52 Comments

I am sorry, but no one really looks good in a turtleneck.

Also, “thought followers,” haha!

I wore a Fitbit for a year and it really helped but like you I felt suspicious and when it finally broke and I did not replace it, I was quite relieved. Why? I need to give this some thought.

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I should probably write more about thought followers. I’ve done a lot of ghostwriting work over the years for corporate types and it’s usually called thought leadership because, well, everyone wants to be a thought leader, I guess. But doing all that thought leadership, I always wondered if there were really any thought followers out there.

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If you do a workshop on how to be a thought follower I would join. and follow you to the end of the earth. Lead us, oh head thought follower, into the promised land (leading?)

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Maybe, and I'm just spit-balling here, this is the future of live comedy?? Instead of stand-up or improv or sketch performances, we offer workshops that purport to be like Ted Talks with breakout sessions, only they're actually just gatherings for silliness where nothing is learned, but a good time is had by all. Thoughts? Follows?

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this is Revolutionary. I would be careful though you are starting to sound more and more like a thought leader - I know how tempting it is to try and go from a F to and L but what the heck i'm just a lowly follower ur the leader of followers so u lead follow the way and I'll follow follow along.

I'll reach out to Largo and get us a date on the books

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Good point! I'll need a spotter. Whenever you see me starting to lead, please remind me to follow!

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I'm definitely "borrowing" this. :-)

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I think that makes you a thought borrower.

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We are an anti-Apple household because I am an authoritarian husband and father that loves to suck the joy out of everyone around me. I also can't justify spending $4k on 4 phones for the entire family when my first car cost half that. I'm also realizing I'm an old man who likes to use Situation Normal comments as an opportunity to vent. You are my therapy now, Michael.

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Brian, I really appreciate the old man energy you bring to the comments. And I’ll promise you this, as far as therapy goes, Situation Normal has very reasonable copay’s. Although as I type this I recall that you’re Canadian (right?) so maybe the copay concept is foreign to you--in which case, you are soooo fortunate!

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I'm American, which means I'm familiar with copays and the fact that I will have to comment five thousand more times before the deductible is paid. Old man out.

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YES!

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1. POS, then the Razr. 2. I did own an Apple Watch, but I deposited it inside a murky river in Southern Missouri and decided not to re-up. 3. Prey. Also, I have a rule of putting my phone in airplane mode and leaving it in another room while watching movies. 4. Homo sapiens. 5. I reject the premise that turtlenecks were ever cool.

Apologies in advance for the self-promo, but as a PSA you might want to read this piece from my archive: https://agowani.substack.com/p/hey-pal-looks-like-youve-totally

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Do you think Tim Cook will lead a team of diver to the bottom of that river to retrieve your watch and gather more data. I’d like to think that a Steve Zissou-style operation is about to get underway.

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If it'd get me to buy another watch, I have no doubt he would!

It's a double-edged sword. On the one hand, I loved the Apple Watch, in particular the ability to ride my bike without a phone and answer/receive calls on the go. On the other, I found myself becoming a slave to the activity meter. And the small screen just proved to be another distraction. Ultimately, I'm "glad" I lost it. I still exercise plenty and divorcing myself from screens, no matter how small, is never a bad idea.

My advice is to take the watch off every now and then and leave it behind too. That'll help you rely on it only when it really counts.

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That’s good advice! Thank you!

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A very provocative post! Forget turtlenecks. They reflect bad taste but are benign. Let's seriously think about this though: 1.) "...People are so obsessed with totalitarian government ...that they reflexively reject any government intrusion into their lives, while simultaneously, and thoughtlessly, opening the door for private companies, like Apple, to own their asses from cradle to grave." Why do we do that? 2.) How did the human race survive so long without tracking our health and wellness minute by minute? Just wondering... Mostly I am an avid reader of Situation Normal because you make me laugh Michael. Sometimes, you making me think. Thank you.

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Thank you, Sharron! While Orwell wasn’t the main thrust of this post, you picked up on a topic that’s been bouncing around in my mind for years. Maybe someday I’ll sit down and write the Orwell essay I’ve been meaning to write.

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Yes please do!

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I look forward to that.

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1. First mobile phone: AT&T 3810 bought as a pair for my Buddy and me. We were definitely cooler for it. And poorer; those rates! Eventually, we just carried them around without using them. (We were usually hanging out together anyway.)

2. I no longer have an Apple Watch. I do wear a Fitbit. Better battery life. Same health tracking. But I’m not sure I need it. Or want it. I also wear a Steinhart Ocean One automatic dive watch, which is my preference.

3. The Greatest Beer Run Ever. Last night. Plus the final episode of The Patient on Hulu. Also last night.

4. Oyster forks. Because they’re too delicate looking and they make regular forks feel inadequate.

5. A Steve McQueen renaissance. Or someone marketing the “tactleneck” for great secret agents.

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Steve McQueen could make anything cool, even an oyster fork.

I really want to see The Greatest Beer Run Ever.

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Really really good,happy go lucky and a breath of fresh air,thanks for the bingo mind change....instantaneous, cheers

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Thank you! Hope you keep reading!

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Haha. You’ve gone to the dark side! I draw the line on the Apple Watch since I don’t want to be tethered to a piece of tech. The idea of it buzzing/ringing/vibrating on my wrist makes me twitchy - think it’s because of my line of work ;).

Turtlenecks will be back - give it another 10 years. It’s surprising to me what styles come back.

