Michael, the Golden Rule is certainly one of your top ten rules, but, we here at Rule of Three have our own personal favorites. . .three of them, to be exact. . .
I'm going to be in the Emergency Operations Center of the City of Newark with the Office of Emergency Management team, sending out press releases and setting up media interviews as we cope with the end of civilization. We have our own power plant, which we used during Superstorm Sandy in 2012. However, we had to order out for food.
So I expect to die there, either when the blast opens up the windows and exposes us all to radiation and heat, or when we run out of electricity and food.
It'll be like those poor guys in the bunker in the BBC drama "Threads" for me.
I just hope my wife can flee to her pal in the Catskills and ride it out there and my daughter to her pals in Maine.
It will be to urge residents to remain in their basements with non-perishable food and battery-powered or solar-powered radios and other electronics for at least two weeks, to wait out the heavy fallout. The radios and electronics will be to enable them to keep aware of further developments.
If I have it with me -- and I should -- it will also tell them how to build something called a "Kearny Fallout Meter" to keep track of just that. I have some federal stuff on my desk about the impact of nuclear weapons on various barriers at various ranges.
I'm going to emulate my English ancestors, who have served the Crown from the reign of HM King Charles II (1680) to that of HM King Charles III (2024). Faithful and doing my duty up to death.
I don’t know if you’ve read World War Z, but one of the most compelling characters is a man in a wheelchair. He is not in the movie because the movie is totally different from the book. Basically, just the same title and few random pieces thrown in.
Hilarious. Our family often talks about the apocalypse and what skills we have. I say my husband is the “idea man” too. He also tells good jokes and is sexy. (No beard please. Hate it when food coagulates there) My son can cook. Im very calm in crisis and am a doctor so when the appendix bursts we are in good hands. Plus…the drugs. We have a meeting place ( although I keep forgetting where it is) and I want my brother there because he can chop wood and he has guns. We know we have to get out of town quickly before the killing starts. Thanks for reminding me that I need to get this meeting location ( near water, isolated, nice weather, lots of trees and fertile soil) nailed down. It could happen at any time. I hope before the next election if at all. Let me know how to find the cult when it all comes down.
I’m an ideas woman and a gardener. The first thing I’d do is acquire as many seed varieties as I could. I’d have to band with other people who have unique skills so that each serves an important role. Once camped in our commune with bidets installed, we’ll live out our days in granola joy.
I realize how much autocomplete helps me especially when I’m texting. In real life though, I did forget how to spell the word “any” once but mostly I don’t remember the position of the anterior tibial artery. Super annoying.
I would like to read The Stand. I haven’t read any apocalyptic literature but have seen plenty of movies. I’d have to go with 28 Days Later. So well done.
The Stand is excellent. I'm not a huge King fan because I don't like horror. I know he writes other genres, but I most associate him with horror. Gave The Stand a go a few years back and to my surprise I loved it.
He does write mostly horror but I think books like Mr. Mercedes would be mystery/thriller, though King does explore disturbing themes between mothers and cons. *cough* I should check out the one you suggested but I’m currently reading a King book. 🙃
Oh man. I am always saying to my partner that I will not do well in the apocalypse. We have periodic power outages here. I'm good for about 48 hours, and then everything starts going to hell. I'm hoping for The Big One earthquake that is supposed to take out the entire area west of the Cascades happens at the same time, so I won't have to go more than 3 days without a shower and a flush toilet.
I love your apocalypse plan. Humor is always a necessity. You will find a way to write something funny about the miracle of charcoal filtering pond water.
Hubby and I have a friend who hunts elk and feeds his family for a year with 1 elk. For about a day we considered learning how to hunt. While hubby is a true boy scout he is no hunter. I tried the online hunter cert lessons but got bored before lesson three— all the various shot guns. No apocalypse plan. Dang, we don’t even have a fire escape plan.
1 elk, one year! That's efficiency! I'm impressed. Maybe instead of hunting, try fishing. It's probably just as boring, but you can read a book while you wait for a fish to take the bait.
1: I also just assume I will be useless when the apocalypse happens. There will be very little need for over-educated people that sit at a desk all day. I do know how to make beer, which is a useful skill. However I don't know how to grow the ingredients that are needed to make beer. I've said before if the apocalypse happens because someone launches the nukes, I just hope Dallas is a sufficiently important target that I get vaporized instantly. As a backup plan, I have given a lot of thought to a cult though. I even have a friend who looks like white Jesus that could be the face of the cult while I use my years of Machiavellian lawyer skills to be power behind the curtain.
3: I misspell "definitely" every single time. If I have to use it, I'm definitely going to get it wrong.
This post is a sign. It’s a signal. No, it’s more than that, it’s an OMEN!
