Nightmare over? the part of me that believes in happy endings sees a future of mechanic hosted “family” barbecues, increased spouse admiration (leading to more intense married sex), no more war, and cheaper groceries.
That skeptical part of me worries you’re going to get a call in a month from your new “dad” and he tells you the cat stock is low, he needs you to do a favor for the “family” - should only take two minutes and good news, here’s a list of driveways on your street without motion lights.
Jul 2, 2023·edited Jul 2, 2023Liked by Michael Estrin
I get worried when life throws a Heller moment at me. "To sell my car, I needed to renew the registration, but to renew the registration I needed to get a smog check." told me we were headed to space.
1. Y-yeah. The nightmare is over now. Going forward, the city's full of rabbits. Rabbits that hate touching catalytic converters.
2. Yup. A choice between losing money and a legal knife-fight with a family member fond of interpersonal trench warfare. Stalling was worthwhile, he kind of just deflated. So it goes. Now I tell kids to just wait for their problems to go away.
3. You can get a good deal, as long as you get in before they announce a Police Academy remake.
4. It's a coin flip crazy enough to work. As a compromise, the unloaded gun might set everyone against him, or have the masses pull a "hold your nose." I don't know which, but he'll definitely get either ten or ninety percent of the vote. Nothing in-between.
5. It's simple, really. After all his loss, Dave Grohl decided to revenge himself on the world. Then he joined the class of people dedicated to diverting the train of human progress into delivery app variants and financial fraud. Dave knows that each project he props up leads us further from the singularity and closer to the wasteland. He's also Elon's advice friend.
I think your take on Jon’s political potential is right on the money. Either Los Angeles voters will rally around his weird populist vision, or they’ll shun him. It’ll all come down to which celebs rally for (or against) him.
Luckily I haven't been a victim of catalytic converter theft but we had to trade in my beloved Prius C because I live in a rural area and am plagued by even more amoral, unpoliceable, difficult to thwart scofflaws: rodents.
Toyotas are like open buffets for mice because for some reason they have so many unsecured entry points and they coat all their wiring in eco-friendly, delicious plant-based plastic. They infested and nested in the headliner and made nests of the airbags up there, then after insurance paid for that repair they chewed through the main wire bundle to the engine and bricked the thing. We had it towed to a dealership and they gave us a couple thousand for it that we used to buy a previously-leased Nissan Sentra.
I had no idea about the rodents. Wow. I do love the car. But if Toyota had told me that thieves and rats were the cost of ownership, I might’ve gotten a different car.
I drove my Corolla into the ground, then donated it to the local public radio station to fund their journalism. Got a decent tax write off too. That’s my dream for the Prius.
Here's to hoping there is no "Third Time's A Charm" for the Catalytic Converter Challenge game and that you won't need to use the ohana because of "Three Strikes and You're Out"
Jon could use the slogan, "Empty Guns, Not Empty Promises" in a run for City Council.
I’m really psyched that you’re on the Ohana Plan now! Or maybe we should call it Ohana Care. Anyway, keep us posted on how you and Jon and the rest of the ohana fare.
Ugh. Same situation in Seattle, Portland, SF. I hope the thieves have moved on to a different hood. My car was broken into. Neighbors on Nextdoor advised me to roll down windows and open interior compartments so jerks will see I have nothing and move along. Maybe a sign in your window that says, No catalytic converter?
Still cruising around in my 2007 Prius. If my hot rod can make it to 2023 you should have no problems with yours lasting til 2030. Ohana means Prius family for life 🤙
2. I don’t like any of the choices, so I’m gonna pull a Kobayashi Maru and change the conditions to what is the realistically best car for you to drive in LA?
It could be pretty rough, actually. I won’t be able to register my car next year. Eventually, I’ll get caught driving with expired tags. From there, I’d expect the fines to mount.
1. A fitting conclusion to the trilogy. But we all know Hollywood loves sequels....
2. I learned an expression from The Economist a number of years ago: choosing the least bad option. That's always stuck with me, because it rightfully implies that every choice has flaws and limitations and tradeoffs and to some degree sucks. There's no perfect choice in anything. And yes, many, many times.
3. Real deal MW will be too expensive, which is why the robots are winning.
4. He should also create a PAC called Guns Against Groomers.
5. I honestly didn't know who Dave Grohl was, but after a quick Google search I'm certain he's a techno-libertarian shitbag.
