2. I eat, obviously. I laughed when you said food was out because you weren't hungry. Do you only eat when you're hungry? Amateur. 😂
3. I'm very intrigued by weed gummies. Mostly because I love gummy anything. But I've never ingested cannabis in any form - because I'm that person who listened so closely in D.A.R.E. she missed out on a butt ton of fun her whole life. I'm also cheap/poor and I know the decent ones cost a lot. My dad sometimes has them lying around. Maybe I'll snag one at our next family gathering. I promise to report back on my experience.
4. We got really into Bison Burgers for a while. They were trendy like truffle fries. You can convince yourself they're better than beef burgers because they cost more. Are bison the same as buffalo? I think the difference is bison are domesticated and buffalo are wild. So, we probably did kill all the wild buffalo. Because people suck.
5. I just finished reading "Heartburn" by Nora Ephron. And I'm reading through the entire Ramona Quimby series with my seven-year-old.
I'm trying really hard to change the way I eat, so that I only eat when I'm hungry. It's a work in progress, and that progress is frequently derailed.
As for cannabis, I was wondering if it was legal in New Hampshire, so I googled it, and the answer appears to be yes, but then I started wondering if you have to buy it from the state, like you do with booze in NH, and the answer also seems to be yes. So now I'm thinking people in your shoes must really be going through some serious whiplash because the state went from, "don't do this, it'll fuck up your brain like a friend egg, or something," to "pick up some cannabis gummies on the way home!"
We have CBD stores up the wazoo here. I've never been in one. I worry it'll be like walking into a car dealership. They'll spot my naivete a mile away and try to sell me on a bunch of extraneous accessories. I wonder if they let you "test drive" edibles in the store? 🤔
In California you cannot test drive anything at the dispensary. That’s a big no-no. But CBD is widely available, and pretty much any place that sells smoothies will add a CBD shot for ten bucks. Not worth it, IMO. That said, and I only mention this because of your DARE experience, CBD does not get you high. For that you need THC, which sold only at dispensaries.
CBD is fake, though you might experience a placebo effect. I've never smoked weed but did try THC gummies. Definitely an experience worth trying. Calibrating the dose takes some trial and error. In terms of cost effectiveness gummies are a great value. One $1 gummy is equivalent to 2-4 beers depending on how much of a lush you are.
There are no psychoactive effects to CBD, but I think those who sell it claim some vague effects like feeling relaxed. My personal feeling is that as the cannabis industry grows toward the legal light, some enterprising firms reached for the CBD because it isn't a controlled substance and the margins are unreal. Speaking of money stuff, where are you getting $1 gummies?! Also, Meg, Amran, makes a great point about the trials and errors of dosing. My advice: go slow, take it before you eat, and do something active like taking a walk to speed up activation time.
Footnote: At a recent writer's conference in NYC, I paid $12 for a regular sized Toblerone bar at the hotel. I laughed about it for days, but inside I was crying.
Toblerone is the ultimate travel candy. I don't know why, but I only buy them when I'm at an airport or at a hotel. And I'm always blown away by the price. But then I see them at the market and the price is fine (a little higher than the other candy bars, but not too much higher), and I never buy them.
Who needs a Vegas slot when one can choose to gamble with the Wanna Get Away fare? I can only remember one time where something came up where I felt the need to go against the Southwest vibe and paid for an upgrade. Otherwise, I just roll with it.
If I’m flying solo and have time to kill at the airport, I will either read on my iPad or play with the various Topps apps that take up way too much of my attention (but, I’m disinclined to do anything about that, since I long ago decided it was okay to play with baseball cards as a means of keeping in touch with my inner eleven year old). If I’m flying with others, of course, we’ll kibitz … but, if kibitzed-out … I’ll grab the iPad.
While I don’t partake in either, yes, the friendly skies would be far friendlier.
Alas, the same health issues that made alcohol streng verboten also nixed meat … so, while I never had the chance to try one, buffalo … and cattle … and pigs … (and fowl thanks to a really inconvenient food allergy) are all extinct to me! Though, I’ve tried some Frank’s Red Hot Buffalo Wings sauce on shrimp, so, maybe buffalo do still exist.
