The store is just a front for a European operation, now personally lead by the German chancellor. It was started by Arnold with the goal of slowly turning the state into a EU - simulation. Juan is actually born as Friedrich von der Susteren, weren‘t you suspicious of his blond hair? They come at night, mess with your tires, and when you leave the car at Firestone (didn’t the name tipp you off?) they replace the old bugs with new ones which connect to your phone. My real name is Detlev Geistreich. So, I‘ve spilled the beans, but no one will believe me, anyway.
Haha I love the idea of firebombing that commie garage right off the face of the planet! Meanwhile what did eat at the mall when you went there for lunch?
The true test of whether Firestone is communist is whether they provide free healthcare. Juan informed you that there was a nail in your tire. That’s free education, but if they don’t provide free healthcare, they’re probably just socialists.
A couple of years ago, my tires seemed to have become nail magnets. First time, I took it to Pep Boys and they charged $30. A week later with the second nail, Pep Boys was too busy to bother with me and I went right next door to Big Brand Tires. Turned out, they do flat repairs for fee. Came back there 2 more times over the next couple of months. When it came time to get a new set of tires, I went there rather than Costco because their prices were about the same and I needed an alignment, too which Costco doesn't do. They got the big sale.
The loss leader of free flat repairs got them a customer, actually 2 since my wife got her tires there, too. And repairing a flat costs them next to nothing since the employees are already being paid for the hour and the patches are cheap.
I take it that "Juan" is an illegal alien Antifa commie trying to sabotage our beautiful capitalist economy. Fear not; he will be smitten and no billionaire will be left behind!
Possibly. It’s also possible that Juan is descended from Spanish conquistadors and his people have been here longer than most. But yeah, probably a commie plot to subvert freedom with immigrant Marxist tire repair guys.
a gallon of gas, a rock, and don't forget: wear a mask (to avoid covid, yeh!), borrow the plates off someone's bike and hop on your Royal Enfield 350 Meteor - you do ride an RE, I hope, and off to that commie socialist leftwing den of thieves and liars and give 'em a gallon and a match.
Mission accomplished, in the words of the last great Repub prez, little Georgie Bush.
My tire place rotates for free if you buy tires from them. As a result, I always buy tires from them. It's not communism, just the kind of patient, long-game capitalism that is sadly disappearing. Put the red phone down.
Should you write to the Better Business Bureau? They might know a thing or two about shady Firestone practices. On the other hand, it would be Communism if the government claimed it owned it, and therefore ran it. And our current administration would charge for sitting in the waiting room and making you subscribe to their Tire Check-up Service. Only $59.99/month. All the sitting and coffee and snacks and checking your tire pressure. Sorry no discounts*. Tire purchase and labor are extra.
*Registered MAGA Republicans and NRA members qualify for special services. Show your Party Affiliation Card when you come in.
Fixing nails, filling tires and being nice is how their business stays in business. The tire store I deal with has a drive-through for air, and they fix nails for free, as well, and when I’ve needed tires, that’s where I go, and I’m treated well. It’s not conspiracy, it’s not socialism or Communism, it’s the way businesses should be run.
I guess I have to pay for your article the same way you paid for your tire repair, but I must tread lightly: no flattery, no inflating your ego. Your pieces are good, year in, year out.
The store is just a front for a European operation, now personally lead by the German chancellor. It was started by Arnold with the goal of slowly turning the state into a EU - simulation. Juan is actually born as Friedrich von der Susteren, weren‘t you suspicious of his blond hair? They come at night, mess with your tires, and when you leave the car at Firestone (didn’t the name tipp you off?) they replace the old bugs with new ones which connect to your phone. My real name is Detlev Geistreich. So, I‘ve spilled the beans, but no one will believe me, anyway.
I don’t trust a tire retailer who doesn’t own their own blimp. Commie bastards!
The blimp test is key.
Haha I love the idea of firebombing that commie garage right off the face of the planet! Meanwhile what did eat at the mall when you went there for lunch?
I got a combination plate with kung pao chicken and orange chicken from a Panda Express
JEALOUS
The true test of whether Firestone is communist is whether they provide free healthcare. Juan informed you that there was a nail in your tire. That’s free education, but if they don’t provide free healthcare, they’re probably just socialists.
Next time I’m sick I’m going to Firestone. Will report back.
That should have been flat repairs for FREE.
A couple of years ago, my tires seemed to have become nail magnets. First time, I took it to Pep Boys and they charged $30. A week later with the second nail, Pep Boys was too busy to bother with me and I went right next door to Big Brand Tires. Turned out, they do flat repairs for fee. Came back there 2 more times over the next couple of months. When it came time to get a new set of tires, I went there rather than Costco because their prices were about the same and I needed an alignment, too which Costco doesn't do. They got the big sale.
The loss leader of free flat repairs got them a customer, actually 2 since my wife got her tires there, too. And repairing a flat costs them next to nothing since the employees are already being paid for the hour and the patches are cheap.
I take it that "Juan" is an illegal alien Antifa commie trying to sabotage our beautiful capitalist economy. Fear not; he will be smitten and no billionaire will be left behind!
Possibly. It’s also possible that Juan is descended from Spanish conquistadors and his people have been here longer than most. But yeah, probably a commie plot to subvert freedom with immigrant Marxist tire repair guys.
Our local handy tire place is Les Schwab. I love them so much.
Les is more. That would be my slogan if I ran your local tire place
The mob bought Firestone and they’re laundering money.
Yikes. It’s worse than I thought.
a gallon of gas, a rock, and don't forget: wear a mask (to avoid covid, yeh!), borrow the plates off someone's bike and hop on your Royal Enfield 350 Meteor - you do ride an RE, I hope, and off to that commie socialist leftwing den of thieves and liars and give 'em a gallon and a match.
Mission accomplished, in the words of the last great Repub prez, little Georgie Bush.
Sounds like a helluva plan. And like all George Bush plans this one will work !
My tire place rotates for free if you buy tires from them. As a result, I always buy tires from them. It's not communism, just the kind of patient, long-game capitalism that is sadly disappearing. Put the red phone down.
Thanks for talking me off the ledge, Amber. I’ll stand down the nukes and stand up … for old-fashioned service.
Should you write to the Better Business Bureau? They might know a thing or two about shady Firestone practices. On the other hand, it would be Communism if the government claimed it owned it, and therefore ran it. And our current administration would charge for sitting in the waiting room and making you subscribe to their Tire Check-up Service. Only $59.99/month. All the sitting and coffee and snacks and checking your tire pressure. Sorry no discounts*. Tire purchase and labor are extra.
*Registered MAGA Republicans and NRA members qualify for special services. Show your Party Affiliation Card when you come in.
Fixing nails, filling tires and being nice is how their business stays in business. The tire store I deal with has a drive-through for air, and they fix nails for free, as well, and when I’ve needed tires, that’s where I go, and I’m treated well. It’s not conspiracy, it’s not socialism or Communism, it’s the way businesses should be run.
Sounds amazing. Ok if I write you in for president?
I know I could do a better job than the current occupant—so could you! How soon should we start organizing our campaign?
Leave the review. Take a box of good doughnuts to the store. Or cookies. Confections are currency
I like your style, Susan!
Bait and switch is very capitalistic. Bring the Vaseline when you go to buy new tires.
Wait? I’m gonna fucked and I have to supply my own lube?! This system is rigged.
I guess I have to pay for your article the same way you paid for your tire repair, but I must tread lightly: no flattery, no inflating your ego. Your pieces are good, year in, year out.
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