Yoga hurts. I meditate every day in the morning whilst waiting for the Keurig. Thoughts don’t intrude and I’m completely centered on “hurry the hell up”. Oh yeah and the aroma. Does that count?
Now for some reason I have a craving for an apple fritter whilst sitting on a plank bench.
I feel that line "Inconsiderate Yogi isn't the distraction, I'm the distraction." When I go camping and someone in the campground is being noisy way too late into the evening, it's not necessarily their noise that keeps me from falling asleep, but my fuming inner rage that someone is being inconsiderate at a campground.
Oh I can relate. The National Parks campgrounds are occasionally run by lazy jerks who shirk their duties. Ohanapacosh is one… One night, when everyone was cheek by jowl, circling repeatedly because half the loops were closed in high season (didn’t wanna clean all the bathrooms?), there were a bunch of drunken yahoos howling late into the night. Where were the hosts? A hundred guests suffered these fools.
If there’s one sound that will jar one out of the deepest ‘meditation’ it’s a liquor bottle hitting the rocks of the campfire. They were across from the bathroom; in the morning I noticed all the fancy SUVs had been keyed.
A middle burrito? Defiance. Rebellion. A pure soul in a corrupt world. I’m beyond down.
1. Things can be better. Nudge it that way.
2. Some people see their empty water bottles, and the progress of twenty other humans, and choose the bottle. One day, we may have to stake them like vampires.
3. Being present is far and away my weakness. My brain drifts across space and time like a dimensional drag racer.
4. Enter the zone of pure tracking insanity, and the fritter can be a planned asset.
"People. They're the worst!" -Seinfeld. Not you, not me, not everyone reading this, but, you know, PEOPLE. They know who they are.
Please make The Distraction 1. Your hip-hop performer name 2. Your DC Comics super villain and/or hero name 3. Your cyber-punk noir slacker PI character name. 4. All of the above
I am almost always my own distraction - loved this piece. Nice pivot from the woman -- who knows what her story might have been -- to figuring out that your own mind was the culprit. Been thinking a lot about this lately myself. It's a struggle to remain present which is why I loved the last paragraph of this post so much!
As for the rest of your questions? I am code-less it seems. Just very judgmental. I have no idea about the ratio of plank time to apple fritter. I never make the plank last longer than 45 seconds and I don't really like apple fritters. As for people? Well, to paraphrase Michael Estrin, people are funny.
You might be the distraction when you're comparing yourself to hoe much more handsome the other yogis are but you are NOT the distraction when it came to that awful woman
No, no, no. That woman needs to be told in no uncertain terms her behavior is unacceptable.
This is why my alter ego is Cattleprod Man. Wherever there is some person behaving monstrously, Cattleprod Man sweeps in, gives them one warning, add them zaps the living shite out of them.
My code? I heard it in a song over 30 years ago by John McCutcheon: Don't hurt each other and clean up your mess.
I've not had much luck staying in the moment when in a class, but I have found that Yoga Nidra and Daring to Rest are great for restoration. At least for me, anyway. Thanks for the post, great as always!
1. Secret code, only given out if you follow the bread crumbs.
2. MOST people aren't worth your time. How to know? Give it five minutes then bail.
3. Off on a cloud. Hey. You. Get off ... yadda yadda yadda.
4. Why plank away when you can fritter the time, I say
5. All distraction, but this is fascinating since I was part of Zen Buddhist sangha for a bit in my 30s. Wrote a long-form piece on attending a weekend retreat where I slept in the zendo in the company of bats. Short version: bats terrify me. They do distraction VERY WELL.
I went to my first class in 12 years yesterday. I’ve been fighting the resistance for exactly that long after giving up on a decade-long practice before I got my knees replaced 12 years ago.
I was just trying to not be that ultra-sweaty, hard-breathing and yelping distracted yogi, so I went quietly to the back and suffered in silence.
It was a motherfucker of a first class back. Hot power Hapa for 90 minutes—because of course I’d choose that one. I’ll go back if I ever heal 🙄
I really want an essay on yoga studio gossip. Even if it’s made up.
1. Code— I put the cart back too and also a food item that I decide against in the midst of shopping. I leave a tip for housekeeping at hotels. I must wipe down counters before and after cooking.
Ay ay ay. I would’ve gone bananas with inconsiderate yogi going about her business with not a care in the world. I can only imagine how teacher yogi was having to use every yogi trick in the book not to go full kamakze on her. Actually, that might’ve been ironic and funny.
Forgot the questions. You said doughnut?
Yoga hurts. I meditate every day in the morning whilst waiting for the Keurig. Thoughts don’t intrude and I’m completely centered on “hurry the hell up”. Oh yeah and the aroma. Does that count?
Now for some reason I have a craving for an apple fritter whilst sitting on a plank bench.
1. My code is simple: don’t screw up - if you do, own it and make it right.
2. *shrugs shoulders* My grandmother said, “The whole world is crazy except for you and me. And I’m not sure about you.”