I just finished up James Elroy’s Underworld USA trilogy (American Tabloid, The Cold Six Thousand, and Blood’s a Rover) which somehow took me nearly five months to read (which is what happens when I almost always read it near bedtime and had the iPad falling on my chest after dozing off mid-paragraph announcing the end of my broadcast day). Some air travel days would have helped the pace. And, I’m currently reading Jeff Pearlman’s The Last Folk Hero: The Life and Myth of Bo Jackson … occasionally during daylight hours!
I'm hit or miss with Elroy's stuff, but I haven't tackled the Underworld Trilogy. Sounds like it's not the best bedtime reading, but on the other hand, it also sounds like he kept you coming back, so that's a win, right?
Exactly. It was terrible bedtime reading! His style in two of the three was very staccato, so, it was difficult to get a nice flow. But, yeah, he pulled me in enough that I had get the answer to what madness was next.
I read somewhere that his first book was way too long and the publisher wanted him to cut a few hundred pages. They suggested that he chop several subplots. Instead, he cut every connecting / filler word he could. That got him under the word count the publisher wanted, but it also gave Elroy his style, for better or worse.
You... Are Funny. Very. Your mix of keen observation of the exterior world with snarky interior commentary and self-irony makes me laugh. Up- or down- grades notwithstanding, laughter is a holy gift -- like poetry and music, a uniquely human attribute freely offered and shared. Thanks!
99.99.99% of my flying is between Chicago and New Orleans. As such, the only two airlines that offer reasonable times of direct flights (I refuse to spend my day playing musical airports) are United and American.
During the height of The Bug That Shall Not be Named, when my mom was in a nursing home, I was flying to NOLA once a month. Flights were stupid cheap cuz no one wanted to fly and catch the 'Rona, so I got very spoiled on flying first class. FREE BOOZE!
Flying out of Chicago is a bitch. Flying out of NOLA is a joke.
this was a great story michael no doubt about it but wait. BURBANK EXITS FROM THE FRONT AND BACK OF THE PLANE??? LIKE ALL THE PLANES IN BURBANK DO THIS?
You've got a good situation going, Keith! How's the commute from Malaysia to Singapore? In my backpacker days, I took a bus from Malaysia to Singapore, and I think the border crossing took more than an hour. I'm assuming there's a better way for regular commuters?
My theory is that the military junta in Thailand legalised weed - they even sent a plant to every family - because who is going to have a revolution high?
I'd buy that theory, although I wonder if part of the great unraveling of America's war on drugs might've dried up funding for anti-drug campaigns in Thailand, where the authorities have always practiced a policy of, if you can't beat, sell them whatever they want because they're gonna buy it anyway, and we might as well take a cut. Either way, as someone who has been to Thailand three times and plans on going back, I was glad to hear about legalization, and sad to hear about the military junta.
White Boy Shuffle is so damn good! I'm also a fan of Slumberland and The Sellout (obvi). Tuff is the last one on my list, but I'm holding off because it makes me sad to think that I've read all of his books. Paul, if you're reading, write more books!
oohhhh man I SEE how you did that... workin' 2 Ulysses no less into the equation and purple glasses had to be Medea right? was figurin it might get a little more fear and loathing for a minute but h.s.t. (whom i actually saw speak at harvard law school auditorium once in the mid 1980's with a bottle of wild turkey a high ball glass while simply plunking down and opening up the room to questions smirking all the while with that skinny cig and no i wasnt a student but paint spattered roustabout squatting like quasi modo in my own sister's third floor attic room off kitchen of Victorian towards porter sq. after my wife, it was a shotgun wedding of sorts, she was german and got caught workin, ran off with some hippy from boulder co.) anyways over a few gummy s he wudda come back
and tore you up sumthin bad enough so the least of your concerns on flight home wud have been the turbulence.....
btw listening to you and your wife say riff on Top Gun Maverick with sound off might be worth running a ruffle draw on.....id chip in a Ulysses for THAT but id take the fuckin train
My mother-in-law, who fed the Buffalo in Montana, swore she always came out ahead on the slot machines. So I tend to feed the buffalo in her memory, even though my experiments indicate she heavily embellished her claims. Maybe I should only feed the buffalo in Montana, instead of any state? Southwest likewise is a gamble on the cheap flights but tends to have a better pay-out in that I have the same amount of $ at the end of the trip.
