I wasn’t sure what I was going to write about today. Then I went to Starbucks, and something happened. That’s how Situation Normal works. One minute, I’ve got nothing, the next minute life gives me something. Hopefully, it’s something good🤞 In other news, I’m thrilled to report that
I would gladly break that pay it forward line at Starbucks. I hate the social pressure to participate in those kinds of things and I don’t like putting other people up to it either. As far as I’m concerned the person who breaks the line is doing everyone after him a favor.
Thankfully no (it seems that would make the line take forever too). I really enjoy gift-giving but there is something about the expectation of doing it with strangers in these situations that I find off-putting.
It’s fascinating to see the range of opinion here. I’m often generous with strangers, but the pay it forward thing feels off to me. Maybe it’s the social pressure - feeling roped into something. I also find the drive-thru part to be off because it’s so impersonal.
Such a fabulously entertaining piece, Michael. I laughed all the way through. The line "...it just made me feel like a different kind of schmuck because I didn’t leave a tip either..." knocked me out! And such a brilliant ending. Absolute perfection -- and my favorite kind of Michael Estrin. As you say, there are stories everywhere you look!
i worked at toll booth in destin fl. for near 2 years recovering from shoulder injury and thats where i first encountered this phenomenon....ok the real first time is when i had toll paid for myself and followed the car ahead all the way to a mall thinking it was a lady trying to seduce me....it WAS a lady but she had a walker and i think she was calling 911 on cell phone
I've never been part of such a human centipede but I'd probably have done the same thing you did, minus ruining it later with googling. Ignorance is bliss.
I live in Dunks country but the PSLs at Starbucks are FAR superior (yes, I'm a basic bitch).
Hulkster should body-slam Elon. Obvious answer but again, basic bitch here.
I like all your answers, Amber! I’m going to guess that Dunks country is New England? I mean America runs on Dunkin, and we have them here in LA, but nothing like New England. I went to college in Connecticut. There were two Dunkin’s in town when I started and seven when I graduated. Meanwhile, the movie theater, ice cream store, and half of main street had all closed. But damn if all seven Dunnkin’s weren’t packed.
Yup! NH born, bred, haven't fled. You should turn on Dunkin Donuts locations on your map app if you ever find yourself in the middle of Boston. Blots out the map.
I always get the Spinach Egg Feta Wrap at Starbucks. It’s low fat and has a nice flavor. I wish their bagels weren’t so blah. Not terrible, but basically a fancier Thomas’.
Yeah, they need to up their bagel game. Although, my two nearest Starbucks locations are both next to a Western Bagel stores, so maybe Starbucks is trying to tell us something about their bagels.
Not to get my knickers in a knot (or my adult sized Underoos in a twist for my American bros.), but if I'm going to pony up some goodwill greenbacks it ain't going to be for someone buying Starbucks. This whole Pay It Forward deal reminds me of the movie, and how for a brief period of time after it was released everyone wanted to feel good about themselves. So the news started reporting that humanity turned a corner until somebody ruined it with a scam. The waters got muddied and we were back to where we started. I don't begrudge anyone's goodwill, but the idea is to make someone else feel better, not the other way around. And look what it did to you, Michael! How dare they!!!
Thanks Brian! I remember the movie Pay It Forward leading to a lot of news stories about people being kind, but what was the scam? I don’t remember that, although I’m in no way surprised things ended badly. Hope your knickers are doing just fine!
If I remember correctly it was one of those "they paid it forward by giving me that expensive car... oh no we didn't" deals where the pink slip mysteriously disappeared. It was still a good movie though!
I think jet lag is a legitimate excuse for most crimes against philanthropy, so you're excused.
The only food I ever order from Starbucks is their chocolate croissant. I ate their lemon pound cake once and the sugar shock nearly killed me. My teeth hurt just thinking about it.
I noticed that you scolded Amran for swearing too much in his last post (yeah... I keep tabs on EVERYONE). I didn't do an official curse word count, but I think you're in the lead after this. Also, "hammered dogshit" is an amazing descriptor. I will steal it for personal use. Don't feel as comfortable using the "human centipede of caffeinated kindness" because of that movie that other guy mentioned that I already knew about and I assume you knew about because how could you not know about that movie?? 😂
Starbucks sweets never do it for me. Actually, that’s not true. Sometimes I’m in the mood for a cake pop. Those suckers hit the spot without sending me into a diabetic shock.
