My husband’s snoring kept me awake - and made me feel murderous. Then he got a CPAP machine and no longer snores. And then I got a CPAP machine too (mask over nose) and also sleep more soundly (I'm 72). The apparatus seems so odd at first but then you get used to it. I highly recommend!
My bf snores so loudly, we slee separately … we have tried letting me fall asleep first but he’s so loud I am awakened by it, sleep on his side.. he snores …
I have asked my bf to try the strips and what have you, he refuses… so he gets to sleep in the guest bedroom,
Oh well…
His Father snores 10x’s worse.. so much so that when we would go visit him, we’d bring a tent and sleep in the yard - this is not a lie.
Here’s the best .., one time visiting him, I got up early. His house backed up to a forest. I was walking in the yard and I heard this noise .. sounded like wild hogs snorting…. I ran to the tent and told my bf, he got up to listen, walked around a few minutes and said … “it’s my Dad snoring…”
1) I do not snore, but we have a youngish child. I am a burnt out mom. We are just parents at this point. Meh.
2) Husband snores. I think it got worse after the baby, when the “dad bod” emerged. And drinking makes it worse. He started to sleep on the couch after the kid was born 9 years ago. For the noise of the baby and not disrupting my middle of the night baby feeding shenanigans. The crib was also in our room. He’s tried to sleep in the bed with me but the snoring starts and I am miserable and I go to the couch pissed off. When we travel and have to sleep in the same room I bring an Ativan. I can’t use earplugs, I cannot stand the feeling of them in my ears. We sleep separately and I told him I value my sleep over the tradition of sleeping together just because we are “married”. He can come back when he goes to the dr to solve the issue. He won’t consider it.
3) bagels are the best. Cinn raisin all the way. With peanut butter and maybe some cinn in top with banana slices if I go ultimate beast mode. Lazy mode is sourdough with butter.
4) in my day, it was called “applications” and we had to load up a website and guess what version we needed -what is x32 vs x64! Why won’t windows 3.1 load without styling win.exe in that black dos 6 screen? (I could grandpa Simpson this all day long) I shake my cane at all of you young’uns.
5) the medical malpractice lawsuits, man. We’d have to sign a waiver.
lol. My bf from a lifetime or two agai worked in it (help desk) and he said the number thing he told people to do is to turn off the computer and reset it. Most did not know where the power button was. 🤦♀️
Poor IT folks. They have to get tired of saying the same thing over and over again. Also “I’ll need the number on your computer. No, that’s the monitor’s number. There should be another number….”
Ohhhhh - this post of yours is quite a trauma-inducer. My partner used to snore really, really badly.
{edited: sorry for sounding so serious and not writing this down in a funny way - this is proof of how bad sleep deprivation due to a snoring partner can be.) ;-) >> It really affected our relationship in a mega enormous way (I am not exaggerating). He went to see a doctor, had some sort of nose operation (yes! thank you doctor and him for undergoing it!). He now snores a lot less, but every time he does still wake me up with it (lying on his back + having drunk + being slightly overweight), it really makes a tiny dent in my willingness to ever move in together. (We have a long-distance relationship.) The fact that made me angriest of all in the beginning, is that he does not realize how loud he snores - so let me please add that I think it's great you are taking this seriously and not telling Christina she is the oversensitive one and needs to buy different ear plugs. And I hope the APAP helps!! (I only knew of CPAP's and those did not sound like the miracle cure for everyone).
Thank you for this comment! I think you're right that this is a big deal for a relationship. If you think about a day as 8 hours working, 8 hours doing other stuff, and 8 hours sleeping, then this issue affects 1/3 of our time, plus that third has a big effect on the rest of the day.
The nurse lied to you. My CPAP definitely has an app. Also, there is a TON of fine print beyond “it helps you breathe”.
Things like: CPAP works by inflating you like a damn balloon, so especially at the beginning your chest aches as most of us have never experienced that and muscles are not accustomed to it.
Or that mask fit is crucial, but there are a bewildering array of styles and sizes. From the nostril pokers, to the nose cups, to the full darth vader.
