I thoroughly enjoyed this article, Michael! Your mom, who is of my generation, somewhat reminds me of my mom, who once asked a NYC policeman (as he was writing her a ticket) how many times he had to have sex with his mother to become a NYC policeman. She then turned to ten-year-old me and said, “don’t ever talk to a cop like that.”
Thank god that woman was never unleashed on the internet.
I think it’s possible that our moms might be part of a San Fernando Valley Moms Trolling league. Also, you’re right, Linda really leveled up the comments section!
She sends me a card with a check for my birthday. Thankfully, she always signs the card mom and the check Linda. Online, she’s a different story I guess. Also, thank you for this comment, Paul!
I loved this! Thanks for sharing your stories... your mum sounds awesome. My mum sends me fact-checking, passive-aggressive “helpful” emails about my newsletter, or throws little comments into our phone calls, such as “it’s *a lot* of reading”.
I spent the day with my own "extra" mother today so this piece was particularly delightful to come home to. My mom subscribes to my substack, and occasionally manages to "like" things, though she sometimes has difficulty getting the "like" to work, so she'll just call me to tell me she liked it. I shamelessly asked her to become a paid subscriber, which she did, but not before lamenting about she didn't want to subscribe to too many things that she was paying for because that would create bullshit for her kids to deal with when she died. 😂 Sweet of her, but I really wanted that $50, so I assured her if she died, I wouldn't hold myself responsible for covering her subscription cost. As the author, I would simply eat it.
Glad this one hit the spot, Meg! Also, your conversation with your mom about dealing with bullshit subscriptions after she's gone makes me feel very seen. thank you!
You know, that explanation actually makes sense. I mean, it looks like poop to me, but I can see how someone might see a chocolate chip. And really, wouldn’t the internet be better off with a chocolate chip emoji instead of a poop emoji?
In many, many ways it would. You could tell people to 'eat chip' or 'your idea is pure chip' or 'your complaint over my single article about going paid is pure chip' ...
Their collective chip will hit the fan, I'd say. Which, if it's chocolate is one thing, but - unless you're leaning coprophagic - the alternative is horrible.
Halfway through this piece it all made sense. Your mom is South Park's Gerald Broflovski. If you don't know what I'm referencing, check this out: https://southpark.fandom.com/wiki/Skank_Hunt
Also, all publicity is good publicity, so this was clearly intentional. I bet my life on it.
Also, I'm glad it was intentional, because when I saw the comment I got anxiety too! I was thinking to myself, 1) it's highly unlikely Michael missed a shoutout to a paying subscriber, and 2) even if he did, he's so nice! Clearly it was an accident!
Finally, new reality show pitch: Moms who troll. Just don't forget us Situation Normies when you buy a house next to Kevin Bacon's.
Mum- bogglingly good! Michael, you excel at mining humor from the most mundane events. Granted, trolling on the Net isn’t mundane, and your mum isn’t mundane, but still , great read. Seems like your Mum needs your attention sometimes...
Gayle: if you’re out there reading this, I’d like to invite you over to Both Are True - our comments section is divine and if you subscribe for free I’ll give you 10 shoutouts and I will never call u a troll
I’ve just now figured it all out! You’re not really Michael Estrin, you’re Michael *Westen* the out of work, former CIA operative from Burn Notice. Because the real Michael Weston’s mother talks *exactly* like yours.
I do like yogurt, ideally with some almond slivers and a little honey. But I get the feeling like the yogurt question is a Burn Notice reference, and I never really watched that show. I take Michael Weston’s mom was extra?
I thoroughly enjoyed this article, Michael! Your mom, who is of my generation, somewhat reminds me of my mom, who once asked a NYC policeman (as he was writing her a ticket) how many times he had to have sex with his mother to become a NYC policeman. She then turned to ten-year-old me and said, “don’t ever talk to a cop like that.”
Thank god that woman was never unleashed on the internet.
Say hi to your mom for me.
Thank you for this comment! I think our moms are cut from the same cloth!
1) You know I love Linda. Always have. Always will.
2) She not only trolled you, but has now ensured your readers will be reading EVERY comment after this. Brilliant. 👏
3) This REALLY makes me wonder about a suspicious shitty comment I got years ago on my art site. I got some questions for Debra Ann.
I think it’s possible that our moms might be part of a San Fernando Valley Moms Trolling league. Also, you’re right, Linda really leveled up the comments section!
Thanks for this, I can just send it directly to my therapist for context.
I enjoyed the twist when you revealed who Gayle really was. But can't she just send you money in a card like other moms?
On that note...you are lucky that you are still able to be with your mom. Hi Linda! Your son is one of my favorite writers. Good job momming...