Your comment about your mother-law- reminds me of my father, who played the California Lotto and swore that he came out ahead, even though he never won big. I have my doubts, but I don’t play, and as the saying goes, if you can’t win if you don’t play.
I traveled on business for a company that thought my time was worth less than their money. As such, I took an Allison Special from Austin to Las Vegas by way of 6 other airports. Who knew Southwest even had 6 other airports between Texas and Nevada?
I’m a walker and a podcast listener in Airports. Luckily I changed jobs and went to companies too cheap to have travel agents. So I started flying by routes I picked. Still I ended up spending way too many hours in airports throughout my career.
Yes, flying would be much better if cannabis was available in the airport lounges. I’m sure the flight attendants would agree.
After my one foray into the Southern California Porn Industry (a plug for Michael’s NSFW) I’m reading a lot of Florida books. Tim Dorsey, Carl Hiaasen, and Randy Wayne White fill my Kindle app. I started reading on an iPad so that I wouldn’t have to carry a bunch of books on my flights.
Thanks for the plug! I think you're kindle is well stocked! My feeling about Southwest is that if there's an airport between here and there, they're stopping. Also, I gotta say, I think going for a walk on a long layover is one of the best things you can do. Gets the blood flowing again, plus the people watching opportunities are usually excellent at airports.
1. Is Allison right? Are upgrades incompatible with flying Southwest?
I haven't got a clue about flying Southwest. I drove Southwest, which was lovely.
2. What do you do to kill time before your flight?
I read a book and listen to music on my earbuds. I leave a cheap pair in my travel bag.
3. Drinking is a big part of flying between the airport bars and the beverage service. Meanwhile, flying with cannabis is illegal. But wouldn't the friendly skies be a lot friendlier if society let stoners do their thing?
As long as the stoners are chill, duds on meth are in a no-fly zone for me.
4. Are buffalo burgers tasty, or are they really just beef burgers because the buffalo are extinct?
Question: How many buffalo were in the USA pre-colonization?
Answer: None. There were millions of bison that were soon hunted to near extinction in the lower 48. Canada had a few wild herds. Buffalo is good eating, burger, roast or jerked.
You've got quite the reading list! Gonna add some of these to my TBR. As for the flying meth heads, that's a strong hell no from me too. But I would go see a band called The Flying Meth Heads.
2. I eat, obviously. I laughed when you said food was out because you weren't hungry. Do you only eat when you're hungry? Amateur. 😂
3. I'm very intrigued by weed gummies. Mostly because I love gummy anything. But I've never ingested cannabis in any form - because I'm that person who listened so closely in D.A.R.E. she missed out on a butt ton of fun her whole life. I'm also cheap/poor and I know the decent ones cost a lot. My dad sometimes has them lying around. Maybe I'll snag one at our next family gathering. I promise to report back on my experience.
4. We got really into Bison Burgers for a while. They were trendy like truffle fries. You can convince yourself they're better than beef burgers because they cost more. Are bison the same as buffalo? I think the difference is bison are domesticated and buffalo are wild. So, we probably did kill all the wild buffalo. Because people suck.
5. I just finished reading "Heartburn" by Nora Ephron. And I'm reading through the entire Ramona Quimby series with my seven-year-old.
I'm trying really hard to change the way I eat, so that I only eat when I'm hungry. It's a work in progress, and that progress is frequently derailed.
As for cannabis, I was wondering if it was legal in New Hampshire, so I googled it, and the answer appears to be yes, but then I started wondering if you have to buy it from the state, like you do with booze in NH, and the answer also seems to be yes. So now I'm thinking people in your shoes must really be going through some serious whiplash because the state went from, "don't do this, it'll fuck up your brain like a friend egg, or something," to "pick up some cannabis gummies on the way home!"
