to consume after the day's pilgrimming.
Gonna give you (and me) a break here and tackle only #5:
The Byrds Live version of "8 Miles High" is pretty damn good music to uhhhhh zone out to......but that said theres gotta be at least a few Dark Stars which fit the bill....and the indica....
WARNING Will Robinson !!!!!!!!!!! Deadheads dead ahead~~~~~~~~~>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
***************+++++*****++****
I like 8 Miles High! Good cal! I was thinking about all the long Dead songs and was waiting for someone to mention them. Not there longest by a long shot, but Althea and Morning Dew really speak to me.
oh yeah Althea....just listening to Mayer covering Jimis Bold As Love and while tempted to fire up strat recall how that melodic song Althea was what got John deeply hooked on Jerry and thank christ too.....saw Dead n Co. few summers ago fenway park that june night with Eyes ummmm alot of it wasnt meant for Morning Dew but that sad apocalyptic ecstatic peon has its moments god bless jerry garcia jesus
in passing re music/songs somewhere along in this balmy early spring southern night read your buddy Alex's riotous send up of "If You Love Pina Coladas" lyrics....a heavy lift of
wit funny real
i recommend ALL in here search it out on his site and fuck now if im gonna scroll up and print it with fingies in dark and lose this Urgent message
ha
Love your stories. I just launched my Stack. How long did it take you to get 2k subscribers? Were your newsletters rocky at first and then you found your groove? Or were you hilarious from the get-go? BTW, I shared your stack with my sister; she just signed up. She lives in LA and has that extra California appreciation.
Thank you for the kind words & for sharing Situation Normal with your sister! I really appreciate it.
To answer your question, I started my Substack at the end of 2020, so it took a little more than 2 years to reach 2,000 subscribers. But I’ve been writing stories like what you see in Situation Normal for about nine years, and I’ve been a professional writer for about 20 years. There have been plenty of rocky moments over that time, but the newsletter has been pretty smooth.
Congrats. ❤️
This feels like a particularly California story🤣 Here in NY, I will easily walk a mile to get to yoga, but it's definitely not worth a subway ride!
That feels right to me. I wasn’t into yoga when I lived in NYC, but if I had been into yoga, the idea of getting on the subway would’ve been a non-starter.
California city life. I drive to yoga, look for parking for a half hour, then give up and go home.
Sometimes I'm in the kitchen and my wife walks up behind me and I jump up 5 feet in the air, cartoon style, screaming. Good to know I'm not alone.
Traffic is murder in Los Angeles, but parking is double-murder.
I do believe in whammies, also Wham-Os. Sorry to hear about all your whams. I spent a good chunk of the summer of 2021 commuting from the Valley (170-134-2-210), it's a miracle my converter didn't get stolen. Weird stuff does happen out there, it's true. Nice post!
Thank Andrea! That’s a legit commute. BTW, I’m waiting for a good coffee mug to come up in the rotation so I can send you a pic.
Excellent! Thursdays are CAP days, send whenever you’re ready!
I’m going off script from your questions. Apparently, you and I both freak out when we’re woken up. It’s to the point now where my wife Allison is terrified to wake me up. She’ll try to be oh so gentle, but I’ll jump up like she’s trying to murder me or something. I don’t understand why I do it either. I wonder if it’s somehow tied to whatever I’m dreaming about but I can never really remember my dreams.
I’m glad you went off script here, Lyle! This was the first time I woke up screaming, but waking me up is a thing that Christina fears. I don’t remember what I was dreaming about that night, but I was in a pretty deep sleep because I hadn’t slept well all week and was running on fumes.
1. Not really, no.
2. The city I live in (Medicine Hat, AB) is a bit of a prairie island. Once you're out of town, there "ain't nothing for miles" to quote Julian Casablancas. I'll drive 45-50 minutes for a walk in the woods. Oh, and in the first city across the provincial border (Swift Current, SK) there's a killer restaurant called the Night Jar. On the rare occasion, my wife and I will drive a full 2.5 hours just to eat there.
3. I feel like there's a fart joke in there somewhere.
4. I'm reading Salman Rushdie's "The Satanic Verses" right now, partially in support of him, since he was stabbed a few months ago for writing it, and partially because it's a fucking fun read. Wouldn't call it scary, even with its devilish character.
5. I'd have to go with War on Drugs' "Thinking of a Place." Clocks in at 11:12. Not quite Frampton-length, but it's an awesome song.
Your drive to get dinner at the Night Jar makes me feel better about my yoga commute. The Satanic Versus has been on my TBR for years, need to get started on that one.
It's worth it. Much more fun to read than I expected.
Glad you mentioned it because I associate the book with the death threats, which isn’t fair to the book or the author.
As did I, as did I.
After the catalytic converter got stolen from my car, and I waited months for a replacement, I couldn’t get rid of that car fast enough! The car is too vulnerable to this crime.
I hear you, Jennifer! I’ll probably have to wait until May for a new catalytic converter, but as soon as it’s in I’m selling the car. It’s just too big of a target.