Hello, situation normies! Longtime readers know that sometimes I use this space to tell stories about my dad. I call those pieces Larry stories because my dad was named Larry, and also because branding is an important way to set reader expectations. A typical Larry story inspires awe, joy, and sometimes, a really good crying session. But today’s story isn’t a Larry story. Today’s story is a Linda story. Linda is my mom. I love my mom very much, but as you’ll soon see, Linda is extra.
This one is hysterical for me especially because one thing I am struggling with (in a funny but also like a real, talk-about-it-in-therapy sorta way) is how to intro my mom to my substack / if I allow her to know about it or try to hide it or what to do when she inevitably finds it and reads it (because like Linday/Gayle she also claims to not understand the internet 😆 such a great story!
Yes, yes, thank you, thank you for writing this and making online writers with trolling mums everywhere feel very SEEN and also giving us a GOOD OL' BELLY LAUGH to keep the doctor away. My mum drives just like this, and has trolled me like this on every platform, you had me laughing from the intro... (plus I now drive like this, and will totally be trolling my own child one day in the distant future ...).
Also, now that I have a toddler, I do fully see how trolling your offspring when they are adults is a very devious and delicious payback for the way they drove you to be a wound-up jacked up human hand grenade in "the boundary" years. A beautiful circle of life.
Oh man, I remember reading “Gayle’s” comment last week and thinking something was up with that lady. So imagine my delight when it turned out to be your mom. Using a fake name. To troll you!
Gayle: if you’re out there reading this, I’d like to invite you over to Both Are True - our comments section is divine and if you subscribe for free I’ll give you 10 shoutouts and I will never call u a troll
I’ve just now figured it all out! You’re not really Michael Estrin, you’re Michael *Westen* the out of work, former CIA operative from Burn Notice. Because the real Michael Weston’s mother talks *exactly* like yours.
Your mom is a badass!! 🔥 I’m going to start signing birthday wishes with 💩💩 emojis! And if I’m ever caught “speeding through the Show-Me state”, I’ll also tell them: “because ‘Missouri is fucking boring.’”
I spent the day with my own "extra" mother today so this piece was particularly delightful to come home to. My mom subscribes to my substack, and occasionally manages to "like" things, though she sometimes has difficulty getting the "like" to work, so she'll just call me to tell me she liked it. I shamelessly asked her to become a paid subscriber, which she did, but not before lamenting about she didn't want to subscribe to too many things that she was paying for because that would create bullshit for her kids to deal with when she died. 😂 Sweet of her, but I really wanted that $50, so I assured her if she died, I wouldn't hold myself responsible for covering her subscription cost. As the author, I would simply eat it.
My father told me that merging from the on-ramp was too hard, so he drove the car onto the freeway and pulled over to the shoulder and had me get into the drivers seat.
After I had my license, my cousin from California was visiting and told me, "They taught you defensive driving. I'm going to teach you offensive driving."
This one is hysterical for me especially because one thing I am struggling with (in a funny but also like a real, talk-about-it-in-therapy sorta way) is how to intro my mom to my substack / if I allow her to know about it or try to hide it or what to do when she inevitably finds it and reads it (because like Linday/Gayle she also claims to not understand the internet 😆 such a great story!
🤣 #TeamGayle
thank you. the poop emojis brought me to tears.
Great article, Michael! I'll be watching out for "Gayle" in the comments :-)
Yes, yes, thank you, thank you for writing this and making online writers with trolling mums everywhere feel very SEEN and also giving us a GOOD OL' BELLY LAUGH to keep the doctor away. My mum drives just like this, and has trolled me like this on every platform, you had me laughing from the intro... (plus I now drive like this, and will totally be trolling my own child one day in the distant future ...).
Also, now that I have a toddler, I do fully see how trolling your offspring when they are adults is a very devious and delicious payback for the way they drove you to be a wound-up jacked up human hand grenade in "the boundary" years. A beautiful circle of life.
This was so funny
Oh man, I remember reading “Gayle’s” comment last week and thinking something was up with that lady. So imagine my delight when it turned out to be your mom. Using a fake name. To troll you!
It made me so happy.
EPIC! Go, Gayle! I mean, go, Linda! 🙌
Gayle: if you’re out there reading this, I’d like to invite you over to Both Are True - our comments section is divine and if you subscribe for free I’ll give you 10 shoutouts and I will never call u a troll
Think about it
https://botharetrue.substack.com/
My mom reads my Substack, but she doesn’t comment.
Unless she’s using an alias, too... 🤔
Yes, that helps. Guess I’m not the internet troll type after all, but never know. Anyway, I’m looking forward to reading your columns.
I’ve just now figured it all out! You’re not really Michael Estrin, you’re Michael *Westen* the out of work, former CIA operative from Burn Notice. Because the real Michael Weston’s mother talks *exactly* like yours.
My only question is, do you like yogurt?
Your mom is a badass!! 🔥 I’m going to start signing birthday wishes with 💩💩 emojis! And if I’m ever caught “speeding through the Show-Me state”, I’ll also tell them: “because ‘Missouri is fucking boring.’”
I spent the day with my own "extra" mother today so this piece was particularly delightful to come home to. My mom subscribes to my substack, and occasionally manages to "like" things, though she sometimes has difficulty getting the "like" to work, so she'll just call me to tell me she liked it. I shamelessly asked her to become a paid subscriber, which she did, but not before lamenting about she didn't want to subscribe to too many things that she was paying for because that would create bullshit for her kids to deal with when she died. 😂 Sweet of her, but I really wanted that $50, so I assured her if she died, I wouldn't hold myself responsible for covering her subscription cost. As the author, I would simply eat it.
My father told me that merging from the on-ramp was too hard, so he drove the car onto the freeway and pulled over to the shoulder and had me get into the drivers seat.
After I had my license, my cousin from California was visiting and told me, "They taught you defensive driving. I'm going to teach you offensive driving."
Def here in the comments to see Gayle’s response.