While I pretended to be busily focused on the week ahead, I was reading your post. My wife took the remote and switched from the BlueJays game neither of us was watching to FALLOUT.
“It’s great!”, she said.
I’m not watching it because, A) I’m not a fan of post-apocalyptic stuff (except I did end up binging “The Last of Us” with her), and B) I’m busy responding to your post.
Here in Canada the big box stores don’t sell guns or ammunition. I’m useless with my hands, so my post apocalyptic plan is to become a storytelling jester in a traveling troupe of entertainers. Yes, I’m a struggling introvert with few followers on Substack whose weekly posts garner less likes than the number of fingers I would have on one hand if I worked in a sawmill with a disregard for employee safety, but I’ll manage.
If you get tired of entertaining your cult followers, maybe I could sub for you when our troupe is passing through?
To everyone, I.e. Michael Jensen, planning to spend the post-apocalyptic times binging Lord of the Rings, drinking Mimosas and swallowing Xanax, I suggest you prepay your streaming service in case the banking systems don’t survive…
Watched Soylent Green when I was about 7yrs of age, to this day I still think about how wonderful end of life option centers would be. Granted, an independent power system to make the experience (music, visual, scent, demise cocktail, etc) work would be needed but I think it would be lovely to have this option regardless of an apocalypse scenario.
Michael, the Golden Rule is certainly one of your top ten rules, but, we here at Rule of Three have our own personal favorites. . .three of them, to be exact. . .
https://ruleofthree.substack.com/p/welcome-to-rule-of-three?utm_source=publication-search
I'm going to be in the Emergency Operations Center of the City of Newark with the Office of Emergency Management team, sending out press releases and setting up media interviews as we cope with the end of civilization. We have our own power plant, which we used during Superstorm Sandy in 2012. However, we had to order out for food.
So I expect to die there, either when the blast opens up the windows and exposes us all to radiation and heat, or when we run out of electricity and food.
It'll be like those poor guys in the bunker in the BBC drama "Threads" for me.
I just hope my wife can flee to her pal in the Catskills and ride it out there and my daughter to her pals in Maine.
I don't have a chance.
Wow! This is easily one of the most detailed, realistic answers yet. Here's hoping that last press release is a good one!
It will be to urge residents to remain in their basements with non-perishable food and battery-powered or solar-powered radios and other electronics for at least two weeks, to wait out the heavy fallout. The radios and electronics will be to enable them to keep aware of further developments.
If I have it with me -- and I should -- it will also tell them how to build something called a "Kearny Fallout Meter" to keep track of just that. I have some federal stuff on my desk about the impact of nuclear weapons on various barriers at various ranges.
I'm going to emulate my English ancestors, who have served the Crown from the reign of HM King Charles II (1680) to that of HM King Charles III (2024). Faithful and doing my duty up to death.
I will earn money walking dogs.
Honestly, this is the best plan yet.
LOL
I’m an archaeologist. I can make stone tools.
Love it!
I thought I Fallout was really good, and not the usual take on the apocalypse.
With my disability, I will probably not make it long enough to have a job.
I don’t know if you’ve read World War Z, but one of the most compelling characters is a man in a wheelchair. He is not in the movie because the movie is totally different from the book. Basically, just the same title and few random pieces thrown in.
Thanks for telling me that! I saw the movie, but haven't read the book. I am going to check it out now.
Since my friends with sailboats have sold theirs, I'd steal one and head off to some South Pacific island that never heard of the apocalypse.
Alternately, trade all the old paperbacks in my garage to people who can no longer read on their kindles or need them to use as toilet paper.
Both plans seem solid!
I've always said I'd drive TO the blast site, but that was before I had kids. Now I presume I'd do anything to keep my ungrateful kids alive.
Carpenter seems like a good post-apocalypse job for me. I'm a competent woodworker, and tools double as melee weapons.
Do the kids have decent melee skills? In a melee there's strength in numbers.
Hilarious. Our family often talks about the apocalypse and what skills we have. I say my husband is the “idea man” too. He also tells good jokes and is sexy. (No beard please. Hate it when food coagulates there) My son can cook. Im very calm in crisis and am a doctor so when the appendix bursts we are in good hands. Plus…the drugs. We have a meeting place ( although I keep forgetting where it is) and I want my brother there because he can chop wood and he has guns. We know we have to get out of town quickly before the killing starts. Thanks for reminding me that I need to get this meeting location ( near water, isolated, nice weather, lots of trees and fertile soil) nailed down. It could happen at any time. I hope before the next election if at all. Let me know how to find the cult when it all comes down.
Glad you enjoyed this, Toni. I think your doctor skills are the apocalypse lottery. Congrats!