We have CBD stores up the wazoo here. I've never been in one. I worry it'll be like walking into a car dealership. They'll spot my naivete a mile away and try to sell me on a bunch of extraneous accessories. I wonder if they let you "test drive" edibles in the store? 🤔
In California you cannot test drive anything at the dispensary. That’s a big no-no. But CBD is widely available, and pretty much any place that sells smoothies will add a CBD shot for ten bucks. Not worth it, IMO. That said, and I only mention this because of your DARE experience, CBD does not get you high. For that you need THC, which sold only at dispensaries.
You're so wise. Thank you for clarifying. 😂
CBD is fake, though you might experience a placebo effect. I've never smoked weed but did try THC gummies. Definitely an experience worth trying. Calibrating the dose takes some trial and error. In terms of cost effectiveness gummies are a great value. One $1 gummy is equivalent to 2-4 beers depending on how much of a lush you are.
There are no psychoactive effects to CBD, but I think those who sell it claim some vague effects like feeling relaxed. My personal feeling is that as the cannabis industry grows toward the legal light, some enterprising firms reached for the CBD because it isn't a controlled substance and the margins are unreal. Speaking of money stuff, where are you getting $1 gummies?! Also, Meg, Amran, makes a great point about the trials and errors of dosing. My advice: go slow, take it before you eat, and do something active like taking a walk to speed up activation time.
I'm the opposite of a lush. I'd start by cutting the gummy in quarters. Then eating 1/2 of 1/4. Maybe I could handle that. 🤔
Footnote: At a recent writer's conference in NYC, I paid $12 for a regular sized Toblerone bar at the hotel. I laughed about it for days, but inside I was crying.
Toblerone is the ultimate travel candy. I don't know why, but I only buy them when I'm at an airport or at a hotel. And I'm always blown away by the price. But then I see them at the market and the price is fine (a little higher than the other candy bars, but not too much higher), and I never buy them.
Clearly, it's a status symbol for both of us. The high markup makes it all the more status symbol-y.
How much did you pay for your Toblerone bar?
$10.50.
Pssh. I paid $12. You just got served, sucker.
Who needs a Vegas slot when one can choose to gamble with the Wanna Get Away fare? I can only remember one time where something came up where I felt the need to go against the Southwest vibe and paid for an upgrade. Otherwise, I just roll with it.
If I’m flying solo and have time to kill at the airport, I will either read on my iPad or play with the various Topps apps that take up way too much of my attention (but, I’m disinclined to do anything about that, since I long ago decided it was okay to play with baseball cards as a means of keeping in touch with my inner eleven year old). If I’m flying with others, of course, we’ll kibitz … but, if kibitzed-out … I’ll grab the iPad.
While I don’t partake in either, yes, the friendly skies would be far friendlier.
Alas, the same health issues that made alcohol streng verboten also nixed meat … so, while I never had the chance to try one, buffalo … and cattle … and pigs … (and fowl thanks to a really inconvenient food allergy) are all extinct to me! Though, I’ve tried some Frank’s Red Hot Buffalo Wings sauce on shrimp, so, maybe buffalo do still exist.
I just finished up James Elroy’s Underworld USA trilogy (American Tabloid, The Cold Six Thousand, and Blood’s a Rover) which somehow took me nearly five months to read (which is what happens when I almost always read it near bedtime and had the iPad falling on my chest after dozing off mid-paragraph announcing the end of my broadcast day). Some air travel days would have helped the pace. And, I’m currently reading Jeff Pearlman’s The Last Folk Hero: The Life and Myth of Bo Jackson … occasionally during daylight hours!
I'm hit or miss with Elroy's stuff, but I haven't tackled the Underworld Trilogy. Sounds like it's not the best bedtime reading, but on the other hand, it also sounds like he kept you coming back, so that's a win, right?
Exactly. It was terrible bedtime reading! His style in two of the three was very staccato, so, it was difficult to get a nice flow. But, yeah, he pulled me in enough that I had get the answer to what madness was next.
I read somewhere that his first book was way too long and the publisher wanted him to cut a few hundred pages. They suggested that he chop several subplots. Instead, he cut every connecting / filler word he could. That got him under the word count the publisher wanted, but it also gave Elroy his style, for better or worse.
Ha! Well, that explains ... a lot!