It took me a while to learn that I didn’t need the extra water and could turn off the humidifier heat and run with an empty tank. That rescued me from waking with swamp nose.
If you had trouble with the chest sensor and the wire and finger monitor, which I totally get as I did too, then this is going to be frustrating at first. Stick with it and persevere as the results are truly worth it. I am excited for you if you feel anything like the quality of life improvement that me and my wife experienced once we were actually sleeping without struggling to breathe.
One I had been using my CPAP and doing better, I started to notice my wife also snored and she got a sleep test too. Now we have matching machines.
Plus one thousand on the lack of need for the humidifier. Not keeping a rain forest growing in your mask also cuts down on the need to run your mask through the mask ruining cleaner every morning.
If your mask blows you up like a balloon, you need to reprogram your machine with the app the DME uses. Not the one for consumers.
I think you're right about the gen-z code. I'm all for slang, but zoomers and alphas have some really unhinged slang and I so I live in fear that any word or emoji I use might have some alternative meaning that's really offensive.
I use to snore really badly. It was so bad my wife use to ask me to let her fall asleep first. Problem was, I also fall asleep really quickly. And when that happened, and she could’t sleep, she’d pinch my nose and I would wake up in a panic. To save my marriage and to prevent my wife from killing me, I got the message and slept in the second bedroom.
I feel your wife's pain. My wife snores. Loudly. She's a small woman who sounds like large wildebeest at night. A large wildebeest giving birth. To a larger wildebeest. She goes through a plethora of animal noises in her sleep: wild boars, lions, elephants. I actually find it really impressive.
In the end I got some quality ear plugs and I race her to sleep. It's the only thing I've found that works.
1. No (well maybe an occasionally very soft pffttt, which I assure you is very lady-like.
2. Husband snores, but addressing his underlying allergies helped a lot, so now it is periodic. If I lose too many nights of sleep I do go into another room. But since I get up to pee about 5 times a night, which he kindly doesn't complain about, I figure it behooves me not to make too much of a big deal about those nights (smile.)
3. looking forward to award winning article on bagel place.
4.Sort of, but prefer my husband to hold my hand while I do it.
5. Good question, but maybe better one, why don't emergency rooms all hire a full time comedian?
I don’t snore but I do have a sort of sleep waking problem where I’m convinced something is happening that isn’t and my husband has to tell me I’m just asleep. Maybe there is a machine for that too 🤔
You might consider getting tested. The test I took measures the number of times per hour that you wake up. You don't necessarily know that you're awake, but in my case, I wake up 19 times per hour, which really takes a toll on the rest of your life.
They didn't say this, but I got the sense that if I had really bad sleep apnea, they would've asked me to do the sleep lab. I think the home version is relatively simple, cheap way to screen and assess. Also, I think the only money I paid out of pocket here was my usual doctor's copay. Obviously, plans vary, but it's not like we have a Cadillac plan, so if mine covered it 100% there's a good chance other plans do too.
1. I am, embarrassingly, the snorer in the household. It's finally at the point where, when he tries to move me, I don't strike back. He was afraid to wake me because it often turned violent.
2. He's not a regular snorer. When he does snore, I ALWAYS wake him up to point it out. I don't think he'll leave me. He can't cook.
3. Butter with mine, please
4. I downloaded the pandemic prevention app in 2019 and asked for my money back.
5. I'm from Canada where we have health care rather than health insurance. Comedy clubs here haven't gotten into the socialized medicine thing yet.
Sleeping in separate rooms is fine. It's easy to do and the dog will adapt.
You may have some doctor prescribe an MRI. Not to scare you but since the onset is sudden, there could be some changes in your throat structures that you need to be aware of ASAP.
Also, you may have inherited redundant tissue in your throat that is, forgive me, sagging. It can be trimmed with local or general anesthesia and it could be a solid option depending on exam results. The procedure is called a "UP2" and took my then-husband from a nine out of ten on the Richter scale of snoring down to a three or so.
Get thee a very experienced ENT if the APAP does not help. Don't put your brain through the low oxygen episodes of snoring if it can be avoided. Snoring can be associated with some stuff you don't want happening.
