I'm surrounded by "yets" at the moment and it is, indeed, a motherfucker.
I used Palatino Linotype for the last two years -- one novel and 100+ newsletter posts -- but recently I switched to Garamond. Both are pleasant yet regal.
I enjoyed this whole piece so much. Wow, this is what I hoped I would find coming to Substack! This line grabbed me like a blackberry thorn: "the crushing realization that I did not fail, but rather that I failed to try?" JFC, super relevant. And, I love dongs! The calendar is so disarming and is a good reminder to just laugh a little. That's awesome. Ok I am off now to re-read!
A designer turned me on to the wonders of Futura LT and it’s served me well for many years.
For me, I find it easy to start a big project, because there’s enthusiasm for a new beginning. And it’s relatively easy for me to end a big project, because I have momentum to finish. The middle is the hardest part. The slog! I try to think of the project as being a bunch of smaller slices, so it’s not like I’m trudging through the middle, but rather, I’m beginning and ending a brand new chapter, to get a little of the enthusiasm back.
Congrats on your return to the long prose page! I am not alone in standing on the marathon sidelines cheering you with my "GO DONG GO!" sign! The dinner answer is, of course, Admiral Ackbar, but only so I can pitch him my "Admiral SnACKbar" franchise idea. It's gold, Jerry, gold!!!
1. Depends on the project. Each one has its own definition of done. If I were writing a book. I’d aim for around 300 pages of tight writing. That’s a decent size book you can finish reading in a weekend. Anything more than that and you’d better have a damn good reason for keeping me from picking up another book.
2. Are you 12?
3. Calibri 11 pt.
4. Kierkegaard. But I don’t speak Danish, so it would be a pretty one-sided conversation. I’d insist on coffee and a pastry. But if you force me to choose from the other 3, I’d make Rust spring for crawfish and beer. I’d eat and he’d talk his bullshit but at least I’d be drunk with decent food.
Living with uncertainty as far as progress on a project really sucks for someone like me. I have something like completion OCD - I really feel a strong pull to pay close attention to how close I am to "done" until I'm actually done.
I don't have a solution for any of this that would be helpful beyond "let it go, bro", but Mortimer seems to have much more of this figured out than any of us. Also, his solution might *possibly* be dong-related, but that depends on factors I wish to give no further thought to.
On my last days of lexapro. Down to 5mg, for just a few more days. Already on my beloved Wellbutrin, have been for forever. Maybe it will make this next week easier. Thanks for the mention! Loved this article.
I used to hate the “are we there yet” question with my projects because an external force (Intel Corp.) owned the deadlines. And they refused to grant me clarity of their plans. Then I started asking the questioner when they needed me to be done and would then said “it will be done” as long as Intel doesn’t change their plans. People were much happier. I was happier. Projects always got done on time. Then I’d get a new manager that wanted to see the details of the plan. Oops, it’s all just hand waving.
“. . .finding a new agent because your previous agent stole money from their clients to fund their cocaine habit, then skipped town, then surfaced in a non-extradition country where they rep social media influencers who sling dodgy wellness products and questionable career advice.” That’s a really specific hypothetical - I hope that’s not what I encounter during my journey to publication.
1. I measure long term projects in existential crises. I'm doing really well.
2. Dong more so than shlong. Rod more so than cock. Johnson is so old school, but never fails to elicit a penis joke from me. There's a campground in New Hampshire called Jigger Johnson. You can probably guess what joke came out of me when my boyfriend and I drove past it en route to our first hiking trip. And he married me anyway. :-) Or maybe obviously. Either way. Giggles.
1. Best all-purpose font is Helvetica Neue. So clean and simple it’s nearly invisible. So transparent, the meaning becomes the star rather than the font itself.
2. Interesting that Wellbutrin got you out of the hole and THEN you went back to novel writing. Do you think it was giving up novel writing that got you depressed in the first place?
3. Christine such a genius to suggest having a progress tracking mechanism in place BEFORE you start the project. And I love how FUN your strategy is!
The stickers are brilliant. I'm on my sixth year with my second novel and the times I feel best about that are when 1) I am working on it and 2) I've written down on my calendar how many hours I spent that day. Even 15 minutes is a win. I like the idea of the color stickers being bright spots. I've been trying to focus more and more on what I actually DO in a day (not just on writing but everything) and not on what I did not do.
For novel writing, I like Times New Roman and Courier - both remind me of serious work being done. The rest of the fonts are fun for letters and playing around. Although now that I've stated this, I'm wondering if the fonts have something to do with my slow progress. Am I too stuck in the past/tradition?
I'm surrounded by "yets" at the moment and it is, indeed, a motherfucker.
I used Palatino Linotype for the last two years -- one novel and 100+ newsletter posts -- but recently I switched to Garamond. Both are pleasant yet regal.
I enjoyed this whole piece so much. Wow, this is what I hoped I would find coming to Substack! This line grabbed me like a blackberry thorn: "the crushing realization that I did not fail, but rather that I failed to try?" JFC, super relevant. And, I love dongs! The calendar is so disarming and is a good reminder to just laugh a little. That's awesome. Ok I am off now to re-read!
