22 Comments

Ah, your themes and delivery were AWESOME today. I think that YOUR use of SNAFU is likely the best I've ever seen! A handful of military jargon is funny and this was hilarious. A lot can serve as an endrun to talk dirty and get away with it. As for Anne's plate o' food, I think it was all about making people work. Big hunks of cheese you have to cut yourself, grapes still on the bunch. Frilly toothpicks are cool and feel like the 1970s when everything was possible. As the mid-terms near I will amp up my polling game. As for your missed job interview, I would think you could be an ace consultant advising how to craft questions on surveys so as not to drive frustration. Phone polling is bad and they need help.

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Thanks Mark! I think you’re right about phone polling. The industry was probably never great, but it’s really gone down hill.

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Wow you’re right I didn’t look that closely but that charcuterie board is a part-time job all by itself! Maybe the job Apixio could hire Mr. Estrin to fill????

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I'm beginning to wonder how much money there is in these pile of cold food boards. Once this biz reaches flyover country it's probably peak charcuterie.

If you get an Apixio interview make sure you can tell a date from a fig -- rookie mistake

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lol

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Haven’t heard from Apixio, but I’m headed to the market to study figs and dates

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Haha, jokes on you ants! Every day I put out bread, cheese and splashes of red wine. By the end of the week they're so tired they can't even make it out of the anthill. That's how you get around having to buy pesticides. Also, the job posting email hit home because I am a software engineer. When I state that I will only work remotely, full time and not for any startups, I invariably get offers for in office, contract work in Bangalore working for a "disruptor". Somebody is making a lot of money selling these email lists.

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I like your plan to get the ants drunk! As for the emails, I think you’re right about someone getting rich selling these emails, and I guess it works just enough to keep clients paying?? I just hope the other Michael Estrin, the software engineer, is getting some really good offers to write comedy!

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I used to spend hours per week on the phone with Blue Shield. A nice 40 minute shouting match with the IVR (interactive voice response) would soften me up for the human operator. Since the IVR never had any idea what I was saying, I'd be shouting by the time I got to the human. I'd sound like Lizzy Caplan: thinking I'm on stage, over-enunciating, and shouting.

BS: What is your name?

Me: Len Vishnevsky

BS: Are you the spouse or dependent?

Me: Yes

BS: Are you the spouse or dependent?

Me: YES!

BS: SIR! Are you the spouse or dependent?

Me (standing up, bent over, holding the phone directly under my mouth, bright red, screaming):

YEESSSSS!

I!!!!!!!

AAAAAMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: <Breathing heavily>

BS: SIR! It's an either or question.

Me: Dependent.

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I think there’s a lot of truth to idea that the automated voices are there to soften you up, or get you to hang up. Also, every time I end up facing off against one of those automated voices I feel like Dave from 2001.

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You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, so I’m glad you gave Apixio a shot. I gather they’re a healthcare technology company? Funny newsletters are the best medicine, and I’m sure there are scientific studies to prove it.

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Yes, I think Apixio is aiming to “disrupt” healthcare, and as we know disrupters are always looking for unconventional ways to change an industry. Laughter is the best medicine, but it’s also one of the most cost effective medicines! I’m thinking that if they don’t hire me, I’ll just go full Zuckerberg and start my own company. With any luck, they’ll sue me and Sorkin will make a movie from the deposition transcripts. What’s cooler than a million sick people laughing? A billion sick people laughing!

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You're absolutely right: indulging the weirdos around you is the surest way to unlock comedy gold. My wife and I have a running back and forth about which one of us attracts weird people (it's me), but at this point I wear it like a badge of honor. Every writer is a reporter first.

Also, you're a lock at Apixio. And I'm very, very disappointed in Pooja. It's unequivocal now she's a fascist.

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You should absolutely wear your weirdo magnet as a badge of honor. I do! And yes, I think we can close the book on that fascist Pooja.

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I am a data scientist and I get lots of emails about six month java contracts 2,000 miles away (which is much more likely to be WFH than three years ago, but still). I think it's about 70% Apixio will hire you.

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Len, I like the odds you're giving me, and since you're a data scientist, I'm really confident about this prediction!

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Wait, was the pollster a real person or automated? She sounded automated but then, there certainly are folks that are that - ok, deleted the words - you know.

I'm with you on talking to pollsters, strangers, JWs, homeless, and just about anyone. Not necessarily for the story angle (you do this well) but just b/c I'm always curious about other people: what they believe, what they are experiencing, who they are. And more than you might imagine are definitely lactose intolerant. ;)

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Great question, Jan! The pollster was definitely a real person, but given the back-and-forth I can see how you might've thought it was automated. Franky, I might've had better luck communicating with a machine in this case. Tbh, I was kinda bummed because 1) there's always the potential for a story and 2) I like to try and figure out who paid for the poll by reverse engineering the questions (it's usually pretty obvious if you keep a close eye on local politics).

Also, thank you for sharing your passion for speaking to strangers! Keep up the great work!

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Ay-yi-yi! A real person. So, do you think this person was dense - or- do you think the poll was designed that way to see if you changed answers?

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I think they were a little dense.

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Mr. Estrin you know those clipboard people who stalk you on NYC street corners and try to get you to sign up to support the ASPCA or Greenpeace for the rest of your life? Do they have those in LA? How do you deal with them?

When you visit Brooklyn I will order from the underground snack board lady—one for each of us!

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We have them in Los Angeles. They’re easier to deal with because they’re usually camped out in front of supermarkets. If it’s a cause I support, I tell them to keep up the good work and keep walking; sometimes I offer a high-five or fist bump. If it’s a cause I don’t like (usually a recall petition these days) I tell them they’re working against their own interests; that confuses them because it’s not clear how I know what their interests are. And of course, sometimes I stop to talk if there’s something there.

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