Michael, if it is amenable to you, I would prefer to stay apprised of the LA Mayoral race solely through your dispatches. And I do consider myself into the whole brevity thing.
Because you're a guy who knows stuff, I had to comment. If for no other reason than to let you know that I'm still here, and I appreciate what you share on Substack, even when it's humor that makes me laugh then cry because it's true, and, you know, because the world order is crumbling. I'll be thinking of my comrades in that big blue state as they navigate these upcoming decisions, and wishing the big red state where I live had as many choices. Peace
1. Unless they're theming their food after stuff from the book, no. And even if they are, he should just go there to eat, sign some autographs, take some photos, and remind people he's pretty cool.
2. I'm the one texting her friend about it in a fury but doing nothing. I wanted to say that actually the kids are all right, but then I remembered that we have to have a staff member stand there keeping the high schoolers from cutting in the lunch line. It's only a handful and I never catch them dead to rights because I'm paying attention to handing out food, but my dream is to wait until they get to me thinking that they got away with it, smile at them, and tell them to go to the back of the line.
3. If nominated, I will not run, etc.
4. The only ones getting gangbanged are the constituency.
5. There's this neat "Kids Bowl Free" thing that I think is all around the country where you can sign your kid up and they can bowl one free game a day from June to August, and we signed up for the second year in a row. I buy up for my husband and I to play free too, for $45, which at the place we go pays itself off after maybe three visits. Shoe rentals aren't included and I'm sure they make their money back from us buying food, but it's fun and my husband had been wanting to bowl more often so it's a pretty good deal.
1. Should Stephen King sue The Stand? Explain. - See Andrew Smith's answer.
2. In a world that’s gone crazy, are you the line-cutter, Walter Sobchak, or a bystander? Tell your story. - I'm Walter Sobchack. I'm in my "I wish a bitch would" phase of life.
3. Are you one of the 61 people running to be the next governor of California? Unhinged answers strongly encouraged!
I wish!! I wanted to run for congress in OC, but my spouse was like, they're gonna dig up so much dirt on you. He basically vetoed it. I mean, my shenanigans mostly pre-dated social media, but I was pretty much told I could run for congress but I'd be single. I'm curious what people might dig up, so maybe next time. 😂
Are gangbangs the right metaphor for politics, or is politics a metaphor for gangbangs? Go deep (but make sure you get consent).
This made me gasp. You're right, the local news would never. When I first moved to California (from Wisconsin) the hot weather women was one of my big culture shocks. Wisconsin local news would never.
Bowling anyone?
This is my least favorite activity on the planet.
I saw a kid projectile vomit all over our local Stand. I'd take the line cutter over the puker.
1) Nah, Stephen King is not Disney. I like to think he’s too nice to go after a local burger joint.
2) Definitely I’m a rule-following irritated bystander.
3) Not me. Shouldn’t it be a little harder to get your name on the ballot, though? What did they all do, pay like a $50 filing fee or something?
4) Politics is more like playing tug of war in a mud pit. Everybody gets dirty, some get really filthy, and everyone pretends they’re having a good time but they actually are all miserable. And then some team wins. Supposedly.
5) I have a vague memory of being in a bowling alley once. I think I was too young to play.
Virga and graupel never get enough airtime.
So, how's the weather tomorrow?… is it gonna rain, or...?
Hot and sunny.
Michael, if it is amenable to you, I would prefer to stay apprised of the LA Mayoral race solely through your dispatches. And I do consider myself into the whole brevity thing.
You got it.
Politics is like a slow gangbang. They're all going to screw you, but it may be years before the next one in line gets a chance.
Truth
Vote for the billionaire with the English Name! That has always worked out well in Latin American countries!
Good thinking
“If so, doesn’t that mean the voters are next and the politicians are doing the fucking?” Uh, yes. Always. Usually with gross exploitation.
Explain!
“Everything, lady. Seriously. Explain everything.” I wish someone would make this all make sense.