As for the cursing, or rather the scolding, I need to tell you that my comment was a reference to The Big Lebowski. Shocking, I know! This guy right here making Lebowski references. I mention this in case you’re keeping track of those.
Also, Crimes Against Philanthropy is a good title for something. Maybe a novel. Maybe a college punk band. Not sure, but I’m stealing that. Or, rather trading it for hammered dog shit.
This was great! The human centipede of caffeinated kindness should be trademarked. I looked it up to see if you had coined it or if it was something already in use. Only thing I could find was a summary of the 2009 Dutch horror movie, The Human Centipede, about “a deranged German surgeon who kidnaps three tourists and conjoins them surgically, mouth to anus, forming the eponymous ‘human centipede’”. I guess I now know how I’m spending my Sunday.
Thanks Rob! As far as I know I coined the caffeinated kindness version, but the joke was indeed a reference to the film. I might add that I haven’t seen to film because I’m too chicken.
Regarding the horror movie that is LAX, last weekend my wife and I volunteered to pick up our daughter and some of her friends arriving from NY on separate flights, one at terminal 5 and the other at 7. Since both were arriving within minutes of the other we contemplated the logistics of having all travelers rendezvous in 6, but during the 40 minutes to crawl to 7 we learned the flight to 5 was delayed an hour. With no obvious place to tread water we picked up daughter and adjourned to the Starbucks on Cienega, one mile = 20 minutes from return attack to 5. We decamped when other travelers texted their arrival, only to discover too late they had checked bags (amateurs) that had not been loaded on their plane but were supposedly arriving only 15 minutes late. As we crawled closer, 15 turned into 45 and we were forced to find short term parking. 1.5 hours later the other travelers told us to go without them and they would catch up via Uber. We exited and navigated construction detours to get to West Hollywood 1.5 hours ahead of them, since they needed to shuttle to the Uber pick up location.
I think I had my Starbucks bought for me once and I think I bought it for the car behind me but am having trouble exactly remembering. But the whole scenario is not great for my overthinking tendencies. I do try to tip the baristas but I feel like the Starbucks app doesn’t always make this easy to do.
Such a fun read! I used to do this in ye olden days of highway tolls. I'd pay for the person behind me, but here's the thing: I would pull away just a little slower than usual in order to watch the person's reaction. Sometimes they might wave or give me a thumbs up or something, which is, exactly to your point about it giving YOU, the giver, the happiness bump and, in my case, allowed me to fully peel away being all KARMA WIN FOR ME, SUCKAASSSSS!! Wow. Humans are so, so basic.
I think there's something different about tolls because everyone pays the same price. I think you paid the same price in the ye olde toll days, right? I dunno. California has freeways, emphasis on free, although we pay for roads with high registration fees, so nothing here is actually free. Anyway, the thing about doing this at a toll road is that if you do choose to pay it forward, you're just parting with money you would've spent regardless, as opposed to be hit with a bill some dude's massive Starbucks order.
You're right that a toll is a flat fee versus as you said, getting a random amount. My point was more about getting to see the person's reaction, which is not why you do that. But I could never help myself from, basically, wanting the credit for bringing the big salad. I'm sure you get that reference. We are all a little George Costanza on some level.
absolutely...in your telling i scratched hesd trying to figure out how the guy ahead (who shudda been down road) canceled when benefactor went for all that frappaccino nonsense with carmel swirls...
btw the toll experience was a mother lode of
humorous vignettes and i had the foresite to at least get a pic of Woody Woodenheimer's massive superbowl rings as he leaned out the booth next to mine...he was always curious in his late 70"s by then about my sat. wagering on SEC football as he had designed as defensive line coach for the fabled Steel Curtain the vaunted 4/3 defense...great no nonsense guy and i hsve somehow lost the napkin he drew up the defense on to show me with x's and o's and looked for when i heard of his psssing awhile back...we shared many an appreciative smirk for the eye candy passing thru. there!!
Have you seen the new season of I Think You Should Leave? Tim Robinson has a great sketch about a person trying to start a pay it forward chain. It's really hilarious! This is hilarious too! Turns out you are actually paying it forward by making people laugh
I’ve been in and out of LAX too many times. I sat on the runway for hours once, but I had fallen asleep after boarding. Totally confused when I woke after a couple of hours and we were still on the ground. What always made it worse was I was originating from Portland to travel to Taiwan. So I always wasted 4+ hours for the privilege of enduring LAX.
