Living in England has taught me - hell, humbled me - about the line. They are line (queue) masters. Do NOT violate the queue - and age is not an excuse.
I heard that Disney in Japan had no fast lane, because it contradicted their sense of everyday life? (I heard that, maybe not true?) - I told you that the guy with the English Name was going to win, why can‘t you accept nature? - Liechtenstein is pretty, too.
You should be able to cut the line at the age of 100. There aren't that many of them and statistically at that point, they're closer to death. If they drop dead while you're waiting in line, it's going to really slow things up while the paramedics do their thing.
Back when I used to commute on BART (short commute, Glen Park to Powell Street) I noticed that at downtown SF stations the East Bay-bound commuters lined up neatly in front of where the train doors would align, while us Daly City-pointed rabble would be a sloppy shambling mess. To this day it puzzles me.
Wow. That’s puzzling. You’d think line culture or lack of it would dominate in a given locality. Feels like something the local Reddit has tackled. The truth is out there, Jessica.
It’s possible some smart person might come along and suggest that some Ancient Greek fellow invented the line, but if I’ve learned anything over the years, both on the internet and from American movies (ideally summer blockbusters, but any American-made movie will do as we can’t always get what we want … and yes, that’s a reference to the great American band, The Rolling Stones) is that an American invented the line. Here, then, are my proofs:
- The foul lines … Abner Doubleday famously separated fair and foul territory with the foul lines when he didn’t invent baseball in Cooperstown NY in 1839.
- The offensive line … Walter Camp in 1880 … and he was immediately flagged for a false start
- The free throw line … invented by Dr. James Naismith … the paying lines, alas were invented outside the arena. The nosebleeds were invented soon thereafter.
- The blue line … Ha! Trick question! The blue line magically willed itself into existence sometime around the latter stages of The Great War (won by the Americans!). However, should Canada become America’s fifty-first state, there may be some retroactive acknowledgment that Frank Patrick (a reasonably American-sounding name) might have had something to do with it.
- Funky bass lines … James Jamerson and Larry Graham.
Bill, I can’t tell if ethics is one of those careers that is 100% always in demand (because look at the messes we make), or if it’s an ancient / obsolete career (because look at the mess we made). Kidding, I think. We need professional line holders. Thank you for everything you do.
The problem with the egalitarian theory of lines? We have socially-approved methods of line-jumping, like Disneyland’s Fast Passes. You’re sending a socially-approved message that only poor schmucks stand in line and think young people won’t notice?
This is such a great point! I’m a fan of Disney but not a fan of that policy. At the risk of looking at the past with rose colored glasses I think Disneyland was a lot better before the fast pass option.
1. I'm one of the few people left on this planet who gives a shit about the rules. I'm holding the fucking line!
2. The correct answer is: Cutting the line is never acceptable. My wrong answer is: 4-6. Humans peak in Kindergarten, so that's when we should be able to skirt the rules.
3. Kafka.
4. The producers of the reality show you were on decided you'd had enough.
5. People like Pratt are beyond shame, so he surely rationalized his behavior and patted himself on the back for spending his money on tons of dope shit, bro. If he was capable of shame, he would have committed seppuku, and the world would be a better place.
The best Pratt can muster in the seppuku department is a promise to leave LA if he loses. But somehow I don’t see him keeping that promise. If he wins I said a may have to move. What I didn’t say is that there are 88 cities in LA county and plenty of unincorporated areas. So we have options if the shit hits the fan.
That parking garage gate loves nothing more than comedic timing.
As usual, wisdom laced with wit and humor. A superior lineup of quips, quibbles and the quotidian (toe spacers). Always a joy.
Ok, what’s a toe spacer?
I’m not sure. I think it’s that foam thing people put between their toes when the get a pedicure and apply nail polish.
Living in England has taught me - hell, humbled me - about the line. They are line (queue) masters. Do NOT violate the queue - and age is not an excuse.
I heard that Disney in Japan had no fast lane, because it contradicted their sense of everyday life? (I heard that, maybe not true?) - I told you that the guy with the English Name was going to win, why can‘t you accept nature? - Liechtenstein is pretty, too.
