Of droids and men and dogs

If you ask Christina, the pancake-shaped droid that cleans our floors is the best purchase we ever made.

If you ask me, the droid is trouble. I won't let it into the kitchen while I cook. For one thing, it's a hazard. That sucker could trip me while I'm carrying a hot baking dish, or a sharp knife. But that's not it, not really. I'm not worried about foul-play. It's fair play I fear. Today, the droid cleans the floor, tomorrow it chops up the veggies and fries them up in a wok, the day after that I'm out of a job.

Do wives dream of electric husbands?

The dog has his problems with the droid, too. Like all dogs, Mortimer believes that if he hides under the couch, he is invisible. That belief dies hard two weeks after the droid's arrival. From under the couch, Mortimer watches the droid approach. At first, he's curious, then concerned. When the droid is less than a foot away, Mortimer realizes he's fucked. Because he's under the couch he can't get up to run away. Then, in an instant, droid meets dog.

BEEP-BAP!

The droid is well-programmed. It rolls away, one hundred-eighty degrees in the opposite direction. Perhaps, it even learned something, or at the very least, it transmitted the incident back to its programmers for future learnings.

Mortimer, flees the scene too. Out from under the couch, a quick glance at his nemesis, then off like a jack-rabbit all the way to the other end of the house. The dog's learnings are immediate: THE COUCH HAS BEEN COMPROMISED.

～Fin～

One housekeeping item

If you follow me on Wattpad, you need to change your password because the site was hacked. Wattpad collects very little user data and it doesn't have any financial info, so the hack isn't as sensitive as other hacks. But it still sucks. I'm sorry that this happened. Really sorry. Change your password.

One cool thing

If you're looking for a zany true crime caper, I highly recommend HBO's McMillions documentary. I don't want to spoil it, but let's just say that if you ever played Monopoly at McDonald's, you were robbed. Also, the Jacksonville, Florida FBI office is a total party office. Just saying.