You... Are Funny. Very. Your mix of keen observation of the exterior world with snarky interior commentary and self-irony makes me laugh. Up- or down- grades notwithstanding, laughter is a holy gift -- like poetry and music, a uniquely human attribute freely offered and shared. Thanks!
Thank you, Kathleen! This comment made my day!
2) people watch
Always great fun!
99.99.99% of my flying is between Chicago and New Orleans. As such, the only two airlines that offer reasonable times of direct flights (I refuse to spend my day playing musical airports) are United and American.
During the height of The Bug That Shall Not be Named, when my mom was in a nursing home, I was flying to NOLA once a month. Flights were stupid cheap cuz no one wanted to fly and catch the 'Rona, so I got very spoiled on flying first class. FREE BOOZE!
Flying out of Chicago is a bitch. Flying out of NOLA is a joke.
And yes, TSA Precheck is the best invention EVER.
Musical airports is the worst song, and it usually ends in tears. Glad you were able to visit your mom’s 1st class direct with free booze.
this was a great story michael no doubt about it but wait. BURBANK EXITS FROM THE FRONT AND BACK OF THE PLANE??? LIKE ALL THE PLANES IN BURBANK DO THIS?
All Southwest flights at Burbank exit from the front and the back. Not sure about other airlines but southwest has the most flights outta there.
Wow.
Yeah the border can take anywhere between 10 minutes and 8 hours to cross. Heaven and hell on one bridge.
So we used apps, cameras, Google Maps, and a community WhatsApp group to, as the app says, Beat The Jam.
There is no better way yet, although a light rail connection linked to the Singapore subway (the MRT) is slated to open in 2026.
Glad to see that there are some tech / community workarounds while you wait for the subway to open in 2026.
Your disposal method is the one, true path. You have honored our mushroom-loving forebears.
1. I don’t futz around with upgrades. I walk across the coals of air travel like a penitent monk.
2. Gaming/reading. Switch battery life has made me more literate than ever.
3. I can dream.
4. That whole genre of flesh is impossible to screw up. Otherwise we’d have many, many more vegans.
5. I just read Vol. 1 of “Fuck This Place” and it picks up halfway through.
What if the limits on battery life are actually a conspiracy to boost literacy? Probably not. But what if...
I live in Malaysia and work in Singapore.
Which means the Siambound Jetpack gets mounted whenever possible ...
You've got a good situation going, Keith! How's the commute from Malaysia to Singapore? In my backpacker days, I took a bus from Malaysia to Singapore, and I think the border crossing took more than an hour. I'm assuming there's a better way for regular commuters?
I absolutely stand by my original statement. Have never flown southwest since and don’t plan on it. I am platinum on delta though!
And how are things going with Delta?
My theory is that the military junta in Thailand legalised weed - they even sent a plant to every family - because who is going to have a revolution high?
Stoners are just so .... happy ...
I'd buy that theory, although I wonder if part of the great unraveling of America's war on drugs might've dried up funding for anti-drug campaigns in Thailand, where the authorities have always practiced a policy of, if you can't beat, sell them whatever they want because they're gonna buy it anyway, and we might as well take a cut. Either way, as someone who has been to Thailand three times and plans on going back, I was glad to hear about legalization, and sad to hear about the military junta.
It is a hot debate in the country now with upcoming elections, and with the party currently leading in the polls wanting to de-de-criminalize.
Might need to get your skates on if you want to go back.
Actually, maybe your jetpack.
Do you live in Thailand?
I think buffalo populations recovered and are now farmed sort of like beef. You'd have to investigate deeper, though.
Reading White Boy Shuffle by Paul Beatty. Fucking incredible. Read The Sellout a few years back so going back to Beatty is pure delight.
