92 Comments

According to the U-Bend, you've hit rock bottom. There's nowhere to go but up.

Bloodsport all the way.

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Last birthday my cousin (rudely) decided to get married. Despite trying several times during the cake cutting to start a rousing hhhhaaapppyyy bbbirthdayyy song, no one else joined in and I got a lot of (rude) looks.

I even brought my own candle and tried to put it on top of the cake, but was forcefully led away (rude) and told I was being “disruptive” and “childish”

Can you believe that? On my birthday if all days.

But then, mercifully, as I was about to leave, I noticed a table with a beautiful book filled with signatures and kind birthday wishes (I assume) and a table full of gifts. They hadn’t forgotten after all!

Wait...they’re leading me away from the gifts...these aren’t for me? Who are they for? The bride and groom!? They already got a party and cake and now they get the gifts too?

Anyway, next year I figure I better get married just to be safe, seems that’s the only way to get a birthday party these days

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I'm a few birthdays past 46. My life hasn't turned out the way I wanted but I'm mostly the person I want to be. So life is okay.

I only celebrate my birthday when someone else wants to.

The older I get the less wisdom I have.

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Sep 10, 2023Liked by Michael Estrin

Happy birthday, Michael, you young thing. Take the rest of the month to celebrate, too, in any way you want. My last birthday was supposed to be trip to Petaluma to see The Rocky Horror Picture Show, including overnight with husband in a nice hotel, because my daughter is part of the Barely Legal shadow cast. At the last minute, she canceled so we canceled because my birthday treat was supposed to be getting to potentially embarrass my kid. Next birthday: Fly first class to Fairbanks AK to see the Northern Lights and play lead guitar in an 1980s-cover rock band.

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Was anyone else a little fixated on Sam & Jake sitting on that glass table at the end of 16 Candles, a little nervous it would break or that it was going to take a lot of cleaning for the Bakers’ “help” (because, c’mon clearly) to get all the cake & sweaty leg smears out? No? Just 8 going on 80 me? Coool coolcool. Also: Happy UnBirthday Michael! May the odds be reasonably in your favor. 🎉

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It’s been an intense “we’re getting older” birthday week on Substack. You, Amran Gowani, me (though I didn’t write anything hilarious like you two)

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Sep 10, 2023Liked by Michael Estrin

Happy Birthday! I am also 46 but I feel like the last few years I sometimes have to pause and think about my exact age. Am 45? 47? So the actual number feels less important lately. Of course that may change when 50 comes up!

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Happy Fine Birthday, Michael! I celebrated my birthday this year at Super Nintendo World, where I suspect my funeral will also take place.

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Sep 10, 2023Liked by Michael Estrin

Thanks for the inspiration. Next Sunday at 3:02am I'm going to start looking for training on how best to punch someone in the nuts.

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My last birthday was my 60th and I had a dinner with my wife, my three children in their 30s, my son and daughter-in law, my two brothers, my dad, and one very close friend who's like family.

In honor of the solemn occasion, my 35 year old daughter was dressed to their nines as Gandalf complete with beard. It all made me very happy.

Sixteen Candles! Not even close.

And here's one of my favorite birthday clips. You will have a better birthday than Ben Stiller!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQlvPoUSK8k

robertsdavidn.substack.com

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Sep 12, 2023Liked by Michael Estrin

Belated Happy Birthday!

1. Last birthday, I streamed Predator and Predator 2 on the 1900Hotdog discord with a bunch of friends.

2. Next time, I will stream Evil Dead 2 and Army of Darkness. I am incapable of lying.

3. Facebook is where misery searches for strange.

4. Molly Ringwald is a national treasure, but the love between JCVD and Ray Jackson is eternal.

5. It's okay to be okay!

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Sep 12, 2023Liked by Michael Estrin

So did you eat cake or wot? If so, what kind of cake?

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wait is bloodsport about a birthday?

also - what advice do you have for your 66 year old self??

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1. Since having children, I always ask for a day to myself. My husband takes the kids away and I go the grocery store and buy myself a lobster roll and some cheddar and sour cream ruffles and a frozen pepperidge farm cake (amazing, btw) and I eat at leisure and binge what I want on TV. It's the bomb.

2. I actually think I might try to socialize for my birthday this year. I also have a can of edibles my big sis from Boston scored for me that I haven't dug into yet. If you get a weird email on January 17th, you'll know why.

3. Fucking Facebook.

4. John Cusack had a tiny role as one of the geek's sidekicks in Sixteen Candles. That's the only reason I watch that movie now. I don't have a reason to watch Bloodsport anymore. I have children.

5. I'm probably closer to the acronym FINE, but it's fine.

6. Happy Birthday, Michael.

7. "sad pants." 🥹

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Happy Birthday Michael! Enjoy every minute of 46, celebrate in joy or fake until you make it.

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Happy birthday, Michael! (Go Team Virgo)

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