Never have I ever had someone pay it forward to me. I wouldn’t continue the line because everyone likes expensive Starbucks drinks while I’m a Venti Americano. I’d probably just tip for the price of my drink. If I had cash that is.
It’s working for a company that values a few of their dollars more than my time that caused that. I switched to a company that let me do my own travel arrangements. Saved them money and my time.
Jun 25, 2023·edited Jun 25, 2023Liked by Michael Estrin
I hadn't thought about this before, and confess if you had asked me before reading this, I would have seen the pay it forward as some sort of pleasant example of how to "spread a little sunshine, where you are," which, not surprisingly clangs around in my head in my mother's voice. And I wonder why people my whole life have sarcastically called me little merry sunshine! However, after reading this post, and the pressure to keep the "chain" going, I suddenly thought of the chain letter, something that was big when I was growing up and people actually wrote letters, and periodically show up in my facebook pages--no doubt propagated by people of my generation. I HATE AND HAVE ALWAYS HATED CHAIN LETTERS!!! They always seemed stupid, based on some sort of superstition, and peer pressure. So, I do still think that--rather than going through life with a tit-for-tat attitude and only being generous to people who have been generous to you-- I like the idea of of paying if forward by simply being generous to others, with no expectation of return. However, I do think this pressure "not to break the chain," idea is awful, and I am very glad you did so! So there. (giggle.)
Oh my god, chain letters! The worst. I got those when I was a kid and I hated them. I always felt like something bad was going to happen if I didn’t continue the chain. I haven’t thought about those chain letters in years!
I would gladly break that pay it forward line at Starbucks. I hate the social pressure to participate in those kinds of things and I don’t like putting other people up to it either. As far as I’m concerned the person who breaks the line is doing everyone after him a favor.
Just curious you ever encountered one of these lines? As noted, and as evidenced by Gawker’s take, the social pressure is real.
Thankfully no (it seems that would make the line take forever too). I really enjoy gift-giving but there is something about the expectation of doing it with strangers in these situations that I find off-putting.
It’s fascinating to see the range of opinion here. I’m often generous with strangers, but the pay it forward thing feels off to me. Maybe it’s the social pressure - feeling roped into something. I also find the drive-thru part to be off because it’s so impersonal.
Such a fabulously entertaining piece, Michael. I laughed all the way through. The line "...it just made me feel like a different kind of schmuck because I didn’t leave a tip either..." knocked me out! And such a brilliant ending. Absolute perfection -- and my favorite kind of Michael Estrin. As you say, there are stories everywhere you look!
i worked at toll booth in destin fl. for near 2 years recovering from shoulder injury and thats where i first encountered this phenomenon....ok the real first time is when i had toll paid for myself and followed the car ahead all the way to a mall thinking it was a lady trying to seduce me....it WAS a lady but she had a walker and i think she was calling 911 on cell phone
The toll scenario seems more reasonable since the price is the same.
Thank you, Sharron!
I've never been part of such a human centipede but I'd probably have done the same thing you did, minus ruining it later with googling. Ignorance is bliss.
I live in Dunks country but the PSLs at Starbucks are FAR superior (yes, I'm a basic bitch).
Hulkster should body-slam Elon. Obvious answer but again, basic bitch here.
I like all your answers, Amber! I’m going to guess that Dunks country is New England? I mean America runs on Dunkin, and we have them here in LA, but nothing like New England. I went to college in Connecticut. There were two Dunkin’s in town when I started and seven when I graduated. Meanwhile, the movie theater, ice cream store, and half of main street had all closed. But damn if all seven Dunnkin’s weren’t packed.
One of my fave Dunks adjacent things: https://youtu.be/uJjQavtqn5A
That was really funny! I’m a big fan of the SNL Dunkin ads. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSvNhxKJJyU
Yup! NH born, bred, haven't fled. You should turn on Dunkin Donuts locations on your map app if you ever find yourself in the middle of Boston. Blots out the map.
I always get the Spinach Egg Feta Wrap at Starbucks. It’s low fat and has a nice flavor. I wish their bagels weren’t so blah. Not terrible, but basically a fancier Thomas’.
Yeah, they need to up their bagel game. Although, my two nearest Starbucks locations are both next to a Western Bagel stores, so maybe Starbucks is trying to tell us something about their bagels.