Yes! I’m excited for your post about mask options. Plan to be Goldilocks for awhile. One mask may poke you in the nose (oh so softly) and come loose when you move your head, shooting jets of air across your cheek. Another could be impossible to fit on the tiny ledge between your nose and upper lip. Each one will make Christina laugh. Remind her, “Watch it, woman, or I’ll order the 2-for-1 couples’ special.” And most of all, persist. If APAP doesn’t love you, try CPAP. There are a lot of options, but it only takes one to work. If you’re unlucky, the first thing you try will work like poppies on Dorothy and Toto. That would be a real loss to comedy.
Looking forward to welcoming you to the jolly club of folk who sleep sweetly as long as elves keep pumping a bellows at them. But seriously, I’m in the “CPAP saved my life” group. It’s worth a noble try.
1. I used to, then I had kids and stopped sleeping, so the situation resolved itself.
2. No and definitely not. I may not sleep, but if I left my wife I wouldn't sleep and I'd be homeless.
3. C.R.E.A.M.
4. First, you completely disrobe, then...
5. BIG INSURANCE and BIG COMEDY are colluding.
Hopefully, the anti-trust regulators will wake up to the collusion between big insurance and big comedy.
My husband’s snoring kept me awake - and made me feel murderous. Then he got a CPAP machine and no longer snores. And then I got a CPAP machine too (mask over nose) and also sleep more soundly (I'm 72). The apparatus seems so odd at first but then you get used to it. I highly recommend!
Wow, this comment started out murderous, but by the end both of you were getting a good night's sleep. Happy for both of you, Debbie!
… there’s even a “mini” travel CPAP which has a rechargeable battery!
My bf snores so loudly, we slee separately … we have tried letting me fall asleep first but he’s so loud I am awakened by it, sleep on his side.. he snores …
I have asked my bf to try the strips and what have you, he refuses… so he gets to sleep in the guest bedroom,
Oh well…
His Father snores 10x’s worse.. so much so that when we would go visit him, we’d bring a tent and sleep in the yard - this is not a lie.
Here’s the best .., one time visiting him, I got up early. His house backed up to a forest. I was walking in the yard and I heard this noise .. sounded like wild hogs snorting…. I ran to the tent and told my bf, he got up to listen, walked around a few minutes and said … “it’s my Dad snoring…”
For what it's worth, I don't think the strips will help. But it sounds like you found a solution :)
1) I do not snore, but we have a youngish child. I am a burnt out mom. We are just parents at this point. Meh.
2) Husband snores. I think it got worse after the baby, when the “dad bod” emerged. And drinking makes it worse. He started to sleep on the couch after the kid was born 9 years ago. For the noise of the baby and not disrupting my middle of the night baby feeding shenanigans. The crib was also in our room. He’s tried to sleep in the bed with me but the snoring starts and I am miserable and I go to the couch pissed off. When we travel and have to sleep in the same room I bring an Ativan. I can’t use earplugs, I cannot stand the feeling of them in my ears. We sleep separately and I told him I value my sleep over the tradition of sleeping together just because we are “married”. He can come back when he goes to the dr to solve the issue. He won’t consider it.
3) bagels are the best. Cinn raisin all the way. With peanut butter and maybe some cinn in top with banana slices if I go ultimate beast mode. Lazy mode is sourdough with butter.
4) in my day, it was called “applications” and we had to load up a website and guess what version we needed -what is x32 vs x64! Why won’t windows 3.1 load without styling win.exe in that black dos 6 screen? (I could grandpa Simpson this all day long) I shake my cane at all of you young’uns.
5) the medical malpractice lawsuits, man. We’d have to sign a waiver.
Feel free to "grandpa Simpson it" all you like, Erica! I'm here for it!
Erica your answer to question 4 is triggering my PTSD
lol. My bf from a lifetime or two agai worked in it (help desk) and he said the number thing he told people to do is to turn off the computer and reset it. Most did not know where the power button was. 🤦♀️
Poor IT folks. They have to get tired of saying the same thing over and over again. Also “I’ll need the number on your computer. No, that’s the monitor’s number. There should be another number….”
