The Hunt for Red October, Facebook is Dead, One Sexy Cabbie, and News About the Newsletter (how meta)

When he reached the new world, Cortez burned his ships. As a result, his men were well motivated.

Is that true? I have no idea. Without a Google search, I couldn’t tell you the first thing about Cortez. But even if it’s just a line from the movie The Hunt for Red October, the idea of destroying the vehicles of the past in order to focus on the future feels true.

About a month ago, I burned down my Facebook account. Actually, it’s more accurate to say I lit the fuse that set in motion the fire that eventually consumed my Facebook account.

ANYWAY, here we are. Facebook is dead, long live email newsletters!

Which brings me to the purpose of this email. Because whether you picture me as Cortez (please don’t), Sean Connery (please do!), or simply a bearded, bespectacled writer with a knack for plucking stories from life’s mundane encounters, I think it’s important to set expectations for this newsletter.

THINGS THAT WILL BASICALLY STAY THE SAME

Slice of life vignettes will continue!
Most of my Facebook posts were what I call creative nonfiction micro stories. That’s a mouthful. And honestly, aside from taxonomy nerds, who really cares what you call these stories? The bottom-line is I’ll continue to share stories about clueless telemarketers, chatty Lyft drivers, and bizarro baristas. But there are two caveats.
First, as you might've guessed this pandemic makes it hard to have spontaneous encounters with strangers. Honestly, that's been one of the hardest adjustments for me. I love talking to strangers.
Second, stories have to be "inbox-worthy." It's one thing to dash off a quick post about the silly thing I overheard while waiting in line at the DMV, but it's something else to email that same story. Email just feels more consequential than social media, and so I want to make sure that what I share is worthy of your inbox.

Larry stories will continue too!
I know many of you love reading Larry stories. I love writing Larry stories because, obviously, my dad is close to my heart. In fact, one of the reasons I’m excited about an email newsletter is that I’m now able to present those stories with embedded media and make use of the usual style features that are common to blogging platforms, but unheard of in social media.

I’ll continue to share my thoughts on politics
You don’t need me to tell you that politics is a shit-storm and that umbrellas are in short supply. In fact, there isn’t much I can tell you about politics that you can’t find elsewhere. That being said, I do see a void in the way we talk about politics in the U.S. So, I want to use this newsletter, from time to time, to speak about politics in a personal, action-oriented way.

NYC Taxi Drivers 2020 Calendar
Admit it, you don’t come for the stories, and you certainly don’t come to hear my “thoughts.” You’re here because those NYC taxi drivers are just so damn sexy. Honestly, I feel the same way. So, say hello to Nino, aka Mr. July. Also, give him a buzz if you’ve got $1.3 million to burn on a new business venture. And if you do buy that taxi, let me know, so I can tell your story!

THINGS THAT ARE NEW

I’ll be publishing on a “schedule”
I don’t want to spam you. But I also don’t want to go dark like a Russian submarine captained by a man who, for some silly reason, speaks with with a Scottish accent.
I hope to send at least one email per month, on or about, the first of the month. Obviously, I’m a few days late on this one. And obviously, fans of those dreamy NYC taxi driver pics know all too well that I’m not what you’d call a deadline diehard. But yeah, expect to hear from me on the regular, even if the intervals are... irregular.

Email is a content buffet
One of the nice things about the email format is that I can cover multiple topics in the same update. You can eat what you like and skip what you don’t. Kind of like a buffet! Actually, it’s even better than a buffet, because you can take this content buffet to-go and eat when you like. Also, unlike food buffets, this content buffet doesn't spread disease. #Win.

Pro tip: Power users with Gmail accounts can create a special folder for this newsletter, so that it doesn’t get mixed in with usual inbox suspects. Take that, Nigerian spammers!

I’m making stuff up
The stories you love on Facebook are true, but I also make up stories. Just like Tom Clancy. Except, my stories are funny and don’t involve spies doing spy stuff. Also, my fiction doesn't contribute to the military-industrial complex, as far as I know. So, actually nothing like Tom Clancy. Basically, I write two kinds of stories.

Young adult humor. Believe it or not, I'm a medium-sized deal on a social reading platform called Wattpad. I write funny, heartfelt stories about teens, and based on the comments and the audience data in my author dashboard, I think it's safe to say, the kids love me. You're welcome to check me out on Wattpad. My handle is @mestrin (it's free, but registration is required). That said, anyone who remembers the twentieth century might find the user experience... um... challenging.

Crime comedy / slacker noir. Back in 2012, I published my first novel, Murder and Other Distractions. Sometime later this year, I plan to publish my next novel—the first book in a mystery series set in the San Fernando Valley's porn industry. I plan to tell you more about my fiction in future emails. But for now, know that if you're a fan of Carl Hiaasen, Tim Dorsey, the Fletch novels, or movies like The Big Lebowski or The Nice Guys, you'll want to check out my books.

That’s all, folks!

No, seriously. That’s the end of the email…

Until next time.

Love & masks,

Michael