Not to get my knickers in a knot (or my adult sized Underoos in a twist for my American bros.), but if I'm going to pony up some goodwill greenbacks it ain't going to be for someone buying Starbucks. This whole Pay It Forward deal reminds me of the movie, and how for a brief period of time after it was released everyone wanted to feel good about themselves. So the news started reporting that humanity turned a corner until somebody ruined it with a scam. The waters got muddied and we were back to where we started. I don't begrudge anyone's goodwill, but the idea is to make someone else feel better, not the other way around. And look what it did to you, Michael! How dare they!!!
Thanks Brian! I remember the movie Pay It Forward leading to a lot of news stories about people being kind, but what was the scam? I don’t remember that, although I’m in no way surprised things ended badly. Hope your knickers are doing just fine!
If I remember correctly it was one of those "they paid it forward by giving me that expensive car... oh no we didn't" deals where the pink slip mysteriously disappeared. It was still a good movie though!
Yeah, that rings a bell. What a terrible scam.
I think jet lag is a legitimate excuse for most crimes against philanthropy, so you're excused.
The only food I ever order from Starbucks is their chocolate croissant. I ate their lemon pound cake once and the sugar shock nearly killed me. My teeth hurt just thinking about it.
I noticed that you scolded Amran for swearing too much in his last post (yeah... I keep tabs on EVERYONE). I didn't do an official curse word count, but I think you're in the lead after this. Also, "hammered dogshit" is an amazing descriptor. I will steal it for personal use. Don't feel as comfortable using the "human centipede of caffeinated kindness" because of that movie that other guy mentioned that I already knew about and I assume you knew about because how could you not know about that movie?? 😂
Starbucks sweets never do it for me. Actually, that’s not true. Sometimes I’m in the mood for a cake pop. Those suckers hit the spot without sending me into a diabetic shock.
As for the cursing, or rather the scolding, I need to tell you that my comment was a reference to The Big Lebowski. Shocking, I know! This guy right here making Lebowski references. I mention this in case you’re keeping track of those.
Also, Crimes Against Philanthropy is a good title for something. Maybe a novel. Maybe a college punk band. Not sure, but I’m stealing that. Or, rather trading it for hammered dog shit.
The fact that I missed the Lebowski reference means I've gone full school marm. In case you're keeping track of that. 😂
New shit is always coming to light!
Good trade.
Great story. One of my favorite sayings that I tell everyone when the topic of the internet comes up is "If it's on the internet, it must be true."
Thanks Scott!
Well, they are not allowed to lie on the internet, are they? Imagine what a mess that would be if they could lie!
This was great! The human centipede of caffeinated kindness should be trademarked. I looked it up to see if you had coined it or if it was something already in use. Only thing I could find was a summary of the 2009 Dutch horror movie, The Human Centipede, about “a deranged German surgeon who kidnaps three tourists and conjoins them surgically, mouth to anus, forming the eponymous ‘human centipede’”. I guess I now know how I’m spending my Sunday.
Thanks Rob! As far as I know I coined the caffeinated kindness version, but the joke was indeed a reference to the film. I might add that I haven’t seen to film because I’m too chicken.
Well I definitely prefer the image your verison conjures.
Same!
Eeuuuw. Gross.
Regarding the horror movie that is LAX, last weekend my wife and I volunteered to pick up our daughter and some of her friends arriving from NY on separate flights, one at terminal 5 and the other at 7. Since both were arriving within minutes of the other we contemplated the logistics of having all travelers rendezvous in 6, but during the 40 minutes to crawl to 7 we learned the flight to 5 was delayed an hour. With no obvious place to tread water we picked up daughter and adjourned to the Starbucks on Cienega, one mile = 20 minutes from return attack to 5. We decamped when other travelers texted their arrival, only to discover too late they had checked bags (amateurs) that had not been loaded on their plane but were supposedly arriving only 15 minutes late. As we crawled closer, 15 turned into 45 and we were forced to find short term parking. 1.5 hours later the other travelers told us to go without them and they would catch up via Uber. We exited and navigated construction detours to get to West Hollywood 1.5 hours ahead of them, since they needed to shuttle to the Uber pick up location.
You weren't kidding when you said horror movie, Ken! It's brutal at LAX.
I think I had my Starbucks bought for me once and I think I bought it for the car behind me but am having trouble exactly remembering. But the whole scenario is not great for my overthinking tendencies. I do try to tip the baristas but I feel like the Starbucks app doesn’t always make this easy to do.
