Great story, laid out like a horror movie with ketchup instead of blood!
During college years I worked at a McDonalds in Buffalo, Nathan’s in Coney Island, and a now-defunct burger place in Brooklyn. Those stories may appear on my ‘stack, but I will give you credit for inspiration, Michael.
I love me a good McDonald’s terror story because there is always something uniquely deep fried about them. I would love to know where Yankee cap was in such a hurry to get to.
Also, if you want a read about a horrid McDonald’s franchise, check out the one that closed in the Rideau Centre in Ottawa, Canada. This place was terrordome when I was in undergrad:
Lol I haven’t lived in Ottawa since I graduated in 2014. I tried to avoid the place if I could but some drunken nights kind of bring you there by fate. It was pure chaos.
1. The creation of robot kiosks to take and manage orders is what's killing fast food restaurants. The robot doesn't care if the place is understaffed with apathetic mutants, and it doesn't care that idle human hands can only handle so much input before they produce output. It also doesn't give a fug if customers are off brand Hulks with hanger issues. The other thing that's killing in person commerce in general is humans. See "off brand Hulks with hanger issues".
2. Thankfully no. But I have worked in plenty of restaurants and retail stores. It's all hell. The public is a menace.
3. Are there good fast-food experiences? I actually went to McDonalds yesterday and was mildly annoyed by the "in process/now serving" misinformation campaign, and mildly perplexed by the fact that my fast-food order took a full 15 minutes to arrive. Like you, I see these experiences as opportunities to gaze in wonder at how fragile and useless our species is. One time my husband went out for Burger King drive-thru and came home with two original chicken sandwiches that had no chicken in them. Just lettuce. That was fun.
4. I like the 2 cheeseburger meal, for nostalgia reasons. But I won't say no to a quarter pounder, McNuggets (sweet and sour) or a classic McChicken sandwich. I also like McDonald's coffee far and above Dunks or Starbucks. And their Frappes (not real coffee, I know) are legit delish.
Where to start with this comment, Meg? OK, let’s talk about the chicken sandwich, hold the chicken. What the hell? How drunk / stoned / burnt out on life do you think the person who made those lettuce specials was? As for the robots, I agree. Dealing with the general public is a front row seat to some really bad human behavior, but I can’t help but think that the more tech we put into retail and quick serve, the worse it’ll be for humanity.
I can't attest to the level of intoxication of our sandwich maker, but I should think the weight of the finished sandwiches alone might have tipped them off. That's the first thing that made me go "huh, something's off."
I once walked into a Dunkin Donuts where there was a kiosk on the counter requesting that I place my order with it. Meanwhile, there were three employees standing around doing nothing (one of whom appeared managerial). No one said hello to me. Then the kiosk told me it was "out of order" and I needed to place my order at another kiosk. There was no other kiosk. I flagged down an employee (they were about two feet from me) and asked for assistance, and they proceeded to pass the baton of "who's going to help this person who dared enter our sanctum of laziness to order the food we serve?"
Here’s where you messed up with that Dunkin. Instead of asking an employee for help, you should’ve just waited, like 10 minutes, for another Dunkin to open up. Seriously, those places multiple like Gremlins.
Especially in New England. I could have just turned around, walked out the door a few paces, and another would have appeared on the horizon. Our friendly neighborhood Dunkin is actually quite friendly. No kiosks. And they have all their iced coffee on taps like beer. I'm not sure that everybody knows my name in there yet, but maybe someday.
"It' not rocket science!" Word spoken by a man who's never cooked his own food.
Granted, the manager should cross train other people into the cooks duty, and he should train his staff better, and he shouldn't treat his customers as if they'll always be there....
Oh, who am I kidding? I'd have walked out upon seeing the line.
it can't be that far to the next fast food joint, can it?
No, the title of "Worst McDonalds in the Known Universe" belongs to the one at the end of Haight Street in San Francisco, across the street from Golden Gate Park. It has been a first-class sh*t-hole my entire life. Please amend your post to reflect this.
