34 Comments
Oct 6, 2022Liked by Michael Estrin

OMG so much in here.

First I can’t wait to hear that recruiter’s reply. She seems like a good sport and this should be fun!

Second, FIG SHAKE? What?

Third I am not going near that butter board and also I have a better idea: CREAM CHEESE BOARD.

Fourth comment of the week is such a great idea--mind if I totally rip you off?

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It’s a date shake. They’re very popular in the Mojave desert. Lots of date farms.

You can steal comment of the week, but I may have to steal one of your features. I’d try to negotiate, but as you can see from the comments, Brian’s cutthroat tactics revealed me to be a bungler of Muskian proportions.

As for the cream cheese board, yes! Is anyone doing that on TikTok, or are they too busy making NyQuil chicken?

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Oct 6, 2022Liked by Michael Estrin

Okay, cream cheese board. There is already something akin to this I remember from 1980s slumber parties: shit on a shingle. Which was cream cheese topped with salsa and shredded nacho cheese (!!!) and then tortilla chips for dip. So cream cheese board can't be anything like that. I am thinking bagel chips for the scoop (duh). But what goes on top of the cream cheese?

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I’m think toasted walnuts and maybe drizzle a little honey on the cream cheese.

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Butter board: no. Cream cheese board: YES!

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Comment of the week? I was quite certain that I was comment of the week, every week, on Situation Normal. To find out other commenters are commenting anything as entertaining as my own commentary is a blow. You know who would appreciate my comments? Malvina. I'm poaching her, Michael. Your whole operation is in trouble now.

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Damn it. I knew this new feature would bite me in the ass. I’ve taken a sledgehammer to your feelings and you’ve responded in kind. But now I can’t select your comment--no matter how good it is--because people will think they can hold me hostage by stealing Malvina.

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It seems the negotiations have opened. I will trade you Malvina back for comment of the week or a deli tray of various cheeses. Your entire Substack hangs in the balance.

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Wow! You play hardball. Keep Malvina and the cheeses are domestic. Deal?

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Deal! Wow, that was intense. I feel like I just took down the Elon Musk of Substack humor newsletters.

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That was intense. And the way I’ve bungled this whole thing I really do feel like Elon Musk.

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Oct 5, 2022Liked by Michael Estrin

Malvina is rockin' 20-inch blades on the Impala, guaranteed.

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So you’re saying I better be prepared to talk about a company car?

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Oct 5, 2022Liked by Michael Estrin

According to Glassdoor, Malvina is raking in about $75K as a tech recruiter. But working for you, she’d be switching over to the arts, where it’s accepted practice to work for “exposure” and “photoshoot bagel leftovers.”

https://www.glassdoor.com/Salaries/technical-recruiter-salary-SRCH_KO0,19.htm#:~:text=%2476%2C552,-%2F%20yr&text=The%20estimated%20total%20pay%20for,salaries%20collected%20from%20our%20users.

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This is good to know! I’m on a very limited budget so she’ll have to do it for the love of the arts and carbs.

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One of these days I will learn not to eat my breakfast while reading Situation Normal. Things got very messy at "Lead Foot Linda." Speaking of messy, butter boards. No. No. No. No. Gross.

I continue to love the responses to those emails. Malvina is one special gal and should seriously consider the offer.

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From your keyboard to Malvina’s ears!

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As a high-grade Fallout nerd and real-world ignoramus, I’m happier than I should be that Primm is real. I’m going to go read a book, and learn what other wonders this life hides. Maybe I’ll get a butter board while I’m at it.

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Oh, Primm is very real. And even outside the Fallout engine it feels apocalyptic.

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Oct 6, 2022Liked by Michael Estrin

Primm will always make me think of New Vegas.

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I really need to play more Fall Out. Or, go to Primm. But Fall Out seems like more fun.

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Oct 6, 2022·edited Oct 6, 2022Liked by Michael Estrin

Fallout New Vegas was my escape through much of the lockdown during the pandemic. It's pretty great, although the graphics have aged badly. Still, easily the best of the "new" Fallouts.

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I can see how an open world would be such a great escape in that situation.

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Oct 6, 2022Liked by Michael Estrin

I have stopped, dined, and gambled in Primm because 1) I wanted to see if I needed to revise my descriptions of anything in the novel I was writing at the time and 2) my youngest sister was with me on a marathon road trip through the desert and she was on her third triple-shot espresso with all the whipped cream and steamed milk and various syrups and we'd exhausted the tape she'd brought (yes tape because her ancient Toyota truck had only a cassette player) of George Noory interviewing an animal communicator (who I recently employed to help me reach out to my dead dog) and the only thing for the way we felt at that moment was to spend some quality time with a slot machine or two, take selfies, and get more coffee. Also, we had to pee. For reasons I don't understand now, we opted NOT to ride the roller coaster that sweeps through the casino, out onto its roof and then back inside again. Note: we experienced only the east-bound side of Primm. Who knows what we missed by not going home again?

I have dined at the Mad Greek and lived to tell about it.

P.S. I tried a date shake. I loathed it.

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Thank you for this comment! You brought Primm to life. 👏👏👏

As for the date shakes, I can’t say I loathe them, but I only think about them when I’m in the Mojave and only get them about a quarter of the time, so maybe I’m not a fan?? I may need to raise my milkshake standards.

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My favorite part about your response to Malvina is you called her Marina at the very end. She's not working for you. Also, stoked for the comment wars.

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Oh dear. I blew it. Now she’ll never come work for me. A good lesson to watch those typos.

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It's so brilliant it looks intentional, like at the end of your obviously nonsense offer you were signaling to her that her name wasn't important enough for you to remember. Classic eccentric founder shit.

Also, I'm legit stoked AF for this Raiders story. I'll be up early Sunday morning.

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Haha! What I meant was, yeah that typo was totally a totally intentional joke about founder mind games.

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Oct 5, 2022Liked by Michael Estrin

I've been intrigued by the idea of the butter board for quite some time, but the thing holding me back is: are we just... all sticking our nasty fingers in that butter? Like, a charcuterie board, you can touch JUST the food you want. But in this video, it looks like that hand is going to TOWN, and that's a whole ass mess I don't think I want.

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Totally! The butter board is the new Petri dish. The whole thing looks like a nightmare, especially if you’ve got double-dippers around.

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Oct 5, 2022Liked by Michael Estrin

Another amazing SN to wake up to. Thanks Michael. But the question looms… is the giant thermometer still an attraction on the way to/from Vegas? And does it really tell the actual temperature or are they just messing with the tourists who stop and snap the obligatory photo?

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It’s still there! Not sue if it’s accurate, though.

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Thank you, Kristal! I’m so glad you’re here!

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