Trashy doppelgänger, catalytic denouement, overheard crime, sexiest author ever
I haven’t received any job offers for the other Michael Estrin recently, but that doesn’t mean my doppelgängers aren’t out there. Folks, my doppelgängers are legion! Over the weekend, my sister, Allison, spotted a sticker with a face that bears more than a passing resemblance to yours truly.
Allison spotted the sticker on the lid of a trash can in the restroom of a bar in the Gowanus neighborhood of Brooklyn. I used to live in Brooklyn, but I don’t remember drinking in Gowanus, or licensing my likeness to a sticker company. So what’s going on here? I have some theories, naturally:
Allison went drinking in a parallel universe where her older brother is an icon for Bizarro Brooklyn’s anti-littering campaign.
My Brooklyn-based doppelgänger is trash.
The sticker is a reference to “In Marge We Trust,” a classic episode from season eight of The Simpsons, where Homer discovers his likeness on box of Japanese dishwasher detergent. The manufacturer in Hokkaidō sends Homer a promotional video that reveals that the mascot is a result of a joint venture between two conglomerates, whose mascots, a fish and a lightbulb, merge to form Mr. Sparkle. The similarity to Homer is a mere coincidence.
Just like Homer’s Japanese dishwasher detergent coincidence, it’s possible that the Gowanus trash can sticker’s resemblance to me is also a coincidence. But it’s also possible that this sticker is a clue in an absurd Murakami-style mystery with far-reaching implications for… something or other. Truth is, it’ll take one helluva reporter to figure this one out. Thankfully, Brooklyn-based reporter Anne Kadet, who writes Café Anne, is a regular Situation Normal reader. If Anne can’t get answers, nobody can. If you’re up for the assignment, Anne, the bar is called Dirty Precious.
Catalytic denouement
First, scoundrels stole my catalytic converter, and I turned to vigilantism. Then the supply chain ate my replacement catalytic convertor and I became a straight pipe scofflaw. Well, at long last, the saga of my stolen catalytic convertor has come to an end. The replacement part finally arrived, and I’m back in business, as they say.
Naturally, I’m open to selling the film rights to this low-stakes crime comedy. I see it as Gone in 60 Seconds meets Bottle Rocket. If you’re a Hollywood development executive, let’s discuss this over bottles of Fiji Water.
Overheard at Home Depot
“It’s no big deal. Will you listen? Just listen, OK. I do this all the time. We put in those shitty low-flow toilets for the inspector, then as soon as he signs off on the project, we replace them with the regular toilets. It’s not illegal. OK, technically it is illegal, but only if you get caught.”
David Baldacci is sexy as fuck
If you’re wondering who the sexiest author ever is, the answer is David Baldacci. The only Baldacci book I’ve ever read is Absolute Power, but apparently his novels are so hot people have been known to rip off their unmentionables and throw them at just about any Baldacci title.
ICYMI
I wrote about how reading Nixonland stirred up some family memories, like how Nixon’s resignation interrupted my parent’s wedding rehearsal dinner, as well as the time I was a PA on Richard Nixon's funeral. At the end of that piece, I asked readers who were around for the 1972 election to share some memories of that time, and several of you responded with some amazing comments. Go check them out here.
In Nixon-related surveillance news, my Google searches about the 37th U.S. President had the ad tech machine firing on all cylinders. The result? A Travel Zoo deal to visit the Nixon library!
Some housekeeping
Your suggestions for what to call the Wednesday edition of Situation Normal were excellent! But I’m still trying to figure out a name, or if a name is even necessary. For me, naming things is an agonizing, complicated process that feels like trying on every shoe in the store by hanging the shoes on your ears and walking around barefoot on broken glass. But don’t worry about me. If you have more suggestions, keep ‘em coming!
Stick around and chat!
You know the drill. I’ve got questions, you may or may not have answers.
Have you seen a sticker resembling me on any trash cans near you?
What’s your favorite episode of The Simpsons?
Are you a development executive? And if so, are you interested in the rights to my catalytic convertor story? Also, who should play me in the movie, assuming Arnold Schwarzenegger isn’t available?
Los Angeles building codes mandate low-flow toilets because we’re living in a desert that’s experiencing a “mega-drought.” If we run out of water, it’s the Home Depot guy’s fault, right?
Have you read any David Baldacci books? If so, did you manage to keep your clothes on?
Regardless of your politics, two tickets to the Nixon Library for $34 is a good deal! Should I go, or should I use that money to buy another Rick Perlstein book?
Contribute to Situation Normal!
Do you have a question about something I’ve written? Got a hilarious anecdote or overheard you want to share? See something on the internet, or IRL, that made you LOL or WTF? Find a funny product the wild? Send your submissions to me at 👇
michael.j.estrin@gmail.com
When submitting, please tell me if you’d like to use an alias, or do the first name last initial thing. If you write a newsletter, I’m happy to link to it, so let me know!
Until Sunday, when I’ll have another story…
Mr. Estrin I am ON THE CASE.
That trash sticker! (Trash Sticker perhaps a better bar name, too.) Also, Re the Nixon post, I spoke with my dad about the George McGovern campaign night in Boston. My father gave his personal mic to McGovern to speak. Then was given the large banner poster from McGovern’s handler later that evening as a thank you.