But the older, wiser me knows that you can’t really fix another person’s problem. All you can do is listen, and hear them, and crawl into whatever hole they’re in and just be there with them so they don’t have to go through one of life’s shit-storms alone.
Mar 12, 2023·edited Mar 12, 2023Liked by Michael Estrin
I saw what you did there: Life cereal, Life game, then life. Rule of three and everything- bravo!
1. I’d say all of the above, but I don’t do social media.
2. As a kid I played that game recklessly. Fill that car up with kids and get to the poorhouse asap!
3. My secret is this: get old. Once you pass 65, all that stuff is academic.
4. Tapatio is great, as is Cholula. I do like Sriracha, but only the original brand, made in the San Gabriel Valley.
5. It’s Sunday morning, my friend, and we’ve all lost an hour of sleep. I will call Steve in Brooklyn tonight, but you’ll have to read my ‘stack if you want to know how it went.
I sit dead center in the Gen-X cohort. I'm old enough to remember not having an answering machine. If you called someone and they weren't home, suck it. Try again some random time in the future and good luck. And if you were the one who wasn't home, it was like complete freedom. Somebody called? Who cares? I'm not home. Of course, I was a kid and not really concerned about missing an important business call from publishers clearing house or the State Department. But, whatever. Heaven compared to the leashes we have today.
Today my wife and I have a “shoot the shit” appointment with friends of ours, which I’m looking forward to. But I have trouble just reaching out to folks unannounced, even close friends. Maybe I’m worried I’m bothering them?
I like the not-too-spicy, very flavorful Pepper Plant sauces.
"But the older, wiser me knows that you can’t really fix another person’s problem. All you can do is listen, and hear them, and crawl into whatever hole they’re in and just be there with them so they don’t have to go through one of life’s shit-storms alone."
Parties on both sides everywhere would do well to recognize this.
I'm def guilty of being a text-to-call person...mostly scheduling any phone chats, which are few and far between, weeks in advance. It's a bummer. But I'm an old millennial so it's just the way we do things. As such, I also hardcore relate to feeling like I'm not making/have never made/will never make any kind of "real" progress toward being an adult. If my life was the game of Life, I'd be in solid last place.
1. I'm not really into calling people, but me and my friends get together (a lot) to shoot the shit face-to-face. By the way: really loved the concept of "shoot the shit"! After the pandemics, I'm really avoiding the whole "seeing/talking to people through screens".
3. I guess Past Me likes Present Me just as I do. My biggest problem is Present Me thoughts about Future Me!
5. After this, I'm gonna visit my best friend after work, do some monday shoot the shit session!
1. I used to be a big phone guy -- like talk to a different friend each day of the week for an hour or more. I'd still do that today, but it's my friends who are no longer amenable to it due to jobs, kids, life in general. Nowadays I only have one friend that I talk to routinely. We catch up every week for at least an hour, but coordinating via text first is SOP.
3. Not that I've got it all figured out, but I don't really think in "What ifs" or "What could have been." Any counterfactual from the past is just a thought exercise, which is ultimately unhelpful. I think engaging in a bit of fatalism actually helps in this regard. One day I'll die, and be forgotten, so as long as I'm doing the best I can -- mistakes granted and mistakes be damned -- then that's all I can control.
4. I want all the hot sauces. Each has its own special uses, and all our welcome in our home.
5. Yes! My aforementioned friend and I are speaking this Tuesday. Arranged via text, of course.
Nothing beats a live phone call--except, of course, an actual discussion in person. I'm from the era when I would chat with a friend on the phone in the evening, keep talking till we both fell asleep with the phones in our hands, then woke up and kept talking (you could do that before cell phones because you didn't fry your brain when it was up against your head for 12 hours). And Life Cereal? The BEST!!
Also, Sunday is our day to do a Zoom call with a couple friends. We've been doing this now since the plague started. We used to get together at a restaurant for breakfast every Sunday. Now we spend a couple hours chatting and having breakfast from our own homes. This is not the future I imagined.
I remember a time when I could just show up at a friend's house, knock on the door and be welcomed in. (Assuming they were home.) I didn't call first. I just showed up.
Now? Now it takes at least a half dozen text messages over three days to make an appointment to maybe get together in a month. Covid has made things worse but it was already bad before the plague.
So I have only ONE friend I feel comfortable calling to shoot the shit, having no agenda, call without notice all ok. But we've been doing that and keeping it up for 15 years living in different cities since being college roomies and seeing each other every day. It feels special but I also lament that I didn't try to maintain this sort of casual keep-up with anyone else! I'm always delighted when someone calls me and like you said if I can't talk or if it's not a good time, I just don't answer and will try them back. IMO people who grumble about unexpected phone calls need to use do-not-disturb settings more. My phone is on dnd a LOT if I feel like I don't want to be reached. I guess depends on the person if I prefer a text before? But then it feels like if I don't want to talk but don't have a "good" reason I have to think really hard so I almost rather not have notice and just be able to ignore it until I'm ready? Idk. Now thinking I should just start calling more people and see what happens. OH! And I use Voxer app with some other friends because we're diff time zones or just kid schedules, it's kinda nice bc it's like having a long phone convo but at your leisure and over the course of days.
Tabasco sriracha. No, no, no, no, no. Everyone, stick to your lane!
I like that hot sauce with the lady on it. Is that the Cholula? It has actual flavor, not just hotness.
I was thinking that you're right, no one just calls anymore. But actually those of us in 12-step programs DO just call each other. But I don't think of them as phone calls because we always refer to them as "program calls."
'i like this like a whole lot
But the older, wiser me knows that you can’t really fix another person’s problem. All you can do is listen, and hear them, and crawl into whatever hole they’re in and just be there with them so they don’t have to go through one of life’s shit-storms alone.