Half-joking, but I was kind of expecting you to say you bought the backup catalytic converters in advance. You know, corner the Ohana market, and then start your own black market operation.
I don't know if either. My sense was it's a very fatalistic British thing, but it resonated with me. Instead of making the "best" choice, you make the "least bad" choice, which somehow seems right for most of life's curveballs.
"I could sell my Prius and live the Los Angeles dream of a one-car household. That seemed promising, especially to the Situation Normal community, because it would result in more Lyft driver stories."
couldn't agree more AND i don't believe this is the end of the story. predict that you and family will soon bust a move to Hawaii
Does law enforcement down your way offer ID kits for cats? I can't say how effective it has been here, but between the plate and the kit, some deterrence might result. We figure it might come in handy in various spots in California where our out-of-state plates scream "take me!"
The police encourage people to have their VIN etched into the convertor. It's helpful in theory, but they have to make a bust to return your convertor to you, and honestly, I've never heard of anyone getting their cat back. The thieves sell them and they're melted down for the precious medals inside, so usually once it's gone it's gone.
Nightmare over? the part of me that believes in happy endings sees a future of mechanic hosted “family” barbecues, increased spouse admiration (leading to more intense married sex), no more war, and cheaper groceries.
That skeptical part of me worries you’re going to get a call in a month from your new “dad” and he tells you the cat stock is low, he needs you to do a favor for the “family” - should only take two minutes and good news, here’s a list of driveways on your street without motion lights.
Here’s the good news, Wil. Your optimistic side and your skeptical side both have strong story potential.
I get worried when life throws a Heller moment at me. "To sell my car, I needed to renew the registration, but to renew the registration I needed to get a smog check." told me we were headed to space.
1. Y-yeah. The nightmare is over now. Going forward, the city's full of rabbits. Rabbits that hate touching catalytic converters.
2. Yup. A choice between losing money and a legal knife-fight with a family member fond of interpersonal trench warfare. Stalling was worthwhile, he kind of just deflated. So it goes. Now I tell kids to just wait for their problems to go away.
3. You can get a good deal, as long as you get in before they announce a Police Academy remake.
4. It's a coin flip crazy enough to work. As a compromise, the unloaded gun might set everyone against him, or have the masses pull a "hold your nose." I don't know which, but he'll definitely get either ten or ninety percent of the vote. Nothing in-between.
5. It's simple, really. After all his loss, Dave Grohl decided to revenge himself on the world. Then he joined the class of people dedicated to diverting the train of human progress into delivery app variants and financial fraud. Dave knows that each project he props up leads us further from the singularity and closer to the wasteland. He's also Elon's advice friend.
I think your take on Jon’s political potential is right on the money. Either Los Angeles voters will rally around his weird populist vision, or they’ll shun him. It’ll all come down to which celebs rally for (or against) him.
Cruising that same Heller wavelength, my friend. Once I read that line, I knew the show had properly begun.
Luckily I haven't been a victim of catalytic converter theft but we had to trade in my beloved Prius C because I live in a rural area and am plagued by even more amoral, unpoliceable, difficult to thwart scofflaws: rodents.
Toyotas are like open buffets for mice because for some reason they have so many unsecured entry points and they coat all their wiring in eco-friendly, delicious plant-based plastic. They infested and nested in the headliner and made nests of the airbags up there, then after insurance paid for that repair they chewed through the main wire bundle to the engine and bricked the thing. We had it towed to a dealership and they gave us a couple thousand for it that we used to buy a previously-leased Nissan Sentra.
Also, I have a shield under my Volvo. It gives the chipmunks a good place to shove leaves for the Valvoline guys to find.
I had no idea about the rodents. Wow. I do love the car. But if Toyota had told me that thieves and rats were the cost of ownership, I might’ve gotten a different car.
It sure as hell was a surprise to us, since we also planned to drive the thing into the ground.
I drove my Corolla into the ground, then donated it to the local public radio station to fund their journalism. Got a decent tax write off too. That’s my dream for the Prius.
Here's to hoping there is no "Third Time's A Charm" for the Catalytic Converter Challenge game and that you won't need to use the ohana because of "Three Strikes and You're Out"
Jon could use the slogan, "Empty Guns, Not Empty Promises" in a run for City Council.
