Seaside sexism, dolphins, doppelgängers in the news, a cheesy dick pic, Canada for the win
If the Canadian rock band Loverboy is to believed, everybody is working for the weekend. Everybody, except those people who work on the weekend, of course. Since Christina and I fall into the first category, we decided to have a little fun on Sunday. We drove up the 101 to Ventura County to visit our friend Tara and see some dolphins.
At the marina, while waiting to board the boat, Christina struck up a conversation with a woman who owned a local real estate agency.
“If you’re going out on the water, make sure you put on lots of sunscreen,” the real estate agent said.
“We’ve got plenty,” Christina replied.
“And a hat,” she said. “You’ve gotta have a hat.”
I was wearing my Dodgers cap, so I was set. But Christina had left her hat at home. By coincidence, or maybe by design, the real estate agent’s office was right next to a shop that sold hats.
“I’ll be right back,” Christina said.
Christina went into the shop to pick out a hat.
“Wait ‘till she finds out what the hats cost in that store.”
The real estate agent laughed, for some reason.
“Are you the ATM?” the real estate agent asked me.
“Huh?”
“The ATM, the cash machine. You make the money, and she spends it. That’s marriage, am I right?”
“No, my wife makes way more money than me,” I said. “She’s her own ATM.”
The real estate’s agent comment rubbed me the wrong way because it was the kind of sexist assumption that undermines women and traps everyone in nonsensical gender norms. But I didn’t clap back. It was my day off, and we came to Ventura to buy an overpriced hat and see some dolphins!
It’s not you, it’s your doppelgänger
After writing about a sticker that bears more than a passing resemblance to me, several alert Situation Normal readers wrote in to share a fascinating New York Times story about doppelgängers. Thank you for sharing, Bob, Anna, Mark, and Earl! Or, maybe the thanks goes to your doppelgängers.
In related doppelgänger news, Anne Kadet of Café Anne has agreed to look into the story behind the mystery sticker. If you’re not reading Café Anne, you’re doing something wrong. And if you are reading Café Anne, I suggest paying for a subscription because this sticker case is probably going to have some expenses.
A cheesy dick pic
I’d like to tell you that reading Situation Normal is harmless, but that just isn’t true. Case in point: after engaging with my story about cheese, one reader’s feed has been overrun with pornographic pictures of cheese. Sorry about that, Tab.
ICYMI, Canada rules!
I wrote about racing to buy McDonald’s breakfast before they stop serving. Several American readers commiserated over the fact that McDonald’s stops serving breakfast by mid-morning (times vary by location to maximize confusion).
But Situation Normal’s Canadian readers had a different story to tell. They described a fast food paradise where McDonald’s serves breakfast 24/7. Way to go, Canada! Between universal healthcare, Degrassi Junior High, and some Alanis Morissette bangers, I always knew you were cool as fuck, but McDonald’s breakfast anytime is next level!
What I’m reading
After reading Nixonland by Rick Perlstein and writing about some family memories, including the time I was a PA on Nixon’s funeral, I decided to check out Perlstein first book, Before the Storm. Like Nixonland, Before the Storm chronicles the origins of the modern conservative movement in America. But Before the Storm hits different because it tells the story of Barry Goldwater, who lost to LBJ in 1964, but nevertheless went on to inspire generations of truly unhinged people who believed, among other things, that Ike was a commie, civil rights was a commie plot, and fluoride in the water would make you commie.
I’m enjoying Before the Storm, but learning that my hometown of Los Angeles was a hotbed of activity for the The John Birch Society in the early 60s freaks me the fuck out. Anyway, if you’re curious about the origins of the bat-shit crazy conservative assault on American democracy, and you don’t mind being freaked the fuck out, I highly recommend Before the Storm.
Contribute to Situation Normal!
Do you have a question about something I’ve written? Got a hilarious anecdote or overheard you want to share? See something on the internet, or IRL, that made you LOL or WTF? Find a funny product the wild? Send your submissions to me at 👇
michael.j.estrin@gmail.com
When submitting, please tell me if you’d like to use an alias, or do the first name last initial thing. If you write a newsletter, I’m happy to link to it, so let me know!
Stick around and chat!
You know the drill. I’ve got questions, you may or may not have answers.
Have you ever met your doppelgänger, or another person’s doppelgänger?
Watching dolphins brought me joy. What’s bringing you joy these days?
Alanis Morissette’s 1995 album Jagged Little Pill was full of bangers. What was your favorite song on that album? Hint: You Oughta Know the answer to this one.
Is Canada the greatest country on Earth?
What are you reading these days?
Until Sunday, when I’ll have a story about running late…
I grew up a short car ride from Canada. There’s lots to like about the country IMO, from the exquisite Toronto Comic Arts Festival to the Kids in the Hall to putting malt vinegar on french fries. Always enjoy visiting!
Gotta stack of books my kids never let me read. Halfway through Everything Abridged by Dennard Dayle, gonna start The Winter Fortress by Neal Bascomb after (a 2019 Xmas gift!), and then hoping to start The Harlem Shuffle by Colson Whitehead. For researching my novel, need to revisit parts of Black Edge by Sheelah Kolhatkar, and finally dig into Moneyland by Oliver Bullough. Too many books, not enough time!