Perplexing
Because you're a guy who knows stuff, I had to comment. If for no other reason than to let you know that I'm still here, and I appreciate what you share on Substack, even when it's humor that makes me laugh then cry because it's true, and, you know, because the world order is crumbling. I'll be thinking of my comrades in that big blue state as they navigate these upcoming decisions, and wishing the big red state where I live had as many choices. Peace
Hey Morgan! Great to hear from you.
1. No. He’s got enough money.
2. Walter Sobchak, all the way. I’ve made a habit out of yelling at other people’s kids at the playground since their parents are apparently AWOL.
3. I should be.
4. Politicians treat objects like voters, man.
5. Fuck it, Dude. Let’s roll.
You would crushed the debate
1. Unless they're theming their food after stuff from the book, no. And even if they are, he should just go there to eat, sign some autographs, take some photos, and remind people he's pretty cool.
2. I'm the one texting her friend about it in a fury but doing nothing. I wanted to say that actually the kids are all right, but then I remembered that we have to have a staff member stand there keeping the high schoolers from cutting in the lunch line. It's only a handful and I never catch them dead to rights because I'm paying attention to handing out food, but my dream is to wait until they get to me thinking that they got away with it, smile at them, and tell them to go to the back of the line.
3. If nominated, I will not run, etc.
4. The only ones getting gangbanged are the constituency.
5. There's this neat "Kids Bowl Free" thing that I think is all around the country where you can sign your kid up and they can bowl one free game a day from June to August, and we signed up for the second year in a row. I buy up for my husband and I to play free too, for $45, which at the place we go pays itself off after maybe three visits. Shoe rentals aren't included and I'm sure they make their money back from us buying food, but it's fun and my husband had been wanting to bowl more often so it's a pretty good deal.
Wow, I love this kids bowl free thing. Very cool. And here hoping you catch ‘em dead to rights
1. Should Stephen King sue The Stand? Explain. - See Andrew Smith's answer.
2. In a world that’s gone crazy, are you the line-cutter, Walter Sobchak, or a bystander? Tell your story. - I'm Walter Sobchack. I'm in my "I wish a bitch would" phase of life.
3. Are you one of the 61 people running to be the next governor of California? Unhinged answers strongly encouraged!
I wish!! I wanted to run for congress in OC, but my spouse was like, they're gonna dig up so much dirt on you. He basically vetoed it. I mean, my shenanigans mostly pre-dated social media, but I was pretty much told I could run for congress but I'd be single. I'm curious what people might dig up, so maybe next time. 😂
Are gangbangs the right metaphor for politics, or is politics a metaphor for gangbangs? Go deep (but make sure you get consent).
This made me gasp. You're right, the local news would never. When I first moved to California (from Wisconsin) the hot weather women was one of my big culture shocks. Wisconsin local news would never.
Bowling anyone?
This is my least favorite activity on the planet.
I saw a kid projectile vomit all over our local Stand. I'd take the line cutter over the puker.
Emily this is a perfect sentence: “I'm Walter Sobchack. I'm in my "I wish a bitch would" phase of life.” You need to run for Congress.
I will explain this rationale to my husband.
I believe they draw straws so to speak, shortest to longest is my guess.
Seems likely
1) Nah, Stephen King is not Disney. I like to think he’s too nice to go after a local burger joint.
2) Definitely I’m a rule-following irritated bystander.
3) Not me. Shouldn’t it be a little harder to get your name on the ballot, though? What did they all do, pay like a $50 filing fee or something?
4) Politics is more like playing tug of war in a mud pit. Everybody gets dirty, some get really filthy, and everyone pretends they’re having a good time but they actually are all miserable. And then some team wins. Supposedly.
5) I have a vague memory of being in a bowling alley once. I think I was too young to play.
Love your response to the line cutter. If I’m in a hurry I will ask to cut. But I try not to be in a hurry. It’s not a good look.
Plot twist: Steven King should *buy* The Stand.
Further plot twist: Stephen King should feature cut-in-line girl as the next bloody victim in a forthcoming horror novel.
This is the only correct answer.
I grew up with Dwight Eisenhower’s picture on the wall in my classroom.
Kids today have Donald Trump’s picture.
Kids don’t miss much, especially the messages we send them.
Nailed it