You should be able to cut the line at the age of 100. There aren't that many of them and statistically at that point, they're closer to death. If they drop dead while you're waiting in line, it's going to really slow things up while the paramedics do their thing.
Fair. Over 100 years old, step right up to the front of the line.
Didn’t Pythagorus invent the line?
The Brits get quite angry if you don’t queue up.
Yes, they do. The Brits take no shit when it comes to lines.
Back when I used to commute on BART (short commute, Glen Park to Powell Street) I noticed that at downtown SF stations the East Bay-bound commuters lined up neatly in front of where the train doors would align, while us Daly City-pointed rabble would be a sloppy shambling mess. To this day it puzzles me.
That's going toward Colma. They're all undead.
Wow. That’s puzzling. You’d think line culture or lack of it would dominate in a given locality. Feels like something the local Reddit has tackled. The truth is out there, Jessica.
It’s possible some smart person might come along and suggest that some Ancient Greek fellow invented the line, but if I’ve learned anything over the years, both on the internet and from American movies (ideally summer blockbusters, but any American-made movie will do as we can’t always get what we want … and yes, that’s a reference to the great American band, The Rolling Stones) is that an American invented the line. Here, then, are my proofs:
- The foul lines … Abner Doubleday famously separated fair and foul territory with the foul lines when he didn’t invent baseball in Cooperstown NY in 1839.
- The offensive line … Walter Camp in 1880 … and he was immediately flagged for a false start
- The free throw line … invented by Dr. James Naismith … the paying lines, alas were invented outside the arena. The nosebleeds were invented soon thereafter.
- The blue line … Ha! Trick question! The blue line magically willed itself into existence sometime around the latter stages of The Great War (won by the Americans!). However, should Canada become America’s fifty-first state, there may be some retroactive acknowledgment that Frank Patrick (a reasonably American-sounding name) might have had something to do with it.
- Funky bass lines … James Jamerson and Larry Graham.
This is graduate-level work here, Tim. One addition: line dancing. Pretty sure that was America too.
USA! USA! USA!
Another nice post, Michael! Always a lot of fun to read.
1. Dude, I work in ethics and compliance. I am a professionally skilled line-holder.
2. 35. Same age as running for President.
3. Your answer awaits in the John Travolta movie Michael (1997).
4. Sorcery on the part of the passenger. Unfortunately, whenever the guy casts a spell, he pukes. Magic does not come without cost.
5. The guy is a walking example of the Dunning-Kruger effect. He feels nothing.
Bill, I can’t tell if ethics is one of those careers that is 100% always in demand (because look at the messes we make), or if it’s an ancient / obsolete career (because look at the mess we made). Kidding, I think. We need professional line holders. Thank you for everything you do.
The problem with the egalitarian theory of lines? We have socially-approved methods of line-jumping, like Disneyland’s Fast Passes. You’re sending a socially-approved message that only poor schmucks stand in line and think young people won’t notice?
This is such a great point! I’m a fan of Disney but not a fan of that policy. At the risk of looking at the past with rose colored glasses I think Disneyland was a lot better before the fast pass option.
My mind went straight to Disneyland. I stopped going when they instituted all the line cheating.
1. I'm one of the few people left on this planet who gives a shit about the rules. I'm holding the fucking line!
2. The correct answer is: Cutting the line is never acceptable. My wrong answer is: 4-6. Humans peak in Kindergarten, so that's when we should be able to skirt the rules.
3. Kafka.
4. The producers of the reality show you were on decided you'd had enough.
5. People like Pratt are beyond shame, so he surely rationalized his behavior and patted himself on the back for spending his money on tons of dope shit, bro. If he was capable of shame, he would have committed seppuku, and the world would be a better place.
The best Pratt can muster in the seppuku department is a promise to leave LA if he loses. But somehow I don’t see him keeping that promise. If he wins I said a may have to move. What I didn’t say is that there are 88 cities in LA county and plenty of unincorporated areas. So we have options if the shit hits the fan.
After moving to LA, Conan used to joke that people told him what city they lived in and his eyes would just glaze over.