There are too many words that I can’t spell to list them here. I’d appreciate (that’s one) if you give me a pass on spelling.
I’m too much of a clumsy dork to live after the appocolypce. But send me a copy of your newsletter anyway!
You got it!
I’m an ideas woman and a gardener. The first thing I’d do is acquire as many seed varieties as I could. I’d have to band with other people who have unique skills so that each serves an important role. Once camped in our commune with bidets installed, we’ll live out our days in granola joy.
I realize how much autocomplete helps me especially when I’m texting. In real life though, I did forget how to spell the word “any” once but mostly I don’t remember the position of the anterior tibial artery. Super annoying.
I would like to read The Stand. I haven’t read any apocalyptic literature but have seen plenty of movies. I’d have to go with 28 Days Later. So well done.
The Stand is excellent. I'm not a huge King fan because I don't like horror. I know he writes other genres, but I most associate him with horror. Gave The Stand a go a few years back and to my surprise I loved it.
He does write mostly horror but I think books like Mr. Mercedes would be mystery/thriller, though King does explore disturbing themes between mothers and cons. *cough* I should check out the one you suggested but I’m currently reading a King book. 🙃
I do need to try his crime stuff. Gonna add Mr. Mercedes to my list.
Oh man. I am always saying to my partner that I will not do well in the apocalypse. We have periodic power outages here. I'm good for about 48 hours, and then everything starts going to hell. I'm hoping for The Big One earthquake that is supposed to take out the entire area west of the Cascades happens at the same time, so I won't have to go more than 3 days without a shower and a flush toilet.
Three days without a shower in a flush toilet is what some people call camping. I call it hell. I'm with you.
I enjoyed camping in my 20’s. I’m old now, so, not so much.
I love your apocalypse plan. Humor is always a necessity. You will find a way to write something funny about the miracle of charcoal filtering pond water.
Hubby and I have a friend who hunts elk and feeds his family for a year with 1 elk. For about a day we considered learning how to hunt. While hubby is a true boy scout he is no hunter. I tried the online hunter cert lessons but got bored before lesson three— all the various shot guns. No apocalypse plan. Dang, we don’t even have a fire escape plan.
1 elk, one year! That's efficiency! I'm impressed. Maybe instead of hunting, try fishing. It's probably just as boring, but you can read a book while you wait for a fish to take the bait.
🥰
1: I also just assume I will be useless when the apocalypse happens. There will be very little need for over-educated people that sit at a desk all day. I do know how to make beer, which is a useful skill. However I don't know how to grow the ingredients that are needed to make beer. I've said before if the apocalypse happens because someone launches the nukes, I just hope Dallas is a sufficiently important target that I get vaporized instantly. As a backup plan, I have given a lot of thought to a cult though. I even have a friend who looks like white Jesus that could be the face of the cult while I use my years of Machiavellian lawyer skills to be power behind the curtain.
3: I misspell "definitely" every single time. If I have to use it, I'm definitely going to get it wrong.
Definitely often comes out as defiantly for me. Good luck with your cult!
This post is a sign. It’s a signal. No, it’s more than that, it’s an OMEN!
While I pretended to be busily focused on the week ahead, I was reading your post. My wife took the remote and switched from the BlueJays game neither of us was watching to FALLOUT.
“It’s great!”, she said.
I’m not watching it because, A) I’m not a fan of post-apocalyptic stuff (except I did end up binging “The Last of Us” with her), and B) I’m busy responding to your post.
Here in Canada the big box stores don’t sell guns or ammunition. I’m useless with my hands, so my post apocalyptic plan is to become a storytelling jester in a traveling troupe of entertainers. Yes, I’m a struggling introvert with few followers on Substack whose weekly posts garner less likes than the number of fingers I would have on one hand if I worked in a sawmill with a disregard for employee safety, but I’ll manage.
If you get tired of entertaining your cult followers, maybe I could sub for you when our troupe is passing through?
To everyone, I.e. Michael Jensen, planning to spend the post-apocalyptic times binging Lord of the Rings, drinking Mimosas and swallowing Xanax, I suggest you prepay your streaming service in case the banking systems don’t survive…
It is a sign, Paul. You need to put down your device and watch Fallout!
Watched Soylent Green when I was about 7yrs of age, to this day I still think about how wonderful end of life option centers would be. Granted, an independent power system to make the experience (music, visual, scent, demise cocktail, etc) work would be needed but I think it would be lovely to have this option regardless of an apocalypse scenario.
If you’ve seen Children of Men, which is a great film, there’s a home kit for that option.
Anything with Clive Owen is great, IMO, that man is my ideal...heavy sigh!
You have great taste!
And my apocalypse job is probably protecting children. <3
Someone has to do it!