3. According to the great yogis Abbott and Costello, I’m somewhere else.
4. There isn’t enough plank time in this life.
5. My Guru said that if I’m really meditating I won’t be conscious of other people snoring. That applies everywhere.
I feel that line "Inconsiderate Yogi isn't the distraction, I'm the distraction." When I go camping and someone in the campground is being noisy way too late into the evening, it's not necessarily their noise that keeps me from falling asleep, but my fuming inner rage that someone is being inconsiderate at a campground.
Oh I can relate. The National Parks campgrounds are occasionally run by lazy jerks who shirk their duties. Ohanapacosh is one… One night, when everyone was cheek by jowl, circling repeatedly because half the loops were closed in high season (didn’t wanna clean all the bathrooms?), there were a bunch of drunken yahoos howling late into the night. Where were the hosts? A hundred guests suffered these fools.
If there’s one sound that will jar one out of the deepest ‘meditation’ it’s a liquor bottle hitting the rocks of the campfire. They were across from the bathroom; in the morning I noticed all the fancy SUVs had been keyed.
Inner rage leaks out!
A middle burrito? Defiance. Rebellion. A pure soul in a corrupt world. I’m beyond down.
1. Things can be better. Nudge it that way.
2. Some people see their empty water bottles, and the progress of twenty other humans, and choose the bottle. One day, we may have to stake them like vampires.
3. Being present is far and away my weakness. My brain drifts across space and time like a dimensional drag racer.
4. Enter the zone of pure tracking insanity, and the fritter can be a planned asset.
5. You can guess.
"People. They're the worst!" -Seinfeld. Not you, not me, not everyone reading this, but, you know, PEOPLE. They know who they are.
Please make The Distraction 1. Your hip-hop performer name 2. Your DC Comics super villain and/or hero name 3. Your cyber-punk noir slacker PI character name. 4. All of the above
I am almost always my own distraction - loved this piece. Nice pivot from the woman -- who knows what her story might have been -- to figuring out that your own mind was the culprit. Been thinking a lot about this lately myself. It's a struggle to remain present which is why I loved the last paragraph of this post so much!
As for the rest of your questions? I am code-less it seems. Just very judgmental. I have no idea about the ratio of plank time to apple fritter. I never make the plank last longer than 45 seconds and I don't really like apple fritters. As for people? Well, to paraphrase Michael Estrin, people are funny.
One of the most devastating sentences I've ever read, because it's true: You can't out train a bad diet.
Anyway, split the apple fritter with Christina and plank an extra five minutes.
You might be the distraction when you're comparing yourself to hoe much more handsome the other yogis are but you are NOT the distraction when it came to that awful woman
No, no, no. That woman needs to be told in no uncertain terms her behavior is unacceptable.
This is why my alter ego is Cattleprod Man. Wherever there is some person behaving monstrously, Cattleprod Man sweeps in, gives them one warning, add them zaps the living shite out of them.
My code? I heard it in a song over 30 years ago by John McCutcheon: Don't hurt each other and clean up your mess.
I've not had much luck staying in the moment when in a class, but I have found that Yoga Nidra and Daring to Rest are great for restoration. At least for me, anyway. Thanks for the post, great as always!
1. Secret code, only given out if you follow the bread crumbs.
2. MOST people aren't worth your time. How to know? Give it five minutes then bail.
3. Off on a cloud. Hey. You. Get off ... yadda yadda yadda.
4. Why plank away when you can fritter the time, I say
5. All distraction, but this is fascinating since I was part of Zen Buddhist sangha for a bit in my 30s. Wrote a long-form piece on attending a weekend retreat where I slept in the zendo in the company of bats. Short version: bats terrify me. They do distraction VERY WELL.
I went to my first class in 12 years yesterday. I’ve been fighting the resistance for exactly that long after giving up on a decade-long practice before I got my knees replaced 12 years ago.
I was just trying to not be that ultra-sweaty, hard-breathing and yelping distracted yogi, so I went quietly to the back and suffered in silence.
It was a motherfucker of a first class back. Hot power Hapa for 90 minutes—because of course I’d choose that one. I’ll go back if I ever heal 🙄
I really want an essay on yoga studio gossip. Even if it’s made up.
1. Code— I put the cart back too and also a food item that I decide against in the midst of shopping. I leave a tip for housekeeping at hotels. I must wipe down counters before and after cooking.
This is long enough.
Burrito genius! The ends are nothing but tasteless flour tortillas if it’s a wrap. Or deep-fried nirvana…
Or cut it in half.
The code at Rule of Three is simple: “Secure a beverage; don’t be a douchebag; amuse yourself.” No yoga required. . .
I just ate an apple fritter and gained .8 pounds so I’m guessing about 80 planks.
Ay ay ay. I would’ve gone bananas with inconsiderate yogi going about her business with not a care in the world. I can only imagine how teacher yogi was having to use every yogi trick in the book not to go full kamakze on her. Actually, that might’ve been ironic and funny.