Ohhhhh - this post of yours is quite a trauma-inducer. My partner used to snore really, really badly.
{edited: sorry for sounding so serious and not writing this down in a funny way - this is proof of how bad sleep deprivation due to a snoring partner can be.) ;-) >> It really affected our relationship in a mega enormous way (I am not exaggerating). He went to see a doctor, had some sort of nose operation (yes! thank you doctor and him for undergoing it!). He now snores a lot less, but every time he does still wake me up with it (lying on his back + having drunk + being slightly overweight), it really makes a tiny dent in my willingness to ever move in together. (We have a long-distance relationship.) The fact that made me angriest of all in the beginning, is that he does not realize how loud he snores - so let me please add that I think it's great you are taking this seriously and not telling Christina she is the oversensitive one and needs to buy different ear plugs. And I hope the APAP helps!! (I only knew of CPAP's and those did not sound like the miracle cure for everyone).
So, sleep well!! Together!
Thank you for this comment! I think you're right that this is a big deal for a relationship. If you think about a day as 8 hours working, 8 hours doing other stuff, and 8 hours sleeping, then this issue affects 1/3 of our time, plus that third has a big effect on the rest of the day.
Been there, avoided murdering that. Keep your own place!
I know how to down apps (ex. mozzarella sticks, jalapeño poppers) and I know how to load them (ask a waitress at TGI Fridays).
You're an app-legend!
The nurse lied to you. My CPAP definitely has an app. Also, there is a TON of fine print beyond “it helps you breathe”.
Things like: CPAP works by inflating you like a damn balloon, so especially at the beginning your chest aches as most of us have never experienced that and muscles are not accustomed to it.
Or that mask fit is crucial, but there are a bewildering array of styles and sizes. From the nostril pokers, to the nose cups, to the full darth vader.
It took me a while to learn that I didn’t need the extra water and could turn off the humidifier heat and run with an empty tank. That rescued me from waking with swamp nose.
If you had trouble with the chest sensor and the wire and finger monitor, which I totally get as I did too, then this is going to be frustrating at first. Stick with it and persevere as the results are truly worth it. I am excited for you if you feel anything like the quality of life improvement that me and my wife experienced once we were actually sleeping without struggling to breathe.
One I had been using my CPAP and doing better, I started to notice my wife also snored and she got a sleep test too. Now we have matching machines.
Plus one thousand on the lack of need for the humidifier. Not keeping a rain forest growing in your mask also cuts down on the need to run your mask through the mask ruining cleaner every morning.
If your mask blows you up like a balloon, you need to reprogram your machine with the app the DME uses. Not the one for consumers.
Thank you for this comment, David! Really appreciate you sharing your CPAP experience.
1) I don't think so. But I'm certain I thrash and mumble incoherently (vivid dreamer). As for my relationship, see 2)
2) My husband snores. He sleeps where I don't. Romance is at an all time high. ❤️🔥
3) I'd use a cream cheese emoji if one existed, but it would probably be gen z code for something offensive.
4) I loathe apps and hunt them for sport
5) Laughter is the only drug I take. That and wine, which fuels my night-thrash mumbles. 🥂
I think you're right about the gen-z code. I'm all for slang, but zoomers and alphas have some really unhinged slang and I so I live in fear that any word or emoji I use might have some alternative meaning that's really offensive.
I use to snore really badly. It was so bad my wife use to ask me to let her fall asleep first. Problem was, I also fall asleep really quickly. And when that happened, and she could’t sleep, she’d pinch my nose and I would wake up in a panic. To save my marriage and to prevent my wife from killing me, I got the message and slept in the second bedroom.
Christina pinched my nose a few times. I thought she was trying to murder me.
I feel your wife's pain. My wife snores. Loudly. She's a small woman who sounds like large wildebeest at night. A large wildebeest giving birth. To a larger wildebeest. She goes through a plethora of animal noises in her sleep: wild boars, lions, elephants. I actually find it really impressive.