A designer turned me on to the wonders of Futura LT and it’s served me well for many years.
For me, I find it easy to start a big project, because there’s enthusiasm for a new beginning. And it’s relatively easy for me to end a big project, because I have momentum to finish. The middle is the hardest part. The slog! I try to think of the project as being a bunch of smaller slices, so it’s not like I’m trudging through the middle, but rather, I’m beginning and ending a brand new chapter, to get a little of the enthusiasm back.
Congrats on your return to the long prose page! I am not alone in standing on the marathon sidelines cheering you with my "GO DONG GO!" sign! The dinner answer is, of course, Admiral Ackbar, but only so I can pitch him my "Admiral SnACKbar" franchise idea. It's gold, Jerry, gold!!!
1. Depends on the project. Each one has its own definition of done. If I were writing a book. I’d aim for around 300 pages of tight writing. That’s a decent size book you can finish reading in a weekend. Anything more than that and you’d better have a damn good reason for keeping me from picking up another book.
2. Are you 12?
3. Calibri 11 pt.
4. Kierkegaard. But I don’t speak Danish, so it would be a pretty one-sided conversation. I’d insist on coffee and a pastry. But if you force me to choose from the other 3, I’d make Rust spring for crawfish and beer. I’d eat and he’d talk his bullshit but at least I’d be drunk with decent food.
5. Not enough dough to buy him a justice?
As a procrastinator I measure progress on a long term project by how close to the due date it's getting.
I smile more at schlong than dong.
I have a love/hate feeling about the font everybody hates. Comic Sans looks cute in PowerPoint slides and crap in regular writing.
Sisyphus keeps trying to appeal to the Supreme Court, but his lawyers keep rolling over on him.'
Living with uncertainty as far as progress on a project really sucks for someone like me. I have something like completion OCD - I really feel a strong pull to pay close attention to how close I am to "done" until I'm actually done.
I don't have a solution for any of this that would be helpful beyond "let it go, bro", but Mortimer seems to have much more of this figured out than any of us. Also, his solution might *possibly* be dong-related, but that depends on factors I wish to give no further thought to.
Ask Admiral Achbar! 🤣 I was given a 2023 nature’s dongs calendar as a gift. If only I’d thought of this use for it!!
On my last days of lexapro. Down to 5mg, for just a few more days. Already on my beloved Wellbutrin, have been for forever. Maybe it will make this next week easier. Thanks for the mention! Loved this article.
Oh, and on question #2, yes and yes parts of my brain are still 12, even at my current age of 69.
I used to hate the “are we there yet” question with my projects because an external force (Intel Corp.) owned the deadlines. And they refused to grant me clarity of their plans. Then I started asking the questioner when they needed me to be done and would then said “it will be done” as long as Intel doesn’t change their plans. People were much happier. I was happier. Projects always got done on time. Then I’d get a new manager that wanted to see the details of the plan. Oops, it’s all just hand waving.
I'm glad you've found your passion for writing novels again. I quit four years ago and am still delighted with that decision.
“. . .finding a new agent because your previous agent stole money from their clients to fund their cocaine habit, then skipped town, then surfaced in a non-extradition country where they rep social media influencers who sling dodgy wellness products and questionable career advice.” That’s a really specific hypothetical - I hope that’s not what I encounter during my journey to publication.
I adored this post, Michael. Thank you.
1. I measure long term projects in existential crises. I'm doing really well.
2. Dong more so than shlong. Rod more so than cock. Johnson is so old school, but never fails to elicit a penis joke from me. There's a campground in New Hampshire called Jigger Johnson. You can probably guess what joke came out of me when my boyfriend and I drove past it en route to our first hiking trip. And he married me anyway. :-) Or maybe obviously. Either way. Giggles.
3. Ever been to Georgia? It's my favorite.
4. Ackbar. Calamari. Cannibalism.
I love this post! So many thoughts and questions.
1. Best all-purpose font is Helvetica Neue. So clean and simple it’s nearly invisible. So transparent, the meaning becomes the star rather than the font itself.
2. Interesting that Wellbutrin got you out of the hole and THEN you went back to novel writing. Do you think it was giving up novel writing that got you depressed in the first place?
3. Christine such a genius to suggest having a progress tracking mechanism in place BEFORE you start the project. And I love how FUN your strategy is!
The stickers are brilliant. I'm on my sixth year with my second novel and the times I feel best about that are when 1) I am working on it and 2) I've written down on my calendar how many hours I spent that day. Even 15 minutes is a win. I like the idea of the color stickers being bright spots. I've been trying to focus more and more on what I actually DO in a day (not just on writing but everything) and not on what I did not do.
For novel writing, I like Times New Roman and Courier - both remind me of serious work being done. The rest of the fonts are fun for letters and playing around. Although now that I've stated this, I'm wondering if the fonts have something to do with my slow progress. Am I too stuck in the past/tradition?