Airline employee here: You'd be surprised at how often people actually break the doors on the overhead bins. When it happens, they always look shocked (shocked!) that something like that could happen. "But it's always fit before" are famous last words.
That'a a great point! I'm still exciting about the possibility of teleportation, but I'm very nervous if today's airlines end up running that business.
This was a hilariously enjoyable read. I’m enjoying the current reprieve from work travel - I’m not the best strategist/tactician when it comes to seat choosing. 😂
Ahhh! This is my favorite piece from you yet! It reminded me of the time I was taking a midnight greyhound from NYC to Cleveland. I was so happy when no one sat next to me but then just before we set out, a very large lady sat down beside me, unwrapped a huge tuna fish hero sandwich and announced, “I’m a witch!”
When I fly, my method is to stare very intently down the aisle with my neck extended a little higher than normal. Then I sort of nod, and open my eyes wide, and make it look like I'm trying to get the attention of a family member who is looking for me. This works REMARKABLY well. Nobody wants to take a seat if this poor sap is waiting for his wife or kid. It's been more than once where I've been on a "full flight" and ended up with that one last open seat next to me because someone missed the plane.
The most recent time I went to Jamaica was the first time I’d flown after the pandemic started. My mom and I have a routine. We pack, repack, and play music the night before the ass early flight then dress into comfortable shoes for walking the airport and respectable but loose clothing. I had the new addition of a pashmina scarf for insulation and the veiled (tee hee) message that I’m not sociable.
We got on our flight to not much fanfare and fell asleep during the flight. Upon arrival, when deplaning, we noticed what some people in our vicinity were wearing. Feathery eyelashes, stacked jewelry, bright colors, braids down to the back of their knees.
“Is this what people are doing now?” Odd to feel underdressed on the plane. We figured the next go round, my mom would wear the sequined jeans we’d packed in the luggage instead.
I always dress for comfort when I fly - jeans and a hoodie. I feel sorry for the people who wear formal stuff like suits, it just seems so uncomfortable.
Airline employee here: You'd be surprised at how often people actually break the doors on the overhead bins. When it happens, they always look shocked (shocked!) that something like that could happen. "But it's always fit before" are famous last words.
😂😂😂I love that they’re basically blaming the bin. You’ve probably heard / witnessed enough wild stories to write a book!
Keeping my fingers crossed for commercial teleportation.
Me too! But something tells me the fees for extra back reassembly will be very high.
*bag
Could be 'back reassembly', depending on how bad the teleport goes.
That'a a great point! I'm still exciting about the possibility of teleportation, but I'm very nervous if today's airlines end up running that business.
As long as UK train companies don't get involved we should be OK.
Are UK train companies worse than US airlines?
Will the colors on your clothes fade or change after reassembly??
I hope so. My wardrobe colors are too bright! Aaah, my sensitive eyes!!!
I assume the basic laundry rules will apply (why? I have no idea!!) but I think you’re good if don’t mix colors with whites.
This was a hilariously enjoyable read. I’m enjoying the current reprieve from work travel - I’m not the best strategist/tactician when it comes to seat choosing. 😂
Thank you, Josh! I’ve missed travel, but I can’t I’ve missed flying.
Ahhh! This is my favorite piece from you yet! It reminded me of the time I was taking a midnight greyhound from NYC to Cleveland. I was so happy when no one sat next to me but then just before we set out, a very large lady sat down beside me, unwrapped a huge tuna fish hero sandwich and announced, “I’m a witch!”
It was a great ride.
A tuna witch! Wow, that's a lot. Glad you enjoyed this one!
When I fly, my method is to stare very intently down the aisle with my neck extended a little higher than normal. Then I sort of nod, and open my eyes wide, and make it look like I'm trying to get the attention of a family member who is looking for me. This works REMARKABLY well. Nobody wants to take a seat if this poor sap is waiting for his wife or kid. It's been more than once where I've been on a "full flight" and ended up with that one last open seat next to me because someone missed the plane.
I like your style! I'm gonna try this some time!
The most recent time I went to Jamaica was the first time I’d flown after the pandemic started. My mom and I have a routine. We pack, repack, and play music the night before the ass early flight then dress into comfortable shoes for walking the airport and respectable but loose clothing. I had the new addition of a pashmina scarf for insulation and the veiled (tee hee) message that I’m not sociable.
We got on our flight to not much fanfare and fell asleep during the flight. Upon arrival, when deplaning, we noticed what some people in our vicinity were wearing. Feathery eyelashes, stacked jewelry, bright colors, braids down to the back of their knees.
“Is this what people are doing now?” Odd to feel underdressed on the plane. We figured the next go round, my mom would wear the sequined jeans we’d packed in the luggage instead.
I always dress for comfort when I fly - jeans and a hoodie. I feel sorry for the people who wear formal stuff like suits, it just seems so uncomfortable.
Hilarious & the best way to start a Monday! Even a story like that can't damped my eagerness to travel again. ;)
Hopefully, you'll have a better boarding number than me. Christina, for example, always gets A1. Or, as she calls it, "A1 Fuck-Off Supreme!"
Oh, snoring...
When my family travels and stay in one room, it's NEVER fun for my mom 'cuz both my dad and I snore...