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You’re right. I have gone over to the Dark Side. Maybe I’ll get to meet Vader, though. And maybe, just maybe, he’ll be sporting a turtleneck n

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oh, man, my first several phones were nokia bar phones. solid as keith richards' riffage! never broke one, just the batteries would go. but when texting got big, i needed to move into alpha-numerics. i'm glad to hear that you are not chained to your phone. i would not un-invent the smartphone, they're pretty handy, and i don't do the social media thing anymore, so i'm good, but man, can we un-invent the turtleneck? first of all, i am a tad...more-to-love, shall we say? i could never rock a turtleneck. and if i have no use for it, why should anybody else? and in the immortal words of the immortal-i-hope mitch hedberg, "wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day."

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I feel seen by everything in this comment. Also Mitch Hedberg❤️

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my first phone was the nokia brick and i was so good at snake I was the best in the world many said this many can confirm it

i read this excited for you to tell me in no uncertain terms that it was time to get an apple watch but YOU MADE IT COMPLICATED. I am worried that having a mini phone on my wrist will make me way more addicted to all of it. Right now my strategy is to turn off all my notifications for everything - texts emails everything - and then obsessively check all those things anyways because how else would I know if anyone contacted me. It is healthy and I am well!

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It’s an honor to have the Snake World Champ commenting on this post. I believe you’re the first world champ of anything to comment on situation normal. You’re also the first world champ I’ve ever put into a complicated situation. Sorry. If it helps, I don’t obsessively check the watch because I don’t really love doing most of the things you can do on it. And I am keeping the phone in the other room. So it feels like this is working??? And like you, and many others in the comments, I feel this is all healthy and I am well. 👍📲⌚️

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1. Nokia Flip -- indestructable

2. Early Apple owner -- hate the walled garden -- nothing in last 10+ years -- have a $40 smart/fitness watch 7 day battery -- works great doesn't need a $1000 phone to "synch"

3. I always turn on Do not Disturb or turn off altogether

4. Facebook

5. Turtlenecks never cool, always creepy except for sailors in the 1800s

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Which watch do you have?

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Wyze -- https://www.wyze.com/products/wyze-watch; sleep, exercise; goals; phone synch; swimmable; cheap

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I swore I would never get an iPhone, that I was loyal to android, that I wasn't a sheep. And then I broke and got an iPhone and it literally owns me. I'm clearly, clearly going to get an Apple Watch. Baaaa.

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It’s funny that we associate one brand with following the heard, and the other brand with independence, I guess. But I’m pretty sure both Google and Apple think of all of us as sheep.

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I saw Howl’s Moving Castle in a theatrical re-release on Wednesday, so I was phoneless. But then last night I watched the Babadook alone in my apartment and definitely used live-reacting to it on my Instagram as a way to curb to the fear lol.

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Haha! Yeah, a scary movie might be a good reason to keep that phone handy!

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I hadn’t worn a watch since childhood because they always stopped working within a few months. Maybe because the magnetic waves in my body would affect the inner workings, although more likely because I banged them on every corner of my life.

I got the first Apple Watch because I was working, traveling, the kids were out of college so I had money, and I loved my other Apple products. I wore it until the battery pushed the screen off the watch. I got the Series 4 and still wear it most days because I occasionally need a 5 minute timer. I’ll probably wear it until it falls apart also and buy whatever Apple Watch is available then.

Like Susan, I don’t remember my first mobile phone. My boss gave it to me so I could experience the joys of constant connection. He had the idea of integrating a phone into the notebook computers we were designing. The idea of a constantly connected computer was a major win for me. Unfortunately, the company thought the idea of continuing to invest in such a low margin business was bad and sold our business to Acer. What a joyous time that was.

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I think I owned an Acer for six months. It was the longest three years of my life. 😄

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1. I got a Nokia 8290. I wish I still had one that works. No internet, very, very small, and works for phone calls. And snake, amirite?

2. I bought a Virmee VT3+. It does everything I want in a smart watch, and the battery lasts a week. I used it for sleep tracking but it didn't change much day to day and I had no reason to believe it was even remotely accurate. I haven't charged it in months.

3. I watched the Star Trek episode with the black and white cookie people and don't recall looking at my phone.

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When did black turtlenecks stop being cool? I missed the memo!

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Maybe they’re still cool / eternally cool?? I dunno. I’m not an authority on cool. What I do know is that I’ve never looked cool in a turtleneck.

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My first mobile phone was the Nokia 3310, aka “The Brick.” It was small and indestructible. So many people have cracked screens today, but you could drop a Nokia 3310 down several flights of stairs, pick it up, and finish your game of Snake. Which is good, because it was only for emergencies!

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They sure don’t make ‘em like they used to!

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Here here! Who doesn’t love a strong, squat phone?

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The stronger and squatter the better! I want a phone that’s an actual red brick, except it’s made out of whatever they make those airplane black boxes out of. That way when I drop it in the toilet, it’ll survive and be able to tell investigators about every mistake I made that led up to that moment.

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I just remember my *second* mobile phone was a ruggedized Panasonic. It had a new-fangled T9 “smart” texting system. And I still have a Sonim orange Land Rover edition ruggedized GSM phone that works. I occasionally do “smart phone detoxes” with it. Also had a Razr flip at some point. But always preferred candy bar style (and also still prefer the iPhone 4 aesthetic (prolly why I’m on an iPhone mini these days). Anyway, FUN QUESTIONS!

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