White Boy Shuffle is so damn good! I'm also a fan of Slumberland and The Sellout (obvi). Tuff is the last one on my list, but I'm holding off because it makes me sad to think that I've read all of his books. Paul, if you're reading, write more books!
oohhhh man I SEE how you did that... workin' 2 Ulysses no less into the equation and purple glasses had to be Medea right? was figurin it might get a little more fear and loathing for a minute but h.s.t. (whom i actually saw speak at harvard law school auditorium once in the mid 1980's with a bottle of wild turkey a high ball glass while simply plunking down and opening up the room to questions smirking all the while with that skinny cig and no i wasnt a student but paint spattered roustabout squatting like quasi modo in my own sister's third floor attic room off kitchen of Victorian towards porter sq. after my wife, it was a shotgun wedding of sorts, she was german and got caught workin, ran off with some hippy from boulder co.) anyways over a few gummy s he wudda come back
and tore you up sumthin bad enough so the least of your concerns on flight home wud have been the turbulence.....
btw listening to you and your wife say riff on Top Gun Maverick with sound off might be worth running a ruffle draw on.....id chip in a Ulysses for THAT but id take the fuckin train
HST at Harvard Law must’ve been a sight to see.
If I had been there I would’ve asked him about Hell’s Angels, which is totally underrated and a really good look at moral panics.
My mother-in-law, who fed the Buffalo in Montana, swore she always came out ahead on the slot machines. So I tend to feed the buffalo in her memory, even though my experiments indicate she heavily embellished her claims. Maybe I should only feed the buffalo in Montana, instead of any state? Southwest likewise is a gamble on the cheap flights but tends to have a better pay-out in that I have the same amount of $ at the end of the trip.
Your comment about your mother-law- reminds me of my father, who played the California Lotto and swore that he came out ahead, even though he never won big. I have my doubts, but I don’t play, and as the saying goes, if you can’t win if you don’t play.
Also, you can't lose if you don't play.
I traveled on business for a company that thought my time was worth less than their money. As such, I took an Allison Special from Austin to Las Vegas by way of 6 other airports. Who knew Southwest even had 6 other airports between Texas and Nevada?
I’m a walker and a podcast listener in Airports. Luckily I changed jobs and went to companies too cheap to have travel agents. So I started flying by routes I picked. Still I ended up spending way too many hours in airports throughout my career.
Yes, flying would be much better if cannabis was available in the airport lounges. I’m sure the flight attendants would agree.
After my one foray into the Southern California Porn Industry (a plug for Michael’s NSFW) I’m reading a lot of Florida books. Tim Dorsey, Carl Hiaasen, and Randy Wayne White fill my Kindle app. I started reading on an iPad so that I wouldn’t have to carry a bunch of books on my flights.
Thanks for the plug! I think you're kindle is well stocked! My feeling about Southwest is that if there's an airport between here and there, they're stopping. Also, I gotta say, I think going for a walk on a long layover is one of the best things you can do. Gets the blood flowing again, plus the people watching opportunities are usually excellent at airports.
1. Is Allison right? Are upgrades incompatible with flying Southwest?
I haven't got a clue about flying Southwest. I drove Southwest, which was lovely.
2. What do you do to kill time before your flight?
I read a book and listen to music on my earbuds. I leave a cheap pair in my travel bag.
3. Drinking is a big part of flying between the airport bars and the beverage service. Meanwhile, flying with cannabis is illegal. But wouldn't the friendly skies be a lot friendlier if society let stoners do their thing?
As long as the stoners are chill, duds on meth are in a no-fly zone for me.
4. Are buffalo burgers tasty, or are they really just beef burgers because the buffalo are extinct?
Question: How many buffalo were in the USA pre-colonization?
Answer: None. There were millions of bison that were soon hunted to near extinction in the lower 48. Canada had a few wild herds. Buffalo is good eating, burger, roast or jerked.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_bison
5. I'm still working my way through Palo Alto: A History of California, Capitalism, and the World by Malcolm Harris. Are you reading anything good?
Phantoms in the Brain: Probing the Mysteries of the Human Mind
by V.S. Ramachandran, Sandra Blakeslee, Oliver Sacks
The World Treasury of Science Fiction
David G. Hartwell (Editor, Contributor), Clifton Fadiman (Contributor), Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
Sure, I'll Be Your Black Friend: Notes from the Other Side of the Fist Bump by Ben Philippe.
You've got quite the reading list! Gonna add some of these to my TBR. As for the flying meth heads, that's a strong hell no from me too. But I would go see a band called The Flying Meth Heads.