The scenario clearly invites overthinking.
Such a fun read! I used to do this in ye olden days of highway tolls. I'd pay for the person behind me, but here's the thing: I would pull away just a little slower than usual in order to watch the person's reaction. Sometimes they might wave or give me a thumbs up or something, which is, exactly to your point about it giving YOU, the giver, the happiness bump and, in my case, allowed me to fully peel away being all KARMA WIN FOR ME, SUCKAASSSSS!! Wow. Humans are so, so basic.
I think there's something different about tolls because everyone pays the same price. I think you paid the same price in the ye olde toll days, right? I dunno. California has freeways, emphasis on free, although we pay for roads with high registration fees, so nothing here is actually free. Anyway, the thing about doing this at a toll road is that if you do choose to pay it forward, you're just parting with money you would've spent regardless, as opposed to be hit with a bill some dude's massive Starbucks order.
You're right that a toll is a flat fee versus as you said, getting a random amount. My point was more about getting to see the person's reaction, which is not why you do that. But I could never help myself from, basically, wanting the credit for bringing the big salad. I'm sure you get that reference. We are all a little George Costanza on some level.
Totally! If they don’t see me leave a tip at Big Stein’s favorite calzone place, what’s the point of tipping?
100% Love the Big Stein; hate the Drake. And this why I only give to The Human Fund now.
absolutely...in your telling i scratched hesd trying to figure out how the guy ahead (who shudda been down road) canceled when benefactor went for all that frappaccino nonsense with carmel swirls...
btw the toll experience was a mother lode of
humorous vignettes and i had the foresite to at least get a pic of Woody Woodenheimer's massive superbowl rings as he leaned out the booth next to mine...he was always curious in his late 70"s by then about my sat. wagering on SEC football as he had designed as defensive line coach for the fabled Steel Curtain the vaunted 4/3 defense...great no nonsense guy and i hsve somehow lost the napkin he drew up the defense on to show me with x's and o's and looked for when i heard of his psssing awhile back...we shared many an appreciative smirk for the eye candy passing thru. there!!
Have you seen the new season of I Think You Should Leave? Tim Robinson has a great sketch about a person trying to start a pay it forward chain. It's really hilarious! This is hilarious too! Turns out you are actually paying it forward by making people laugh
I haven’t seen the show, but several people shared that sketch with me.
I’ve been in and out of LAX too many times. I sat on the runway for hours once, but I had fallen asleep after boarding. Totally confused when I woke after a couple of hours and we were still on the ground. What always made it worse was I was originating from Portland to travel to Taiwan. So I always wasted 4+ hours for the privilege of enduring LAX.
Never have I ever had someone pay it forward to me. I wouldn’t continue the line because everyone likes expensive Starbucks drinks while I’m a Venti Americano. I’d probably just tip for the price of my drink. If I had cash that is.
Portland to Taiwan via LAX sounds awful. On behalf of Los Angeles, please accept our apologies.
It’s working for a company that values a few of their dollars more than my time that caused that. I switched to a company that let me do my own travel arrangements. Saved them money and my time.
I hadn't thought about this before, and confess if you had asked me before reading this, I would have seen the pay it forward as some sort of pleasant example of how to "spread a little sunshine, where you are," which, not surprisingly clangs around in my head in my mother's voice. And I wonder why people my whole life have sarcastically called me little merry sunshine! However, after reading this post, and the pressure to keep the "chain" going, I suddenly thought of the chain letter, something that was big when I was growing up and people actually wrote letters, and periodically show up in my facebook pages--no doubt propagated by people of my generation. I HATE AND HAVE ALWAYS HATED CHAIN LETTERS!!! They always seemed stupid, based on some sort of superstition, and peer pressure. So, I do still think that--rather than going through life with a tit-for-tat attitude and only being generous to people who have been generous to you-- I like the idea of of paying if forward by simply being generous to others, with no expectation of return. However, I do think this pressure "not to break the chain," idea is awful, and I am very glad you did so! So there. (giggle.)
Oh my god, chain letters! The worst. I got those when I was a kid and I hated them. I always felt like something bad was going to happen if I didn’t continue the chain. I haven’t thought about those chain letters in years!
I nearly spit out my coffee (Starbucks Komodo dragon brewed at home, light & sweet) when I read the reference to your ChatGPT essays. Link, please!
Thanks! Let me see if I can find it.