Your point is well taken, Myles! Another commenter mentioned that the worst McDonald's is in Toronto, and a few people have said that every McDonald's in Louisiana is really bad. I'm willing to believe that the SF McDonald's you speak of is the worst in the known universe, but I'm also a fact-based guy, so I'm going to apply for a journalism grant, and if I get it, I'll spend the next year or so doing a thorough investigation.
Perhaps this is due to personal bias, having been a wage-slave for years, or maybe it's just because I'm human, but it sure seems like the customers have made that McDonald's the worst one in the universe.
You might be biased, but your point is valid. The overall experience at this McDonald’s sucked, but it’s worth noting that most of the customers just waited patiently while a few assholes made it it all about themselves.
I feel like one thing we could do to make society better would be to compel foodservice as a part of "civil service duty", so everyone has to do a year or two in a restaurant.
I grew up with a lot of wealthy kids. The ones who worked service jobs over the summer at places their parents didn’t own turned out to be way better humans.
I have sympathy for fast food workers, I was one myself in a past summer. And I must say that the patrons are at fault here. McDonald's doesn't sell food, they sell consumable products. Why would you ever go to McDonald's and expect anything of decent quality? Even down to the service.
1. As a small business owner the pain of not finding employees is real. And the one's that do show up aren't the coldest beers in the fridge. But you can't fire them cause ya got no plan B. I would have left. Why add to the chaos? The dude climbing over the counter should have been arrested. And Yankees guy is a blowhard.
2. Not fast food. But a pizza joint. I waited tables until I was pregnant. Then they stuck me behind the bar and taught me how to bartend. This was because "customers don't want to see pregnant servers." But first husband was on the customer side of the bar, drinking my paycheck. So I was not winner winner chicken dinner. The bartending skills served me well throughout the years. I loved waiting tables and bartending. It was like role playing.
3. I've not had a bad experience. But my sister got raw chicken fingers from Jack in the Box. She didn't know till she bit into it. 🤮
4. Cheeseburger, small fries, medium diet. 2 ketchups. I always eat in my parked car. No eating and driving. Drive throughs make me nervous. However, the two Mickey D's I go to are actually very efficient. The one cashier calls me beautiful. That makes me want to drop my change in the Ronald McDonald Hospital Box. Ah, vanity....and sales manipulation....
5. As long as they are white meat, the shape doesn't matter. It's those random, grisly ones that ruin everything.
Raw chicken fingers has me shook. Seriously, I think that would be my last visit to Jack N The Box. Come to think of it, I haven’t been there in years, but thankfully the last time I went the food was cooked.
1. They don't care. There is no other place to go.
2 Yes. I worked at a Burger Chef in the early seventies. They had three flavors of milkshakes, vanilla, strawberry and chocolate. I created a neapolitan milkshake on my break one day by layering the flavors. It was great so I made a sign advertising it and placed it on the counter and suggested it to every customer. It was a success. The next day the manager told me to stop it because they were only allowed to sell what was corporate approved. I will note that the entire chain went out of business just a few years later.
1. I think that Yankees Cap's karma is following him around, like a vengeful Final Destination force of shittiness. The McDonald's simply reshaped itself to match his energy.
2. I haven't. My understanding is that it feels like being robbed and set on fire at the same time. Then trading shifts with someone else getting robbed and set on fire.
3. Food poisoning, KFC. It took me a decade to get back to fried chicken as a category, and I still veer into Popeye's instead.
4. I'm one of those double-fries monsters. The potato speaks to me. No really, it calls to me in the blackest depths of night.
5. I'm trying to read an explanation for this. But I keep blacking out and waking up surrounded by canola oil and feathers. We may not be meant to know.
as a red sox fan i soooo get the yankees cap thing karma is gonna be a stay in hell come september for that bunch yayyyy? heeheee
my small town in south they call it "kentucky fried rat" and that store located on edge of fetid pond so low-lit and eery not even the cops go down there its like a combo of speak-easy and all night laundromat
I would love to see a chart explaining each character’s supposed problem (long wait, no ketchup, wrong order) and the real underlying issue (mother didn’t love him, jilted at the aisle, just diagnosed with cancer).
