35 Comments
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Bill Southern's avatar

Michael, I think you need to start laying off staff - the dogs have got to go.

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Michael Estrin's avatar

I think you're right.

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Andrew Sniderman 🕷️'s avatar

Just back from Yosemite - it's free during the shutdown. Go there! Wasn't sure what to expect but other than no one at the entrance, everything was open and the bathrooms were clean. Bathroom hygiene is the measure of every national park.

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

Regarding 1.) reducing the number of pillows on the bed and 2.) the dogs refusing food of ANY kind--- you're just dreaming, pal. However, this is one of my favorite posts ever.

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Eric Pierce's avatar

Less pillows on the bed is not a symbolic victory. It's a spit in the face of tyranny.

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Michael Estrin's avatar

Solidarity, Eric! Yes, we can have fewer pillows.

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Annie Griffiths's avatar

Absolutely brilliant. Thank you.

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Michael Estrin's avatar

Thank you for the kind words and for upgrading your subscription, Annie!

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tab's avatar

You could hold out till the next election and wait for the dogs to be unhappy when their pet insurance goes away so you can outvote her. But, you probably won't like waiting that long.

You could accept the goldening of the home if she agrees to use gold paint rather than real gold.

You could demand she stops the plan to pave over the garden and put a ballroom in the backyard which will eliminate the sandbox where you can bury your head.

We have no visitors scheduled for a few months. You can use our spare bedroom.

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Eduardo de Leon's avatar

Stop the shutdown and go to a retreat. Come back and hand her the purse; live a happy life ever after…do negotiate some pocket money.

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Walt Wise's avatar

I guess you can continue to go full-ostrict in front of Christina until she backs down.

You could always give Trump a call and let him negotiate a deal.

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Erika Zeitz's avatar

2. Since this seems to be a stalemate, demand that a mediator be called in. I’d recommend Jimmy Carter, but it’s a little late for that. Maybe Jimmy Kimmel. Don’t demand budget things. Just act as if you have a fair and balanced budget.

1. House may be shut down, but, I’m sure you’ve got a key. Get in there and dig up all the gold and turn that into actual cash. Turn that cash into—I don’t know… a shutdown survival kit with astronaut food? Or buy an RV and travel around the nation with your non-partisan platform. Leave the sombrero.

3. I know there’s a sombrero. Somewhere.

4. Household budget? Huh? We check the bank. Add money from one account to another. Then my husband cooks up a big pot of beans.

5. Of course you can stay. But you have to come to Kansas. And I hope you enjoy beans!

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Michael Estrin's avatar

Jimmy Kimmel may not be Jimmy Carter, but he’s the Jimmy we have, and a Jimmy is better than no Jimmy.

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Keri Albers's avatar

(that’s what she said)

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Geoffrey Golden's avatar

You demand health care subsidies! (Christina pays for your spa day.)

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Michael Estrin's avatar

Yes!

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Sheila Moeschen's avatar

Mr. Estrin! Mr. Estrin! Thanks. Sheila from The Daily Nonsense and TomFoolery Monthly: WILL this shut down impact the Absurd Acts of Journalism Department? How long do you think people will tolerate NOT getting any absurd journalism coverage? Lastly, was Taylor Swift's "CANCELLED" actually about you? Thank you.

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Michael Estrin's avatar

Indeed! This aggression against absurdist journalism will not stand.

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Sheila Moeschen's avatar

Glad to see you are on the right side of history, sir!

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KdD's avatar

Burritos for lunch and professional massages for afternoon break!

You can hold out as long as she doesn’t turn off your Venmo account. And hope she doesn’t license out the house to a concessions company.

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Michael Estrin's avatar

This is wise. Every word.

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Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

Love the home shut down. We have a check book shut down or a venmo shut down as it were. Budget cuts actually work.

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Michael Estrin's avatar

Shut it all down until it starts working again

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Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

Like an old Dell.

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

Hah!

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amy ness's avatar

I think therefore i am? Chris farley and kids in the hall 1998 the arguements without being allowed to be part of the fight!!!! Fight fight!!! suffocation and shutting down ... all is well knee ow! Chivry is not dead but misogyny might be?hope is futile faith is everything. Faith that the deal is dealing with it all....

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amy ness's avatar

Meant

Misogyny is not dead but chivalry might be!

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amy ness's avatar

Lets hope christina holds put for as long as it takes for a fair deal, the ostrich has lurched his head out of the sand and the real elephant in the room is exposed we can see our problems now. the house doesnt need to be shut down let domestic tranqulity reign!

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amy ness's avatar

Its been a gas! A fair deal is facing each other with honesty and fairness and not gaslighting silencing women they try to patholgize and control somnrarios on! face yourselves and the crimes u commited while laughijg your asses off denying everything and your enemies pain

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