In the end I got some quality ear plugs and I race her to sleep. It's the only thing I've found that works.
Wow, your description of your wife's snoring is chef's kiss! Glad that the earplugs are working.
Thanks man. Love your work too.
1. No (well maybe an occasionally very soft pffttt, which I assure you is very lady-like.
2. Husband snores, but addressing his underlying allergies helped a lot, so now it is periodic. If I lose too many nights of sleep I do go into another room. But since I get up to pee about 5 times a night, which he kindly doesn't complain about, I figure it behooves me not to make too much of a big deal about those nights (smile.)
3. looking forward to award winning article on bagel place.
4.Sort of, but prefer my husband to hold my hand while I do it.
5. Good question, but maybe better one, why don't emergency rooms all hire a full time comedian?
Excellent point! There are a lot of comedians who are either out of working or under-employed. Time to get these funny people to the ER -- stat!
Hysterical, sorry your wife is mad, but still hysterical.
I don’t snore but I do have a sort of sleep waking problem where I’m convinced something is happening that isn’t and my husband has to tell me I’m just asleep. Maybe there is a machine for that too 🤔
You might consider getting tested. The test I took measures the number of times per hour that you wake up. You don't necessarily know that you're awake, but in my case, I wake up 19 times per hour, which really takes a toll on the rest of your life.
Interesting. I'm definitely intrigued to know this can be done at home as I was thinking you still had to go in for a sleep study.
They didn't say this, but I got the sense that if I had really bad sleep apnea, they would've asked me to do the sleep lab. I think the home version is relatively simple, cheap way to screen and assess. Also, I think the only money I paid out of pocket here was my usual doctor's copay. Obviously, plans vary, but it's not like we have a Cadillac plan, so if mine covered it 100% there's a good chance other plans do too.
1. I am, embarrassingly, the snorer in the household. It's finally at the point where, when he tries to move me, I don't strike back. He was afraid to wake me because it often turned violent.
2. He's not a regular snorer. When he does snore, I ALWAYS wake him up to point it out. I don't think he'll leave me. He can't cook.
3. Butter with mine, please
4. I downloaded the pandemic prevention app in 2019 and asked for my money back.
5. I'm from Canada where we have health care rather than health insurance. Comedy clubs here haven't gotten into the socialized medicine thing yet.
I'm just going to spend the rest of the day thinking about the concept of socialized comedy. Thank you for that, Elizabeth!
Sleeping in separate rooms is fine. It's easy to do and the dog will adapt.
You may have some doctor prescribe an MRI. Not to scare you but since the onset is sudden, there could be some changes in your throat structures that you need to be aware of ASAP.
Also, you may have inherited redundant tissue in your throat that is, forgive me, sagging. It can be trimmed with local or general anesthesia and it could be a solid option depending on exam results. The procedure is called a "UP2" and took my then-husband from a nine out of ten on the Richter scale of snoring down to a three or so.
Get thee a very experienced ENT if the APAP does not help. Don't put your brain through the low oxygen episodes of snoring if it can be avoided. Snoring can be associated with some stuff you don't want happening.
Thanks Bonnie, appreciate the concern and the input here!
Yes! I’m excited for your post about mask options. Plan to be Goldilocks for awhile. One mask may poke you in the nose (oh so softly) and come loose when you move your head, shooting jets of air across your cheek. Another could be impossible to fit on the tiny ledge between your nose and upper lip. Each one will make Christina laugh. Remind her, “Watch it, woman, or I’ll order the 2-for-1 couples’ special.” And most of all, persist. If APAP doesn’t love you, try CPAP. There are a lot of options, but it only takes one to work. If you’re unlucky, the first thing you try will work like poppies on Dorothy and Toto. That would be a real loss to comedy.
Looking forward to welcoming you to the jolly club of folk who sleep sweetly as long as elves keep pumping a bellows at them. But seriously, I’m in the “CPAP saved my life” group. It’s worth a noble try.
Thanks Tara! I'm sure there will be a follow-up post about masks and other machine shenanigans.