Your story, albeit true, was also fun to read. I've never been to that particular McDonald's, but on our way to New Orleans last year, we stopped at a Louisiana McDonald's which was the strangest one I've ever been in. The counter was extremely short and cut at an angle, so the waitress (or whatever you'd call her) had to peek out at us to take our order. I've never seen a more depressed order-taker in my life. She looked like she was regretting all the life choices she had ever made, especially the choice to work in this fast-food joint. A man stood next to us with his full order in his hand, but he said he had asked for and was waiting for ketchup. He waited, seemingly as spring turned into summer, then fall, then winter. The only other patron in the restaurant was a young man who started telling us that he had biked all day on the interstate. He had no helmet and his slurred speech made me wonder if he had a few head-busting falls along the way. At least, he had his order. We got our order before the waiting man got his ketchup.
Best opening line of a story I've read in a long time. McChef's kiss.
McThanks!
I thought the same thing. McFistPump.
Great story, laid out like a horror movie with ketchup instead of blood!
During college years I worked at a McDonalds in Buffalo, Nathan’s in Coney Island, and a now-defunct burger place in Brooklyn. Those stories may appear on my ‘stack, but I will give you credit for inspiration, Michael.
Can’t wait to read those stories! Was Nathan’s the original Nathan’s?
Oh, yes.
Great first paragraph. I thought it was real the whole time!🫢. MacWellDone!
McThanks!
I love me a good McDonald’s terror story because there is always something uniquely deep fried about them. I would love to know where Yankee cap was in such a hurry to get to.
Also, if you want a read about a horrid McDonald’s franchise, check out the one that closed in the Rideau Centre in Ottawa, Canada. This place was terrordome when I was in undergrad:
https://www.vice.com/en/article/vb9e94/what-it-really-means-for-the-infamous-ottawa-mcdonalds-to-end-24-hour-service
4,000 incidents in four years! Holy shit, that might just be the worst McDonald’s in the world.
It shut down this past spring and thousands of people gathered as a quasi-memorial service lol
Were you among the bereaved?
Lol I haven’t lived in Ottawa since I graduated in 2014. I tried to avoid the place if I could but some drunken nights kind of bring you there by fate. It was pure chaos.
1. The creation of robot kiosks to take and manage orders is what's killing fast food restaurants. The robot doesn't care if the place is understaffed with apathetic mutants, and it doesn't care that idle human hands can only handle so much input before they produce output. It also doesn't give a fug if customers are off brand Hulks with hanger issues. The other thing that's killing in person commerce in general is humans. See "off brand Hulks with hanger issues".
2. Thankfully no. But I have worked in plenty of restaurants and retail stores. It's all hell. The public is a menace.
3. Are there good fast-food experiences? I actually went to McDonalds yesterday and was mildly annoyed by the "in process/now serving" misinformation campaign, and mildly perplexed by the fact that my fast-food order took a full 15 minutes to arrive. Like you, I see these experiences as opportunities to gaze in wonder at how fragile and useless our species is. One time my husband went out for Burger King drive-thru and came home with two original chicken sandwiches that had no chicken in them. Just lettuce. That was fun.
4. I like the 2 cheeseburger meal, for nostalgia reasons. But I won't say no to a quarter pounder, McNuggets (sweet and sour) or a classic McChicken sandwich. I also like McDonald's coffee far and above Dunks or Starbucks. And their Frappes (not real coffee, I know) are legit delish.
5. 😂🤣
Where to start with this comment, Meg? OK, let’s talk about the chicken sandwich, hold the chicken. What the hell? How drunk / stoned / burnt out on life do you think the person who made those lettuce specials was? As for the robots, I agree. Dealing with the general public is a front row seat to some really bad human behavior, but I can’t help but think that the more tech we put into retail and quick serve, the worse it’ll be for humanity.
I can't attest to the level of intoxication of our sandwich maker, but I should think the weight of the finished sandwiches alone might have tipped them off. That's the first thing that made me go "huh, something's off."