I saw what you did there: Life cereal, Life game, then life. Rule of three and everything- bravo!
1. I’d say all of the above, but I don’t do social media.
2. As a kid I played that game recklessly. Fill that car up with kids and get to the poorhouse asap!
3. My secret is this: get old. Once you pass 65, all that stuff is academic.
4. Tapatio is great, as is Cholula. I do like Sriracha, but only the original brand, made in the San Gabriel Valley.
5. It’s Sunday morning, my friend, and we’ve all lost an hour of sleep. I will call Steve in Brooklyn tonight, but you’ll have to read my ‘stack if you want to know how it went.
I just discovered that my phone did speech to text while I drive, so, I may never speak to a living person ever again.
I sit dead center in the Gen-X cohort. I'm old enough to remember not having an answering machine. If you called someone and they weren't home, suck it. Try again some random time in the future and good luck. And if you were the one who wasn't home, it was like complete freedom. Somebody called? Who cares? I'm not home. Of course, I was a kid and not really concerned about missing an important business call from publishers clearing house or the State Department. But, whatever. Heaven compared to the leashes we have today.
Crystal hot sauce spanks Tabasco’s vinegary butt. Try it and see for yourself.
Today my wife and I have a “shoot the shit” appointment with friends of ours, which I’m looking forward to. But I have trouble just reaching out to folks unannounced, even close friends. Maybe I’m worried I’m bothering them?
I like the not-too-spicy, very flavorful Pepper Plant sauces.
"But the older, wiser me knows that you can’t really fix another person’s problem. All you can do is listen, and hear them, and crawl into whatever hole they’re in and just be there with them so they don’t have to go through one of life’s shit-storms alone."
Parties on both sides everywhere would do well to recognize this.
I'm def guilty of being a text-to-call person...mostly scheduling any phone chats, which are few and far between, weeks in advance. It's a bummer. But I'm an old millennial so it's just the way we do things. As such, I also hardcore relate to feeling like I'm not making/have never made/will never make any kind of "real" progress toward being an adult. If my life was the game of Life, I'd be in solid last place.
1. I'm not really into calling people, but me and my friends get together (a lot) to shoot the shit face-to-face. By the way: really loved the concept of "shoot the shit"! After the pandemics, I'm really avoiding the whole "seeing/talking to people through screens".
3. I guess Past Me likes Present Me just as I do. My biggest problem is Present Me thoughts about Future Me!
5. After this, I'm gonna visit my best friend after work, do some monday shoot the shit session!
1. I used to be a big phone guy -- like talk to a different friend each day of the week for an hour or more. I'd still do that today, but it's my friends who are no longer amenable to it due to jobs, kids, life in general. Nowadays I only have one friend that I talk to routinely. We catch up every week for at least an hour, but coordinating via text first is SOP.
3. Not that I've got it all figured out, but I don't really think in "What ifs" or "What could have been." Any counterfactual from the past is just a thought exercise, which is ultimately unhelpful. I think engaging in a bit of fatalism actually helps in this regard. One day I'll die, and be forgotten, so as long as I'm doing the best I can -- mistakes granted and mistakes be damned -- then that's all I can control.
4. I want all the hot sauces. Each has its own special uses, and all our welcome in our home.
5. Yes! My aforementioned friend and I are speaking this Tuesday. Arranged via text, of course.
My Mexican parents would probably disown me for this, but I’m a couple-of-drops-of Frank’s Red Hot gal.
Nothing beats a live phone call--except, of course, an actual discussion in person. I'm from the era when I would chat with a friend on the phone in the evening, keep talking till we both fell asleep with the phones in our hands, then woke up and kept talking (you could do that before cell phones because you didn't fry your brain when it was up against your head for 12 hours). And Life Cereal? The BEST!!
Also, Sunday is our day to do a Zoom call with a couple friends. We've been doing this now since the plague started. We used to get together at a restaurant for breakfast every Sunday. Now we spend a couple hours chatting and having breakfast from our own homes. This is not the future I imagined.
I remember a time when I could just show up at a friend's house, knock on the door and be welcomed in. (Assuming they were home.) I didn't call first. I just showed up.
Now? Now it takes at least a half dozen text messages over three days to make an appointment to maybe get together in a month. Covid has made things worse but it was already bad before the plague.
So I have only ONE friend I feel comfortable calling to shoot the shit, having no agenda, call without notice all ok. But we've been doing that and keeping it up for 15 years living in different cities since being college roomies and seeing each other every day. It feels special but I also lament that I didn't try to maintain this sort of casual keep-up with anyone else! I'm always delighted when someone calls me and like you said if I can't talk or if it's not a good time, I just don't answer and will try them back. IMO people who grumble about unexpected phone calls need to use do-not-disturb settings more. My phone is on dnd a LOT if I feel like I don't want to be reached. I guess depends on the person if I prefer a text before? But then it feels like if I don't want to talk but don't have a "good" reason I have to think really hard so I almost rather not have notice and just be able to ignore it until I'm ready? Idk. Now thinking I should just start calling more people and see what happens. OH! And I use Voxer app with some other friends because we're diff time zones or just kid schedules, it's kinda nice bc it's like having a long phone convo but at your leisure and over the course of days.
Tabasco sriracha. No, no, no, no, no. Everyone, stick to your lane!
I like that hot sauce with the lady on it. Is that the Cholula? It has actual flavor, not just hotness.
I was thinking that you're right, no one just calls anymore. But actually those of us in 12-step programs DO just call each other. But I don't think of them as phone calls because we always refer to them as "program calls."