If the intergalactic funkologist and mothership connector George Clinton had his way, America would be one nation, living under a groove, getting down just for the funk of it. Sadly, George Clinton remains criminally under-appreciated, and America continues to be a divided nation, where an ever-expanding fracas of factions, tribes, and associations compete for the spotlight. This is the story of our journey into the silver and black heart of one such group—a band apart, if you will, known as
This is the most brilliant description of Raider Nation that I've ever read. The best part being that it was impossible to separate fact from hyperbole. Just Win Baby!
I was born into the Bills Mafia. I’m more of a fan of my hometown than football, but if we get to the playoffs, I’ll watch. (Growing up, my sport of choice was basketball, the one pro team Buffalo doesn’t have.)
By my count I have three former Bills mafia members in the comments here. I guess Situation Normal is witness protection for former Bills mafia members.
While it's hardly Raider Nation, I grew up near Philadelphia, and my father was a long-time season tickets holder for the Phillies, Flyers, and Eagles. The Eagles experience was a particularly rough one; I watched Santa get booed and beers thrown at visiting women and children from other cities.
There is a long-standing legend that old Veteran's Stadium had its own jail and courthouse in the basement. I can confirm that is true. My father was a lawyer, and took his clients to games often. Once, somebody set off a string of firecrackers in the stands, and my dad's client - a Vietnam veteran with severe PTSD, went into a fugue state and began choking the life out of the guy next to him (much to the delight of other Philly fans, I imagine). My dad had to go down into the dungeon and bail his client out. He said it was one of his more memorable courthouse appearances.
Excellent psych profile of the average Raiders fan! I unfortunately had any kind of fandom beaten out of me by making the mistake of going to college in Buffalo and getting conned into being a Bill's fan in the 1980s. Spending a few weekends freezing one's ass off in a stadium that has sub-zero lake shore winds making sure your nose falls off from frostbite while you watch your team hopelessly flounder around on the field really does kill a love for any sport. Unless maybe it was Rollerball or a similarly bloody gladiator game. Of course if George Clinton had become president we would all be a much warmer, friendlier nation with a far higher percentage of people high on love and pot.
Since Buffalo, my Sundays are usually spent standing next to my fridge with my head in the icebox, just for nostalgia's sake.
Your Buffalo memories make me think of that string of Super Bowl loses the Bills suffered in the 90s. What brutality to sit through a season of blizzards only to be served up as some punchline for a late night TV host.
Reading this made me ponder the nature of fandom. I think there are two kinds of people--those who are fans (of *something* or *someone* the what doesn’t really matter. And those constitutionally incapable of becoming fans. I fall into the latter camp except when it comes to Cafe Bustelo so maybe I actually fall into the former camp.
I could not focus after $35 for parking, but I stuck with it, and ultimately realized if the apocalypse happens, I don't want to be at a Raider's game when it does.
Since playing high school ball for a team that had a perfect losing season, I’ve been completely apathetic toward American Football. Although I did spend 90 minutes yesterday trying to figure out how to get American Football to stream on my wife’s iPad. She got to watch the last two minutes of play from “her team”. And now we are on the hook for yet another streaming service.
Personally I’m going as a purple-haired old man for Halloween. The same character I play in real life.
Yes, I have been to an NFL game. It was a Monday Night Football game between the Niners and Bears. I’ll give you some hints on when it was. They played at Candlestick Park and The Fridge played for the Bears. So, yeah, it’s been awhile.
The Fridge! Wow that takes me back. I never got a chance to visit Candlestick. Football on TV always looked weird to me there because the baseball infield dirt was still on the field. But I used to love tuning in to Dodger-Giants games from SF. Every pop-up was an adventure with the wind at that park.
Okay, one more Candlestick story lol. I sat in the bleachers with my high school buddies one time. The Giants we’re playing the Reds when Deion Sanders played for them. He was playing centerfield and getting heckled constantly. But he wouldn’t turn around or even glance up at the stands when running out to his position. A bunch of us tried saying all kinds of outlandish stuff to no avail. Until. I, for some reason, blurted out, “Hey Deion, show us your tits!” He turned his head and gave a slight smirk and then my friends practically tackled me.
