55 Comments

“A friend of mine is a car thief. Most car thieves are Mexicans, but he just happens to be white."

Perfect take. No notes.

2025's gonna be a long-ass century.

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If January is any indication this century will last forever

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4. I lost my car for a second. A couple weeks ago I parked in an almost empty lot near a walking trail. After exercising I came back to my car and tried to get in & the door wouldn’t open. Wasn’t my car. Someone parked their identical car, down to the same amount of dirt and dings, right next to mine. No way this wasn’t on purpose and I looked around expecting I’d been punked. I almost waited to see who my car twin was but then I got scared that they would also be my doppelgänger or future me come back to warn me of some terrible thing I must avoid.

And if they’d ended up being some racist asshole, I’d have to sell my car.

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Your lost car story sounds like the opening scene of a thriller.

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Ooh that gives me the creeps. You might be right about that. I’ll have to build up some SAG-AFTRA-like confidence & write it

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Michael, most mornings when I wake up too early at 3:30, 4, I play Wordle. On Sundays I brighten at the thought, “maybe a new Situation Normal has dropped! “ Thanks for making my way too early Sunday worthwhile.

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Thank you Jessica! This really makes my day. Also, The NY Times bought Wordle for a lot of money, so with any luck I may get acquired.

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2. I work in a wine shop and when a colleague leaves I say “ciao ciao”

4. “Lost” two cars. One was repossessed and one was stolen.

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the only place i ever lost my car was at the airport. i already hated airports. i got lucky that i did not have a racist trash guardian angel guiding me. that would have made a lousy day worse. hahasob!

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A lost car at an airport sounds like a special kind of hell

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Here's how I say good-bye. "Sorry, it's not you, it's me. You're a really nice guy, any girl would be so lucky to have you. I just need a little space, a little timeout to find myself."

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It's not you, it's me! Classic.

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Ciao, baby.

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Oh, and I cannot WAIT to read all about goat yoga.

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Au revoir, ariva derchi! We will be paying extra for guacomole now that the tarrifs are on canada...wheres the bigot? That would be trump and half of america who voted for a white christian patriachial bigoted racist maniac they voted for him! I lost my car once years ago after a night of drinking but upon sobering up remebered with the help of a friend....

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The truth is I’ll pay any price for guacamole.

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2. I wish I said "Stay fresh, cheese bags!" - https://www.instagram.com/p/CKwblrBhH9T/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

4. Don't think I've ever lost my car, but I've definitely tried to get into my car's doppelgangers in parking lots innumerable times. Also, routinely forget when my car is "in the shop" and experience mild panic when it's missing from the driveway temporarily.

Goat Yoga. YES! I suspect it's legit magic. Can't wait to read about your experience.

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I've tried to get into the wrong car a few times. Once I was sitting in MY car and some dude opened the passenger door b/c he thought I was his Uber.

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Ha! In college, some guy walked into my apartment and plopped down on my couch thinking he was at his friend's place one floor away. It was only slightly weird because he was actually my boyfriend (now husband)'s former roommate ... so he knew me, just couldn't figure out what I was doing in his friend's apartment. 😂

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At least it ended with him just sitting on the couch. Could've been a lot worse

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He got up and left PDQ. He was mostly embarrassed. And a little high.

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I do that missing-from-the-driveway panic thing too.

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1) Absolutely see Dude, Where's My Car, it's hilarious, absurd, and not what you expect.

2) Salut

3) I am not SAG-AFTRA, but none of the film production guilds guarantee you a job or help you get one that much more than before you joined it, until you're a known entity that's worked some big jobs. Some of them have hiring boards and rosters but I do not think SAG-AFTRA does because tons of people become SAG-AFTRA from tiny little unremarkable roles, whereas casting directors have their own rosters and networks.

4) I had my Toyota 4x4 stolen in 2013. Couldn't tell you the ethnicity of the thieves because it was never recovered. FYI it was fully old school manual, so her folk wisdom there failed me.

5) Yes, I indulge in the guacamole.

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Sorry to hear about your Toyota 4x4.

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1. No

2. Hasta luego

3. No

4. Once I came out from work and my car was GONE. No, not stolen but towed. The parking pass in the lot I’d been parking in for MONTHS had slipped off the dash and the fuckers had me towed. I guess it was a relief that it hadn’t been stolen but what a pain.

5. I probably have and am not ashamed.

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You write these so very, very well.

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Thanks Mike!

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2. Tschüss

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“Hasta la bye-bye”. Ps you’re a mensch.

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I’ve lost my car many times, and found it just as many times!

Your experience reminds me of a conversation I got trapped into with a bigot many years ago at a lunch counter in Beverly Hills. I was stuck there until I finished my bowl of chili, then it was hasta la vista baby.

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Nothing worse than a BH bigot.

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Never saw the movie, never lost my car. Guacamole is a must, but only if I can control the presence of the devil’s only weed (cilantro 🤮).

Contribution to goaga sent! 🐐 🔥

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No cilantro for you means more cilantro for me.

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I bequeath you ALL OF IT

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