I once walked into a Dunkin Donuts where there was a kiosk on the counter requesting that I place my order with it. Meanwhile, there were three employees standing around doing nothing (one of whom appeared managerial). No one said hello to me. Then the kiosk told me it was "out of order" and I needed to place my order at another kiosk. There was no other kiosk. I flagged down an employee (they were about two feet from me) and asked for assistance, and they proceeded to pass the baton of "who's going to help this person who dared enter our sanctum of laziness to order the food we serve?"
Yikes.
Here’s where you messed up with that Dunkin. Instead of asking an employee for help, you should’ve just waited, like 10 minutes, for another Dunkin to open up. Seriously, those places multiple like Gremlins.
Especially in New England. I could have just turned around, walked out the door a few paces, and another would have appeared on the horizon. Our friendly neighborhood Dunkin is actually quite friendly. No kiosks. And they have all their iced coffee on taps like beer. I'm not sure that everybody knows my name in there yet, but maybe someday.
"It' not rocket science!" Word spoken by a man who's never cooked his own food.
Granted, the manager should cross train other people into the cooks duty, and he should train his staff better, and he shouldn't treat his customers as if they'll always be there....
Oh, who am I kidding? I'd have walked out upon seeing the line.
it can't be that far to the next fast food joint, can it?
It’s the Mojave desert, options for food and a clean bathroom are few and far between.
No, the title of "Worst McDonalds in the Known Universe" belongs to the one at the end of Haight Street in San Francisco, across the street from Golden Gate Park. It has been a first-class sh*t-hole my entire life. Please amend your post to reflect this.
Your point is well taken, Myles! Another commenter mentioned that the worst McDonald's is in Toronto, and a few people have said that every McDonald's in Louisiana is really bad. I'm willing to believe that the SF McDonald's you speak of is the worst in the known universe, but I'm also a fact-based guy, so I'm going to apply for a journalism grant, and if I get it, I'll spend the next year or so doing a thorough investigation.
Thank you. Ranking the objective worstness of our universe's McDonalds is important work that will not be in vain.
Perhaps this is due to personal bias, having been a wage-slave for years, or maybe it's just because I'm human, but it sure seems like the customers have made that McDonald's the worst one in the universe.
You might be biased, but your point is valid. The overall experience at this McDonald’s sucked, but it’s worth noting that most of the customers just waited patiently while a few assholes made it it all about themselves.
I feel like one thing we could do to make society better would be to compel foodservice as a part of "civil service duty", so everyone has to do a year or two in a restaurant.
Pretty much guaranteed empathy-builder.
I grew up with a lot of wealthy kids. The ones who worked service jobs over the summer at places their parents didn’t own turned out to be way better humans.
When are you running for Pres? I'd be willing to help on the campaign trail!
No interest in holding public office. Unless, I get indicted. In which case, I’m running for president.
Yeah, I'm not even running then. Prison sounds better.
But at least we have a platform!
I’m not into McDonalds these days (though if they brought back Super Mario Bros 3 toys 🤔), but I’ll get an Egg McMuffin there if Starbucks isn’t open.
Egg McMuffin for the win!
I have sympathy for fast food workers, I was one myself in a past summer. And I must say that the patrons are at fault here. McDonald's doesn't sell food, they sell consumable products. Why would you ever go to McDonald's and expect anything of decent quality? Even down to the service.
1. As a small business owner the pain of not finding employees is real. And the one's that do show up aren't the coldest beers in the fridge. But you can't fire them cause ya got no plan B. I would have left. Why add to the chaos? The dude climbing over the counter should have been arrested. And Yankees guy is a blowhard.
2. Not fast food. But a pizza joint. I waited tables until I was pregnant. Then they stuck me behind the bar and taught me how to bartend. This was because "customers don't want to see pregnant servers." But first husband was on the customer side of the bar, drinking my paycheck. So I was not winner winner chicken dinner. The bartending skills served me well throughout the years. I loved waiting tables and bartending. It was like role playing.