1. For better or worse, several. Most were dreadful, but the absolute best was the Steelers vs. Ravens on Sunday Night Football in November 2011. The Ravens dominated, the Steelers made a furious comeback, then the immortal Joe Flacco threw a long TD-pass to win the game with eight seconds left. https://www.espn.com/nfl/game/_/gameId/311106023
The stadium went so silent you could hear the Ravens players celebrating on the field. The walk home was like a funeral procession involving sixty thousand-plus people.
Surprised to hear that you’re a Steelers fan. I would’ve guessed Miami from your Florida Man days. That said, I feel like your Fury Road Pole Cat costume would be a good fit at a Steelers game.
Astute observation. I was a die-hard Dolphins fan as a kid, then gave up in disgust in 1994 when they blew a 21-6 halftime lead to the Chargers in the playoffs: https://www.pro-football-reference.com/boxscores/199501080sdg.htm (I have like a spectrum disorder with sports data)
We'd also just moved to Michigan, and there was no way in hell I was rooting for the Lions. So, I hopped on the Steelers bandwagon. Ended up living in Pittsburgh from 2010-12, which was super cool. Great city.
As mentioned in my early September posts, I'm drifting away from the game, slowly and surely.
Silver and Black beard—I see what you did there.
Haha, you got me!
This is the most brilliant description of Raider Nation that I've ever read. The best part being that it was impossible to separate fact from hyperbole. Just Win Baby!
Hyperbole?! It’s all fact, I swear. 😂😂😂Thanks for getting it and for the lovely comment, Brenna!
I was born into the Bills Mafia. I’m more of a fan of my hometown than football, but if we get to the playoffs, I’ll watch. (Growing up, my sport of choice was basketball, the one pro team Buffalo doesn’t have.)
I was born into the Bills Mafia sounds like a great title for your memoir. Where do I pre-order?
Not sure yet, but my publisher says every copy will come with a bottle of Frank’s RedHot. Stay tuned!
Your publisher sounds like they’ve got the cure for what’s ailing the publishing industry.
Oh man, I am Former Bills Mafia. It ended in ‘92 when the kick went wide right. I called mom from my dorm room, crying. She was crying too.
By my count I have three former Bills mafia members in the comments here. I guess Situation Normal is witness protection for former Bills mafia members.
lol
Every adult I knew was depressed for, like, six months after that kick.
LOL that is oddly comforting. Did you know Scottie later became an insurance salesman in North Carolina?
I feel like he must have a great hook as an insurance agent: sometimes bad things happen, and when they do, you’re covered!
Ha, I did not!
While it's hardly Raider Nation, I grew up near Philadelphia, and my father was a long-time season tickets holder for the Phillies, Flyers, and Eagles. The Eagles experience was a particularly rough one; I watched Santa get booed and beers thrown at visiting women and children from other cities.
There is a long-standing legend that old Veteran's Stadium had its own jail and courthouse in the basement. I can confirm that is true. My father was a lawyer, and took his clients to games often. Once, somebody set off a string of firecrackers in the stands, and my dad's client - a Vietnam veteran with severe PTSD, went into a fugue state and began choking the life out of the guy next to him (much to the delight of other Philly fans, I imagine). My dad had to go down into the dungeon and bail his client out. He said it was one of his more memorable courthouse appearances.
I had heard about the courthouse, but I was never sure if that was real or just a rumor. Thank you for confirming!
Excellent psych profile of the average Raiders fan! I unfortunately had any kind of fandom beaten out of me by making the mistake of going to college in Buffalo and getting conned into being a Bill's fan in the 1980s. Spending a few weekends freezing one's ass off in a stadium that has sub-zero lake shore winds making sure your nose falls off from frostbite while you watch your team hopelessly flounder around on the field really does kill a love for any sport. Unless maybe it was Rollerball or a similarly bloody gladiator game. Of course if George Clinton had become president we would all be a much warmer, friendlier nation with a far higher percentage of people high on love and pot.
Since Buffalo, my Sundays are usually spent standing next to my fridge with my head in the icebox, just for nostalgia's sake.