She sends me a card with a check for my birthday. Thankfully, she always signs the card mom and the check Linda. Online, she’s a different story I guess. Also, thank you for this comment, Paul!
No probs Michael!
I think “Gayle” should write a guest post & then you can troll her!
Haha, that’s a truly terrifying idea!
I’d just like to take a moment to appreciate Gayle for not signing her comment.
Good point! If she had signed, I would’ve known!
She's getting the hang of "this internet shit anyway" lol
Can’t wait to see what alias your mom switches to next. On the upside, you might get another paid subscriber out of it.
At the rate I’m going, it’ll take me another two years to unmask her new alias.
This was totally terrific man!!
For whoever reads this issue of Situation Normal, from here on out it'll be Situation New-Normal knowing that Linda - Gayle - Mom might drop a bomb.
LGM...we'll be forever scouring the comment section with popcorn in hand.
Thank you, Johnny! Glad you enjoyed this one!
I loved this! Thanks for sharing your stories... your mum sounds awesome. My mum sends me fact-checking, passive-aggressive “helpful” emails about my newsletter, or throws little comments into our phone calls, such as “it’s *a lot* of reading”.
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed this one!
Haha my dad reads my Substack faithfully and apparently all in effort to report to me on the regular that this issue was “very long.”
This from a man who has read all 20 volumes of Will Durant’s “History of Civilization.”
Did your father ever write to Will Durant? Maybe he sent Will a letter once to tell him it easily could’ve been 19 volumes.
I spent the day with my own "extra" mother today so this piece was particularly delightful to come home to. My mom subscribes to my substack, and occasionally manages to "like" things, though she sometimes has difficulty getting the "like" to work, so she'll just call me to tell me she liked it. I shamelessly asked her to become a paid subscriber, which she did, but not before lamenting about she didn't want to subscribe to too many things that she was paying for because that would create bullshit for her kids to deal with when she died. 😂 Sweet of her, but I really wanted that $50, so I assured her if she died, I wouldn't hold myself responsible for covering her subscription cost. As the author, I would simply eat it.
Glad this one hit the spot, Meg! Also, your conversation with your mom about dealing with bullshit subscriptions after she's gone makes me feel very seen. thank you!
Def here in the comments to see Gayle’s response.
Haha, we’ll see what she has to say.
Well, my mother really liked the 💩emoji until she realised it wasn’t a cute little chocolate chip .... 🤦
You know, that explanation actually makes sense. I mean, it looks like poop to me, but I can see how someone might see a chocolate chip. And really, wouldn’t the internet be better off with a chocolate chip emoji instead of a poop emoji?
In many, many ways it would. You could tell people to 'eat chip' or 'your idea is pure chip' or 'your complaint over my single article about going paid is pure chip' ...
I think we're onto something! How do we get in touch with the emoji people? They'll lose their chip when they hear this!
Their collective chip will hit the fan, I'd say. Which, if it's chocolate is one thing, but - unless you're leaning coprophagic - the alternative is horrible.
Halfway through this piece it all made sense. Your mom is South Park's Gerald Broflovski. If you don't know what I'm referencing, check this out: https://southpark.fandom.com/wiki/Skank_Hunt
Also, all publicity is good publicity, so this was clearly intentional. I bet my life on it.
Also, I'm glad it was intentional, because when I saw the comment I got anxiety too! I was thinking to myself, 1) it's highly unlikely Michael missed a shoutout to a paying subscriber, and 2) even if he did, he's so nice! Clearly it was an accident!
Finally, new reality show pitch: Moms who troll. Just don't forget us Situation Normies when you buy a house next to Kevin Bacon's.
Never got into South Park, but I’ve seen a few episodes. Anyway, I checked that link, and you’re right it all makes sense.
Mum- bogglingly good! Michael, you excel at mining humor from the most mundane events. Granted, trolling on the Net isn’t mundane, and your mum isn’t mundane, but still , great read. Seems like your Mum needs your attention sometimes...
Thank you! I’m really glad you enjoyed this one!
Gayle: if you’re out there reading this, I’d like to invite you over to Both Are True - our comments section is divine and if you subscribe for free I’ll give you 10 shoutouts and I will never call u a troll
Think about it
https://botharetrue.substack.com/
I’ve just now figured it all out! You’re not really Michael Estrin, you’re Michael *Westen* the out of work, former CIA operative from Burn Notice. Because the real Michael Weston’s mother talks *exactly* like yours.
My only question is, do you like yogurt?
I do like yogurt, ideally with some almond slivers and a little honey. But I get the feeling like the yogurt question is a Burn Notice reference, and I never really watched that show. I take Michael Weston’s mom was extra?
you really need to watch a few episodes. At least the way you wrote your mom, she sounds exactly like Michael Weston’s.