3. I've not had a bad experience. But my sister got raw chicken fingers from Jack in the Box. She didn't know till she bit into it. 🤮
4. Cheeseburger, small fries, medium diet. 2 ketchups. I always eat in my parked car. No eating and driving. Drive throughs make me nervous. However, the two Mickey D's I go to are actually very efficient. The one cashier calls me beautiful. That makes me want to drop my change in the Ronald McDonald Hospital Box. Ah, vanity....and sales manipulation....
5. As long as they are white meat, the shape doesn't matter. It's those random, grisly ones that ruin everything.
Raw chicken fingers has me shook. Seriously, I think that would be my last visit to Jack N The Box. Come to think of it, I haven’t been there in years, but thankfully the last time I went the food was cooked.
1. They don't care. There is no other place to go.
2 Yes. I worked at a Burger Chef in the early seventies. They had three flavors of milkshakes, vanilla, strawberry and chocolate. I created a neapolitan milkshake on my break one day by layering the flavors. It was great so I made a sign advertising it and placed it on the counter and suggested it to every customer. It was a success. The next day the manager told me to stop it because they were only allowed to sell what was corporate approved. I will note that the entire chain went out of business just a few years later.
3.So many it is hard to choose just one.
4. Filet o Fish and fries.
5.Breasts and thighs
Your neopolitan shake was a great idea! Too bad those fools at corporate didn’t recognize your culinary genius.
I like the answer but, uh, what was the question on #5?
Why chicken mcnuggets have two distinct shapes.
ha ha ha!
1. I think that Yankees Cap's karma is following him around, like a vengeful Final Destination force of shittiness. The McDonald's simply reshaped itself to match his energy.
2. I haven't. My understanding is that it feels like being robbed and set on fire at the same time. Then trading shifts with someone else getting robbed and set on fire.
3. Food poisoning, KFC. It took me a decade to get back to fried chicken as a category, and I still veer into Popeye's instead.
4. I'm one of those double-fries monsters. The potato speaks to me. No really, it calls to me in the blackest depths of night.
5. I'm trying to read an explanation for this. But I keep blacking out and waking up surrounded by canola oil and feathers. We may not be meant to know.
I think you made a good choice by switching to Popeye's. I'm a fan of the fried chicken category, but the Colonel never sat right with me.
I'm glad it at least provided an "away" team for the chicken sandwich meme wars. I'm fond of collective shitposting.
as a red sox fan i soooo get the yankees cap thing karma is gonna be a stay in hell come september for that bunch yayyyy? heeheee
my small town in south they call it "kentucky fried rat" and that store located on edge of fetid pond so low-lit and eery not even the cops go down there its like a combo of speak-easy and all night laundromat
a combo of speak-easy and all night laundromat is a vivid and terrifying thing.
I would love to see a chart explaining each character’s supposed problem (long wait, no ketchup, wrong order) and the real underlying issue (mother didn’t love him, jilted at the aisle, just diagnosed with cancer).
Maybe you finally found the use case for Augmented Reality. Slip these goggles on and you can see the underlying issues of the people all around you.
you and your charts!!!! lol i wonder how many feral cats lurking around that nuke plant on lake ontario? you dont really take vacations.....
Sir, this is a Wendy's.
Goodness. Top-class stuff.
Your story, albeit true, was also fun to read. I've never been to that particular McDonald's, but on our way to New Orleans last year, we stopped at a Louisiana McDonald's which was the strangest one I've ever been in. The counter was extremely short and cut at an angle, so the waitress (or whatever you'd call her) had to peek out at us to take our order. I've never seen a more depressed order-taker in my life. She looked like she was regretting all the life choices she had ever made, especially the choice to work in this fast-food joint. A man stood next to us with his full order in his hand, but he said he had asked for and was waiting for ketchup. He waited, seemingly as spring turned into summer, then fall, then winter. The only other patron in the restaurant was a young man who started telling us that he had biked all day on the interstate. He had no helmet and his slurred speech made me wonder if he had a few head-busting falls along the way. At least, he had his order. We got our order before the waiting man got his ketchup.
Wow, that does sound like a weird McDonald’s, especially the bicycle guy.