Your Buffalo memories make me think of that string of Super Bowl loses the Bills suffered in the 90s. What brutality to sit through a season of blizzards only to be served up as some punchline for a late night TV host.
Reading this made me ponder the nature of fandom. I think there are two kinds of people--those who are fans (of *something* or *someone* the what doesn’t really matter. And those constitutionally incapable of becoming fans. I fall into the latter camp except when it comes to Cafe Bustelo so maybe I actually fall into the former camp.
I think as I get older I’m part of the latter camp, but every now and then I drift back to the former camp.
I could not focus after $35 for parking, but I stuck with it, and ultimately realized if the apocalypse happens, I don't want to be at a Raider's game when it does.
The really scary part is that was the best deal we could find for parking. The official lots right next to the stadium started at $200.
I went to a raiders game. A friend told me Raiders fans "aren't even human". Can confirm.
😂😂😂
Since playing high school ball for a team that had a perfect losing season, I’ve been completely apathetic toward American Football. Although I did spend 90 minutes yesterday trying to figure out how to get American Football to stream on my wife’s iPad. She got to watch the last two minutes of play from “her team”. And now we are on the hook for yet another streaming service.
Personally I’m going as a purple-haired old man for Halloween. The same character I play in real life.
At the right age perfect losing can cure can anyone of any fandom.
Great read!
Yes, I have been to an NFL game. It was a Monday Night Football game between the Niners and Bears. I’ll give you some hints on when it was. They played at Candlestick Park and The Fridge played for the Bears. So, yeah, it’s been awhile.
The Fridge! Wow that takes me back. I never got a chance to visit Candlestick. Football on TV always looked weird to me there because the baseball infield dirt was still on the field. But I used to love tuning in to Dodger-Giants games from SF. Every pop-up was an adventure with the wind at that park.
I went to loads of baseball games there back in the day.
The wind was so unpredictable. I also once saw a game delayed because of fog after someone hit a pop-up and it disappeared.
That’s nuts! I’ve never heard of a game being called because of fog.
Yeah, they paused it for like 30 minutes.
Okay, one more Candlestick story lol. I sat in the bleachers with my high school buddies one time. The Giants we’re playing the Reds when Deion Sanders played for them. He was playing centerfield and getting heckled constantly. But he wouldn’t turn around or even glance up at the stands when running out to his position. A bunch of us tried saying all kinds of outlandish stuff to no avail. Until. I, for some reason, blurted out, “Hey Deion, show us your tits!” He turned his head and gave a slight smirk and then my friends practically tackled me.
1. For better or worse, several. Most were dreadful, but the absolute best was the Steelers vs. Ravens on Sunday Night Football in November 2011. The Ravens dominated, the Steelers made a furious comeback, then the immortal Joe Flacco threw a long TD-pass to win the game with eight seconds left. https://www.espn.com/nfl/game/_/gameId/311106023
The stadium went so silent you could hear the Ravens players celebrating on the field. The walk home was like a funeral procession involving sixty thousand-plus people.
2. Recovering Steelers fan.
3. Keep my kids alive - barely. Also, read Situation Normal, obvs.
4. Our troubles would've been over, Dude.
5. A Fury Foad Pole Cat with Raiders logos tattooed all over my body. https://madmax.fandom.com/wiki/Pole_Cats
Surprised to hear that you’re a Steelers fan. I would’ve guessed Miami from your Florida Man days. That said, I feel like your Fury Road Pole Cat costume would be a good fit at a Steelers game.
Astute observation. I was a die-hard Dolphins fan as a kid, then gave up in disgust in 1994 when they blew a 21-6 halftime lead to the Chargers in the playoffs: https://www.pro-football-reference.com/boxscores/199501080sdg.htm (I have like a spectrum disorder with sports data)
We'd also just moved to Michigan, and there was no way in hell I was rooting for the Lions. So, I hopped on the Steelers bandwagon. Ended up living in Pittsburgh from 2010-12, which was super cool. Great city.
As mentioned in my early September posts, I'm drifting away from the game, slowly and surely.