That slogan could be a winner!
Almost makes the whole debacle worth it, just having Jon say, "I got you." Substack Gold right here!
Almost worth it indeed!
I’m really psyched that you’re on the Ohana Plan now! Or maybe we should call it Ohana Care. Anyway, keep us posted on how you and Jon and the rest of the ohana fare.
Thanks! I'll post any updates, but honestly, I'm hoping there aren't any updates :)
Ugh. Same situation in Seattle, Portland, SF. I hope the thieves have moved on to a different hood. My car was broken into. Neighbors on Nextdoor advised me to roll down windows and open interior compartments so jerks will see I have nothing and move along. Maybe a sign in your window that says, No catalytic converter?
It’s a nationwide problem I’m afraid. I don’t know if a sign would help, but you never know.
Still cruising around in my 2007 Prius. If my hot rod can make it to 2023 you should have no problems with yours lasting til 2030. Ohana means Prius family for life 🤙
Thank your for your encouragement. Take care of your catalytic converter, brother.
2. I don’t like any of the choices, so I’m gonna pull a Kobayashi Maru and change the conditions to what is the realistically best car for you to drive in LA?
I’ve always said my dream car is any car with a driver who makes a good salary with health & pension. In Los Angeles, that’s a very expensive car.
No, not your dream car, just a reasonable choice, please. Remember, you have to change the test conditions if you want a win.
A reasonable choice would be a Toyota Corolla.
then stop slacking and get down to work heeeeeee
Michael, I'm just going to steal your catalytic converter again.
What's the penalty if you went straight-pipe scofflaw 4life?
It could be pretty rough, actually. I won’t be able to register my car next year. Eventually, I’ll get caught driving with expired tags. From there, I’d expect the fines to mount.
1. A fitting conclusion to the trilogy. But we all know Hollywood loves sequels....
2. I learned an expression from The Economist a number of years ago: choosing the least bad option. That's always stuck with me, because it rightfully implies that every choice has flaws and limitations and tradeoffs and to some degree sucks. There's no perfect choice in anything. And yes, many, many times.
3. Real deal MW will be too expensive, which is why the robots are winning.
4. He should also create a PAC called Guns Against Groomers.
5. I honestly didn't know who Dave Grohl was, but after a quick Google search I'm certain he's a techno-libertarian shitbag.
Half-joking, but I was kind of expecting you to say you bought the backup catalytic converters in advance. You know, corner the Ohana market, and then start your own black market operation.
Is the least bad option something The Economist coined, or is it a thing economists say? But I take the point: all choices have flaws.
I don't know if either. My sense was it's a very fatalistic British thing, but it resonated with me. Instead of making the "best" choice, you make the "least bad" choice, which somehow seems right for most of life's curveballs.
That's a good point. Least bad choice feels very British.
"I could sell my Prius and live the Los Angeles dream of a one-car household. That seemed promising, especially to the Situation Normal community, because it would result in more Lyft driver stories."
couldn't agree more AND i don't believe this is the end of the story. predict that you and family will soon bust a move to Hawaii
haha, i'd love to move to Hawaii!
This is the reboot of FX's The Shield that we never knew we needed. This time, it's Ohana.
Does law enforcement down your way offer ID kits for cats? I can't say how effective it has been here, but between the plate and the kit, some deterrence might result. We figure it might come in handy in various spots in California where our out-of-state plates scream "take me!"
https://www.washoesheriff.com/outreach/press_releases/2022-83-Washoe-County-Sheriffs-Office-announces-catalytic-converter-theft-deterrent-program.php
The police encourage people to have their VIN etched into the convertor. It's helpful in theory, but they have to make a bust to return your convertor to you, and honestly, I've never heard of anyone getting their cat back. The thieves sell them and they're melted down for the precious medals inside, so usually once it's gone it's gone.
1. Yes. Roll the credits.
2. I have not faced a decision where all the options sucked yet. Will keep you posted.
3. I believe Michael Winslow is in Cameo and his fee is reasonable. https://www.cameo.com/michaelwinslow
4. I don't live in L.A. but I'd still find a way to vote for Jon.
5. Fun fact, I actually worked at Carvana and saw Dave Grohl playing pickle ball at the office all the time.
Gotta download Cameo and see if Michael Winslow will help. Thanks for the tip!